I liek Squirtles
sobble squad
- Pronoun
- he
Still don't have a title, which makes me feel bad. So far, I have the Prologue and Chapters 1-3. This was pretty much spur of the moment, so I'll take all the C+C you throw at me.
Prologue
“Order! Order!” screamed the chairman at the delegates.
“Now, can we not discuss this matter as the proper diplomats we are?” A sepulchral silence fell upon the grand hall. The final echoes of the uproar died down, and began to resonate among the room. Rows upon rows of delegates continued as far as the eye could see, each and every one of them embarrassed of their actions. At least 20 more nations had joined the United Nations since the 2000’s, but the most infamous of this group was Akkania.
Akkania was founded on a remote archipelago in the Pacific Ocean. It was located in such a position that neither Asians nor Americans could easily spot it, and if they did, the islands looked much smaller than they actually were. The native people were the Kr’ai, war-like tribesmen always looking for new sources of treasure and riches. Ultimately, this is what led them to massive infighting and the fragmentation of their society.
One fateful day, back when the world was not that young but not that old, the USS Integrity, fresh off the coast of Japan, smashed into some sharp rocks. After several violent storms and winds, it winded up on the island’s shore. About fifty men, with most of their provisions and weapons intact, manned the warship. The crew filed out, muskets in hand, ready for any natives who might try to attack. The Kr’ai, hidden in the shadows, carefully abandoned their posts behind trees and bushes. As they observed the white men, the natives thought they were gods, and the whites were brought back to the village for a feast in their honor. Once they arrived, the feast began. Bowls of fruit, plates of meat, and other foods were piled on the table. The men took their fill until they were satisfied; all except, of course, the captain, who wanted to keep his wits sharp. Eventually, the captain congregated his crew on the Integrity.
“Men,” he said, “according to the tribe, there are many other groups scattered. We shall take this island by force; take their women, their children, and raise a race worthy of praise. We must deceive this tribe; we must convince them to help us achieve our goals. When the time is right, they too will be added to the pile of bodies, but not before they show us how to survive this infernal jungle wasteland” said the captain.
A deafening cheer rose from the crew, excited about their new mission. Immediately after that, a loud battle cry rang through the jungle. The tribe was being attacked!
“Men, to arms!” boomed the captain.
It took a while to get back to the village, but the sailors got there just in the nick of time. The invaders were making their way through the main pathways of the village.
“Ready?” the captain said as he raised his hand. About half the crew got down on one knee, the rest stayed standing up.
“Aim!” he said as the muskets cocked.
“Fire!” a cloud of smoke formed in front of them.
About 10 invading warriors fell. Others had wounds on their arms, legs, and torso. The remainder fled back into the forest. The local tribe, grateful for their rescue, offered anything they wanted; gold, women, land, the locals gesticulated. The captain answered saying he just wanted to learn their ways.
Soon enough, the entirety of the crew knew the ways of the wild. Although some of the natives fell sick and died of illnesses brought by the sailors, they denied everything, and blamed the spirits of the Kr’ai. They were trained so well in their ways, the crew could distinguish good fruit from bad, what to hunt, where to sleep, what to use as medicines. About a year later, the captain congregated the crew one more time. Giving the final directives, each man took their rifles and gunpowder. Then, somberly, they marched towards the village.
The men were dead. Women and children were taken to be raised in the ways of the sailors. From there, the crew went on to slaughter the other tribes on their island. The country known as Akkania slowly began to develop…
“Good evening, fellow delegates and distinguished members of the board,” began the Akkanian delegate, “as we know, we are on the brink of world-wide catastrophe. The only solution? Give in to the Blackhearts’ demands and continue buying their oil, no matter how expensive. They will start a war, no matter how bloody, to protect their God-given oil and the right to set the price” finished the delegate, a glint in his eye. Another delegate, Bjorn Sigurdsson of Norway, stood up.
“Pardon me, fellow delegate, but would it not be a better choice to simply cut back ever so slightly on oil? There is so little left. For almost 300 years we’ve been filling this planet with unnecessary pollution. Should we not protect this planet? It is our God-given gift as well, Akkania” finished Sigurdsson. Once again, a tumult began forming in the room, filling it with innumerable sounds…
Chapter 1-Epifanio
Epifanio, a tall, lanky Puerto Rican guy in his twenties, went to the study in his house. His 6-foot-two frame plunked down into the rolling chair, and he spun a bit before he got down to business. He turned on his custom made computer, built by his own hands, and opened his e-mail. “It has to be custom-made” Roberto, his older brother, would say, “much better than stock computers” and, boy, was he right. Epifanio’s baby, as he called it, had two monitors, and Epifanio went out of his way to get quality parts. At the moment, it was able to run a high-def movie on one screen and a video chat with no lag at all on the other. While his computer loaded his e-mail messages, he made sure his puffy brown hair was as messy as possible. If there was something he hated, it was getting his hair cut. He detested being plonked in a chair, no freedom at all. He touched a small scar behind his ear. Epifanio shuddered; he didn’t want to think about it. Meanwhile Em7 invited him to a video chat. He accepted, and greeted the girl on his screen. She was wearing a pink tank top, with the words ‘Believe’ written in silver glitter; her tidy room served as a backdrop. It was adorned by posters of male actors and boy bands.
