Metallica Fanboy vs Kam

The progression of creative ASB arenas seems to have turned from the edible to the downright suicidal as three trainers fly into a smoking, active volcano on the backs of their terrified Pokémon. Their collective hearts sink as they are lowered down the spout of the volcano into the magma chamber and dropped off somewhat safely onto the shelf of rock around a bubbling pool of magma. Noticing what a mind-bogglingly horrible idea this was, the trainers do the only logical thing and start sending out Pokémon, rather than getting out of here as fast as humanly possible. Kam sends out Zero, his Bronzong, and his opponent counters his choice with Dexterous the Aerodactyl. Beginning to really, really wish he'd never agreed to this, the referee announces the beginning of the battle.

=ROUND ONE=
Metallica Fanboy (ƟƟ)

Dexterous (M) <Pressure/Intimidate>
Held item: Reaper Cloth
Health: 100% | Energy: 100%
Status: keeping his distance from the magma.
Taunt/Agility ~ Rock Tomb/Agility/Taunt ~ Rock Tomb/Sunny Day/Agility

Kammington (ƟƟ)

Zero (X) <Levitate>
Health: 100% | Energy: 100%
Status: wishing its ability was Heatproof. -1 Attack.
Protect ~ Charge Beam ~ Psychic/Extrasensory


Zero warily floats as high above the ground as he can, eager to avoid contact with any of the burning hot surfaces of the chamber. Rather more preoccupied with melting than with the battle, Zero decides to put up a protective shield against the elements and also block out whatever Dexterous might try against him. The dinosaur Pokémon sees the glistening shield protecting Zero and scoffs, calling scornfully down at the cowardly Pokémon to come and fight him properly unless he's afraid of melting like the worthless heap of scrap metal he is. However, the protective bubble enclosing Zero blocks out even external sounds, and he remains blissfully unaware of Dexterous' mocking until his opponent gives up and the shield dissipates.

Hovering above the magma, Dexterous sees the shining sphere of light encasing his opponent vanish and decides to start up the insultathon again. Zero spins around angrily to face the jeering avian, growing increasingly enraged as Dexterous mocks his courage and fighting ability. With a metallic snarl, the flying bell levitates closer to his opponent, too furious to notice he's now floating directly above the seething magma. Dexterous pauses to think up some more insults just as Zero claps together his appendages and releases a swarm of lightning bolts that converge into a solid, crackling beam and surge straight into the Aerodactyl's chest, exploding on impact into a shower of stars and a bright flash of light. Caught off guard, the ancient bird screeches in surprise as Zero lets out an aggressive chuckle.

Dexterous soon shakes off the surprise and returns his attention to the battle, recalling his command to bury that hunk of junk in a Rock Tomb. He's just about to dive at the ground beneath Zero when he realises there kind of isn't any; his opponent is directly above molten lava, with no rock anywhere to crush him under. All of a sudden Dexterous' primitive prehistoric brain is seized by some supernatural force; an unknown power begins manipulating his central nervous system, twisting his limbs in unnatural and gruesome ways, wringing pain out of the pterodactyl's joints. Screeching in agony as his limbs are wrenched around brutally, Dexterous is finally able to push the foreign power out of his head and regain control. Zero grins meanly to himself, still filled with contempt for his infuriating nemesis and sadistically pleased with the contortion act he forced on his sore and bewlidered foe.


Metallica Fanboy (ƟƟ)

Dexterous (M) <Pressure/Intimidate>
Held item: Reaper Cloth
Health: 83% | Energy: 94%
Status: furious at falling behind so soon.
Taunt ~ Taunt ~ nothing

Kammington (ƟƟ)

Zero (X) <Levitate>
Health: 100% | Energy: 89%
Status: itching to dig his appendages into his foe again. -1 Attack. Taunted (2 more actions).
Protect ~ Charge Beam ~ Extrasensory

=REFEREE'S NOTES=
~ Taunt #1 was blocked by protect.
~ As Kam observed, no rocks under Zero means nothing to bury him with.

