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In Progress Destiny

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon, and the idea for the main character came from one of Butterfree's sprites.


A cold wind blew between the tall trees as the moon hung high and full in the sky. All was silent until a loud cry was heard. Deep in the forest, what was usually a peaceful process was going horribly wrong.
"Moon, what's happening to you?" exclaimed a worried creature of the night. Large red eyes widened at the one who spoke, but she could not answer back. Her jet-black fur was wet with sweat and blood and the rings on her fur were losing their yellow shine. Finally she found the strength to speak.
"Eclipse, I think something's wrong. The egg's not coming."
Suddenly Moon let out a shriek of pain as a limp body hit the ground with a thud. Moon and Eclipse looked at the limp creature.
"It, it can't be. It was supposed to be an egg. Not a full grown Umbreon."
"Moon, we must care for it. It is our child after all."
Moon nuzzled the baby, as blue stripes started glowing, indicating good health.
"She's the type that humans call...starry is it?"
"I would guess so."
The baby moved its head and blinked open bright blue eyes. They each let out a gasp at the unusual sight.
"River. Its name is River," said Moon solemnly.
Eclipse curled his body around his mate.
Thank you for keeping her alive, and also for a healthy child.
As if he had said it out loud, a small pink shape flew across the sky to where she was needed next. The pink creature knew she would return to this forest one day to help River fulfill what she was destined to do.


(Author's Note: Should this be counted as a Preface or a Prologue?)
 
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"Moon, what's happening to you," exclaimed a worried creature of the night.
That comma should be a ?, as commas are only used in place of periods in dialouge.


As far as the plot goes, it's something I don't encounter often, and will probably stay tuned for the rest.
 
For the question at the end, it should be counted as a prologue.

Other than that, this is great. The description is almost perfect, much unlike mine, where however much I put in, it always needs more. Keep up the good work!
 
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