Sapphiron
used Bat Credit Card!
Long time no see, TCoD.
If you are not a fan or trainer fics at all, then this may or may not be your story. I dunno whether or not this would be considered a conventional trainer fic. All I know is that there could be more people to review my writing here than on Fanfiction.net.
Since I actually started writing this over a month ago, I already have two chapters, so enjoy the double feature.
The fic is also on Fanfiction.net if you go there. [Linxorz]
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Chapter 1: Mewtwo is the New Gengar?
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We cut to our first location: a group of floating trees in the afternoon sky. Each one seems to be floating in the gentle breeze wile a blue aura surrounds them.
…Wait, what?
Suddenly, the trees begin to barrel downward like a group of missiles. They quickly struck the ground, forming a cloud of dirt around the collision. As the dust cloud faded, an incapacitated Haunter was revealed under the wreckage of trees. The ruins were approached by a white bipedal cat-like creature with a strange, wiry body structure. Its eyes and body glowed with blue psychic energy as it stood triumphantly over its victim.
The powerful Psychic-type was approached from behind by a young trainer that looked like he had just recently started on his journey, with a backwards hat to boot. “I am so awesome! There’s no way the Elite Four could defeat this” he gloated as his OMG SO ULTRA AWESUM sunglasses reflected the shining sun. He then recalled his Mewtwo, reducing it to a white orb that flew back to the Master Ball, and then left before his opponent could respond.
“…Seriously? How in the name of Arceus is that even possible?” His opponent was absolutely shocked by what just happened. She was locked in a kneeling pose of supplication as the front bang of her hair hung downward and her black eyes retained a shocked expression. The girl was about the same age as her opponent. And here’s a link to her outfit:
Okay, I’m not going to take that route. I’ll get to talking about her appearance.
“Oh, wait” her shocked face was immediately switched with a more annoyed expression, “Mewtwo is infamous for being able to lift more with its psychic powers than any other Pokemon of its type. But how it got into the hands of a noob is beyond me. Well, might as well regroup with one of the others and leave this out-of-place event behind” she concluded. She tightened and tucked in the laces in her blue-and-white sneakers, then stood back up and fixed the ponytail in her slightly-blue black hair. She recalled her Haunter with its matching Great Ball, it became a beam of light, yadda yadda yadda. Once she was done, she started to head south on Route 103. However, she was stopped by the appearance of an approaching trainer.
“So, Patty… How was it?” The newcomer questioned. This new trainer was also around her age, as well as at roughly the same height as her, if not a bit shorter. Patricia briefly sighed and answered, “It sucked. That noobish kid cheated and walked all over me.” “Looks like both of us lost” he responded, “you know that older girl that you watched me battle before you were challenged by that other boy?” “Yeah, what about her?” “She’s… kinda weird. She was like, ‘Wow, you are as weak as you look! No wonder you’re so huggably okay’ or something like that, but she pronounced the O like a U for some reason.”
“Probably a foreign accent or a speech impediment” Patricia assumed. She then asked, “Alright. Skylar, what Pokemon was she using?” “Hm,” the recently-named trainer answered, “she had a Jolteon that walked around with her the whole time, and then she fought me using a big orange bird with green and yellow feathers. She was able to sweep five of my Pokemon before I decided to surrender-“
“Ho-oh!” Patricia interjected in a surprised tone. Skylar was puzzled by her sudden outburst. “Anyways, that bird’s a legendary Pokemon known as Ho-oh, and there’s no way a regular girl like that could have seriously captured a legendary that rare. Same goes for that kid I just lost to. He somehow had a Mewtwo on him. Oh, and don’t forget that girl from yesterday that had a Shaymin.”
“Derrick’s expecting us to meet up with him at the Pokemon Center back at Oldale, so let’s get moving” Skylar stated, “we can talk to him about it, too. Maybe he knows something about this, but he probably won’t.” Skylar shrugged, and then the two trainers started on their journey back to civilization.
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The time of day was now early sunset. Outside of Oldale Town’s Pokemon Center was a young man that appeared to be in his late teens. There wasn’t much of a breeze, nor was his silver fauxhawk the right type of hair, so I can’t do that whole “his [blank that would normally have adjectives in it] hair flowed in the breeze” thing that some characters’ hair do even if there’s no wind in the location. He was soon joined by the only two other characters named in this story so far.
