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Keldeo vs TruetoCheese vs JackPK

Eifie

oh man, good times.
Pronoun
she/her
[size=+2]Keldeo vs TruetoCheese vs JackPK[/size]

Format: 3v3v3 single
Style: Set
DQ: 2 weeks
Damage Cap: 89%
Banned/Restricted Moves: OHKOs, super fang, direct healing, attract
Arena Description: Jerome's Acidic Quest for Evolution (combination of three arenas, originally by Kratos Aurion, Sangfroidish, and TruetoCheese)

[hide=long description]The ref warned them about Pursuit, bro! He told ‘em dog! You just don’t do that in the Communication Club Colosseum, man, not when it’s frickin’ hailing inside. But nooo, the last trainers to battle in here just had to mess around, the arena’s weather generators are broken like whoa and now the next trainers and ref have to deal with the meteorologist’s nightmare they’ve left behind.

The Communication Club Colosseum itself is a standard enclosed arena, empty and large enough to accomodate any pokémon comfortably on its sturdy metal floor. For reasons known only to the mysterious techie wizards who designed the room, it is still possible to use just about any attack in here—rocks and surges of water appear out of nowhere when an attack calls for them, and the floor can be tunneled through and will repair itself after the match. No sense letting physics or lack or resources get in the way of a good ‘n wild battle, after all.

This freedom of attack use would normally also apply to weather moves, the room’s artificial weather generators providing bright light, stiff breezes and precipitation of all stripes whenever needed. The techie wizards have no explanation for the way the generators react when the move Pursuit is used while they’re active, however, and thanks to the previous occupants’ shenanigans they’re now on the fritz something serious. Bright lights shine, rain and hail drive down and a sandstorm tears across the room, effectively causing the effects of Sunny Day, Rain Dance, Hail and Sandstorm to remain active all at once. There’ll be no turning them off for a while, either, and they refuse to respond to any new weather commands, so the barrage of anomalous weather remains in place indefinitely and can’t be canceled or replaced by using a weather move (or additional use of Pursuit, for that matter, which will function normally). The intense weather assailing the battlers from all directions causes them a great deal of pain, shearing 10% health/round off of any Pokémon that is not completely immune to any and all weather damage and 7% off of Pokémon with a partial immunity. It is also quite difficult to see what’s going on through all the roiling rainhailsandsun, and all moves, save for never-miss moves and self- or field-targeting moves, suffer a 10% accuracy drop.

In addition, at the end of every round, the wacky weather magic will turn each battler into a random Pokemon — legendaries included. Typing, movepool, and ability (randomly generated, if applicable) will all change to that of the new form, while gender, status effects, and stat changes will remain the same; if a burned Pokemon turns into a Fire type, a poisoned Pokemon turns into a Poison or Steel type, or a paralyzed Pokemon turns into an Electric type, those effects will disappear.

Finally, at the end of every round that the battle is not on the FRICKIN ROOF, there is a 40% chance that the battle will trigger the Colosseum's movement simulators, effectively moving it onto the club's FRICKIN ROOF. WHY ARE WE UP HERE OH GOD. HOLD ON FOR DEAR LIFE BECAUSE THE WEATHER'S EFFECTS ARE INCREASED (WHY) AND THE SUNRAINHAILSAND DEALS 2% MORE DAMAGE A ROUND THAN NORMAL. AFTER EVERY ROUND ON THE FRICKIN ROOF ALL POKEMON TAKE 8% TYPELESS DAMAGE AND FALL BACK TO THE NORMAL ARENA. AAAAAAAH. (The battle starts in the normal arena.)
  • Sand, hail, rain, and sun are all in effect at once. This deals 10% damage per round to all Pokemon, except those with an immunity to sand and/or hail damage, who take 7% a round
  • Due to the weather, there is a blanket 10% accuracy drop (15% if on the roof) to all but never-miss, self-targeting, and arena-targeting moves
  • At the end of every round each battler turns into a random Pokemon; type, movepool, and ability all change, but status effects, stat changes, and gender stay the same
  • At the end of every normal round (the battle starts normally), there is a 40% chance that the battle will move to the FRICKIN ROOF, where certain effects (see below) are increased and the round's weather damage increases by 2%. After every round on the FRICKIN ROOF, both battlers take 8% typeless damage and move back to the normal arena.
  • Water- and Fire-type moves do not have their damage modified by the weather (no boosts or penalties)
  • Blizzard, Hurricane and Thunder all have 100% accuracy (but are affected by the blanket 10% accuracy drop)
  • Solar Beam can be used instantly without any additional energy cost and does not have reduced base power
  • Rock-types have their special defense increased by the sandstorm
  • Pokémon with Chlorophyll, Harvest, Hydration, Leaf Guard, Sand Force, Sand Rush and Swift Swim have their abilities activated
  • Pokémon with Solar Power have boosted special attack and take sun damage each round as normal
  • Pokémon with Dry Skin do not get healed by or take extra damage from their ability (they still take the blanket damage per round)
  • Pokémon with Ice Body or Rain Dish get healed by their ability, then take the usual weather damage
  • Cherrim alternates between its sunshine and overcast forms at the beginning of each round (ref determines starting form at random)
  • Castform randomly changes between its rain, sun and hail forms at the beginning of each round (at the beginning of each action if on the roof)
  • Weather Ball is always at 100 base power (150 on the roof) and its type is randomly (re)determined to be Fire, Water, Ice or Rock each time it is used
  • Growth raises attack and special attack by 2 with each use (3 on the roof)
[/hide]

