Drunk vs. Drunk (L'il Dwagie vs. Zora of Termina)

L'il Dwagie said:

1v1 Single
Style: Set
DQ: 7 days
Damage Cap: 50%
Banned moves: Anything goes baby!
Arena: Some dive in lower Manhattan

Just some indeterminate bar in the city, this place smells heavily of alcohol, BO and piss. (Don't even -try- the bathrooms.) The patrons are at best drunkard bums and better described as imbibed apes, and the liquor they serve will set off radiological alarms. So what kind of battlefield is this?
Well, apparently when two trainers get drunk they find it to be a good idea to get their Pokémon drunk, as well. Noone really knows why, but it's probably in a similar vein to beer goggles. Of course, neither trainer is in much of a state to issue commands, and their Pokémon will soon be in no state to listen.

Upon being chosen each Pokémon is served gratuitous amounts of alcohol and set off on their way to have a go at each other.. if they can stay on their feet. The barkeep is about as apathetic to this, it seems, as to any other bar fight; and trust they're common.
Moves are selected completely random, similar to Metronome, from the Pokémon's available move pool. Any move may be used, included OHKO's, however should they hit they cannot break the damage cap and will deal an instant 50% tops.
Both Pokémon being lit off their arses will have an inflated ego and a boosted pain tolerance; essentially giving them both 150% HP and letting them go longer.
The bar is full of rickety and amusingly destructible objects, as well; and arena damage will become apparent. Apparently, the barkeep doesn't take into consideration supernatural powers. Hopefully soon he will~

Now, bar patrons will probably crowd around and chant a drunken Fight! chant; they may also throw things or get aggressive. Every action there is a 1% chance of a miffed patron trying to start a bar fight with one of the Pokémon, in which case they will lose their action that turn and take 5% untyped damage to knock the sucker out.
Bottles may also find themselves flying at either competitor, and each action there is also a 1% chance of an errant flying object hurling into the ring. Of course, aim is questionable, as is the actual contents of the bottles. There is a 15% chance of is containing more drink that will restore 5% HP to the Pokémon who catches it (Whether with their hand or their face), a 15% chance of it restoring 5% Energy, and a 20% chance of it dealing 3% untyped damage. Finally, at a 50% chance it will miss outright.

And finally, in this state the competitors will be less than capable of holding a steady battle. Every action there is a 5% chance of either Pokémon falling victim to temporary negative effects. There is an equal chance of one of four actions happened:

Falling asleep: The Pokémon will completely nod out, lowering both its defences by 3 stages until awoken and waking up after either 3 actions or after being struck by an offensive move.

Vomiting: The Pokémon will empty its stomach.. all over their opponent's face. This will totally gross their opponent out, and lower their defences by 3 stages for 3 actions.

Falling over: The Pokémon will completely lose its balance and fall right on its arse, causing them to lose that action and be inflicted with mild confusion.

Punchdrunk Swing: The Pokémon will forgo its supernatural powers in favour of slugging their opponent in the face. This will deal 5% untyped damage at 70% accuracy.

Click to expand...

L’il Dwagie (O)


Evil Mothra (F) <Tinted Lens>
Health: 43%
Energy: 9%
Status: Utterly exhausted, but still indignant. -1 Defense. Burned (3% per round).
Commands: Nuuu chill, CHILL ~ or moar beer... that works, well, in fact ~ or just hump Cyndra and get it over with. We'll win in spirit then.

Zora of Termina (O)


Cyndra (F) <Blaze>
Health: 53% (capped)
Energy: 33%
Status: Feeling rather derpy. +1 Defense. Poisoned (2% each round).
Commands: Well damn. ~ Fucking Bide. ~ I'm going back to sleep.

Cyndra gave a little gasp and abruptly uncurled, then stood up, rubbing at her sore stomach muscles as she did so. Such a position was taxing to hold – nigh impossible when the user was stoned as hell. After a final pat, Cyndra waddled awkwardly towards her opponent and, in a movement that was surprisingly graceful for the stout Pokemon, whirled around to deliver a kick to Mothra’s cheek. The Venonat gave a squeak and stumbled; while Mothra regained her footing, Cyndra lurched forward to give her another kick, this time in the face. The force of the punt sent Mothra skidding back a few inches on her behind. Indignantly, she pawed at her nose hidden among her thick fur in an attempt to soothe the pain.