He proceeded to ask, “So, how was it?” “It wasn’t so much bad as it was suspicious” Patricia replied, “We ran into two more of those legendary Pokemon that are for some reason harnessed by trainers.” “Like that Shaymin?” “Correct.” “Guys, we don’t know who’s talking” Skylar interrupted. “It should be obvious” Patricia and Derrick replied in unison, each gave him a perturbed glance and continued their conversation. “Anyways, this whole thing is messed up” Patricia stated, “but for now, let’s go have Nurse Joy Clone #9022 heal our Pokemon.” This time, it was Skylar giving Patricia a weird look. “Seriously, I doubt they’re really clones” he argued. “And what excuse do you have to back that up” Patricia retorted, “I’d get into a flame war about that with you, but we have a plot to advance.”
The trio entered through the sliding glass doors of the Pokemon Center. Patricia marched ahead with a smug expression featuring closed eyes. Inside were two groups of people: on the left were varied trainers of all types, ranging from little girls that probably aren’t even supposed to be on a region-wide journey yet to teenaged boys that may have been trainers long enough to circle Hoenn multiple times by now. On the other side was a small crowd of females. Unlike the other group, they all seemed to be teenagers.
The party approached the front desk, and Patricia immediately opened her eyes only to notice a vacant front desk. “Where the hell is that lazy clone? Genetic experiments don’t take breaks!” Skylar sighed and then called out to the other people in the Pokemon Center. “Do any of you guys know where Nurse Joy went? …Anyone?” The crowd was silent for a moment before responding with a unanimous stream of nos. The crowd on the right then changed their conversation and also pointed at the group a few times when referring to them.
Suddenly, a random phrase wandered into Derrick’s ear. “My Mew could kick your Rayquaza’s ass!” The phrase echoed in his mind for a second as he compared it to what Skylar and Patricia were talking to him about earlier. He then had a sudden idea that he shared with his comrades by grabbing them by the shoulders and shaking them vigorously while shouting, “Oh [expletive]! Those guys are in on this legendary Pokemon conspiracy too!” Once he was done, his friends gave him a pair of puzzled expressions while everyone else in the room gave him a medley of dour faces. He then shrugged and responded, “What? I can’t start a panic without everyone just looking at me weird-“
“Yes! It was all us! And we’d all do it again! Ahahahaha!” One of the younger, more naïve trainers on the left side of the room made the sudden outburst, only to be summarily pummeled by an older boy. “Don’t talk about that [expletive] here! I’m not gonna have any of your plan-revealing [expletive]!” Yes, some of the characters are potty-mouths.
At that moment, one of the people in the left crowd tossed out two of the Poke Balls of the person sitting right next to him and immediately strolled out of the Pokemon Center. Each Poke Ball created an intense burst of white light surrounded by a bluish-white aura. One of the lights began to take on a serpentine shape. Golden spikes began to protrude from the sides of the glowing snake, along with six otherworldly tentacle-like spikes. Its masked face reached upward, close to the ceiling of the Pokemon Center’s main lobby. The other wisp of light took on the shape of a tall humanoid creature. Three spikes emerged from its head, along with spike-like legs and four tentacle arms. The light faded to reveal the identity of the two Pokemon, and Skylar made a comment as the Pokemon revealed themselves.
“… Are you sure it’s too late for us to join you?” Patricia and Derrick summarily smacked their friend upside the head, causing him to retort, “What? I was gonna betray them afterward.”
The Pokemon revealed themselves to be the space virus Deoxys in its Attack Form and Giratina, the beast from the Distortion World, with a Griseous Orb on its person. The massive ghostly dragon opened its mask and let out a screech that loosely resembled a human scream. The otherworldly serpent then, with a single swipe of its tail, knocked the trio down the escalator that led to the basement of the Pokemon Center, while a newly-summoned Mewtwo blocked off the way back up with a Reflect.
“Dammit, it won’t fade ‘till five turns later” Patricia snarled, “and from the looks of turn-based strategy games and Shonen Animes about them, five turns could be an eternity.” “Shut up and get your game on” Derrick retorted, “and by ‘get your game on,’ I mean ‘start thinking for me while I just stand back and look dumb- I mean, lazy- I mean, awesome.’” I apologize to the Yugioh fanbase for that one. Patricia continued, “Anyone got Brick Break?” “No” both of them replied, and then Skylar commented, pointing up to the Pokemon Center’s lobby, “but at least they’re fighting against each other up there and not us.”
