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Terry's PMD2 Songs (told to put here)

Terry. T.

Terry. T.

Banned
I was told to put these songs here, and they're from a PMD2 musical.

Song 1-I'm a Pokemon?
W...What happened,
All this time and it had to affect me?
I don't know where I am,
But there's one thing I'm sure,
I'll get back some way!
(x2)

Song 2-Yeah Right!
Koffing, you are foul,
You have no sense what happened to me...
I have the sprit though,
To get back home!

Zubat, you are mean,
You have no sense what happened to me,
I have the sprit though,
To get back home.

More coming soon!
 
The idea has potential but the problem is your execution. The songs aren't terribly witty or pleasant to the ear (I tried to figure out a tune to put the words to but failed). The songs are also too short and they simply repeating the first verse or even changing some words slightly. The thing to musicals is that they have to express a feeling and situation in a moving and interesting manner.

The idea has definite potential, like I said, but the way you've done it isn't particularly good. These need some serious, serious work if they're ever going to be good or even mediocre.
 
I just have one comment. Okay, two. One, the word "sprit" is spelt wrong; it should be "spirit". ^^ And two, interesting idea. =D It's not often you see something like this.
 
It's a good idea, actually: pretty creative.

I'd suggest making them longer; most songs in a musical are at least- on second thought maybe one or two short ones would be okay.

I was going to suggest having my muscial-genius-of-a-music teacher, but after seeing the last thing he comosed for us...that would be a bad idea. :P
 
...100?!?
I think that's a bit too many. I'd say twenty at the most. (unless it's an opraic musical such as Phantom of the Opera, in which case you can do as you wish.)
 
...
...
... :D
Terry is thinking outside of the box. Yay.

This is a quite interesting idea, actually. However I agree with Harlequin that you need to make the songs a bit more interesting.
 
Again, 100=200 lines. Or 300. Or even 1000!

New song:
Song 3-Beach Cave
Bea-Bea-Bea-Beach Cave!
Bea-Bea-Bea-Beach Cave!
This is what we want,
This is what we need!

The two ba-ad guys!
The two ba-ad guys!
You will have defeat,
And we will keep up!

Now we will fight on!
Now we will fight on!
Trea-As-Ure's at stake,
We will beat those two!
 
Terry. T. said:
Again, 100=200 lines. Or 300. Or even 1000!

New song:
Song 3-Beach Cave
Bea-Bea-Bea-Beach Cave!
Bea-Bea-Bea-Beach Cave!
This is what we want,
This is what we need!

The two ba-ad guys!
The two ba-ad guys!
You will have defeat,
And we will keep up!

Now we will fight on!
Now we will fight on!
Trea-As-Ure's at stake,
We will beat those two!
Click to expand...

Hrr, this an interesting idea. I'm quite fond of it, actually.

Uh, do you have any melodies to accompany these lyrics? Uh, I'd be interested in listening to it, if so.

As for the lyrics, there's something that's lacking in them. I'm not expert on music, but the amount of lines in your songs seem really short. Uh, and they're sort of hard to follow, too. Instead of aiming on getting one hundred-some songs finished, try doing your absolute best on a song, no matter how long it takes. Try making the song at least a minute long, and avoid from having too many refrains, because they'll get extremely annoying quickly. For the lyrics, uh, would you mind trying to elaborate on the emotions of the protangist. Would they be confused, or not think coherently? What's their opinion of the parnter? Is the progantist leering on helping the parnter? What about those two (Koffing and Zubat), anything about their actions you could write about? There's a bunch of things that could be expanded upon in this song. I believe music is supposed to be a way of expressing someone's thoughts and feelings. Overall this is a great idea that needs a bit of work. Good luck on finishing it :D
 
You have exactly the same problems as I said before. The songs aren't long enough and they don't flow well. There's nothing to make me want to hear them again. You really need to make them longer and give them some sort of cadence. They're just not very nice at the moment.

The idea is a good one and has potential but you're not carrying it out very well. You need to think about what I've said and go back and make changes. I'm trying to help you here. What you've got is a good idea but you need to make the songs longer and give them some sort of rhythm.

Bullet points:


  1. Longer songs
  2. Better lyrics
  3. Lyrics that flow well and sound nice
 
To be fairly honest, for you this is a relatively good idea.

I believe, as Harlequin as previously stated, the songs do need to be longer and the lyrics do need to flow well. Unfortunately, I believe your problem could be that you don't have much understanding of musical cadences, chord sequences and how to compose a piece of music. Then again, who can blame you there? You are only 10.

Re-read your songs. To me, most of them sound like they should be a chant rather than a song and I am having difficulties fitting some of the lines into four bar phrases without having a strange, sudden jump in the rhythm, which if the song were in reality, sung to backing music, woukd sound very, very strange.
 
Espeon said:
To be fairly honest, for you this is a relatively good idea.

I believe, as Harlequin as previously stated, the songs do need to be longer and the lyrics do need to flow well. Unfortunately, I believe your problem could be that you don't have much understanding of musical cadences, chord sequences and how to compose a piece of music. Then again, who can blame you there? You are only 10.

Re-read your songs. To me, most of them sound like they should be a chant rather than a song and I am having difficulties fitting some of the lines into four bar phrases without having a strange, sudden jump in the rhythm, which if the song were in reality, sung to backing music, woukd sound very, very strange.
Click to expand...


It doesn't have to be in four bar phrases. It could be in Multi-meter too. And don't say Chant isn't music. If you study Gregorian Chant, you'll be amazed at how complex it is.

Flora and Ashes said:
...100?!?
I think that's a bit too many. I'd say twenty at the most. (unless it's an opraic musical such as Phantom of the Opera, in which case you can do as you wish.)
Click to expand...

Are you kidding? Real opera and opera styled music is incredibly structured.

And the sentences don't necessarily have to be sung in a traditional music style. Listen to Bjork for example.
 
I mean more like a football chant. Or possibly something you'd yell whilst you were hiking with the boy-scouts. Not Georgian chants. I wasn't intending to imply that a chant wasn't music. More along the lines of "I don't think a chant is really what you're aiming for, is it?" kind of thing.
 
Okay, to begin with, I know little to nothing about song lyrics but... So far, basically everything is too short and choppy. They don't flow. But some of them would sound okay put together as a chant-type thing if you added more to them. To clarify, maybe that last part would sound more like this..?
Zubat, why are you so mean?
Do you have any clue what happened to me?
I don't care what you do or say
I'll still have the spirit to get home someday.
Yes, I realize that those lyrics sound terrible. But you could try making yours sound something like that, as in like some form of boy scout-esque chant, but still. Keep trying though, this is a really original idea.
 
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