Keldeo's active squad

duskull Eris the female Duskull <Levitate> @ Lucky Egg
cranidos Shay the male Cranidos <Mold Breaker> @ Dawn Stone
ralts River the female Ralts <Synchronize> @ Rocky Helmet
crobat Vesper the female Crobat <Inner Focus> @ Black Sludge
pangoro Toby the male Pangoro <Iron Fist> @ Expert Belt
pawniard Kiel the male Pawniard <Defiant> @ Muscle Band
nidoran-f Sophie the female Nidoran♀ <Poison Point> @ Lucky Egg
swirlix Charlotte the female Swirlix <Sweet Veil> @ Whipped Dream
petilil Amelie the female Petilil <Own Tempo> @ Sun Stone
swinub cutest cutemon the male Swinub <Oblivious> @ Light Clay


TruetoCheese's active squad

pikachu Coulomb the male Pikachu <Static> @ Thunder Stone
noibat Rathian the female Noibat <Infiltrator> @ Lucky Egg
scraggy Pants! the male Scraggy <Shed Skin>
zubat Bram Stoker the male Zubat <Inner Focus>
amaura Littlefoot the male Amaura <Refrigerate> @ Never-Melt Ice
zorua FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY the female Zorua <Illusion> @ Lucky Egg
croagunk Frog the male Croagunk <Anticipation> @ Lucky Egg
pawniard Cutman the male Pawniard <Defiant> @ Lucky Egg
chikorita majestic banana mushroom drago the female Chikorita <Overgrow> @ Lucky Egg
swablu Jerome the male Swablu <Natural Cure> @ Lucky Egg


JackPK's active squad

froakie Sheena the female Froakie <Torrent>
inkay Reynolds the male Inkay <Contrary>
honedge Lancelot the male Honedge <No Guard>
budew Louise the female Budew <Poison Point>

Notes

Posted this from my phone because I literally couldn't wait. I'll edit the arena in later.

  • TruetoCheese sends out
  • JackPK sends out
  • Keldeo sends out and posts commands
  • JackPK posts commands
  • TruetoCheese posts commands
  • oh my god what am I doing
 
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Who better than Jerome to head off this gathering of insane individuals!

nHAH9Aa.png

He's here to kick ass and take pizza, and he's all out of pizza.
 
Sure, why not, let's go with Louise because she's the only one of my Pokemon I haven't battled with yet!

budew
 
Alright then, it's cutemon time! swinubswinubswinub

Light Screen, then Icy Wind away, attempting to hit both of them and prevent them from hitting you if they're going for a physical move; hitting only one is fine, if only one is hittable. Aim for Louise's feet and Jerome's beak if you can. If the Budew dares lay Spikes or Toxic Spikes around your cuteness, target the Icy Wind at them instead, attempting to freeze the actually spiky parts or maybe even blow the spikes towards Louise if they're normal spikes and Jerome if they're Toxic, even if neither opponent is hittable. If neither opponent is hittable and you haven't been spikes'd or the Swablu is attempting to turn your attack against you with some sort of wind move, use Defense Curl. If you can't do either of those, you're asleep, or the conditions for one of them are fulfilled but you can't perform it, Snore at the Swablu so as to waste the least amount of energy.

Light Screen / Snore @ Jerome ~ Icy Wind / Defense Curl / Snore @ Jerome x2
 
damn you are a sexy plant female, why is attract banned

Okay! Start off with a Swagger at the cutest cutemon because wouldn't it be cute to see him in a confused rage? Then, spit at Toxic at Jerome so he doesn't feel left out. Finally, target whoever has the most health remaining: either a Seed Bomb at the cutest cutemon or Venoshock at Jerome.

Do your best to stay as far away from both of them as you can (while still being in close enough range to use your commanded attacks), so neither one can try to catch you and the other together in an area of effect.

Swagger @ cutemon ~ Toxic @ Jerome ~ Seed Bomb @ cutemon / Venoshock @ Jerome
 
Alrighty Jerome, we really don't want to get hit by any of their shenaniganry, lest we are hurted deeply and painfully. So I want you to wait and see if cutemon gets confused, and if he does, then we're going to go for a big Substitute (25%), and then Extrasensory twice on Louise.