“What the hell is wrong with you” One of the girls from the right side cut in, “you don’t just trash lovers like those with the swipe of a Giratina tail!”
Hearing that, the protagonist trio quickly glanced at each other. All three of them then said, “I’m not in love with Patricia/you two.”
“It’ll make us miss out on the inevitable romance between them!” The girl unleashed her Ho-oh from its Repeat Ball, summoning the rainbow phoenix to the field. Accompanying the Ho-oh were a Mew, Latias, and Darkrai. The crowd then chanted, “You dare to interfere with our original true pairing?! You must die! Die for our ship!”
“I could say the same” retorted the leader of the other group, “well, except for the part about a boat. Prepare to get massacred, [two word expletive]s!”
All the trainers from both sides began to call out their Pokemon until the lobby began to fall apart due to the sheer number of large Pokemon being housed within it. Since battling in such a cramped room would be impossible, all the Psychic-type Pokemon in the crowd let loose their psychic energy, causing the entire first and second floor of the Pokemon Center to fly away in the form of a thousand rocky, metallic shards. The shards flew out in all directions, striking and damaging the neighboring buildings and trees.
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Once the Pokemon were no longer constrained by space, and all-out war ensued. Creatures of legend were exchanging blows with other mythical beasts. Intense special attacks and ravaging physical attacks were delivered by every combatant. Some trainers and Pokemon healed and revitalized their Pokemon, meaning that this battle could very well go on for months, even years. Heavy property damage ensued. Newbie trainers just arriving at Oldale and veterans returning to this humble town were dumbfounded by the very presence of such a battle. Some even fainted due to the sheer epic-ness of the chaos.
Meanwhile, there were still three bystanders sealed away from the battle, stunned by the never-ending flurry of mystic projectiles. They noticed that the Reflect screen was fading and a Fire Blast was headed straight for them, so they fled downstairs to avoid the fiery missile. “This is just great” Patricia grumbled, “a massive action scene, and we’re forced to just react to it. Why can’t we be the ones dominating enemies out there? Any second now, a Hyper Beam will make a hole through the ceiling-“ Patricia was immediately interrupted by a beam of light tearing through the ceiling. She continued, “and then… we’ll get a hefty bag of Pokedollars.” At that moment, a Mew flew through the hole in the ceiling carrying a sack in its hands with a rectangular bulge on the inside and the obligatory Pokedollar symbol featured on the front. It let down the bag in Patricia’s hands and flew back into the battle. “Well that was nice of fate to give us a lot of money in case we survive” Patricia commented. At that moment, the sack of money exploded in her face, knocking her back onto her… back and leaving a layer of black soot covering her face. “Haha, Mew just kicked your ass” Derrick taunted. Once Patricia shook off the soot and stood back up, she gave off a furious glare. “[Expletive] you, Mew!” “Come on, that was just a cartoony injury” Skylar retorted, “nothing to use an M-rated swear word over.” As Patricia groaned at her friends’ comments, Skylar remembered something on him. He checked one of the pockets of his black cargo shorts for something. What was inside appeared to be the number for a hotline of some sort. It read:
“1-000-RIGHTEOUSNESS. For whenever you need a bit of divine intervention.”
“Hey Patricia” Skylar requested, “can I borrow your cell phone?” “What for?” “I think this could help us. Somehow…” Skylar immediately showed her the number and Patricia reached into the pocket of her asymmetrical jeans and threw her phone to him. Skylar frantically dialed the number using the number and letter slots on Patricia’s phone. Once he finished dialing, he awaited a response. As the phone rang, a blast of Sacred Fire created an even bigger hole in the ceiling.
A person on the other end picked up the phone and asked, “Hello, this is the Hand of Righteousness Emergency Hotline. What problems do you have that need to be smited?” “This may sound hard to believe” Skylar responded, “but there’s a war of like a thousand legendary Pokemon right above us at the Oldale Pokemon Center-“ “We’re on it. We’ll be at the scene right away” the unknown person replied, and then proceeded to immediately hang up afterwards. This made Patricia wonder: “Uh… where exactly did you find that number?” “Well” Skylar returned, “I found it on a random park bench when we were in Rustboro. It seemed mysterious enough, so I decided to pick it up. Maybe it’s a way to contact Arceus or something. All I know is that they sound like they could handle this.”
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Back on the surface, a number of portals began to appear. Through these gates, a number of agents dressed in white suits with blue ties emerged, carrying numerous unidentified devices. They immediately began to circle the raging battle, and then they prepared their weapons. Once they were ready, they all fired beams of light toward the battle zone. The beams struck many of the Pokemon in battle, causing them to dissolve.