“How’s it going, Emma? Is everything fine over there?” asked Epifanio.
“Oh, fine Epi. If by fine you mean that my petition for more strict drilling laws still hasn’t been heard of in over a year. I swear I’ll rip their throats and chop it up and feed it to their spouses and children while those bloody Blackhearts watch. And”, she continued with an evil gleam in her eye, “If they protest I’ll feed their throats to them, as well”.
“Whoa, Emma. Calm down. It’ll just be a matter of time before Parliament accepts your proposal”.
“I hope. Those no-good greedy Blackhearts in Parliament just outnumber us” she protested, “Personally, I find it unbelievable that they’d drill in the South Pole. There are penguins there! Everyone likes penguins. It’s near impossible to hate them, even if you get mauled by one. They’re just little bundles of tuxedos and feathers”. This is part of the reason she likes penguins, because part of their habitat is the ocean. The other part is that they’re penguins, just like some people love baseball and can’t express it in words.
Emma was an English girl, with beautiful golden brown curls. She also had one of the fairest complexions he had ever seen; once, long ago, Epi managed to “accidentally” touch it, and it was so soft it almost felt like a down quilt. And something else that he liked about Emma was the fact that she had proper pronunciation, unlike his English, which was mixed into Spanglish. It’s hard to believe such an attractive girl would hang out with Epifanio, other young Green-backs would say; young Blackhearts would say it was such a loss that Emma was a Green-back. She was quite easy to provoke, and she’d rip the head off just about anyone. Once, Epifanio had heard that she almost killed her seventh grade English teacher with a bottle of glue.“The author said the curtains were blue because they’re goddamned blue!” she’d scream. She actually got quite a few supporters on that campaign; some said even the principal backed her up. Secretly, though, Epifanio had a crush on her ever since they met when they were thirteen, at some math competition. She was just so beautiful, just staring at her eyes would bring back memories of the ocean; with some algae, but still the ocean. Just for a moment, he was transported to that fateful day:
He had gone to New York to participate in the International Math Counts, and he had trained about three hours a day just for these competitions. Once he sat down with the two other kids from Puerto Rico, Epifanio started looking around; the Chinese kids, one with small streaks of gray in his hair; the French kids, each one smelling like freshly baked bread; and the British team, light-skinned kids who had golden brown hair. They looked like and were siblings, and he just couldn’t keep the eyes of the girl.
“Oh, you like that don’t you?” said Noel, a friend of his, once he noticed that he was staring at her, nudging him; “You should make a move. You’re just a Plan B back home”.
At the fifteen minute break, he went straight towards her.
“H-hi. I’m Epifanio R-rivera”.
“Emma Parker, pleased to meet you” she said giving him a stern handshake.
“So how long have you been a mathlete?” asked Emma.
“Not much, this is my first year” answered Epifanio.
“So, Epie-Eepee- can I just call you Epi?” Emma said.
“No problem” Epifanio answered, grinning with renewed confidence of his new nickname. He’d never had one of those; he’d just been Epifanio, the smart kid who barely talked in class. Epifanio, the one who barley went to parties.
“I’m guessing you’ve never had a nickname before” Emma said, squinting at him. Epifanio just stared at her in surprise. “Yeah, I can read people like that” she said. Then Epi laughed, and Emma joined in.
“Here’s my Skype” she said as she wrote something on a slip of paper, “and my number, in case you need training” she said, smiling.
“Th-thanks” Epifanio said, blushing and walking away toward his table.
The competition was fierce, and they finished a respectable fifth place against about thirty other countries. The Brits finished third, but Epi wasn’t one to hold grudges. He went to talk to Emma, and was greeted with a “Good game” offering her hand to shake. He shook back, as a good sportsman does.
“Let’s go tour the city. You Brits might want to go see Broadway” said Epifanio jokingly. Emma giggled and nodded. After that, they went on and on around the city, Epifanio recalling every detail his dad told him about most of the things in New York. On the way back, he questioned Emma about the things they saw.
