allitersonance
Banned
The Oracular Slugma
Against a backdrop of the rubble of Asber's only department store, a little stall has been set up, manned only by a rather bored-looking mollusc. A list of available items has been pinned to the side of the stall alongside prices, and while it doesn't appear that the stall could carry a significant stock of all of the items, it's never out of stock on the items you're about to purchase.
Available items are listed in the following format:
Item (Price/Overhead): Description
Big Root ($5/$2): A gnarled, dried-up old root from an unknown plant. In the presence of some energy fields it will pulse with a faint green aura, as though trying to leech off the energy being gathered. When a pokémon holding this item uses a draining attack against the opponent, it regains health equal to 75% the damage dealt rather than 50%.
Destiny Knot ($5/$2): An ordinary-looking ball of bright red thread. If the pokémon holding this item becomes attracted, the pokémon that used attract on it will become likewise infatuated.
Focus Band ($5/$2): A red sash decorated with a flame motif that imbues the pokémon wearing it with diehard courage and determination. If a pokémon holding this item would faint, there is a 10% chance that it will instead hold on with either 1% health or 1% energy. This item cannot prevent fainting from conditions such as poison or sandstorm, only damage or energy loss caused by direct attack.
Iron Ball ($5/$2): An incredibly heavy chunk of iron ground down into a smooth, shiny sphere. A pokémon holding this item has its base speed cut in half. If a flying or levitating pokémon holds this item, they will be brought to earth and therefore susceptible to ground-type attacks and arena hazards such as spikes.
Lagging Tail ($5/$2): An extremely heavy chain of rocks that is tremendously cumbersome. A pokémon holding this item always moves last within its priority bracket, regardless of speed.
Lax Incense ($5/$2): A heavy, cloying incense that makes pokémon unused to its scent lethargic. All attacks made against a pokémon holding this item have their accuracy reduced by 5%.
Mental Herb ($5/$2): A bitter-tasting, light blue leaf that brings a pokémon back to itself with a shock when chewed. A pokémon may consume this item to cure itself of infatuation.
Quick Claw ($5/$2): A light, sharp claw that can, on occasion, prod even the laziest of pokémon into a startling display of speed. There is a 10% chance that the holder of this item will move first within its priority bracket, regardless of speed.
Shed Shell ($5/$2): The discarded carapace of an unknown bug pokémon that is easy to wriggle out of. A pokémon holding this item can escape from entrapping moves, such as rock tomb, sand tomb, and mean look, once without difficulty.
Smoke Ball ($5/$2): A compound of smoke-generating chemicals contained within a thin membrane that is easily pierced. Once per battle, a pokémon holding this item may use it to create an effect identical to smokescreen. The use of this item does not cost an action.
Sticky Barb ($5/$2): Metal burrs that cling to the skin of any pokémon that brushes against them, digging in painfully. The pokémon holding this item takes 1% damage per action, but if an opponent makes a contact attack against it, that opponent takes 3% in recoil damage and acquires Sticky Barb as a hold item if they are not already holding something.
White Herb ($5/$2): The leaf of a white herb. Its strong, minty taste can distract a pokémon from adversity when it is chewed. When a pokémon's stats fall, it may consume this item to negate the drop. This item cannot restore status after an attack that completely resets a pokémon's statistics, such as haze or heart swap, however.
Absorb Bulb ($8/$4): This dessicated bulb will greedily soak up any water is exposed to and become a tasty and nourishing snack for a pokémon. The first time a pokémon holding this item is struck by a water-type attack, they will be considered to have the water absorb ability as the bulb soaks up the moisture and then have their special attack raised by one stage as they consume the item.
Air Balloon ($8/$4): A fragile helium balloon that can lift even the heaviest pokémon into the air. However, even a weak attack will pop it. As long as the balloon is intact, the pokémon will be considered to have the levitate ability. It pops and becomes useless if its holder is struck by a damaging attack.
Binding Band ($8/$4): A stretchy elastic band that helps its holder squeeze the life out of a trapped opponent. This effectively doubles the damage dealt by the consecutive damage dealt by trapping attacks such as wrap and fire spin.
Brightpowder ($8/$4): Small flakes of a highly reflective material that can be scattered over a pokémon to dazzle opponents. All attacks made against a pokémon using this item have their accuracy reduced by 10%.