As more legendary Pokemon faded, the main group approached the hole in the ceiling and noticed what was occurring. However, the beams were so blinding that Patricia and Derrick were forced to avert their gaze while Skylar had to reposition the black Go-Goggles around his neck so that the yellow lenses were covering his eyes. But even then, the light’s intensity forced him to look away.
After a few moments had passed, the mission was complete. Both the light and violence had come to a halt, so the three trainers finally returned to the surface while the Oldale City Nurse Joy was still bound and gagged behind the corner of the escalator. Once our protagonists resurfaced, the sky was orange, and the sun was lower than earlier. The Uber-handling trainers were now being apprehended by the men in white suits. Skylar, Patricia, and Derrick were quickly confronted by three of them. “So, were you the ones who called?” one of the men assumed. “Yeah. Thanks for getting them out of our lives” Derrick replied.
“No, thank you” the man retorted, “for helping us destroy these legendary Pokemon counterfeiters. Sounds really crazy, but it’s all too real… We want you to come with us to join our organization.” The group considered the offer… for all of a millisecond before Skylar returned, “Sorry, but we have a normal journey to continue on.” “No, I insist” he… insisted, “You really should join us.” “Hate to break it to ‘ya” Derrick retorted, “But you guys seem kinda weird.” “Yup, something about you guys rubs me in the wrong way. You look like the opposite of those government agents you see in the movies” Patricia added.
“Nothing’s ‘creepy’ about us. We are the hope for fixing the Pokemon world, so it is our responsibility to deal with the criminals that the Officer Jenny clones-I mean, police can’t handle.” “See?” Patricia retorted, much to Skylar’s chagrin, “I told you there was a conspiracy behind the identical Joys and Jennies.” “Right… No offense or anything, but we’re not quite ready to become full-time super amazing specialriffic heroes just yet” Skylar concluded, followed by Derrick’s quip. “I take offense.” “Shut up. Anyways, good luck with your whole superhero organization mission thingy.” The group turned around and finally began to start on their way back to Mauville.
“You have made the incorrect choice.”
The trio immediately turned around, startled by a sudden statement, even more adamant than anything he had said before, coming from the white-suited enforcer. “Those who don’t take the Wings of Righteousness seriously are prime targets of evil’s influence.” The well-dressed crusader continued, “Go on. Leave. But know well that you will become part of the shadows that we must purge from this corrupted land unless you reconsider quickly.” All three trainers gave him a perturbed glance and continued on their way.
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After the whole uber incident, we find… Derrick punching a cardboard cutout that fell down so easily, it was as if simply flicking it would do the exact same thing. He then crouched down and tore the cutout of some nondescript person into two uneven halves while his comrades stood and gazed at him as if he were deranged. He then snarled, “Those jackasses are going to pay for kicking our asses and shoving us into a basement for our big debut.” “So…” Skylar retorted, “Your method of relieving that stress is through property damage? I’m pretty sure that’s someone else’s cardboard.” “Shut up” Derrick growled, “The first chapter of a story is supposed to establish how badass the characters are, or at least how badass one character is. Like a certain character that I kinda know about.” “Ooh, was it me?” Patricia interrupted. “Don’t mention that story you posed online, PLEASE” Skylar moaned, covering his face with a facepalm, “I couldn’t get past that one part with at guy… and the Teddiursas… and the chainsaw murderers…” “Oh, that reminds me” Derrick added, “I’ve heard that around this time of year, starting tonight…”
“…They lurk on Route 203.”
Skylar’s sanity summarily shattered with that statement. His eyes shrank to a third of their original size, his skin’s complexion suddenly seemed a bit paler than usual, a cold sweat of fear trickled down the back of his neck, and he could have sworn that his legs were suddenly made of jelly, but I don’t seem to notice any additional squishiness or transparency in his legs. In fact, this whole paragraph is probably a carbon-copy of twenty other descriptions of fear.
Anywho, time for the heroic-sounding conclusion! Who in the name of Arceus were those people back in the Pokemon Center? Why so spontaneously fighting? Is anyone actually going to stop them from counterfeiting Legendary Pokemon, however that works? And who were those dashing, heroic men in white? Find out next time on-
“Glomp!” Turns out a girl just leaped at Skylar in what seems to be a mix between a hug and a tackle. Way to ruin the ending, woman.
