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ANOTHER AWESOME MS PAINT ADVENTURE (awesome title pending)

Not Meowth

Cat, are you drilling?
Psymon's was taking too long to leave that bloody room, and I wanted to see what it'd be like to jump on other people's bandwagons for a change :3
Besides, this is much more closely inspired by The Attackening: Revengeance, so while the "type suggestions and I draw them" (but not necessarily just one) aspect remains, it also has RPG-ish elements such as battles, items, party members, and Highly Collectible Porcelain Ducks. It also means that while incessant randomness is welcome (and indeed encouraged), we also need to keep a plot going.
Anyway, let's see how this goes.

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This is you. You are Mike (and totally not a shameless self insert or anything).

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Currently, you are in your wobblily-drawn BEDROOM. You are facing the DOOR. Behind you, there in a WARDROBE, and in the foreground there is a BED with THREE FASCINATING OBJECTS on it.
 
Retrieve ARMS-Oh wait nevermind.

Collect the FASCINATING OBJECT closest to the DOOR. Looks like a WALLET, which may be useful later.
 
Somehow obtain Ursaring claws, and then swim to the Arctic.
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But... you already did that last week. Where are you going to get Ursaring claws at such short notice anyway?

Retrieve ARMS-Oh wait nevermind.

Collect the FASCINATING OBJECT closest to the DOOR. Looks like a WALLET, which may be useful later.

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It is indeed a WALLET. You put it in your Inventory for safekeeping.

Look at your Wii and check what game is in it.

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On checking your WII, you discover it to contain no DISC. You really need to get back into playing it.

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However, a COOKIE rolls out of the disc slot. Wondering how it got there, you stow it in your Inventory:

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(From now on characters' status charts are available on request.)

Look in WARDROBE

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You find the Sword of Infinity! The ultimate weapon in this MSPA, the Sword of Infinity boosts all stats by 100,000 and looks cool as hell compared to the other crappy weapons you use. In fact it's totally badass all round apart from its corny name, slapped together at the last minute by a lazy author/command-interpreter dude.
Sadly, you can't equip it til Level 9001. Put it back for now.
 
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Find a BOOK so you can level up your pitiful smarthood. Make sure the BOOK is about, uh I dunno, Ursaring-claws swimming or something.
 
Find a BOOK so you can level up your pitiful smarthood. Make sure the BOOK is about, uh I dunno, Ursaring-claws swimming or something.

Stat increases aren't as simple as that, silly. Plus if you had such a book you'd be in the Arctic by now.

Examine your wallet for any MONEY.

Then, walk out the door.

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Your WALLET contains £7 and a MOTH.
You add MOTH to your inventory. You then leave the room, abandoning Fascinating Objects 2 and 3 on the bed.

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You are now in the HALLWAY. To the west is the LIVING ROOM. North is the KITCHEN, and to the east is the FRONT DOOR. There's also the BATHROOM but you can't go in there because it's boring.
 
Damnit. Why does fiction have to make sense ;-;

Go into the KITCHEN and eat a PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH while dancing to the matching song.
 
I demand you go back to your room and them look at the fantastic objects 2 and 3. Then put them into your inventory, if possible.
 
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