=TURN ORDER=
~ Kam attacks
~ Metallica Fanboy attacks​

=ROUND TWO=
Metallica Fanboy (ƟƟ)

Dexterous (M) <Pressure/Intimidate>
Held item: Reaper Cloth
Health: 83% | Energy: 94%
Status: furious at falling behind so soon.
Torment ~ Prehistoric Banter ~ Prehistoric Banter

Kammington (ƟƟ)

Zero (X) <Levitate>
Health: 100% | Energy: 89%
Status: itching to dig his appendages into his foe again. Taunted (2 more actions). -1 Attack.
Charge Beam/Psychic/Trick Room ~ Charge Beam/Psychic/Trick Room ~ Charge Beam/Psychic/Trick Room


Hugely irritated at falling so quickly behind, Dexterous cracks a devilish grin and decides to use a few mind games to stack the cards in his favour. Swooping over to Zero, he begins to circle the Bronzong, calling down to it as the enraged bell scowls up at his opponent. Pretty nice Charge Beam you used there, he calls. Zero is taken aback by this praise, and is about to awkwardly thank Dexterous before the Aerodactylo adds ...bet that's the best you can do though. Not that I was expecting much from a floating hunk of metal, but... I kind of came into this battle wanting a challenge. Rather than getting even more riled up by this torrent of abuse, Zero is actually slightly hurt. He tries not to let it get to him, again touching his appendages together and charging up a ball of electricity between them. He then fires it, some of the electricity diffusing into his body to power up future attacks, and the electrical beam streaks through the air and blasts into Dexterous' wing. The Aerodactyl screeches as the jolt blasts into his wing, then makes sure to flash Zero an obnoxious "told-you-so" look. Its opponent's words resonate in Zero's head, and the Bronzong begins to consider ignoring its orders to wipe that smug look off Dexterous' face.

However, what was once a very infuriating expression on the Aerodactyl's face has now turned into a vacant look of nostalgia; all this underhanded trickery reminds Dexterous of a rather heated battle he had with a particularly dim Rampardos a few million years back. He had that stupid lizard whipped up into a murderous fury much like Zero's current state, its primitive mind completely detached from all strategy, and while it was busy trading insults Dexterous took it down with a Hyper Beam. The Aerodactyl chuckles wistfully, and begins to reminisce out loud for all to hear, rather forgetting in his excitement that he's in the middle of a battle. As he jabbers on about the time he defeated a whole pack of Bastiodon single-handed with one wing tied behind his back, Zero decides the time is right to teach the ancient fossil bird a lesson. He touches his appendages together and begins to charge up electricity until he remembers Dexterous' scathing words about his uselessness and lack of decent attacks. He dissipates the charge and begins another attack; his whole body glowing, he raises his appendages and concentrates his psychic energy on Dexterous. A pink light envelops the Aerodactyl, and he is slowly lowered towards the lava pit, still chattering away obliviously about his prehistoric achievements. For a few seconds he bobs in the air above the lava before Zero swings an appendage down, sending Dexterous swooping down into the lava. Dexterous stops warbling immediately and screeches in pain as his body is thrust into the seething lava, and he frantically struggles to free himself from Zero's psychic hold. The Bronzong watches his opponent's agonised writhing in morbid delight for a few seconds before letting him go to struggle out of the lava pit. Dexterous thrashes to the edge of the lava and grabs on with his claws, desperately scrabbling onto the rock. Eventually he pulls himself free; the lava didn't have much of an effect on his tough, rocky skin, but it still caused him some quite nasty pain.

Flapping his wings to shake off the cooling molten rock, Dexterous whips his head round to glare in fury at Zero. Well, I never! he cries in anger. Are all Pokémon this rude nowadays?! In my day we had the common decency to pay attention to our elders when they were speaking, rather than dropping them into pits of boiling lava! Why, if I'd interrupted an older Pokémon when they were trying to speak to me when I was a hatchling I'd have been given the back of their claw, and I'll tell you another thing- but Zero still isn't paying much attention. The sight of his opponent being fried in the lava seems to have cooled his blood-lust, ending his fixation with tearing Dexterous limb from limb. Instead Zero decides to play more strategically, raising his arms and bathing the arena in psychic energy. The volcano becomes filled with an atmosphere of strange, distorting pink and purple lights; the lava begins to swirl and bubble with the consistency of set concrete, and the referee looks at his watch to see the time speeding forward at a frightening rate. By this account, he's now about eighty-seven years old and counting. Of course, not even the total collapse of reality distracts Dexterous from his ranting.