If you are not a fan or trainer fics at all, then this may or may not be your story. I dunno whether or not this would be considered a conventional trainer fic. All I know is that there could be more people to review my writing here than on Fanfiction.net.
Since I actually started writing this over a month ago, I already have two chapters, so enjoy the double feature.
The fic is also on Fanfiction.net if you go there. [Linxorz]
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Chapter 1: Mewtwo is the New Gengar?
------
We cut to our first location: a group of floating trees in the afternoon sky. Each one seems to be floating in the gentle breeze wile a blue aura surrounds them.
…Wait, what?
Suddenly, the trees begin to barrel downward like a group of missiles. They quickly struck the ground, forming a cloud of dirt around the collision. As the dust cloud faded, an incapacitated Haunter was revealed under the wreckage of trees. The ruins were approached by a white bipedal cat-like creature with a strange, wiry body structure. Its eyes and body glowed with blue psychic energy as it stood triumphantly over its victim.
The powerful Psychic-type was approached from behind by a young trainer that looked like he had just recently started on his journey, with a backwards hat to boot. “I am so awesome! There’s no way the Elite Four could defeat this” he gloated as his OMG SO ULTRA AWESUM sunglasses reflected the shining sun. He then recalled his Mewtwo, reducing it to a white orb that flew back to the Master Ball, and then left before his opponent could respond.
“…Seriously? How in the name of Arceus is that even possible?” His opponent was absolutely shocked by what just happened. She was locked in a kneeling pose of supplication as the front bang of her hair hung downward and her black eyes retained a shocked expression. The girl was about the same age as her opponent. And here’s a link to her outfit:
Okay, I’m not going to take that route. I’ll get to talking about her appearance.
“Oh, wait” her shocked face was immediately switched with a more annoyed expression, “Mewtwo is infamous for being able to lift more with its psychic powers than any other Pokemon of its type. But how it got into the hands of a noob is beyond me. Well, might as well regroup with one of the others and leave this out-of-place event behind” she concluded. She tightened and tucked in the laces in her blue-and-white sneakers, then stood back up and fixed the ponytail in her slightly-blue black hair. She recalled her Haunter with its matching Great Ball, it became a beam of light, yadda yadda yadda. Once she was done, she started to head south on Route 103. However, she was stopped by the appearance of an approaching trainer.
“So, Patty… How was it?” The newcomer questioned. This new trainer was also around her age, as well as at roughly the same height as her, if not a bit shorter. Patricia briefly sighed and answered, “It sucked. That noobish kid cheated and walked all over me.” “Looks like both of us lost” he responded, “you know that older girl that you watched me battle before you were challenged by that other boy?” “Yeah, what about her?” “She’s… kinda weird. She was like, ‘Wow, you are as weak as you look! No wonder you’re so huggably okay’ or something like that, but she pronounced the O like a U for some reason.”
“Probably a foreign accent or a speech impediment” Patricia assumed. She then asked, “Alright. Skylar, what Pokemon was she using?” “Hm,” the recently-named trainer answered, “she had a Jolteon that walked around with her the whole time, and then she fought me using a big orange bird with green and yellow feathers. She was able to sweep five of my Pokemon before I decided to surrender-“
“Ho-oh!” Patricia interjected in a surprised tone. Skylar was puzzled by her sudden outburst. “Anyways, that bird’s a legendary Pokemon known as Ho-oh, and there’s no way a regular girl like that could have seriously captured a legendary that rare. Same goes for that kid I just lost to. He somehow had a Mewtwo on him. Oh, and don’t forget that girl from yesterday that had a Shaymin.”
“Derrick’s expecting us to meet up with him at the Pokemon Center back at Oldale, so let’s get moving” Skylar stated, “we can talk to him about it, too. Maybe he knows something about this, but he probably won’t.” Skylar shrugged, and then the two trainers started on their journey back to civilization.
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The time of day was now early sunset. Outside of Oldale Town’s Pokemon Center was a young man that appeared to be in his late teens. There wasn’t much of a breeze, nor was his silver fauxhawk the right type of hair, so I can’t do that whole “his [blank that would normally have adjectives in it] hair flowed in the breeze” thing that some characters’ hair do even if there’s no wind in the location. He was soon joined by the only two other characters named in this story so far.
