Uncomfortable Subjects

There has been a bit of a writing drought on my hard drive lately, so I figured I should remedy it by trying, once again, to plan and write a large-scale story. I went through planning out the entire plot (including its progression, settings, characters, etc.) to the point where I could easily begin a first draft of the story itself without feeling too spontaneous. There is a slight problem, though - my story entirely revolves around a woman who was openly executed due to her witchcraft. The entire prologue glimpses into this execution, and in order to keep it historically accurate, I've had to write some stuff I'm quite uncomfortable with. This includes, but is certainly not limited to, priests saying the Our Father as she is hanged. I was visibly uncomfortable as I wrote this section, sometimes even twitching as I struggled to make it through this small scene. It is a vital area of the story, too.

That may sound a bit dramatic, but it does bring up an interesting question: How do authors deal with having to write about subjects they personally are not fond of? Have you ever had to revise a scene because it involved something you weren't comfortable writing? How did you deal with it; or, if you haven't experienced this, how would you deal with it? I'd be intrigued by any insight you could be provide. It would be much appreciated.

Well, personally, I kind of enjoy writing scenes of events that I find disturbing, most obviously the execution scenes I've been making up since I was a kid despite that - hell, I'd go as far as to say because - the death penalty absolutely horrifies me. For that in particular, the very fact it disturbs me so much makes me love to write it, somehow.

Now, I'm not sure precisely how you're uncomfortable with the subjects in question, but the only time I have found myself actually hesitant to write a scene because I found it disturbing was the rape in The Fall of a Leader, in which, since I don't assume you've read it, the rapist is the "protagonist", or at least the POV character of that part, the victim is essentially underage, and just to make it more difficult, both are nonhuman. I pretty much dealt with that by avoiding all of the disturbing detail and focusing instead on purely getting the point across, although I still felt a bit sickened while writing the scene and what came before it. In your case, I would probably write the scene focusing on the priests and every line of Our Father, while not including the details of the hanging except for describing her hanging body afterwards or something in that direction.

Often, though, when the intention of the scene is to disturb the reader (I'm not sure how you were thinking of yours, but if I were writing that scene, I suppose that would be my intended effect), it is most powerful when you just let yourself be thoroughly disturbed by it yourself.

Butterfree said:

Now, I'm not sure precisely how you're uncomfortable with the subjects in question,

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The subject in question is not the fact that she practices witchcraft or anything; rather, it's the describing the brutal murder itself.

Then I'd do what she said and just generalize it and get it done, at least for now. Freaking yourself out over how disturbing the scene is could potentially cause some sloppy writing or discouragement, and while it is a first draft anyway you do still want to be at least a little comfortable with what you wrote. I know that when I start to go into detail and feel like I'm not getting the point across I get disheartened (that's more a personal perseverance problem than anything else, but dunno, maybe you're the same way). Gloss over it for now and get the bare necessities down. Writing the important stuff first should make it easier to go into detail later, when you've worked up a little more courage or at least have more ideas about how you really want to do it.

And anyway, not every disturbing scene has to be described in blindingly gory detail. Sometimes it's just creepier if parts of it are left to your imagination. That's why off-stage murders and violence in things like plays can still work--the scary implication is enough to provoke a very scary mental image, probably tailored to just what about that scene would be scariest for the individual picturing it. Don't know if that made any sense, but maybe try approaching it that way?

See, I don't actually have this problem. I'm able to detach myself from pretty much anything - and I don't know how or why. It's a good thing, though. Sometimes.

I guess I know what you mean, though. You just have to write it in or not at all.

who cares you are writing the story if it's murder just put a censorship label on it and be done

I have an open mind, words don't usually get to me in a way they can disturb me or influence what I write, so I can honestly say I've never had that problem. If I do have it some time I guess I'll try to overcome it and don't let it affect me. I enjoy giving juicy details of gore and morbid situations, bloody murders, slaughters, tortures, etc.

Write around it if you feel completely incapable of writing it, but I've noticed that I sometimes can get into headspaces where I don't actually care whether or not something would be agh to write about normally. Your mileage may vary, of course, but :/ you could maybe try if you're really tired and/or apathetic, so. Anything that gives you distance from it.

If it's the combination of bits that's giving you trouble, you could try writing them separately and patching them together at some point.

Funnily enough, my last year's NaNo involved a fairly similar scene, but then I relish writing things like that, so I can't really empathise on that count.

Something like Butterfree's example, on the other hand, would be uncomfortable territory for me, and the way I would deal with that, personally, is by not writing it at all. In fact, the idea would never really strike me, because I wouldn't enjoy writing it, and that seems to me to be missing the point of writing.

I have to wonder, if it makes you so uncomfortable, why you are choosing to write what you are, though. I mean, I suppose it's good to get out of your comfort zone every now and then, but if it actually bothers you so much to write that when writing is supposed to be a fulfilling, enjoyable pastime... eh, but I guess you have your reasons.

The first time I wrote something disturbing like that I almost made myself throw up. Then I learned a few things to help myself out, they might work for you.

The basic thing is disconnectiong yourself from humanity, don't write it as the author of a book, put yourself into a state of mind where you are something else, try putting yourself into the mind of the executioner, the one ordering the execution, or the bloodthirsty crowd who is excited and enjoys watching as the chericter is dangled at the end of a rope. Try to be indefferent to the chericter that's being killed, and focus on the killing.

Wow. I didn't know people could take things like these so seriously. I mean, it's only fiction! Violent rape; brutal, gory murders; the eating of someone's eyes you've just gouged out... I mean, it's not happening for real, so why let it get to you?

If it was something happening in real life, I could probably understand it. (Although even in reality, things like these hold a certain beauty.) But when it's all in your mind...

Just... wow. I had no idea people could feel this way.