If cutemon wasn't confused on the first action, we're free to Snatch that lovely Light Screen (maybe we'll even get a Light Clay boost!) and follow up with a big Substitute and Extrasensory on Louise. If you can't delay your Snatch for any reason (though it should be pretty clear if cutemon's confused or not, though I guess priority might be an issue? But you're really good with tricks and whatnot so maybe you can pull it off anyway), then just Substitute right from the get go and dig in to Louise's mind.

Snatch @ cutemon/Substitute (25%) ~ Substitute (25%)/Extrasensory @ Louise ~ Extrasensory @ Louise

We've only got our little veil of darkness for one round, Jerome, so let's make the most of it.

Also I demand every 'mon sports some swanky shades. Because of reasons.
 
Round One

Keldeo (3/3 left)
Swinub
cutest cutemon ♂ @ Light Clay
Ability: Oblivious
Health: 100%
Energy: 100%
Status: In want of pizza.

TruetoCheese (3/3 left)
Swablu
Jerome ♂ @ Lucky Egg
Ability: Natural Cure
Health: 100%
Energy: 100%
Status: In greater want of pizza.

JackPK (3/3 left)
Budew
Louise
Ability: Poison Point
Health: 100%
Energy: 100%
Status: In greatest, most unsurpassable want of pizza.

------------------------------​

Jerome the Swablu said he has leftover pizza and can't finish it. In fact, he has exactly enough pizza to share with one (1) Pokémon. cutest cutemon wants that pizza. Louise wants that pizza. Jerome apparently wants that pizza after all, even though he was the one who offered it up.

Instead, they get acid rain. Rain continues to fall. The sandstorm rages. The sunlight is strong. Hail continues to fall. The fog is deep...

In fact, the condensation of the fog glitters like so many beautiful dewdrops off of Louise's sexy plant female self. It makes her look quite fetching, if she may say so herself. And she may. In fact, she's going to say so to cutest cutemon. Louise swaggers right up to the Swinub and tells him all about how he's been usurped, she's the rightful cutest cutemon now, in fact, cutest cutemon was never even in the running. Is cutest cutemon (whom she shall now call blob of pig, a brilliant name of her own devising in just this moment) a sexy plant female? Louise didn't think so. But she is.

Now that strikes a nerve. cutest cutemon glares at Louise furiously through closed eyes. He is so a sexy plant female! In fact, he's going to prove it! His planned attack is somehow going to prove it. So the Swinub closes his eyes even more to concentrate, forehead wrinkling as he screws them shut as much as possible, and... nothing. The void. Eternal darkness and despair. It's so shocking, he's got to open his eyes and look—and when he does, he sees Jerome chirp-cackling at him, a lovely semitransparent pale green veil visible against the white of his cottony wings. Now he's even more angry! That was his move! Why does everybody hate him?! He's the cutest cutemon! Everybody's supposed to love him! They're all just jealous! This bothers him so much, in fact, that he has no recourse but to smack his head into the ground. That'll show them. It hurts so much. Owwww.

Fluttering about placidly, Jerome sheds several months' worth of cotton from his wings. It's okay, his wings are somehow just as fluffy as before. Just Swablu things. He shapes the pile of discarded fluff clumsily with his beak and trills out one pure, lovely note and the construct flaps to life, lifting effortlessly off the ground to hover in front of him. Clearly jealous of his masterful creation, Louise hacks up a wad of gross toxic waste and spits it in his direction, but it's absorbed right into the mass of fluff, not even leaving a mark.

Jerome grins to himself and fixes Louise with a steady gaze, eyes taking on a faint pink glow. Another breath and he's managed to invade her mind, cackling gleefully as he sends a pulse of psychic power right into her pain receptors. The Budew seizes up on the spot, vines unfurling to stand straight up as she cries out in pain. Jerome hopes to distract her from attacking altogether, but Louise recovers in a moment and dances away from him, head vines glowing as they curl together again. A dark green ball of pointy seeds materializes between them, and she summons up all the strength she can muster to fling it at blob of pig with a grunt. The seeds suddenly burst into bloom as they make contact with the Swinub's fur, tiny vines and thorns slapping and jabbing at him. Apparently the shock of it all is enough to bring cutest cutemon back to awareness for a moment. He takes a deep breath and then exhales a cool wind laced with tiny pieces of ice and snow, that spreads out in a cone in front of him to engulf both of his foes. Jerome's Substitute stoically takes the hit, right in a weak point of its construction, but Louise isn't so lucky. The wind buffets back her diminutive form and tiny crystals of frost form on her skin, making her movements sluggish.