Metallica Fanboy (ƟƟ)

Dexterous (M) <Pressure/Intimidate>
Held item: Reaper Cloth
Health: 63% | Energy: 87%
Status: going off on an infuriated tirade about today's youth; nobody's paying attention. Using Prehistoric Banter (1 more action). +3 Attack.
Torment ~ Prehistoric Banter ~ Prehistoric Banter

Kammington (ƟƟ)

Zero (X) <Levitate>
Health: 100% | Energy: 75%
Status: divided by himself. Affected by Torment. -1 Attack, +1 Sp. Attack.
Charge Beam ~ Psychic ~ Trick Room

=REFEREE'S NOTES=
~ Trick Room in effect (2 more rounds).
~ Charge Beam was just 1 away from being critical. :o
~ his soak in the lava activated Dexterous' attack boost.
~ I... I can't stop picturing Dexterous as Oldbag.
~ Torment stopped Zero using another Charge Beam, so he reverted to his only other offensive command, Psychic.
~ Taunt wore off at the end of action 2.

=TURN ORDER=
~ Kam issues commands
~ Metallica Fanboy issues commands.​

=ROUND THREE=
Metallica Fanboy (ƟƟ)

Dexterous (M) <Pressure/Intimidate>
Held item: Reaper Cloth
Health: 63% | Energy: 87%
Status: going off on an infuriated tirade about today's youth; nobody's paying attention. Using Prehistoric Banter (1 more action). +3 Attack.
Prehistoric Banter ~ Sunny Day/Agility ~ Fire Fang/Sunny Day

Kammington (ƟƟ)

Zero (X) <Levitate>
Health: 100% | Energy: 75%
Status: divided by himself. Affected by Torment. -1 Attack, +1 Sp. Attack.
Gravity ~ Chill/Psychic ~ Chill/Charge Beam


...and that's why Pokémon these days have it too easy, Dexterous finishes with a scornful glare at his opponent. Now, in summary...
Zero, however, is in no mood to entertain Dexterous' nagging for one more second. He begins hovering higher, and floats toward the first level of the rock spiral. He settles down on the ledge and waves his appendages in the air, glowing with a purple aura, and suddenly everything in the volcano seems to grow much heavier; particles of burning ash spewed up by the lava pit becomes as heavy as bricks and rain back down towards the ground, leaving massive dents as they slam into the floor. The trainers and referee take cover under the rocky outcroppings, and Dexterous comes to the end of his outburst to discover he's suddenly too heavy to fly.

While Dexterous struggles furiously to get himself airborne, Zero takes the moment of complete security to take a rest from the exertions of battle. As his energy replensishes, Dexterous decides the best course of action would be to catch that no-good whippersnapper on foot. Fighting against the immensely powerful gravity, he eventually lifts one talon and puts it in front of the other. Aha! he screeches triumphantly. Physics is no match for my mighty walking abilities. He begins the laborious trek around the first lap of the volcano, all the time shouting scathing insults up at the napping Zero to supplement his earlier Torment. Zero opens his eyes to see Dexterous walking up just a few yards away and scuffles back in shock; he must have fallen asleep, there.

Dexterous screeches and fans his wings, trying not to topple over sideways in the warped gravity, and Zero realises in a panic he needs to take action... by Chilling?! Come on Kam, that's not going to show this stuck-up pile of coproliths, especially not twice in a row, he grumbles in his trainer's general direction. Dexterous, meanwhile, opens his jaws and releases a small sphere of Fire-type energy, and Zero flinches, waiting for it to slam into his face; however, it instead drifts harmlessly up the spout of the volcano, unhindered by gravity, and hovers near the opening, bathing the inside of the volcano in a warm, red glow. Not that warm, red glows are very noticeable in volcanoes.


Metallica Fanboy (ƟƟ)

Dexterous (M) <Pressure/Intimidate>
Held item: Reaper Cloth
Health: 63% | Energy: 78%
Status: "the sun'll come ouuuut~ tomorrow~". +3 Attack.
Prehistoric Banter ~ Agility ~ Sunny Day

Kammington (ƟƟ)

Zero (X) <Levitate>
Health: 100% | Energy: 87%
Status: "betcha bottom dollar that tomorroooow~". Affected by Torment. -1 Attack, +1 Sp. Attack.
Gravity ~ Chill ~ [nothing]

=REFEREE'S NOTES=
~ Trick Room active (1 more round).
~ Gravity in effect (3 more actions).
~ the sun is out (5 more actions).
~ Dexterous used up a little extra energy to get close to Zero against the gravity making him heavier and slower; if he hadn't been using Agility it probably would have taken more than one action.
~ Chill failed due to Torment.