He proceeded to ask, “So, how was it?” “It wasn’t so much bad as it was suspicious” Patricia replied, “We ran into two more of those legendary Pokemon that are for some reason harnessed by trainers.” “Like that Shaymin?” “Correct.” “Guys, we don’t know who’s talking” Skylar interrupted. “It should be obvious” Patricia and Derrick replied in unison, each gave him a perturbed glance and continued their conversation. “Anyways, this whole thing is messed up” Patricia stated, “but for now, let’s go have Nurse Joy Clone #9022 heal our Pokemon.” This time, it was Skylar giving Patricia a weird look. “Seriously, I doubt they’re really clones” he argued. “And what excuse do you have to back that up” Patricia retorted, “I’d get into a flame war about that with you, but we have a plot to advance.”
The trio entered through the sliding glass doors of the Pokemon Center. Patricia marched ahead with a smug expression featuring closed eyes. Inside were two groups of people: on the left were varied trainers of all types, ranging from little girls that probably aren’t even supposed to be on a region-wide journey yet to teenaged boys that may have been trainers long enough to circle Hoenn multiple times by now. On the other side was a small crowd of females. Unlike the other group, they all seemed to be teenagers.
The party approached the front desk, and Patricia immediately opened her eyes only to notice a vacant front desk. “Where the hell is that lazy clone? Genetic experiments don’t take breaks!” Skylar sighed and then called out to the other people in the Pokemon Center. “Do any of you guys know where Nurse Joy went? …Anyone?” The crowd was silent for a moment before responding with a unanimous stream of nos. The crowd on the right then changed their conversation and also pointed at the group a few times when referring to them.
Suddenly, a random phrase wandered into Derrick’s ear. “My Mew could kick your Rayquaza’s ass!” The phrase echoed in his mind for a second as he compared it to what Skylar and Patricia were talking to him about earlier. He then had a sudden idea that he shared with his comrades by grabbing them by the shoulders and shaking them vigorously while shouting, “Oh [expletive]! Those guys are in on this legendary Pokemon conspiracy too!” Once he was done, his friends gave him a pair of puzzled expressions while everyone else in the room gave him a medley of dour faces. He then shrugged and responded, “What? I can’t start a panic without everyone just looking at me weird-“
“Yes! It was all us! And we’d all do it again! Ahahahaha!” One of the younger, more naïve trainers on the left side of the room made the sudden outburst, only to be summarily pummeled by an older boy. “Don’t talk about that [expletive] here! I’m not gonna have any of your plan-revealing [expletive]!” Yes, some of the characters are potty-mouths.
At that moment, one of the people in the left crowd tossed out two of the Poke Balls of the person sitting right next to him and immediately strolled out of the Pokemon Center. Each Poke Ball created an intense burst of white light surrounded by a bluish-white aura. One of the lights began to take on a serpentine shape. Golden spikes began to protrude from the sides of the glowing snake, along with six otherworldly tentacle-like spikes. Its masked face reached upward, close to the ceiling of the Pokemon Center’s main lobby. The other wisp of light took on the shape of a tall humanoid creature. Three spikes emerged from its head, along with spike-like legs and four tentacle arms. The light faded to reveal the identity of the two Pokemon, and Skylar made a comment as the Pokemon revealed themselves.
“… Are you sure it’s too late for us to join you?” Patricia and Derrick summarily smacked their friend upside the head, causing him to retort, “What? I was gonna betray them afterward.”
The Pokemon revealed themselves to be the space virus Deoxys in its Attack Form and Giratina, the beast from the Distortion World, with a Griseous Orb on its person. The massive ghostly dragon opened its mask and let out a screech that loosely resembled a human scream. The otherworldly serpent then, with a single swipe of its tail, knocked the trio down the escalator that led to the basement of the Pokemon Center, while a newly-summoned Mewtwo blocked off the way back up with a Reflect.
“Dammit, it won’t fade ‘till five turns later” Patricia snarled, “and from the looks of turn-based strategy games and Shonen Animes about them, five turns could be an eternity.” “Shut up and get your game on” Derrick retorted, “and by ‘get your game on,’ I mean ‘start thinking for me while I just stand back and look dumb- I mean, lazy- I mean, awesome.’” I apologize to the Yugioh fanbase for that one. Patricia continued, “Anyone got Brick Break?” “No” both of them replied, and then Skylar commented, pointing up to the Pokemon Center’s lobby, “but at least they’re fighting against each other up there and not us.”
“What the hell is wrong with you” One of the girls from the right side cut in, “you don’t just trash lovers like those with the swipe of a Giratina tail!”