As the many forms of weather mercilessly beat down upon them, the three pizza competitors suddenly find themselves taking on new forms. Jerome balloons up to several times his size, taking on the form of a large, snowy bear, while cutest cutemon transforms into a decidedly not cute spinning top and begins to hover an inch off the ground. Meanwhile, poor Louise the Slowpoke realizes that she can hardly remember how to move at all...

------------------------------​

Keldeo (3/3 left)
Baltoy
cutest cutemon ♂ @ Light Clay
Ability: Levitate
Health: 72%
Energy: 95%
Status: Now the world really is spinning... Moderately confused (20% failure chance). +2 Attack.
Used: nothing ~ [confused] ~ Icy Wind

TruetoCheese (3/3 left)
Beartic
Jerome ♂ @ Lucky Egg
Ability: Snow Cloak
Health: 70%
Energy: 81%
Status: Snickering to himself. Has a 14% Substitute.
Used: Snatch (Light Screen) ~ Substitute (20%) ~ Extrasensory @ Louise

JackPK (3/3 left)
Slowpoke
Louise
Ability: Own Tempo
Health: 73%
Energy: 89%
Status: W.......h.........aaaaa....................... -1 Speed.
Used: Swagger @ cutest cutemon ~ Toxic @ Jerome (failed) ~ Seed Bomb @ cutest cutemon

Arena Status
  • A Light Screen surrounds Jerome (3 more actions).
  • IT'S FREAKIN' RAINING ACID YOU GUYS, WHY ARE YOU HERE

Damage and Energy

  • cutest cutemon's Health: 100% - 6% (confusefail) - 15% (Seed Bomb) - 7% (acid rain) = 72%
  • cutest cutemon's Energy: 100% - 2% (confusefail) - 3% (Icy Wind) = 95%
  • Jerome's Health: 100% - 20% (Substitute) - 10% (acid rain) = 70%
  • Jerome's Substitute: 20% - 6% (Icy Wind) = 14%
  • Jerome's Energy: 100% - 2% (Snatch) - 1% (Light Screen) - 10% (Substitute) - 4% (Extrasensory) - 2% (Light Screen) = 81%
  • Louise's Health: 100% - 12% (Extrasensory) - 5% (Icy Wind) - 10% (acid rain) = 73%
  • Louise's Energy: 100% - 4% (Swagger) - 4% (Toxic) - 3% (Seed Bomb) = 89%

Notes
  • Speed order: cutest cutemon (55) > Jerome (50) > Louise (1).
  • cutest cutemon evolved into a Baltoy, Jerome evolved into a Beartic, and Louise evolved into a Slowpoke.
  • I don't know how it works in the games, but Jerome didn't get the Light Clay boost because he was the one using Light Screen, and he wasn't holding one.
  • Jerome's Light Screen will wear off after the third action next round.
  • cutest cutemon didn't actually move first on the second action (he moved last), but it was just easier to write that way.
  • The biggest Substitute size is 20%. Are you testing me, chees?!
  • Pokémon can't discern each others' health totals, but Louise targeted cutest cutemon on the third action since neither had been attacked directly and Jerome had a Substitute.
  • I multiplied Icy Wind's BP by 0.5 (instead of the usual 0.75) for targeting multiple targets that were pretty spread out. It got a crit on Jerome's Substitute, so it bypassed his Light Screen.
  • JackPK commands first, followed by TruetoCheese, and then Keldeo.
 
Wow, Louise, you're really slow. I could look up everybody else's movesets and formulate a complex strategy, but you're probably too slow to pull it off. So instead, I want you to take advantage of that slowness and use Bide on whoever you feel has most wronged you (in damage, physically, or emotionally... However you feel). Make them fear hurting you.

If somehow you get interrupted and can't finish your Bide, shoot some Scalding water at the not-cute-anymore cutemon since he got unlucky enough to be weak to your STAB.

Bide (store)/Scald @ cutemon x2 ~ Bide (release) @ cutemon / Jerome / Scald @ cutemon

Eifie, you will never cease to amaze me with your reffing speed.
 
Oh my god you are a bear. I know it's weird having illusions become real for you, but just bear with it.

Unfortunately we can't Blizzardspam because of Bide so we're going to make the most of our glorious movepool with an Ice Beam, an Icicle Crash and then an Ice Punch. All of this at cutemon.

If he protects or is untargetable on the first action then Yawn at Louise, if he does so on the other actions then Hone Claws to try and get rid of that pesky accuracy penalty.

Ice Beam @ cutemon /Yawn @ Louise ~ Icicle Crash @ cutemon /Hone Claws ~ Ice Punch @ cutemon /Hone Claws


Eifie I will pay you in cold hard pizza if you write Jerome having a philosophical revelation about illusions and his reality.
 
