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  1. Crazy Linoone

    In Progress Insert Title Here. Fanfic I'm starting to write.(Opinions/Help/Criticism appreciated)

    Your argument doesn't make sense either. Ketsu doesn't even say that Adam is a Sue: The point is that Adam does not have any personality. Adam gets a special, shiny Ralts just because. Rowan ignores a huge group of eager trainers just for Adam. Rowan is entirely persuaded that Adam is not a...
  2. Crazy Linoone

    In Progress Insert Title Here. Fanfic I'm starting to write.(Opinions/Help/Criticism appreciated)

    Actually, I disagree; fanfics can be great even if the chapters are on the short side. I think the length of this chapter is pretty good; better organization and descriptions'll make it better, but it seems fine right now. Long chapters might actually turn away readers, because it's hard to...
  3. Crazy Linoone

    In Progress Insert Title Here. Fanfic I'm starting to write.(Opinions/Help/Criticism appreciated)

    The main problem I have is with the big chunk of dialogue. The problem is that it feels really unrealistic. Some nickpicks: 1. Why did Professor Rowan automatically assume that Adam is a thief? Thieves usually don't go around presenting their stolen things to authority figures. And if Rowan...
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