“Marvelous, simply marvelous!” she said in her cute British accent, “The view at the Empire State Building and the Rockefeller Center was incredible, and it was hilarious when you fell down the ice rink”.
“Oh shut up” he answered. Ever since then, they’ve maintained contact over the Internet.
Epifanio then snapped back to reality.
“Hello, dummy. Are you even paying attention?”
“Yes, I am. And everything will be fine” Epifanio said in a calm voice.
“Oh, stop kidding yourself. I’ve been trying to create conscience toward the environment- hell, my whole mum’s family has done it since my great-grandma- and people still aren’t convinced. In fact, opposition has risen dramatically, as not being a Blackheart or Green-back seriously hurts people’s social life. Blackhearts only hire Blackhearts, and vice versa” said Emma. “The economy is just one step away from the pits, so people side with the Blackhearts. But, let’s change the subject. I don’t want to be selfish. How are things over there?” she added calmly.
“Okay, I guess. Social networking has seriously helped in the last 60 years or so, but we need something else. We need to convince the U.S. But how?” wondered Epifanio.
A smirk crept up on Emma’s face.
“No. No, no, no, no and no! We will not instigate an armed revolution.” Epi protested.
“Who said it’s armed? We just need the support of the U.S, and we’ll be set, as I’ve often said. If war erupts, so be it. The world has already beaten us to it. Egypt is already beating the crap out of itself! I won’t be surprised if the U.S splits itself again for the second time in 200 years” said Emma.
Epi sighed. “I guess I could try to contact the resident commissioner. No promises. That guy is a douche; he even turns his head away, if he sees someone with skin like mine” he answered, pointing to his copper skin.
Emma clapped like a little girl. “Yay! Finally you decide to cooperate!” she said as a knock on the door was heard.
“Shit, my dad’s arrived. You know he’s one of those extreme Blackhearts. Talk to you later” Emma said as she turned off the computer. Epifanio wondered: how could she deal with a Blackheart dad? Surely he must’ve noticed her Green-back activity. Then again, she hid the fact that she was pretty much a serial killer, minus the killing part. So he trusted her to not give anything away and, knowing her, somehow make an appearance in the news. He also pondered why her father and mother had married, and still hadn’t divorced; they were on opposite sides of the conflict. Perhaps her mom died, perhaps she had kept her alignment a secret; but whatever it was, Emma’s ability at keeping secrets came from her.
Prologue
“Order! Order!” screamed the chairman at the delegates.
“Now, can we not discuss this matter as the proper diplomats we are?” A sepulchral silence fell upon the grand hall. The final echoes of the uproar died down, and began to resonate among the room. Rows upon rows of delegates continued as far as the eye could see, each and every one of them embarrassed of their actions. At least 20 more nations had joined the United Nations since the 2000’s, but the most infamous of this group was Akkania.
Akkania was founded on a remote archipelago in the Pacific Ocean. It was located in such a position that neither Asians nor Americans could easily spot it, and if they did, the islands looked much smaller than they actually were. The native people were the Kr’ai, war-like tribesmen always looking for new sources of treasure and riches. Ultimately, this is what led them to massive infighting and the fragmentation of their society.
One fateful day, back when the world was not that young but not that old, the USS Integrity, fresh off the coast of Japan, smashed into some sharp rocks. After several violent storms and winds, it winded up on the island’s shore. About fifty men, with most of their provisions and weapons intact, manned the warship. The crew filed out, muskets in hand, ready for any natives who might try to attack. The Kr’ai, hidden in the shadows, carefully abandoned their posts behind trees and bushes. As they observed the white men, the natives thought they were gods, and the whites were brought back to the village for a feast in their honor. Once they arrived, the feast began. Bowls of fruit, plates of meat, and other foods were piled on the table. The men took their fill until they were satisfied; all except, of course, the captain, who wanted to keep his wits sharp. Eventually, the captain congregated his crew on the Integrity.
“Men,” he said, “according to the tribe, there are many other groups scattered. We shall take this island by force; take their women, their children, and raise a race worthy of praise. We must deceive this tribe; we must convince them to help us achieve our goals. When the time is right, they too will be added to the pile of bodies, but not before they show us how to survive this infernal jungle wasteland” said the captain.
A deafening cheer rose from the crew, excited about their new mission. Immediately after that, a loud battle cry rang through the jungle. The tribe was being attacked!
“Men, to arms!” boomed the captain.
It took a while to get back to the village, but the sailors got there just in the nick of time. The invaders were making their way through the main pathways of the village.
“Ready?” the captain said as he raised his hand. About half the crew got down on one knee, the rest stayed standing up.
