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The Advertisment Game

mewtini

mewtini

sorry guys, don’t lose
Pronoun
she/her
I'm not one of you major FGers so bear with me!

Basically, one person posts an advertisement for a thing x, and posts a thing y. The next poster makes an ad about thing y, and then posts thing z.

Examples!

Poster A said:
Toothbrushes! The only and best way to get those teeth squeaky-white clean! Brought to you by Cheapo Communications, Inc.

Balloons
Click to expand...

Poster B said:
Need a lift? Fill'er up with these helium balloons, created with Patented Nylon Sacs (tm) and watch your happiness go UP, UP, and AWAY!

Blankets
Click to expand...

And so forth. I'll post the first ad topic:

A Hewlett-Packard laptop
 
HP laptops, the best thing since HP Printers. For all your internet needs.
(lame, I know)

A Sack of Yoghurt with a perpetual sinal infection (cookie if you get the reference)
 
Feeling too good? Our trademark, "Sack of Yoghurt with a perpetual sinal infection," is exactly what it says on the can! One bite or sip or whatever it is you do with yogurt, and you'll be aching till tomorrow! Brought to you by Broplait. Bruh, it is so good, bruh.

Pet Tax Collector
 
Feeling too nice? Do you work at the IRS? If you said yes to both of those questions, do we have the thing for you! Our brand new Pet Tax Collector! A domestic animal that, when properly trained by our experts here at TaxCo Inc, will ruthlessly pursue and collect from each and everyone of those sad sobs you steal from's pet! They charge leash tax, food tax, and on and on. We train a wide array of pets, from dogs to centipedes, so call now for your! Own! Pet tax collectoooor!

Llama spit guards
 
Have you been feeling threatened in your own home? Well, have we got the thing for you! Llama guards that - get this - SPIT at anyone who intrudes your home! We train them lovingly to ensure that you feel safe.

Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any personal damages or injuries that arise from having an undomesticated llama in your home.

Gatorade
 
Oh no! Your pet gator bit its own tail! Again! No need to fear, Gatorade is here! Just make your widdle gator drink our vibrantly colored juice and it'll get better! You can get these miracle medicines for just $19.99! (plus shipping and handling) BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! Call now and you can buy one Gatorade for the price of TWO! This five cent value offer for just the low low price of $38.98! So call now! (offer available in stores)

A machine that turns turds into golden turds.
 
Aren't we all tired of picking up after our dogs just to stink up our garbage can?

-audience screams YES-

I know! That's why we've invented the GoldiTurd 2000! Simply deposit any and all waste into this handy-dandy machine, and it'll convert waste into solid gold! Using our patented Waste-2-Gold standards, it does it in a hygenic and state of the art fashion, taking only a day to do it!

Buy one today for three easy payments of $59.99!

-------

hair extensions
 
Hate your pesky hair? Buy our hair extensions? Your hair will still be pesky, but your terribly discolored and clearly fake extensions, which come in velcro, clip-on, and stitch-to-your-neck, will take all of the attention off your regular hair! Score! Just call 1-800-BADDRUG! (it's the only business phone number I know okay)

Homework
 
Do you love unnecessary work? Do you give a damn about school? Well then try this thing called Homework! It's been proven to make you want to rip your hair out! Visit your local Teacher to pick up your free homework today.

An Invisible Boatmobile.
 
All of you have surely dreamed of having an amphibious car like a super agent. Grazing the waves *view of the sea* or dashing through the roads *car chase scene*. But did you expect it to be... INVISIBLE? *ninja Romulan out of nowhere*. We present you the Invisible BoatMobile! Boat in car in one, with a cloaking device, to satisfy your action hero self! Comes in black, grey, bright green and khaki... if the cloak is down, of course.

A TV with a black-and-green display instead of a screen (like an old mobile phone)
 
Get THE ULTIMATE TV TODAY! It has a 3D black and green display that will keep you entertained for hours on end! You'll never get bored with this tv. Call our toll free number to get one RIGHT NOW.

Dog food :)
 
Hm...

DON'T YOU WANT SOMETHING WORLD-CHANGING?

"Yes!!"

How about... LIFE SAVING?

"YES!!"

And... how about... FUN????

"YEEESSSS!!!!!"

Well, pick up a $199.99 BOX OF NAPKINS AT YOUR LOCAL GROCERY STORE! They can save you from embarrassment when wearing nice clothing (when you spill), that's how they also save your life, and you know WHAT?

"What????"

YOU CAN MAKE THEM FUN BY GETTING.... A DORA THE EXPLORER PRINT ON THEM!!!!!
 
(Gonna pretend audrey didn't mess up the game flow)
Are you tired of giving your dog actually GOOD food? Do you want to get grease on your hands from something dry? Then you need DOG FOOD! This patented technology will make your dog hate you and make you smudge your screen after you make your dog choke down this crap we found growing on the wall!

