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QUICK! Give me suggestions for taking over the world!

Chimera

Feeling purple today~
So, I'm writing a short script for my summer camp.

And it's going to involve someone explaining their plan for world domination!

But, the thing is, it's due TOMORROW and I'm blanking horribly on what to make the actual plan. D:

So I'm running to you guys for suggestions! The more ridiculous, the better!

... Help me plz?
 
How about:

Giant sumos dropped from very high places soon destroy a buncha stuff, then, in the midst of all the confusion, the planner becomes the President... OF THE WORLD!!!
 
Okay... uh... Harmless footballs are dropped from very high places...Harmless footballs of NIGHTMARISH TOXIC APOCOLYPTIC HELLFIRE!

...Or you could hire Pig Jedis to wreak havoc and threaten the world's leaders at Lightsabre point.
 
Give me a keg of beer, three clowns, two rugby players, twelve chickens and a genetic laboratory and I'll:

-Drink da beer
-Splice the DNA of the clowns, rugby players and chickens together so I get a flying super-clown
-Clone the super-clown to get a super-clown clone army
-???
-PROFIT!
 
Suspended animation until Alternate dimensions are available, and then steal ALL the technology by your old-school knowledge.
 
If you're going to start with one country, it must be Switzerland. They control all of everyone's valuables, watches and lots of their chocolate!
 
SENDING THE SUPER-CLOWNS TO SWITZERLAND!

Ooh, another plan. This time, it involves a ton of coral, a willing subject, and someone with their heart up for grabs.

And a keg of beer.

1: Let the coral grow.
2: Place all three of us in suspended animation, and instructions to wake us up in 500 years.
3: Carve the coral into a fully working TARDIS.
4: Transplant the donor heart into the other guy, giving him two hearts.
5: Augment the brain of the patient with parts from the donor's brain.
6: DRINK DA BEER
7: Go to Switzerland, and help the super-clowns.
 
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