“Aim!” he said as the muskets cocked.
“Fire!” a cloud of smoke formed in front of them.
About 10 invading warriors fell. Others had wounds on their arms, legs, and torso. The remainder fled back into the forest. The local tribe, grateful for their rescue, offered anything they wanted; gold, women, land, the locals gesticulated. The captain answered saying he just wanted to learn their ways.
Soon enough, the entirety of the crew knew the ways of the wild. Although some of the natives fell sick and died of illnesses brought by the sailors, they denied everything, and blamed the spirits of the Kr’ai. They were trained so well in their ways, the crew could distinguish good fruit from bad, what to hunt, where to sleep, what to use as medicines. About a year later, the captain congregated the crew one more time. Giving the final directives, each man took their rifles and gunpowder. Then, somberly, they marched towards the village.
The men were dead. Women and children were taken to be raised in the ways of the sailors. From there, the crew went on to slaughter the other tribes on their island. The country known as Akkania slowly began to develop…
“Good evening, fellow delegates and distinguished members of the board,” began the Akkanian delegate, “as we know, we are on the brink of world-wide catastrophe. The only solution? Give in to the Blackhearts’ demands and continue buying their oil, no matter how expensive. They will start a war, no matter how bloody, to protect their God-given oil and the right to set the price” finished the delegate, a glint in his eye. Another delegate, Bjorn Sigurdsson of Norway, stood up.
“Pardon me, fellow delegate, but would it not be a better choice to simply cut back ever so slightly on oil? There is so little left. For almost 300 years we’ve been filling this planet with unnecessary pollution. Should we not protect this planet? It is our God-given gift as well, Akkania” finished Sigurdsson. Once again, a tumult began forming in the room, filling it with innumerable sounds…
Chapter 1-Epifanio
Epifanio, a tall, lanky Puerto Rican guy in his twenties, went to the study in his house. His 6-foot-two frame plunked down into the rolling chair, and he spun a bit before he got down to business. He turned on his custom made computer, built by his own hands, and opened his e-mail. “It has to be custom-made” Roberto, his older brother, would say, “much better than stock computers” and, boy, was he right. Epifanio’s baby, as he called it, had two monitors, and Epifanio went out of his way to get quality parts. At the moment, it was able to run a high-def movie on one screen and a video chat with no lag at all on the other. While his computer loaded his e-mail messages, he made sure his puffy brown hair was as messy as possible. If there was something he hated, it was getting his hair cut. He detested being plonked in a chair, no freedom at all. He touched a small scar behind his ear. Epifanio shuddered; he didn’t want to think about it. Meanwhile Em7 invited him to a video chat. He accepted, and greeted the girl on his screen. She was wearing a pink tank top, with the words ‘Believe’ written in silver glitter; her tidy room served as a backdrop. It was adorned by posters of male actors and boy bands.
“How’s it going, Emma? Is everything fine over there?” asked Epifanio.
“Oh, fine Epi. If by fine you mean that my petition for more strict drilling laws still hasn’t been heard of in over a year. I swear I’ll rip their throats and chop it up and feed it to their spouses and children while those bloody Blackhearts watch. And”, she continued with an evil gleam in her eye, “If they protest I’ll feed their throats to them, as well”.
“Whoa, Emma. Calm down. It’ll just be a matter of time before Parliament accepts your proposal”.
“I hope. Those no-good greedy Blackhearts in Parliament just outnumber us” she protested, “Personally, I find it unbelievable that they’d drill in the South Pole. There are penguins there! Everyone likes penguins. It’s near impossible to hate them, even if you get mauled by one. They’re just little bundles of tuxedos and feathers”. This is part of the reason she likes penguins, because part of their habitat is the ocean. The other part is that they’re penguins, just like some people love baseball and can’t express it in words.
Emma was an English girl, with beautiful golden brown curls. She also had one of the fairest complexions he had ever seen; once, long ago, Epi managed to “accidentally” touch it, and it was so soft it almost felt like a down quilt. And something else that he liked about Emma was the fact that she had proper pronunciation, unlike his English, which was mixed into Spanglish. It’s hard to believe such an attractive girl would hang out with Epifanio, other young Green-backs would say; young Blackhearts would say it was such a loss that Emma was a Green-back. She was quite easy to provoke, and she’d rip the head off just about anyone. Once, Epifanio had heard that she almost killed her seventh grade English teacher with a bottle of glue.“The author said the curtains were blue because they’re goddamned blue!” she’d scream. She actually got quite a few supporters on that campaign; some said even the principal backed her up. Secretly, though, Epifanio had a crush on her ever since they met when they were thirteen, at some math competition. She was just so beautiful, just staring at her eyes would bring back memories of the ocean; with some algae, but still the ocean. Just for a moment, he was transported to that fateful day:
He had gone to New York to participate in the International Math Counts, and he had trained about three hours a day just for these competitions. Once he sat down with the two other kids from Puerto Rico, Epifanio started looking around; the Chinese kids, one with small streaks of gray in his hair; the French kids, each one smelling like freshly baked bread; and the British team, light-skinned kids who had golden brown hair. They looked like and were siblings, and he just couldn’t keep the eyes of the girl.