Cell Battery ($8/$4): An old, dry battery that can absorb one more jolt of electricity before breaking. The first time the holder of this item is struck by an electric-type attack, they are considered to have the volt absorb ability as the battery draws in the electricity. Their attack then rises by one stage as they draw power out of the battery, whereupon it breaks.
Focus Sash ($8/$4): A bright red sash that can mitigate an incredibly powerful attack enough for the wearer to survive. It only works once before crumbling to dust. If a pokémon holding this item would be knocked out by an attack that deals over 15% damage, it instead hangs on with 1% health.
Grip Claw ($8/$4): A wicked hook connected to an extensible, spring-like stem that can be wound around an opponent to immobilize them and make it even more difficult for them to escape from tough situations. Trapping attacks, such as whirlpool or sand tomb, used by a pokémon holding this item, last for a full round longer than usual (between five and eight actions total).
Light Ball ($8/$4): A glowing yellow orb that fizzes and crackles with electricity. When held by pikachu, it increases damage dealt by all attacks by 1% after all other modifiers have been applied. Volt tackle causes half the recoil damage so long as this item is held.
Lucky Punch ($8/$4): A spring-loaded punching fist that can be used to startle opponents, leaving them open for attack. When held by chansey, all attacks have a base critical hit domain two greater than normal.
Metalpowder ($8/$4): A fine, glittering purple powder that can be scattered over a ditto to greatly increase its viscosity and the hardness of its outer membrane. When held by ditto, reduces damage dealt to that pokémon by all attacks by 1%.
Power Herb ($8/$4): A bold red leaf that gives a short, incredible burst of energy when chewed. When a pokémon uses an attack that would ordinarily require catastrophic energy use (hyper beam, giga impact, frenzy plant, etc.), a pokémon may consume this item to use such an attack with only half the normal energy consumption.
Quickpowder ($8/$4): A fine, glittering blue powder that can be scattered over a ditto to greatly decrease its viscosity and allow it to perform faster transformations. When held by ditto, doubles the holder's base speed.
Rocky Helmet ($8/$4): A yellow helmet with jagged bits of stone jutting out of it, which a pokémon can use to intercept an opponent's attacks. If the holder of this item is struck by a contact attack, the attacker takes 2% recoil damage. 
Scope Lens ($8/$4): A targeting aid that helps a pokémon zero in on its opponent's weak point. Attacks made by a pokémon holding this item start in a critical hit domain one higher than usual.
Shell Bell ($8/$4): A bell made out of a seashell that gives a soothing chime whenever its wearer makes an abrupt movement. Whenever a pokémon holding this item uses a physical contact attack, it receives 1/8th the damage dealt with that attack back as health.
Stick ($8/$4): A particularly fine leek that only the best farfetch'd warriors can wield. When held by farfetch'd, all that pokémon's attacks have a base critical hit domain two greater than normal.
Thick Club ($8/$4): An ancient, heavy bone polished by years of use as a weapon. Such clubs are passed down through the most powerful warrior lines of cubone and marowak. When held by cubone or marowak, all the holder's physical attacks deal 2% more damage after all other bonuses are applied.
Wide Lens ($8/$4): A durable magnifying glass that helps the pokémon holding it draw a bead on its opponent and see through illusions. The accuracy of moves used by a pokémon holding this item is increased by 10%.
Zoom Lens ($8/$4): A special targeting device that zooms in on a pokémon that comes within its range, helping the pokémon holding it to make attacks against that target. If the holder of this item moves after their target in an action, the accuracy of its next attack on that target is increased by 20%.
Black Sludge ($10/$6): A chunk of disgusting, half-congealed muck. If a poison-type pokémon holds this item, it will regain 1% health per action. If a steel-type pokémon or a pokémon with immunity holds this item, it will have no effect. Any other pokémon that holds this item will take 1% damage per action.
Damp Rock ($10/$6): A mysterious stone that is always covered in a thin slick of water, even in extremely dry conditions. Rain dance costs 2% less energy to use and lasts for a round longer than it ordinarily would.
Eject Button ($10/$6): An item to be used in case of emergency, the eject button remotely controls a pokémon's poké ball's capture beam. At any time during battle the holder may press the button to be immediately recalled to its poké ball. However, this item will only work once.
Eviolite ($10/$6): A hunk of pinkish crystal that lends a strange power to pokémon that have not fully evolved. If the holder of this item could evolve further, it takes 1% less damage from all attacks.