Hearing that, the protagonist trio quickly glanced at each other. All three of them then said, “I’m not in love with Patricia/you two.”
“It’ll make us miss out on the inevitable romance between them!” The girl unleashed her Ho-oh from its Repeat Ball, summoning the rainbow phoenix to the field. Accompanying the Ho-oh were a Mew, Latias, and Darkrai. The crowd then chanted, “You dare to interfere with our original true pairing?! You must die! Die for our ship!”
“I could say the same” retorted the leader of the other group, “well, except for the part about a boat. Prepare to get massacred, [two word expletive]s!”
All the trainers from both sides began to call out their Pokemon until the lobby began to fall apart due to the sheer number of large Pokemon being housed within it. Since battling in such a cramped room would be impossible, all the Psychic-type Pokemon in the crowd let loose their psychic energy, causing the entire first and second floor of the Pokemon Center to fly away in the form of a thousand rocky, metallic shards. The shards flew out in all directions, striking and damaging the neighboring buildings and trees.
------
Once the Pokemon were no longer constrained by space, and all-out war ensued. Creatures of legend were exchanging blows with other mythical beasts. Intense special attacks and ravaging physical attacks were delivered by every combatant. Some trainers and Pokemon healed and revitalized their Pokemon, meaning that this battle could very well go on for months, even years. Heavy property damage ensued. Newbie trainers just arriving at Oldale and veterans returning to this humble town were dumbfounded by the very presence of such a battle. Some even fainted due to the sheer epic-ness of the chaos.
Meanwhile, there were still three bystanders sealed away from the battle, stunned by the never-ending flurry of mystic projectiles. They noticed that the Reflect screen was fading and a Fire Blast was headed straight for them, so they fled downstairs to avoid the fiery missile. “This is just great” Patricia grumbled, “a massive action scene, and we’re forced to just react to it. Why can’t we be the ones dominating enemies out there? Any second now, a Hyper Beam will make a hole through the ceiling-“ Patricia was immediately interrupted by a beam of light tearing through the ceiling. She continued, “and then… we’ll get a hefty bag of Pokedollars.” At that moment, a Mew flew through the hole in the ceiling carrying a sack in its hands with a rectangular bulge on the inside and the obligatory Pokedollar symbol featured on the front. It let down the bag in Patricia’s hands and flew back into the battle. “Well that was nice of fate to give us a lot of money in case we survive” Patricia commented. At that moment, the sack of money exploded in her face, knocking her back onto her… back and leaving a layer of black soot covering her face. “Haha, Mew just kicked your ass” Derrick taunted. Once Patricia shook off the soot and stood back up, she gave off a furious glare. “[Expletive] you, Mew!” “Come on, that was just a cartoony injury” Skylar retorted, “nothing to use an M-rated swear word over.” As Patricia groaned at her friends’ comments, Skylar remembered something on him. He checked one of the pockets of his black cargo shorts for something. What was inside appeared to be the number for a hotline of some sort. It read:
“1-000-RIGHTEOUSNESS. For whenever you need a bit of divine intervention.”
“Hey Patricia” Skylar requested, “can I borrow your cell phone?” “What for?” “I think this could help us. Somehow…” Skylar immediately showed her the number and Patricia reached into the pocket of her asymmetrical jeans and threw her phone to him. Skylar frantically dialed the number using the number and letter slots on Patricia’s phone. Once he finished dialing, he awaited a response. As the phone rang, a blast of Sacred Fire created an even bigger hole in the ceiling.
A person on the other end picked up the phone and asked, “Hello, this is the Hand of Righteousness Emergency Hotline. What problems do you have that need to be smited?” “This may sound hard to believe” Skylar responded, “but there’s a war of like a thousand legendary Pokemon right above us at the Oldale Pokemon Center-“ “We’re on it. We’ll be at the scene right away” the unknown person replied, and then proceeded to immediately hang up afterwards. This made Patricia wonder: “Uh… where exactly did you find that number?” “Well” Skylar returned, “I found it on a random park bench when we were in Rustboro. It seemed mysterious enough, so I decided to pick it up. Maybe it’s a way to contact Arceus or something. All I know is that they sound like they could handle this.”
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Back on the surface, a number of portals began to appear. Through these gates, a number of agents dressed in white suits with blue ties emerged, carrying numerous unidentified devices. They immediately began to circle the raging battle, and then they prepared their weapons. Once they were ready, they all fired beams of light toward the battle zone. The beams struck many of the Pokemon in battle, causing them to dissolve.
