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Lines you won't find in the Bible.

Bombsii

IM ON THE ROAD ON THE ROAD TO VIRIDIAN CITYYYY~
To be Continued.

Can you change it back to water mate, i'm driving.

About the author: God lives and works everywhere. He has one son, this is his first book.

Other religions available from this range:-

And they lived happily ever after the end.

You can get me off this damn cross now guys. Guys?

Any resemblence to any characters dead or alive is purely coincidental.

Jesus Jesus, give us a wave!
 
"This Dawkins dude is smart."

"Mum, Human Dad, I'm Gay."

"And the main road from Nazareth towards Bethlehem is at a standstill due to all the Christmas traffic..."

"And look out for the new sequel: The Qu'ran, coming soon to a religion near you."
 
We must stop Global Warming!

Although it does say, in effect, "Look after the Earth ... or else."

Anyhoo,...

"The ring must be destroyed!"

"And Enoch lived to be 365 years of age, and then God took him out with a Ferrari."

"And so, brothers, I beseech you to KILL ALL THE GAYS!!!"

"And the Egyptians whipped the Israelites with Cat Whips, available in a range of styles and sizes to suit your needs, and with our sale now on, hundreds of prices are lower than ever. Call 0800 269 9447 today."

"And God will come and fix the world's economies after the Credit Crunch."
 
"DEATH TO THE WEST!!!!!"

And the LORD did say unto the laws of physics, "F*** off"

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
 
And God said "Let there be light. Sponored by Powergen!"

And on the 7th day, God created a magical talking leopard, and forgot about us.

When we say that David was knocked off of his donkey by a rock, we do not say he was stoned off his ass.

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth; this is the wierdest car-boot sale I've ever been to.

He's not the messia, he's a very naughty boy!

Table for 12, Jesus? I can do two 6s at 8:30.

It rained for 40 days and 40 nights, although Thames water still had the hosepipe ban.

I could go on, but I wont.
 
creationism.jpg


And a picture that won't be featured at any Christian Church:

ssbbrawl-last-supper.jpg
 
And God said "Let there be light. Sponored by Powergen!"

And on the 7th day, God created a magical talking leopard, and forgot about us.

When we say that David was knocked off of his donkey by a rock, we do not say he was stoned off his ass.

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth; this is the wierdest car-boot sale I've ever been to.

He's not the messia, he's a very naughty boy!

Table for 12, Jesus? I can do two 6s at 8:30.

It rained for 40 days and 40 nights, although Thames water still had the hosepipe ban.

I could go on, but I wont.

Don't quote Mock the Week! That doesn't count.
 
And Gideon and his 300 men were able to use conservation of ninjitsu to kick ass

"Cut!"

On the sixth day God created the pokémon which crawl upon the face of the earth.

"THIS!! IS!! ZION!!!!"

"Now a major TV series."
 
"homosexuality is bad because it doesn't make babies!"

"XI) thou shalt not have sex before marriage, lest i damn your hedonistic souls to hell."

"XII) though i am willing to forgive thou for the above commandemente if thou did not use a condome."

"....SEX THAT DOESN'T MAKE BABIES = UNFORGIVABLE, SEX THAT DOES = ALRIGHT"


what's even more hilarious is that i'm actually christian. *prepares to be damned to hell*
 
And thus did Jesus recount to the twelve the story of the nativity, after which he said to them, "This means my birth. Remember this story on December 25th in remembrance of me, even though I wasn't born on that day and it also happens to be a pagan holiday."

Dobby: "Jesus Christ must not go back to Earth"

And Jesus appeared to the twelve, and spoke to them, and afterwards he took out a metal box with a grill lid, into which he did say, "Beam me up, Scotty," and he did disappear in a shimmer of holy blue light.

"It's over Satan, your evil plan will never succeed."

"Help me Jebus"

And upon the eight day God said, "Let the internet come to be, and let all the memes which exist within it come to be." And the internet came to be, and the memes came to be and were copied and continued according to their kinds.
 
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