• Welcome to The Cave of Dragonflies forums, where the smallest bugs live alongside the strongest dragons.

    Guests are not able to post messages or even read certain areas of the forums. Now, that's boring, don't you think? Registration, on the other hand, is simple, completely free of charge, and does not require you to give out any personal information at all. As soon as you register, you can take part in some of the happy fun things at the forums such as posting messages, voting in polls, sending private messages to people and being told that this is where we drink tea and eat cod.

    Of course I'm not forcing you to do anything if you don't want to, but seriously, what have you got to lose? Five seconds of your life?

Random poems.

Featherfur

Warriors fanatic and proud of it! >=3
Randomly thought up,
These are my poems.
I don't really care
If you don't like them,
But I do care
If you help me fix some.
----------
We take to the skies,
One by one.
No one knows where we go,
But we always find our way home.
We are Drifblim.
 
I like that one. It gives me a good picture. If you wrote another one, a bit longer of a poem would be nice :3
 
Thanks! I'll ask my 5th grade teacher for this one poem that I made for class. It was pretty good. I got an A. X3
 
It reads as if you've put little to no effort into it, which -- as far as I can tell -- you haven't.
 
What exactly is wrong with them, as in, which lines you don't like, and tell me how to fix them.
 
Uh?

I just said I didn't like the whole thing. None of the lines should be kept. You need to put thought into the poem, not just churn it out spontaneously.
 
What? Rhyming does not a good poem make. I see no imagery here; I see words. Like all types of writing, you have to show and not tell.
 
Not to sound rude, but if you don't enjoy reading, then maybe you shouldn't read. Maybe you just don't have the right imagination for reading.
 
If its a random poem, then he's right; you probably didn't put much effort in it. That doesn't necessarily mean it's bad, though. It wasn't the best, but wasn't even close to the worst I've read.
 
At first, there admittedly wasn't much effort, but I spent all day fixing it, so technically, it's a not exactly well thought out poem, yet it was thought out, and definably not the best thing in the world, yet it started out being random, but it turned out OK. Did that make sense?
 
Naturally I don't have the imagination for reading because your writing isn't quality stuff.


And no. That made no sense whatsoever. When you go to write another spontaneous poem maybe you should put some effort into your stubborn refusal to accept criticism as well. c;



W-wait -- you spent all day fixing that? It's five lines accounting to 'drifblim fly aimlessly' -- what have you fixed? What was the original?
 
The original was:

We fly away.
No one knows where we go,
But we always come back.
We are Drifblim.

I actually put a lot of effort into fixing that. It's really only my second decent poem, so that goes to show I don't write poems often, and that I'm no expert. Maybe if I practice more, I could get better.
 
Back
Top Bottom