The Battle for Asber

To Kusarigamaitachi
And the rest: You don't frighten me
And it seems you refuse to see
You soon will be sent packing

I offer you a challenge here
To prove what you say you hold dear:
Your strength of mind; let me be clear
I find it to be lacking

In brute force, yes, you beat us down
Throw meteors at Asber town
Proclaim your might and world-renown
And set this town to sacking

But on a field made but of mind
You claim you will not stoop to find
A challenge of another kind
You stick with your attacking

I submit, then, that all you three
Cannot overcome I or we
Who stand against your tyranny
Your boasts have no real backing

I challenge you in poetry
To match my versatility
You haven't tried but once; I see
Your shame must be so wracking

Give but one line, or but one sign
You have the might you claim in mind
I think you don't, and that's just fine
Your pride deserves a smacking

Damn, Mewtwo, you're no fun
Acting like the battle's already been won
If you hold a claim to victory
Instead of one for catastrophy
(Which I won't deny you caused, I see
By the meteors hurtling towards me)
Then show us your wit
It's not like you've displayed it
By spamming super effective attacks
At the very least you should face the facts.

If your mind has power so vast
To crush us all with a psychokinetic blast
Without thought, then why
Would it be so hard to try
A verbal way of speaking
That requires a bit of thinking?

You have time
To carry out your heinous crime;
Why not put it in rhyme?
It may seem like a useless chime
Of insolence, as you seem so inclined
But with all the other opinions entwined
You seem to be outnumbered.

((Ole_schooler, I think when Asber's not in peril,
We should have a rhyming battle, filled with fun and carol
I might not do so well,
But for that only time will tell!))

(((Although I'm pretty sure after the third round,
My rhyming abilities and creativity won't be too sound.)))

I think that's a great idea, Mai,
We really should give that a try,
Once Asber is clear,
We'll abscond from here,
And poetry all on the fly.

There is one thing I wish to add,
Though your rhyme scheme is far from bad,
The fact is your meter
Could be a bit bet(t)er
But you're still better than Kusari, so be glad!

Giratina may take the brunt of the ditto's struggles, but the undead dragon hardly notices the feeble kicking of the prey in its gut. As Leo limps away through the air, the dragon is already preparing to finish off its weakened opponent. Giratina, which had still been rising on the follow-through of its shadow force, loops back on itself, and dives straight back at Leo. The legendary's long body blurs into darkness as it accelerates, smashing into the gallade at top speed. Leo is slammed straight into unconsciousness by the force of the impact, and Mawile is knocked free of his shoulders, the two of them tumbling separately through the air as the green light that had protected its comrades is abruptly extinguished. The trainer manages to recall his pokémon, and, fortunately for him, doesn't have long to fall; one of the other humans rising to join the battle is able to guide their pokémon to snatch him out of the air. As Mawile's savior ferries him back to the ground, he is passed by another trainer on his way up, hurrying to take his place in the fray.

Chief Zackrai won't arrive fast enough to help his friends through the immediate danger, however. Fisher can't even see him from her spot above the main battlefield, though the blood starting to clot over her eye isn't helping any. Fortunately, her target isn't going anywhere; she could hit the telekinesis-pinioned Darkrai with her eyes closed. And, in fact, that's what she's about to do.

The aerodactyl concentrates, drawing on the pure energy of the wind and open sky and gathering it to herself. She glows orange-rimmed white, and ole_schooler and The Omskivar are force to shield their eyes from the glare, which shows even through their closed eyelids. Fisher tips forward into a steep dive, burning like one of the falling meteors, but as she approaches her target the aerodactyl's aura unfolds, spreading angled orange wings that stream sparks of flying-type power as Fisher plows into Darkrai. The nightmare pokémon recoils from the flare of light and heat as best it can, its red eyes watering, and cringes, claws raised to shield its face.

Mewtwo watches Fisher's spectacular dive without expression, but as the aerodactyl's aura fades and Fisher levels off again, the psychic's eyes narrow. It's time for a bit of revenge.

Lightning crackles around Mewtwo's hand as it points it down at Fisher, and a roaring thunderbolt takes flight, striking the aerodactyl squarely. Fisher keens and shudders as the electricity races through her body, falling into a lurching series of drops as she struggles to keep her wingbeats synchronized. The trainers on her back aren't spared the thunderbolt's fury, either, and they struggle to keep their hold on Fisher's back despite the pain and shaking. Even after they've recovered, however, Fisher continues to shiver and struggle, fighting against muscles gone suddenly unresponsive. Mewtwo's face is graced by the faintest of smiles as it watches its hated target flounder.