Flame Orb ($10/$6): An orb that glows an angry red, searing hot to the touch. A pokémon holding this item will be inflicted with a burn at the end of each round. If it already has a burn (or is immune to burning), this item has no effect.
Heat Rock ($10/$6): A mysterious stone that is always warm to the touch, even in extremely cold environments. Sunny Day costs 2% less energy for a pokémon holding this to cast and lasts for a round longer than normal.
Icy Rock ($10/$6): A mysterious stone that is always painfully cold to the touch, even in extremely hot environments. Hail costs 2% less energy for a pokémon holding this item to perform and lasts for a round longer than normal.
Leftovers ($10/$6): A bag of snacks that a pokémon can nibble on in a spare moment. A pokémon holding this item recovers 2% health per round it is in battle.
Light Clay ($10/$6): A greenish lump of clay that sparkles in the light and lends a strange energy to barrier-forming attacks. If a pokémon holding this item uses reflect or light screen, the barrier lasts for eight actions instead of five, with the final three actions requiring no additional energy to maintain.
Red Card ($10/$6): A card imbued with a bit of a referee's power. The holder of this item may, after being struck by an attack, choose to unlock the red card's power and ban that attack for the duration of the match.
Ring Target ($10/$6): A target that, when placed on a pokémon, provides a place for opponents to target and strike through its natural defenses. The holder of this item has all its type-related immunities nullified. However, immunities granted through abilities such as levitate are unaffected.
Smooth Rock ($10/$6): A mysterious stone that has been ground down by the elements for millions of years, giving it a smooth and almost polished finish. A pokémon holding this item uses 2% less energy to perform sandstorm, and the sandstorm created lasts a round longer than usual.
Toxic Orb ($10/$6): An orb that glows a disgusting purple, disconcertingly slick and slimy to the touch. A pokémon holding this item will be inflicted with bad poison at the end of each round. If it is already badly poison or immune to the poison status, this item takes no effect.
Amulet Coin ($15/$9): A gleaming gold charm from a meowth that can magically generate coins in battle a la payday. These can be sold after the battle for extra money. For each pokémon holding this item that a trainer sent out in a single battle, they will gain $3 more in prize money when the battle ends.
EXP Share ($15/$9): A bizarre device worn on a pokémon's head that bristles with wires and rods of unknown purpose. If this item is equipped to any number of pokémon in a trainer's active squad that is not used in a battle, those pokémon split the EXP earned by any pokémon that battles evenly, rounded down. Thus, if a pokémon that fights would earn 2 EXP and one of its teammates has an EXP share, it instead earns one and the holder of the EXP share earns one. If the fighting pokémon would instead earn one EXP, neither gets anything at the end of the battle.
Lucky Egg ($15/$9): A nondescript egg that came from a chansey's pouch and is supposedly filled with luck. When a pokémon battles holding this item, all of its KO's count for double for the purpose of evolution.
Soothe Bell ($15/$9): A minute jingle bell that tinkles merrily whenever the pokémon holding it moves, keeping it cheerful and relaxed. For the purposes of happiness evolution, a pokémon holding this item will treat every instance of being used in battle as a win, even if it failed to score a KO.Tills:
Purchase ------------- Price ------ Overhead ----- Profit
The Omskivar ------------- 8 ------------- 4 ---------- 4
blazheirio889 ----------- 15 ------------- 9 ---------- 6
Mr. Fancy Pants --------- 15 ------------- 9 ---------- 6
allitersonance ----------- 9 ------------- 9 ---------- 0
I liek Squirtles -------- 15 ------------- 9 ---------- 6
Total ------------------- 62 ------------ 40 --------- 22
Accounting History:
Tills turned in ------ Revenue ---- Overhead ----- Profit
17 AUG 2008 --------------- 10 ----------- 4 ---------- 6
28 OCT 2009 -------------- 227 --------- 161 -------- 116
05 MAR 2011 -------------- 774 --------- 448 -------- 326
24 SEP 2011 -------------- 823 --------- 485 -------- 338
23 NOV 2011 -------------- 296 --------- 173 -------- 123
25 DEC 2011 -------------- 413 --------- 231 -------- 182
29 FEB 2012 -------------- 316 --------- 202 -------- 114
Total ------------------- 2859 -------- 1404 ------- 1205
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