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Old 03-12-2013, 10:45 PM
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DragonHeart DragonHeart is offline
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Default Dragonheart's Poems!

Okay I write a lot of poems, usually out of sudden and random inspiration. So I figured instead of making a seperate thread for each one, I would just put them all on one thread. I will add more eventually but so far I have these:
I Am Sadness:

I am sadness
Tall and foreboding
I move slow and silent, like a freezing winter breeze
I have pale skin
and hair that looks as though it were spun from the shadows
I never speak
I only whisper
I am sadness
unwanted
unloved
unneeded
I hide silently around every corner.
Every road.
Every path.
I am sadness.
Under every stair.
In every wind.
I lurk in shadows and alleys.
Waiting.
For someone to turn my corner.
I am sadness.
Under every stair.
In every wind.
I haunt every heart,
Every soul.
I may be dispelled.
But I always come creeping back.


The Battle Of The Elements

Dragon of ice and snow
Dragon of a flaming inferno
they screech and roar
flashing claws, and slicing fangs
one of flame
one of ice
a screaming, roaring, flashing battle
of red and white
they lash and pierce
blood stains the ground
they scorch and freeze
"oh they are so fierce"
into the night they duel
a screaming, roaring battle
of red and white
blood stains the ground
until one has found
that victory has been claimed



Violet
Looks like a dark shadow
Sounds like a howling wind
tastes like sweet taffy
smells like the breez over a frozen lake
feels like warm, deep water

Fear
Feels like a cold gripping wind
looks like a shadowy figure at the end of an ally
smells like a bitter un-ripe apple
tastes like a sour cherry
sounds like a whisper
that becomes a shriek
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Last edited by DragonHeart; 03-24-2013 at 02:45 PM.
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:49 PM
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Default Re: Dragonheart's Poems!

It's actually got a great rhythm and beat; in some areas, I was going to say "use more vivid language," but y'know, it'd screw with the flow of the poem... I think it would help, though, to consider commas here or there. It's a bit direct otherwise, and it'd make the beat even better.
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:50 PM
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DragonHeart DragonHeart is offline
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Default Re: Dragonheart's Poems!

:) thanks for the tips! I will see what I can do to make it better!

EDIT: I had to fix it, I realized it annoys the crap out of me when poems are'nt centered!
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Last edited by DragonHeart; 03-12-2013 at 10:56 PM.
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