The (un)Official Crazed Pokemon Theories Thread

This is basically a thread to post whatever crazed theories you have come up with about Pokemon.
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Slowpoke's Evolution and Survival Theory;
Slowpoke are dumb. That's a widely acknowledged fact. But if their so oblivious to their surroundings, then why in the name of Arceus and Mew would a Pokemon such as Slowoke not be extinct? The answer is really quite simple;

Slowpoke taste bad.

Yep. They secrete a horrible-tasting substance that is so rank, not even the promise of easy food would convince a even the most ravenous predator to eat one. Many a foolish soul have been duped into spending thousands of Pokèyen for an illegal Slowpoketail, only to find that their wonderful delicacy is actually a horrible piece of slop.

But what does this have to do with a Slowpoke's evolution, you ask?

Well, every young Pokemon lover knows that Slowpoke can evolve two different ways; Into the equally slow-witted Slowbro or the extremely rare Slowking. Every young Pokemon loveralso knows that either evolution requires a Shellder's bite.

But why do Shellder bite Slowpoke, if they taste so horrible?

There is something unusual about a normal, usually run-of-the-mill Shellder. Shellder are the only known species of Pokemon that actually enjoy the taste of a Slowpoke's body oils. This is the reason that Slowpoke get so many bites from Shellder.

But what does this have to with a Slowpoke evolving?

Why does a simple Shellder have the power to morph itself and it's slow-witted victim into a single, different Pokemon? Because of a Shellder's venom. Yes, Shellder have venom. A very mild venom, not nearly strong enough to harm any full-grown Pokèmon. But why does that matter?

The thing is, the chemical compound in a Shellder's venom reacts rather violently with the DNA of a Slowpoke when bitten, causing a change in both Pokèmon. In a case in which a Shellder bites a Slowpoke, the venom affects a Slowpoke's dormant evolution process, strengthening its legs or, in a Slowking's case, the brain cells. The evolution changes the very cells of a Slowpoke, and part of this process bonds the Shellder to the Slowpoke's tail or head. Thus, the idea of removing the Shellder from the Slowbro or Slowking to de-evolve it is not only just a myth, but also akin to removing someones arm, not a hat.

Uh, hate to break it to you, but Slowpoke Tails secrete a sweet taste. Thats why Team Rocket cut them off and yes, why Shellder bite down.

^Amened.

However, it could be that only humans enjoy the taste...

Pokemon are a figment of our imagination. In reality, we are the Pokemon.

Maybe only the tail tastes good, and only humans and the Shellder know that. The rest could taste horrible, and the predators might just assume that the tail does too.

The shell isn't a Shellder at all, as you can see by... well, looking at it. Since Shellders have no teeth and are most likely filter-feeders, they wouldn't be capable of biting anything and really would have no reason to. What attaches to a Slowpoke's tail is actually some other kind of parasitic, tail-biting Pokémon which scientists just haven't discovered yet. Maybe it uses empty Shellder shells as camouflage/shelter, causing the occasional sightings of a Slowpoke being bitten by what appears to be a Shellder...

(Yes, it is a Shellder in the anime... but the anime is a strange and distorted alternate universe where a Nidoqueen is able to lay eggs, and on top of that, those eggs hatch into miniature Nidoqueens. And all Ground-type Pokémon are required to flip a coin right after they wake up in the morning--heads, they're immune to Electric attacks that day; tails, they get 1-hit-KO'ed by them. And if the coin lands on its edge and doesn't fall, then they're immune to electricity unless it hits their horn.)

I still will always believe that arceus made the prehistoric pokemon (kabuto, omastar, Kabutops etc.) they failed so he wiped them out and made mew to make the "new" pokemon species. Mew created all the other pokemon.

electabuzz don't actually eat electricity but rather they give the illusion they do because their fangs are a special material that acts like a conductor and draws electricity inwards

dusknoir are constantly tricked into killing people and bringing them to a place that - with the help of graphic technology - looks like the world of spirits, i mean how can you get radio waves from spirits? o_O

shedinja are actually just over-protective mothers that can sense when their nincada evolves against their orders, then they move into an empty space in your party where they can keep an eye on them

doduo and dodrio are part flying type and can learn FLY because they run so fast they leave the ground

nidoguys and nidogals are evolutionarily related because they are sprung from a pokemon like burmy, if it's a male, it goes one way, and a female it goes the other

glaceon/leafeon evolve because of the ice/moss rock, which means any small chippings from them become the Shard/Moss Stone

thats all i got at the mo :)

nidoguys and nidogals are evolutionarily related because they are sprung from a pokemon like burmy, if it's a male, it goes one way, and a female it goes the other

Click to expand...

I'm pretty sure that the male and female Nidorans would never have been counted as different Pokémon if genders and visible gender differences had existed back in the first-generation games. They'd just be a single Pokémon called Nidoran with an appearance and stats/moves that were dependent on which gender they were (a bit like how the different forms of Wormadam have different types, moves, etc. even though they all count as the same species.)

Probably the same way with Nidorino/Nidorina, though I'm guessing Nidoking/Nidoqueen would still be a "split species" even if there were genders in R/B/Y.