47 copies of Sonic '06
 
Ever just have that nagging feeling that there's something out there just waiting for you to come so it can enhance your life? Do you wanna make it big on the internet, to have tens of adoring fans demanding you play the BEST game in existence? Have YOU ever wanted to be grump - er, I mean, the next big Youtube celebrity star?

Well, put down that sense of morality and get to playing SONIC 06, the hippest installment to the Sonic to ever demand all your time and sanity to play this 20 hour game! Fans will RAVE about your bold choice to - pfffft i'm sorry it's just, a twenty hour game and it's a, it's a SONIC GAME HAHAHAHAHAHA SEGA ACTUALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA AHAHAHAAAAA

And why stop there? Surely if you're a true blue Sonicman (otherwise referred to as Original Cosplayer Donut Steel), you won't stop at just ONE copy!

Not TWO copies!

Not FORTY-EIGHT copies!

But FORTY-SEVEN copies of SONIC '06, GUARANTEED to take your breath away! Literally! Seriously this will kill you i'm legally obligated to warn y

BUY IT NOW AND YOU'LL BE W̵͓͖̩̥̰̯̬͖̜̘̰͖͙̙̻͙͉̞̤ͥͩ̂͋ͦ͗̾ͯ̃̎ͦ͗̃̌̉̔ͮ́͢A͐̑̂ͫͯ̋̂̋̓͌̓͊̑҉̶̗̰͙̲͕̦͙̣̠̺͔̺̫̜͖͟͡ͅY͎̺̦͉̖̠̙͈̗̬̰͇̭͊̒̈̆͒ͪͬ̾ͧ́͑͐̿̈͌ͩͮ̋͝ͅͅ ̵̧̒ͬͦ̆̓ͮͮ̉͒ͥ̀͡҉̞̞͖̖͕̜̗̘̖͖̖͖͍͔̖̰̖ͅͅPͥ̆͗͊́̇̚҉̷̯͎̳̤͕̬̪͚̭͇̩̞̻͢͡A̢͑̎̓ͩ̿͏̖̣̹̩̥̳̥͉̫̘S̛̛̮̰̙͕̝̹͎ͥͬ̀̒̿ͤͩͥ̀̃̔͒ͭ̑͐̚͜T̸̛̲͔͔̳͚̘̗̭̙̫̳̜̪̫͈̮ͯ͑̽̿̐̉ͭ͐ͣ̅̓̋̍̾̿ͣͫ͡ͅ ̌̾͑͋͐̈ͪ̇̐ͧͯ͑̿͡҉̘̣̬̙͇̭Ç̢̡͕̗̠̠̹̱̦͓̗̗ͫ̋͛̍ͯͧͫ̇̑̐̽ͪ̚͢͡Ó̴̧̎ͪ͒ͪ͌͛̍ͭ̐̚͢҉̼̫͉̺̲̝̙͙̻̖͚̻͉ͅỖ̶̯̫͙͕͍̹͔̗͎̬̱͖͔̃ͦͭ͂̀Ľ̷͕̞̮̠̪̞̘̬͙̎ͨͪͨͮ͊͐̓ͬ͐̋̏͂́͝ͅ



A SlapChop, but like, human size.
 
Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! Are you feeling too happy and content with your video games? Do you think that all video games are amazing, no matter what they are? Then you clearly need Sonic '06! This game is one of the most awful games of all time! It's the perfect gift for those people that just seem "too happy"! And, as a special offer, if you buy one game, we sneak 46 more into your package that are nonrefundable and nonexchangeable, whether you want them or not! Thats 47 or the price of 1! Call and order today!

A Ziplock bag full of dryer lint.
 
Do you want to know what a slapchop is? We might have slipped one into this ziploc bag of dryer lint! But maybe not! Buy one for 100 dollars to find out!

A five dollar bill costing twenty dollars.
 
You know what's the BEST DEAL EVER? LOSING YOUR MONEY!!! SO JUST GO TO YOUR NEAREST ATM AND PAY TWENTY DOLLARS FOR $5!!!!! (Plus interest)


Spiderman dancing
 
giphy.gif


do I really need a pitch here bc really why wouldn't you buy this


A radio without any batteries
 
Do you want something that saves you money (except on your electric bill) and uses up your electricity? (said electric bill). THEN BUY THE RADIO WITHOUT BATTERIES!

Limited time offer. Batteries not included. Order while supplies last.


Mousepads
 
Last edited:
Buy a mouspad! The brand new ultra stylish house for your mouse! Your mouse will LOVE living here! Just $107.4729!

Shoes with actual pumas on the bottom
 
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