After several moments, Mothra stood up. There was a nasty leer in her eyes as she crouched low on the ground. As she gave a cry and began to sprint at top speed towards Mothra, only Arceus knew what was going on through the fuzzy bug’s head; no sane Pokemon would use such a powerful, reckless attack when they were in copious amounts of pain and about to drop from exhaustion, after all. Then again, Mothra was probably beyond the boundaries of common sense. With another yell, the Venonat threw her weight forward, bearing herself into Cyndra’s side. The two rolled over, skidded, and then came to a halt, Cyndra sprawled awkwardly on top of Mothra. Both Pokemon were covered in dust and new bruises. The Venonat was too fatigued to really care, and though she made a half-hearted attempt to kick Cyndra off her back, the Cyndaquil was too heavy to budge.

For a few seconds, Cyndra didn’t move – it was almost as if she enjoyed that last attack, as damaging as it was. A loud “ahem” from the now-conscious referee brought her back to earth, though, and Cyndra hurriedly dove to the ground. “Into” would be more apt, though, as she didn’t stop when all four legs touched the floor – in fact, she began tearing at the floorboards in a frenzy, quickly exposing hard clay underneath and digging through that too. Within moments, Cyndra had disappeared, leaving a pile of crumbled clay and dirt near the newly-formed tunnel’s mouth. Faint scratching sounds could be heard as the burrow was lengthened.

While Cyndra ravaged the bar’s floor, Mothra flipped over onto her back and gave a garbled sigh. She was so tired that she couldn’t even muster the strength to stagger to her feet. With her huge eyes, she cast her gaze about, realizing too late that Cyndra had vanished. Mothra sighed again, this time in defeat. There would be no chance of victory now. The Venonat’s frustration slowly peaked until she felt like defiling the walls and floorboards with her claws in a rage, but she was far too exhausted to do that. Instead, she opened her mouth as wide as it would go and let out the loudest, more piercing shriek she could muster. Cyndra, deep underground, winced as the grating sound drilled into her ears. Its effect was dramatically reduced due to the distance between the two Pokemon, but the Cyndaquil still crouched to the ground and shuddered with discomfort.

Deciding to end this as quickly as possible, Cyndra renewed her digging efforts, this time making her tunnel slope upwards towards the surface. In an explosion of splinters, rock, and clay, the Cyndaquil burst from the surface and gave Mothra a fierce tackle. The fluffy bug gave no response, however, and merely flopped to the ground a foot away. Cyndra hopped over to investigate, and when she realized that Mothra had already fainted, she gave a guilty burp. Overkill much?

L’il Dwagie (x)


Evil Mothra (F) <Tinted Lens>
Health: 25%
Energy: 0%
Status: Knocked out!

Zora of Termina (O)


Cyndra (F) <Blaze>
Health: 41%
Energy: 19%
Status: “Oops.” Poisoned (2% each round).

Terrain notes
The bar is completely deserted now, save for the trainers, Pokemon, and referee, of course (and a few unconscious bystanders, but really, who cares about them?). There is the reminder of a fissure in the ground, complete with cracked and shattered tiles. A few half-hardened pools of lava are spattered here and there. The ceiling above the closed crack is badly burned and crumbling, and pieces of plaster, their sizes ranging from small to quite large, are scattered on the area below. Behind the counter, the ground is littered with shattered glass.
Floorboards have been torn up in two places. Said places also sport a hole each, both which lead into the same u-shaped tunnel.

Final notes
Cyndra’s attacks: Double Kick and Dig.
Mothra’s attacks: Double-Edge and Screech.
No Attract/Captivate? Well, we’ll have to compromise.
The 2nd kick of Double Kick was a critical hit.
When I ref attacks that take two turns to complete in the games, I ref them as having a negative priority. Therefore, Dig struck after Mothra Screeched (and fainted).
Mothra fainted due to energy loss on the 2nd action.

The battle is over, and Zora of Termina is the winner! She gets $8 for winning, and Cyndra receives 2 EXP.
L’il Dwagie gets $3, and Mothra receives 1 EXP.
I get $5 for reffing.
Awesome game, guys, and incredibly fun to ref. Now excuse me while I go out and buy some beer.

Haha, that was far too awesome. I kind of didn't account for energy when initially making them.. but maybe that's the point. <: Still, thanks for taking the on Blazhy, we're going to have to have a new one soon~ May have to think of some conditions that even up the odds though so CyndraMothra can have totally even chances cause best rivalry/lesbian relationship ever.

They're also totally earned a rival theme kekeke~ Oh dear, this is going to be interesting~