Let's see what we can do here, cutemon. Protect to start, Reflect on the second action, and end with a Solar Beam at Louise. If you confusionfail out of setting up the Reflect, try it again.

Protect ~ Reflect ~ Solar Beam @ Louise / Reflect
 
Round Two

Keldeo (3/3 left)
Baltoy
cutest cutemon ♂ @ Light Clay
Ability: Levitate
Health: 72%
Energy: 95%
Status: Now the world really is spinning... Moderately confused (20% failure chance). +2 Attack.

TruetoCheese (3/3 left)
Beartic
Jerome ♂ @ Lucky Egg
Ability: Snow Cloak
Health: 70%
Energy: 81%
Status: Snickering to himself. Has a 14% Substitute.

JackPK (3/3 left)
Slowpoke
Louise
Ability: Own Tempo
Health: 73%
Energy: 89%
Status: W.......h.........aaaaa....................... -1 Speed.

------------------------------​

cutest cutemon does not understand. What's happened to him? He's not cute anymore! Has his entire life been a lie? Has he always been a freakin' Baltoy inside? This is madness! Completely overwhelmed, he smacks his head against a wall, which does absolutely nothing to clear it. Then Jerome shoots a glittering beam of ice at him, and to cutest cutemon's horror, he no longer has his adorable coat of fur to protect him from the cold. The attack chills him to the non-existent bone, and he wails to the ceilings in misery.

Meanwhile, nobody's paying the slightest bit of attention to Louise, so she waits. And waits. She stares vacantly at a completely uninteresting spot on the wall, and continues to wait.

Forcing himself to relax, cutest cutemon begins whirling about on the spot (oh god what is he doing, what is happening to him), whipping up a mini-tornado to surround him. When the wind dies down, it leaves a shimmering golden orb of protective energy in its place—just in time, too. The gigantic hulking bear that is now Jerome summons up a huge icicle out of nowhere and flings it point-first in cutest cutemon's direction. The icicle speeds toward him ominously, and if he could figure out how to open these strange eyes of his they would certainly widen in terror. Thankfully his little bubble absorbs a lot of the icicle's momentum, but it still pierces his skin with an unnatural cold that he just can't get used to, and he screams out in pain.

Meanwhile, nobody's paying the slightest bit of attention to Louise, and she's bored of waiting. She curls up on the ground with a resigned sigh and cries to herself despondently. She went through this weird transformation, and now nobody likes her anymore...

cutest cutemon likes Louise plenty, though! So much, in fact, that he looks up to the artificial sun overhead and begins to harness its power, aiming in the Slowpoke's direction. He gathers energy from the light into a blindingly-white sphere that radiates heat in all directions so that he can almost feel the intensity of the light through his permanently-closed eyes. Finally the dazzling orb grows too large for him to control and he lets it fly with a quick spin and a motion of his arms. Louise is far too slow to get out of the way even if she could think fast enough to do so, and the light slams into her painfully, blistering her thick skin. Well, it probably does that, but she hasn't noticed yet. Maybe in a few moments.

Still fixated on cutest cutemon (perhaps he's jealous), Jerome surrounds his right fist in a slick of ice and punches the unfortunate Baltoy right in the Baltoy. cutest cutemon is really not familiar with this new anatomy, so he can't get any more specific than that. It sure hurts, though, and cutest cutemon collapses on his side in despair. This round is sure taking a toll on him. Why's everyone got to pick on the Baltoy?

As the shimmering green veil of energy around Jerome dissipates, the three Pokémon find themselves undergoing yet another transformation...

------------------------------​

Keldeo (3/3 left)
Frillish
cutest cutemon ♂ @ Light Clay
Ability: Water Absorb
Health: 28%
Energy: 83%
Status: NOBODY LOVES ME, EVERYBODY HATES ME... +2 Attack.
Used: [confused] ~ Reflect ~ Solar Beam @ Louise

TruetoCheese (3/3 left)
Azelf
Jerome ♂ @ Lucky Egg
Ability: Levitate
Health: 63%
Energy: 69%
Status: NOW I SHALL REIGN SUPREME! Has a 14% Substitute.
Used: Ice Beam @ cutest cutemon ~ Icicle Crash @ cutest cutemon ~ Ice Punch @ cutest cutemon

JackPK (3/3 left)
Raticate
Louise
Ability: Guts
Health: 45%
Energy: 87%
Status: ohmygodohmygodwhatshappeningtomewhatisthispain -1 Speed.
Used: Bide ~ Bide ~ Bide (failed)

Arena Status
  • A Reflect surrounds cutest cutemon (6 more actions).
  • IT'S FREAKIN' RAINING ACID YOU GUYS, WHY ARE YOU HERE