As more legendary Pokemon faded, the main group approached the hole in the ceiling and noticed what was occurring. However, the beams were so blinding that Patricia and Derrick were forced to avert their gaze while Skylar had to reposition the black Go-Goggles around his neck so that the yellow lenses were covering his eyes. But even then, the light’s intensity forced him to look away.
After a few moments had passed, the mission was complete. Both the light and violence had come to a halt, so the three trainers finally returned to the surface while the Oldale City Nurse Joy was still bound and gagged behind the corner of the escalator. Once our protagonists resurfaced, the sky was orange, and the sun was lower than earlier. The Uber-handling trainers were now being apprehended by the men in white suits. Skylar, Patricia, and Derrick were quickly confronted by three of them. “So, were you the ones who called?” one of the men assumed. “Yeah. Thanks for getting them out of our lives” Derrick replied.
“No, thank you” the man retorted, “for helping us destroy these legendary Pokemon counterfeiters. Sounds really crazy, but it’s all too real… We want you to come with us to join our organization.” The group considered the offer… for all of a millisecond before Skylar returned, “Sorry, but we have a normal journey to continue on.” “No, I insist” he… insisted, “You really should join us.” “Hate to break it to ‘ya” Derrick retorted, “But you guys seem kinda weird.” “Yup, something about you guys rubs me in the wrong way. You look like the opposite of those government agents you see in the movies” Patricia added.
“Nothing’s ‘creepy’ about us. We are the hope for fixing the Pokemon world, so it is our responsibility to deal with the criminals that the Officer Jenny clones-I mean, police can’t handle.” “See?” Patricia retorted, much to Skylar’s chagrin, “I told you there was a conspiracy behind the identical Joys and Jennies.” “Right… No offense or anything, but we’re not quite ready to become full-time super amazing specialriffic heroes just yet” Skylar concluded, followed by Derrick’s quip. “I take offense.” “Shut up. Anyways, good luck with your whole superhero organization mission thingy.” The group turned around and finally began to start on their way back to Mauville.
“You have made the incorrect choice.”
The trio immediately turned around, startled by a sudden statement, even more adamant than anything he had said before, coming from the white-suited enforcer. “Those who don’t take the Wings of Righteousness seriously are prime targets of evil’s influence.” The well-dressed crusader continued, “Go on. Leave. But know well that you will become part of the shadows that we must purge from this corrupted land unless you reconsider quickly.” All three trainers gave him a perturbed glance and continued on their way.
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After the whole uber incident, we find… Derrick punching a cardboard cutout that fell down so easily, it was as if simply flicking it would do the exact same thing. He then crouched down and tore the cutout of some nondescript person into two uneven halves while his comrades stood and gazed at him as if he were deranged. He then snarled, “Those jackasses are going to pay for kicking our asses and shoving us into a basement for our big debut.” “So…” Skylar retorted, “Your method of relieving that stress is through property damage? I’m pretty sure that’s someone else’s cardboard.” “Shut up” Derrick growled, “The first chapter of a story is supposed to establish how badass the characters are, or at least how badass one character is. Like a certain character that I kinda know about.” “Ooh, was it me?” Patricia interrupted. “Don’t mention that story you posed online, PLEASE” Skylar moaned, covering his face with a facepalm, “I couldn’t get past that one part with at guy… and the Teddiursas… and the chainsaw murderers…” “Oh, that reminds me” Derrick added, “I’ve heard that around this time of year, starting tonight…”
“…They lurk on Route 203.”
Skylar’s sanity summarily shattered with that statement. His eyes shrank to a third of their original size, his skin’s complexion suddenly seemed a bit paler than usual, a cold sweat of fear trickled down the back of his neck, and he could have sworn that his legs were suddenly made of jelly, but I don’t seem to notice any additional squishiness or transparency in his legs. In fact, this whole paragraph is probably a carbon-copy of twenty other descriptions of fear.
Anywho, time for the heroic-sounding conclusion! Who in the name of Arceus were those people back in the Pokemon Center? Why so spontaneously fighting? Is anyone actually going to stop them from counterfeiting Legendary Pokemon, however that works? And who were those dashing, heroic men in white? Find out next time on-
“Glomp!” Turns out a girl just leaped at Skylar in what seems to be a mix between a hug and a tackle. Way to ruin the ending, woman.
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