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Writing competition!!!-5 words.

His anticipation along the trail of the satsuma plants catapulted him to declare war on bunnies.

Good enough?
 
No, it's not. November 1st.

Bach leaned against the back of his chair. "This anticipation doesn't sound right!" In frustration, he hit his gun on its trail. This retailment caused a satsuma to fall off the ceiling, impaling him with the stem. This death catapulted him to the top of every newspaper in the solar system, even the Martian Times.
The next day, some men were playing cricket. Right before the losing team was going to declare, a man shouted to them that Bach had been killed by an orange. In alarm, one of the men hit a ball right into another man's head. The ball imbedded itself in his brain. He died immediately.
Bach and the man were buried next to each other. As you may know, I can make Bach hate people in this story. So he does. Bach's spirit became so enraged, that it dug up the man's body and launched it into a lake. By catapult, of course.

Notice the alternate definitions.
 
[Submission]

Joe looked up at the walls to his left. The ancient citadel of Satsuma Mandarin, had stood for millennia, but now it was crumbling, and little stood now aside from the massive cliff wall which long ago had shielded the road down to the water gate from coastal attacks. The fortress far above was gone, but this wall still stood, with no function or purpose, but holding a commanding position over the new town, standing on the sand dunes which formed after the fortress was built.

Joe felt some anticipation as he headed through the gateway at the foot of the wall and set off up the trail leading steeply up the hill to where his foe was awaiting him. As he reached the summit, Joe saw that the creature was awaiting him. Over 8 feet tall and over 4 feet wide, a deep, blood red in hue and clad in thick metal armour, the leader of the Orcgre clan looked much more imposing that the thin, pale Joe in his mail armour, covered by a cloak showing his blue and gold heraldry. The Orcge carried a huge double-handed axe, which seemed to dwarf Joe's slim sabre.

"You came, human. Good. I, Khat-a.pullt of the Orcge Clan Dagri declare a challenge to you."

"And I, Joe Lanceblade of Derilica will accept, if you are not lying about your name. Who would be called Catapult?"

"Insolent fool! I am Khat-a of the SubClan pullt. Do not insult me. Will you accept the challenge?"

"I will accept."

"Hahahaha. Fool. You think you stand a chance to even scratch me. Very well," called Khat-a, charging forward at full speed towards Joe.

Joe pulled out a large pistol from inside the cloak and shot Khat-a between the eyes. The Orcgre crashed to the floor, dead. Joe stowed the pistol and walked back down the path that lead to the water gate.

[/Submission]
 
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