Damage and Energy

  • cutest cutemon's Health: 72% - 6% (confusefail) - 16% (Ice Beam) - 8% (Icicle Crash) - 7% (Ice Punch) - 7% (acid rain) = 28%
  • cutest cutemon's Energy: 95% - 2% (confusefail) - 1% (Reflect) - 7% (Solar Beam) - 2% (Reflect) = 83%
  • Jerome's Health: 70% - 7% (acid rain) = 63%
  • Jerome's Substitute: 14%
  • Jerome's Energy: 81% - 4% (Ice Beam) - 5% (Icicle Crash) - 3% (Ice Punch) = 69%
  • Louise's Health: 73% - 18% (Solar Beam) - 10% (acid rain) = 45%
  • Louise's Energy: 89% - 2% (Bide (failed)) = 87%

Notes
  • Speed order: Jerome (115) > Louise (82) > cutest cutemon (40).
  • cutest cutemon evolved into a Frillish, Jerome evolved into an Azelf, and Louise evolved into a Raticate.
  • Poor cutest cutemon, he didn't deserve this :C
  • Jerome's Ice Beam jolted cutest cutemon out of his confusion.
  • Louise's Bide failed since she didn't take any damage from other Pokémon before it was released. Bide is priority, so Solar Beam didn't hit until after.
  • Solar Beam didn't get an energy bonus because it is also raining, hailing, and sandstorming.
  • Jerome's Light Screen wore off after the third action.
  • cutest cutemon's Reflect will wear off after the fourth round.
  • Louise's Speed drop will wear off after the next round.
  • Since it may become pertinent this round, I'm splitting the weather damage over the actions as 3%/4%/3% (one percent off each action if the Pokémon is partially immune).
  • TruetoCheese commands first, followed by Keldeo, and then JackPK.
 
We're doing well so far, Jerome! Let's keep our momentum going and tell Louise how horrible of a rodent she is. Certainly not fit to be hunted by your Jerome-kind. If the rodentuous Budew-impostor is Protecting, Detecting or otherwise unhittable, then electrocute cutest cutemon with a Thunderbolt. If both of them can't be hit, then just buckle down with a Safeguard. We can never be too prepared, eh?

If you managed to hit cutest cutemon last action, finish him with a wicked Thunder. If he can't be hit (barring a Substitute), just ride the lightning into Louise instead. Unless you didn't hit cutest cutemon and Louise wasn't Swaggered last action, in which case Swagger at her now. If she doesn't have a Sub, then you can just Thunder her instead. If both of them can't be hit (barring substitutes) then just uh Chill, I guess?

On the final action, if cutest cutemon is still up and you can kill him with a Thunder, do it. Same protect/untargetable conditionals, and Swagger ones, as before.

Swagger @ Louise/Thunderbolt @ cutest cutemon or Louise/Safeguard ~ Thunder @ cutest cutemon or Louise/ Swagger @ Louise/Chill x2
 
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Yo, Jack, I need you and Louise to do me a big favor: get rid of that substitute on action one, maybe even with a priority combo so you don't risk the confusionfail! Then cutemon can Pain Split with "Jerome" to even the odds, and all will be well. This is to our mutual advantage! Trust me here. As for cutemon, you'll be using Dazzling Gleam until Jerome's substitute is down in case Louise doesn't cooperate, and use Pain Split once the sub goes down or isn't there. Once you've pain splitted with "Jerome," hammer away with Shadow Ball. If you can't use one of Dazzling Gleam or Shadow Ball, switch to the other.

Pain Split / Shadow Ball / Dazzling Gleam @ Jerome x3
 
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Is Jerome's Substitute currently Psychic-type to match him, or is it Normal/Flying type as it was when it was made?
 
If that's the case, then use a combo of Quick Attack and Wild Charge to take out that Substitute. Then Chill for the rest of the round to clear your head of the confusion.

If the Substitute is Psychic-type, run up quickly and Bite it to death instead.

Quick Attack + (Wild Charge/Bite) ~ Chill
 
Round Three

Keldeo (3/3 left)
Frillish
cutest cutemon ♂ @ Light Clay
Ability: Water Absorb
Health: 28%
Energy: 83%
Status: NOBODY LOVES ME, EVERYBODY HATES ME... +2 Attack.

TruetoCheese (3/3 left)
Azelf
Jerome ♂ @ Lucky Egg
Ability: Levitate
Health: 63%
Energy: 69%
Status: NOW I SHALL REIGN SUPREME! Has a 14% Substitute.

JackPK (3/3 left)
Raticate
Louise
Ability: Guts
Health: 45%
Energy: 87%
Status: ohmygodohmygodwhatshappeningtomewhatisthispain -1 Speed.