“Oh, you like that don’t you?” said Noel, a friend of his, once he noticed that he was staring at her, nudging him; “You should make a move. You’re just a Plan B back home”.
At the fifteen minute break, he went straight towards her.
“H-hi. I’m Epifanio R-rivera”.
“Emma Parker, pleased to meet you” she said giving him a stern handshake.
“So how long have you been a mathlete?” asked Emma.
“Not much, this is my first year” answered Epifanio.
“So, Epie-Eepee- can I just call you Epi?” Emma said.
“No problem” Epifanio answered, grinning with renewed confidence of his new nickname. He’d never had one of those; he’d just been Epifanio, the smart kid who barely talked in class. Epifanio, the one who barley went to parties.
“I’m guessing you’ve never had a nickname before” Emma said, squinting at him. Epifanio just stared at her in surprise. “Yeah, I can read people like that” she said. Then Epi laughed, and Emma joined in.
“Here’s my Skype” she said as she wrote something on a slip of paper, “and my number, in case you need training” she said, smiling.
“Th-thanks” Epifanio said, blushing and walking away toward his table.
The competition was fierce, and they finished a respectable fifth place against about thirty other countries. The Brits finished third, but Epi wasn’t one to hold grudges. He went to talk to Emma, and was greeted with a “Good game” offering her hand to shake. He shook back, as a good sportsman does.
“Let’s go tour the city. You Brits might want to go see Broadway” said Epifanio jokingly. Emma giggled and nodded. After that, they went on and on around the city, Epifanio recalling every detail his dad told him about most of the things in New York. On the way back, he questioned Emma about the things they saw.
“Marvelous, simply marvelous!” she said in her cute British accent, “The view at the Empire State Building and the Rockefeller Center was incredible, and it was hilarious when you fell down the ice rink”.
“Oh shut up” he answered. Ever since then, they’ve maintained contact over the Internet.
Epifanio then snapped back to reality.
“Hello, dummy. Are you even paying attention?”
“Yes, I am. And everything will be fine” Epifanio said in a calm voice.
“Oh, stop kidding yourself. I’ve been trying to create conscience toward the environment- hell, my whole mum’s family has done it since my great-grandma- and people still aren’t convinced. In fact, opposition has risen dramatically, as not being a Blackheart or Green-back seriously hurts people’s social life. Blackhearts only hire Blackhearts, and vice versa” said Emma. “The economy is just one step away from the pits, so people side with the Blackhearts. But, let’s change the subject. I don’t want to be selfish. How are things over there?” she added calmly.
“Okay, I guess. Social networking has seriously helped in the last 60 years or so, but we need something else. We need to convince the U.S. But how?” wondered Epifanio.
A smirk crept up on Emma’s face.
“No. No, no, no, no and no! We will not instigate an armed revolution.” Epi protested.
“Who said it’s armed? We just need the support of the U.S, and we’ll be set, as I’ve often said. If war erupts, so be it. The world has already beaten us to it. Egypt is already beating the crap out of itself! I won’t be surprised if the U.S splits itself again for the second time in 200 years” said Emma.
Epi sighed. “I guess I could try to contact the resident commissioner. No promises. That guy is a douche; he even turns his head away, if he sees someone with skin like mine” he answered, pointing to his copper skin.
Emma clapped like a little girl. “Yay! Finally you decide to cooperate!” she said as a knock on the door was heard.
“Shit, my dad’s arrived. You know he’s one of those extreme Blackhearts. Talk to you later” Emma said as she turned off the computer. Epifanio wondered: how could she deal with a Blackheart dad? Surely he must’ve noticed her Green-back activity. Then again, she hid the fact that she was pretty much a serial killer, minus the killing part. So he trusted her to not give anything away and, knowing her, somehow make an appearance in the news. He also pondered why her father and mother had married, and still hadn’t divorced; they were on opposite sides of the conflict. Perhaps her mom died, perhaps she had kept her alignment a secret; but whatever it was, Emma’s ability at keeping secrets came from her.
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