Giratina continues to ignore the stirrings of the pokémon in its stomach, Meta hammering away at it for all it's worth, whimpering and raging by turns as it tries to come to terms with the hopelessness of its situation. Buzzcomb sighs in irritation as the ditto smacks her now and again, and resolves to do a bit better in her escape attempts. The vespiquen is growing sluggish and weak, but she manages to cross her arms in front of her face nonetheless, bringing them slicing down in a decisive X pattern. Green bug energy blossoms briefly in the darkness of Giratina's innards, and a matching X is carved into the wall of the stomach, slicing straight through the slick of mucous to the flesh beneath. Giratina twitches a little in flight and lashes its tail, but the damage is not severe. The glow of the attack's energy is rapidly extinguished, and Buzzcomb sinks back against the wall of the stomach, fighting off dizziness.

When Monopole's ponderous leg comes swinging around again, it knocks Darkrai back to its senses. The nightmare creature growls as it first recovers from the hammer arm, then realizes it's missed its shot at attack. A quick glance around at its legendary brethren finds them already preparing their next moves. Darkrai curses its lapse but has no intention of missing out on its next attack, raising one arm as lightning dances around its claws.

Team Legend
Safeguard in play: 2 more actions

Kratos Aurion (O)

Giratina (X) <Levitate>
Health: 956
Energy: 985
Used: Shadow Sneak @ Leo
- Reveling in having made the first kill.

Pathos (O)

Darkrai (X) <Bad Dreams>
Health: 909
Energy: 982
Used: Flinch
- Shell-shocked. Under the effects of telekinesis (1 more action).

Kusarigamaitachi (O)

Mewtwo (X) <Pressure>
Health: 1000
Energy: 982
Used: Thunderbolt @ Fisher
- And now, revenge. Taunted (1 more action).

Team Asber

The Omskivar (O)

Buzzcomb (F) <Pressure> @ Expert Belt
Health: 89%
Energy: 84%
Used: X-Scissor @ Giratina
- Fading. One action to suffocation KO.

Superbird (O)

Meta (X) <Limber>
Health: 89%
Energy: 93%
Used: Struggle
- Starting to panic. Two actions to suffocation KO.

Grass King (O)

Monopole (X) <Clear Body> @ Leftovers
Health: 100%
Energy: 80%
Used: Hammer Arm @ Darkrai
- Attacking away. -3 Speed

ole_schooler (O)

Fisher (F) <Pressure> @ Choice Scarf
Health: 48%
Energy: 77%
Used: Sky Attack @ Darkrai
- Trying to get her flight under control. Paralyzed (severe). -1 Accuracy

Mawile (X)

Leo (M) <Steadfast> @ Expert Belt
Health: 0%
Energy: 88%
Used: Nothing
Knocked Out!

Oh hey, hold up, why wasn't I invited?
Don't you guys know that I'd just be delighted
to partake in some good old throwing down
and show these legends my verbal renown?
This here dude representative of gallade
would love to spin out a lovely ballade
woven from wit as sharp as his sword
and recieve some nice kind of reward
for gracing these mistaken power hungry fools
with a taste of some good old Asber rules.

So legends, be wary
of the sharp edge I carry.
It stings worse than a beedrill, without a shred of doubt.
for causing you pain is what I'm all about.
Asber will prosper, legends take your flight,
Because Blade is here to join the fight.

EDIT: Bad timing, sorry. I can delete this and repost it, if need be.

Ah... finally.

And now we shall see that we need nothing more than electricity to deal with you.

Jesus Christ, Giratina you scary
Future participants besta be wary
He comin' in thru yo' windows, run fo' yo' life
He eatin' yo' childrens an' he eatin' yo wife

(I'm so tired)

And now we resort to rape jokes? Honestly, humans, you make yourself more pitiful with every post.

I do not believe there were any rape jokes in that poem :l

Eh, a bed intruder reference is a rape joke in my book...

Also wow, we're... really not doing very well. Hm. :(

I just said a window. It could have been a kitchen window or a bathroom window or something.

Do I need to go all Dr. Seuss and explain in rhyme all the places there can be windows?

... You were quite clearly making a reference to the bed intruder, who was a rapist attempting to rape a woman. I don't see how the placement of windows is relevant.

And darkrai, why do you know this persay?

I am a god. There is little I do not know.

Pssh. Darkrai is about as much of a god as Cresselia; in fact, less of one.

NO METAAAAAAa

Anthromorphic feline + untamed Garden Snake + Shadow with a bad haircut =/= Gods

Scoff! A Dunsparce is more of a god than you three! So is a Stunfisk! And a Zubat! And a Tentacool! Hmm...magikarp evolves into a god soooo...So is a Sunkern? So is a...Bidoof!

A Bidoof is Like Arceus when up against you three.

