Eifie's Definitely 100% Legit Serious Mafia Game

You are King Fumblefingers and you are a member of the lol keldeo faction. For purposes of win conditions, you are considered a threat to both the town and the mafia (even though you're basically totally nonthreatening and your role is a complete joke).

As king of the realm, you are privy to the Classified Information that all the other roles in this game are a bunch of bullshit taken from a random generator because Eifie thought it would be hilarious to make a bastard game where everyone thinks their roles might do something but it turns out they're all mostly meaningless. You also know that nothing bad will actually happen if people claim their roles. If you mention or hint at this information to anyone you will be immediately modkilled and lose the game.

You also really like fruit. You know that there are other abilities in the game besides your own that can give out pieces of fruit. If at any point in the game each living player (including yourself) possesses at least one piece of fruit, you will win and leave the game victorious. You cannot win the game while dead.

You are in charge of King Fumblefingers' Guard. At the start of the game you are the only member. Members of the Guard have a private chat ([URL REDACTED]) which they may use to communicate at any time. The Guard chat is anonymous: members will not know each other's names and must post in it using only their role names. For example, you must use the name King Fumblefingers when you post in the Guard chat. (You are not required to put in any additional effort to hide your identity.) If you die or leave the game, the Guard will be disbanded.

You have access to the following abilities, of which you may use one per night:

• Trick: Once per night, you may give out one piece of fruit to a random player for each living member of King Fumblefingers' Guard.
• Redistribute*: Once per night, you may take a piece of fruit from your target and give it to someone else. That someone else may be yourself.
• Passive: At the end of each night, a random living player will be added to King Fumblefingers' Guard. (This ability is always in effect and does not prevent you from using another ability at the same time.)
• Passive: At the end of each day and night, you will be told how many pieces of fruit each player possesses at that time. (This ability is always in effect and does not prevent you from using another ability at the same time.)
• Passive: The first time you would die (including by lynch), if you are in possession of at least one piece of fruit, you will drop all your fruit instead of dying. (This ability is always in effect and does not prevent you from using another ability at the same time.)

You are Convoluted Healer and you are a member of the town. You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated.

You have access to the following abilities, of which you may use one per night:

• Inform: Once per night you can inform everyone targeting you of your target.
• Kill*: Once per night you can kill yourself.
• Investigate: Once per night you can learn the target of your target's target.
• Gift*: Once during the game you can give this ability to a dead player.

For today's event, send me an ~artistic interpretation~ of an iconic tcodf thread/post! It can be a dramatic reading, or a comic, or one of those videos like VM made for Retro Choice Pokémafia, or a shitty MS Paint job, or a dumb meme, or whatever the fuck. It can be as high or low effort as you want.

Some ideas include the time MD received a brain transplant from a sperm whale, or Pokémon Ultraton, or the forum being taken over by a bunch of, uh, extremely interestingly-named bots. Just link me the post and send me the thing.

You can send me your submission over Telegram/Discord if it's easier for uploading the file.

You may collaborate with others on this in the game thread! See here.