------------------------------​

It's high time Jerome be taken down a peg or two. Or ten. Louise looks at cutest cutemon, and cutest cutemon looks back at Louise. Both nod to each other, united for a time by a common foe. Louise makes her move first. Rapidly propelling herself across the ground with tiny paws, the Raticate draws up dormant static energy from the floor, fur bristling and standing on end as uncontrollable sparks gather in her coat. Her form blurs as she reaches top speed, a trail of electricity following her as she launches herself through the air to pounce on Jerome's vaguely Swablu-shaped heap of cotton. The fluffy material isn't nearly enough to slow her down, so Louise slams face-first into the floor. Ow. She slowly sits up, shaking herself as bits of fluff drift down onto her fur.

Determined to get revenge for his fluffy friend, Jerome lazily floats over to Louise and sits impressively in the air to unleash his carefully-constructed tirade of insults crafted to hit Louise's weak point for massive damage. Guess what? Jerome is a fucking LEGENDARY. A fucking AZELF. Is Louise a fucking LEGENDARY? No fucking WAY, because Louise is a fucking RATICATE. He could catch a fucking MILLION of her on fucking ROUTE 225. But there's only one of fucking JEROME the fucking AZELF. Fucking HA! Louise bristles furiously at this stream of filth directed at her sexy plant female personage. Oh, she'll show that loser who's the top of the food chain here. Yeah, she so will. But she's kind of tired right now, so she's just gonna bide her time and take a short rest until she's ready to utterly DESTROY him. For now, she'll just let cutest cutemon execute the rest of their master plan.

And so he does. The Frillish closes his eyes, probing for Jerome's mind in the void with a few bursts of psychic energy. When he finds it he quickly latches on, an aura of white light surrounding the Azelf to leech some of his lifeforce away. The stream of energy flows back into cutest cutemon himself, strengthening him until he and Jerome are on roughly even ground. Enraged that such a huge portion of his health was just sapped away from him, Jerome attempts to take out his anger on Louise as she rests, but the vicious sand swirls impenetrably around him, and he's not really sure where she is anymore... Making a guess at where he last saw her, Jerome raises his arms and the rumble of thunder answers his call, and a bolt of lightning zigzags down from the ceiling to strike a patch of defenseless floor. It leaves a small sizzling dent in the metal, but this just angers Jerome more.

Seeing his chance to strike, cutest cutemon raises his arm-things and forms a ball of flickering ghostly energy between them, which he quickly launches in Jerome's direction. Jerome turns just in time for it to strike him in the midsection, the unstable energies eating away at the psychic power that sustains his lifeforce. Gasping in shock as an attack directly strikes him for the first time this battle, Jerome screws his eyes shut and waits... but nothing happens. When he opens them again, he looks down at his completely unchanged Azelf body, and his eyes widen in horror. What... what's happened to him? This was just supposed to be one of his tricks! Could this be... real?! Was he never FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY, but... the one true Azelf? No! FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY will not accept this! Desperate to vent his... her... mental anguish, FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY summons up another lightning strike from the ceiling, which hits true to this, and the defenseless Raticate squeals out in agony. cutest cutemon immediately sends another Shadow Ball her way, and FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY flails about in the air in despair, not understanding what's happening. She's not supposed to be so vulnerable to Ghost attacks! And now that strange light is enveloping her, and she's transforming again... WHY, GOD, WHY?!

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Keldeo (3/3 left)
Dunsparce
cutest cutemon ♂ @ Light Clay
Ability: Serene Grace
Health: 35%
Energy: 60%
Status: WHY CAN'T I JUST BE CUTE AGAIN ;;
Used: Pain Split @ Jerome ~ Shadow Ball @ Jerome ~ Shadow Ball @ Jerome

TruetoCheese (3/3 left)
Jynx
FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY ♀ @ Lucky Egg
Ability: Oblivious
Health: 6%
Energy: 45%
Status: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
Used: Swagger @ Louise ~ Thunder @ Louise (missed) ~ Thunder @ Louise

JackPK (3/3 left)
Venusaur
Louise
Ability: Overgrow
Health: 20%
Energy: 81%
Status: Chillin'. Overgrow activated. Moderately confused (20% failure chance). +2 Attack.
Used: Quick Attack + Wild Charge ~ Chill (clear head)

Arena Status
  • A Reflect surrounds cutest cutemon (3 more actions).
  • IT'S FREAKIN' RAINING ACID YOU GUYS, WHY ARE YOU HERE

Damage and Energy

  • cutest cutemon's Health: 28% + 17% (Pain Split) - 10% (acid rain) = 35%
  • cutest cutemon's Energy: 83% - 17% (Pain Split) - 3% (Shadow Ball) - 3% (Shadow Ball) = 60%
  • FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY's Health: 63% - 17% (Pain Split) - 15% (Shadow Ball) - 15% (Shadow Ball) - 10% (acid rain) = 6%
  • FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY's Substitute: 14% - 18% (Quick Attack + Wild Charge) = 0%
  • FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY's Energy: 69% - 4% (Swagger) - 8% (Thunder) - 8% (Thunder) = 45%
  • Louise's Health: 45% - 4% (recoil) - 11% (Thunder) - 10% (acid rain) = 20%
  • Louise's Energy: 87% - 8% (Quick Attack + Wild Charge) + 10% (Chill) = 81%