=TURN ORDER=
~ Metallica Fanboy issues commands
~ Kam issues commands
​

=ROUND FOUR=
Metallica Fanboy (ƟƟ)

Dexterous (M) <Pressure/Intimidate>
Held item: Reaper Cloth
Health: 63% | Energy: 78%
Status: "the sun'll come ouuuut~ tomorrow~". +3 Attack.
Taunt/Protect ~ Fire Fang/Taunt/Protect ~ Earthquake/Fire Fang/Protect

Kammington (ƟƟ)

Zero (X) <Levitate>
Health: 100% | Energy: 87%
Status: "betcha bottom dollar that tomorroooow~". Affected by Torment. -1 Attack, +1 Sp. Attack.
Confuse Ray/Charge Beam ~ Gyro Ball/Psychic (into the lava) ~ Charge Beam/Psychic (into the lava)


The intense gravity still pulling down immensely, Zero wrestles his appendages into the air and charges an orb of light between them. The glowing blob swirls aimlessly out from the tips of his arms and through the air, in Dexterous' general direction. The Aerodactyl becomes mesmerised by the orb, which begins to quickly flash in all sorts of bright and distracting colours. Dexterous' eyes follow it in wonder as it spins lazily around his head. So transfixed is he that while following it around, he neglects to not fall arse over head and smash face-first into the ground. Zero snickers robotically at its opponent's pratfall, and Dexterous scrambles humiliated to his feet and snarls at Zero, the light still circling his head.

Dexterous growls at his opponent in a furious rage. How dare he show him up like this! Nobody makes him make a mockery of himself and get away with it. With a screech, he rushes at Zero as fast as the intense gravity and time-warping psychic crap will allow, but Zero manages to get in an attack faster. Spinning quickly, it dashes at Dexterous' feet and bowls him over mid-dash, once again introducing his face to the ground as the two are sent careening across the floor in a tumbling heap. After a lot of thrashing, Dexterous manages to throw the huge heap of metal off himself, in the process dealing a savage Fire Fang to his opponent, venting his rage at the Bronzong for daring to interrupt his rambling.

Wriggling out of his foe's jaws and wiping the ash off his body, Zero feels the gravity getting weaker and the progression of time returning to normal, and hurries to get the first attack again before the flow of time returns to normal. He touches his appendages together again and charges a bolt of electricity, which shoots through the air towards Dexterous as a bright crackling beam and strikes him in the wing with a burst of sparks. Dexterous screeches and recoils in pain, then turns to his foe with a furious roar. Fighting the still intensely strong gravity, he lifts his foot and stomps the ground as hard as he can. The force shatters the shelf of rock the Pokémon stand on, sending a shockwave along the entire level of the rock spire and crumbling the rock into pebbles. The Pokémon drop through the massive hole that opens beneath them and plummet to the bottom of the volvano, but Dexterous times his moment carefully and starts flapping his wings just as the gravity lets off, allowing Zero to slam to the ground with a tremendous crash. Dexterous soars around him with a cruel smirk as the Bronzong groans and starts up his levitation again.


Metallica Fanboy (ƟƟ)

Dexterous (M) <Pressure/Intimidate>
Held item: Reaper Cloth
Health: 33% | Energy: 67%
Status: not feeling great. +3 Attack. Confused (moderate).
[confused] ~ Fire Fang ~ Earthquake

Kammington (ƟƟ)

Zero (X) <Levitate>
Health: 63% | Energy: 69%
Status: "how dare that insolent Aerodactyl start damaging my HP like he is supposed to". Affected by Torment. -1 Attack, +1 Sp. Attack.
Confuse Ray ~ Gyro Ball ~ Charge Beam

=REFEREE'S NOTES=
~ the sun is out (2 more actions).
~ Zero Charge Beamed before because it was affected by Taunt, so I had it switch to its next possible offensive command. Last round it was only Tormented.

=TURN ORDER=
~ Kam issues commands
~ Metallica Fanboy issues commands
​