Wait...the She who hols you by the shackles....Negrek's Arceus, isn't she? =O

Negrek, ref using Poetry, like whoever mentioned it said. =)

The sizzling sparks around Darkrai's hand are mirrored by those dancing around Mewtwo's fingers and arcing between the prongs of Giratina's mask. A glance passes between the three legendaries, all of them united in vindictive intent. Three thunderbolts stab through the air, converging on a single point: Fisher. The aerodactyl isn't even given a chance to cry out as the powerful attacks converge, the roar of electrical discharge the only sound marking the aerodactyl's defeat. The burst of light that accompanies the attacks' collision momentarily blinds all onlookers, and by the time they've blinked the last dancing lights from their watering eyes, Fisher and her riders are already a long way off, tumbling in an uncontrolled free-fall. Grass King and Superbird yell after their companions, but there's no hope of catching them now. Far below, unbeknownst to the others, a mysterious blur darts in to collect the fallen fighters and with another flicker of movement is away, carrying them off to somewhere safe.

Monopole watches its comrade fall, its face betraying no emotion. Within, the metagross' four brains concur: things aren't going well. Thus far it has been fortunate to escape damage, however, and while it's still in the game, it will fight on. The metagross snaps Darkrai out of its maniacal cackling with another well-placed hammer arm, which also sets the legend adrift in the air. Darkrai flexes its limbs experimentally, then whips away through the sky with another wild laugh, happy beyond measure to be free of its telekinetic bonds at last.

Meta and Buzzcomb, on the other hand, remain well and truly trapped. The vespiquen musters the last of her strength to unleash another x-scissor on the wall of her prison, aiming at what she hopes is the same spot she hit last time, though in the darkness there is no way to know. The attack does strike more or less the same location, digging through the thinned layer of mucous and cutting into the flesh beyond. Giratina's stomach is tough and muscular, however; it will take more than that to hack a real hole in it. Buzzcomb groans faintly and sinks back. The chill soporiphic drenching her carapace and the airless atmosphere overcome her at last, and the vespiquen gives in to unconsciousness. A moment later, she dissolves away into red light, and Meta hides its face against the unexpected illumination. It is suddenly alone in Giratina's stomach, trapped and soon to give in to the same weariness that overcame Buzzcomb. The ditto pounds away at the inside of the stomach, trying to turn his dread to rage and infusing its struggles with all the strength it has left.

Grass King starts as he hears a shout from below and, peering out over the edge of Monopole's body, he finds another steel-psychic floating up to join the metagross in the fray. Derpy waves up at The Omskivar, clinging to one of the bronzong's arms, while Barubu is wrapped in the other, his feet braced against China's side as he leans out into empty space, staring queasily at the ground below. A cottonee accompanies the two trainers, drifting easily on the warm updrafts caused by the raging fires. Across the field, Chief Zackrai is taking up a place with Ptah the gliscor. The legends survey their new opponents with cool confidence. Let the pathetic humans bring in as many comrades as they like--legendary power is sure to triumph in the end.

Team Legend
Safeguard in play: 1 more action

Kratos Aurion (O)

Giratina (X) <Levitate>
Health: 943
Energy: 980
Used: Thunderbolt @ Fisher
- Time for the main course?

Pathos (O)

Darkrai (X) <Bad Dreams>
Health: 897
Energy: 977
Used: Thunderbolt @ Fisher
- Sweet, sweet revenge!

Kusarigamaitachi (O)

Mewtwo (X) <Pressure>
Health: 1000
Energy: 977
Used: Thunderbolt @ Fisher
- Pleased.

Team Asber

The Omskivar (X)

Buzzcomb (F) <Pressure> @ Expert Belt
Health: 0%
Energy: 0%
Used: X-Scissor @ Giratina
Knocked Out!

Superbird (O)

Meta (X) <Limber>
Health: 88%
Energy: 91%
Used: Struggle
- Utterly terrified. One action to suffocation KO.

Grass King (O)

Monopole (X) <Clear Body> @ Leftovers
Health: 100%
Energy: 75%
Used: Hammer Arm @ Darkrai
- Unsettled. -4 Speed

ole_schooler (X)

Fisher (F) <Pressure> @ Choice Scarf
Health: 0%
Energy: 77%
Used: Nothing
Knocked Out!

Up Next Round

Barubu (O)

China (X) <Levitate> @ Leppa Berry
Health: 100%
Energy: 100%
- Stoic.

Derpy (O)

Aries (M) <Prankster> @ Sun Stone
Health: 100%
Energy: 100%
- Floating along, not a care in the world.

Chief Zackrai (O)

Ptah (M) <Hyper Cutter> @ Life Orb
Health: 100%
Energy: 100%
- Clacking his pincers in agitation.

Final Notes
- So I was pretty much the only person enthused about a consistent Friday DQ time, so we'll stick to a standard week. You have until midnight next Tuesday to send commands.

You mocked us all, aerodactyl, so it should be of no surprise that we all chose to strike you down at once.

... perhaps it will be a little more peaceful for a while.

And I see the swarm is quick to replace its fallen. Come on, then, the three of you. The three you're replacing were quite underwhelming, but perhaps you'll do better. It's not likely, of course, but perhaps you will surprise me.

Let's see what you've got, shall we?

LET ME OUTTTTTTTTTTTTT

please? Pretty please?