Notes
  • Speed order: FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY (95) > Louise (80) > cutest cutemon (45).
  • cutest cutemon evolved into a Dunsparce, FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY evolved into a Jynx, and Louise evolved into a Venusaur (and Overgrow immediately activated).
  • YOU GUYS ARE STILL NOT ON THE FRICKIN' ROOF. I ROLLED A 43. I AM IRKED.
  • Sorry, Jack, I didn't realize that you probably wanted me to confirm what Keldeo said about the Substitute's typing. She was correct.
  • Quick Attack + Wild Charge resulted in a 120 BP Electric-type move with +1 priority that dealt 25% recoil, rounded up. It destroyed FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY's Substitute. I can never remember whether recoil is based on damage actually dealt or the damage it should have dealt; I went with the former, but feel free to correct me if that's not the case.
  • Louise didn't actually Chill until the third action, but it was easier to write it in happening right after her combo.
  • TruetoCheese's commands were not clear on what FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY should do after Swagger actually hit, so I just went with Thunder on Louise those two actions.
  • FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY's Thunder on the second action missed thanks to weather accuracy shenanigans.
  • FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY's Illusion finally "broke" after being hit by that first Shadow Ball.
  • Chilling to clear her head helped reduce Louise's failure chance by an additional 10%.
  • cutest cutemon's Attack boost from Swagger and Louise's Speed reduction from Icy Wind both faded at the end of the round.
  • Keldeo commands first, followed by JackPK, and then TruetoCheese.
 
Don't worry, cutemon! I believe in your cuteness!!!

Shock Wave the FOX until the FOX is gone, then spam Blizzard at Louise. If the FOX Protects or is otherwise unhittable, use Blizzard on Louise until the FOX is hittable. If you're asleep, Snore whoever you can hit. If you're Tormented and can't use one of Shock Wave or Blizzard, switch to the other on the same target. If your target is the only target on the field and is protecting or otherwise unhittable, use Snore so you don't waste energy.

Shock Wave @ FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY / Blizzard @ Louise / Snore @ whoever x3
 
Louise, what is it with you evolving into things that can learn Bide? Do you just really want to use it? Too bad.

Well, Keldeo and I teamed up last time, so this time let's see if TTC is willing to team up!

If FOXTROT OSCAR X-RAY attacks cutemon on the first action, then you follow it up with Sleep Powder on cutemon, and get in close to take that Snore. That way, we have the whole round for all three of us to beat up on each other and maybe the acid rain will KO us all at once! (If FOXTROT doesn't attack cutemon, still hit cutemon with Sleep Powder so you don't get hit by that Blizzard, but try to stay as far out of the way so maybe you don't get targeted with Snore.)

If you and FOXTROT are cooperating, unleash a one-action Frenzy Plant on cutemon, then Giga Drain away what is hopefully the last of its health. If cutemon's already KO'ed by the last action, Giga Drain at FOXTROT instead.

If you and FOXTROT aren't cooperating, hit them both with Earthquake. If that KO'ed FOXTROT, then Giga Drain cutemon; if it didn't, use another Earthquake.

Sleep Powder @ cutemon ~ Frenzy Plant @ cutemon / Earthquake @ everybody ~ Giga Drain @ cutemon / Giga Drain @ FOXTROT / Earthquake @ everybody
 
Awww yeah Jack you are the bomb. We'll gladly co-operate with Louise, I mean we didn't hurt her when she was Biding her time, why would we betray her now. Regardless, welcome to the single digit jamboree, and unfortunately our dance partner is death itself. We'll open with a Drain Punch on cutemon so we actually survive the first action.

Then we're going to wait and let our good friend destroy the Dunsparce with Frenzy Plant. After that we're going to Ice Beam on Louise. If Louise misses the Frenzy Plant, we're going to Dream Eater on cutemon if he's asleep, and Drain Punch if he's not.

On the final action, if there is one, we're going to wait again for Louise to Giga Drain and KO cutemon, hopefully, then finish her off with an Ice Beam! If Giga Drain misses cutemon, then do not fret, because we have not revealed our hand to our comrade. Simply Dream Eater if cutemon is asleep, and Drain Punch if he isn't.

Drain Punch @ cutemon ~ Ice Beam @ Louise/Dream Eater @ cutemon/Drain Punch @ cutemon ~ Ice Beam @ Louise/Dream Eater @ cutemon/Drain Punch @ cutemon
 
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