Ninjas Sister

Er herm. Yes. This was created after a friend of mine offered to send his sister here. The chapters are all going to be ridicolously short, and it is a comedy.

My friends sister will be known as Mel, my new tormenter.
I will be known as Me. When called or spoken to i will be known as Char. This is not my real name.
My mom wil be known as Mom.
My brother will be known as Brother.
My friend will be known as either Ninja or He.
My neihbor will be known as Rick.

All grammar mistakes were intended. Spelling ones are not, and there shouldn't be very many after the first chapter. I will be including high ammounts of randomness. have fun. and please review with what you think.

that is all i have to tell you currently. here is the story, or script, i suppose.

CHAPTER ONE: THE BOX

Mom: Sarah, what is this giant box on the doorstep?

Me: Oh, Ninja sent me his sister, that must be her finally. It took long enough, i hope he packed enough food, maybe he should have sent her express..........

Mom: WHAT 0_o!!

Me: Didn't i tell you? We got her into the exchange student program for minors over the summer, isn't that great??!! ^_^

Mom: And he sent her in a BOX?! I didn't agree to this!!

Me: I know, we told the government that she was eighteen and was going to be renting her own apartment over the summer, until school starts. Still technically our responsability, just not in the same house.

Mom: How old is she?

Me: Nine.

Mom: We have to send her back.

Me: I wanna keeeeppp heerrrr!!!! *whine*

CHAPTER TWO: THE HOSPITAL

Me: How was your trip, now that you're awake?

Mel: I WAANNNTT FOOODD!

Me: O_o okay?

Mel: It's all his fault, he knocked me out and threw me in this stupid box! Said something about a surprise and a new school!!!

Me: Yep, that'd be here!

Mel: Who the hell are you?

Me: I talk to him on the computer. It was my idea to send you here.

Mel: *attacks me*

Soon after people come and pull her off:

Nurse: What the hell is going on here?

Me: I told her why she was here and she attacked me!!!

Mel: (In innocent cryie voice) *sniff* she told me i was sent here because my brother hates meeeee. *wail*

Me: No i did not! (aside: even if it's true) I told her that she came to go to a new school!!!

Nurse: (to me) you be quiet! Or i'll kick you out!! (to Mel) It's okay sweetie, I’m sure that your brother doesn't hate you!! (pats on back) do you want something to eat?

Mel: Uh-huh (Still playing innocent)

Nurse: (to me) And if i were you i'd stop telling young children that their siblings, who obviously love them very much, hate them. *bla bla bla scold scold scold* *walks out*

Mel: (turned into bitch from hell) I'm going to get you. In your sleep. *evil cackle* Just you wait, for sending me to............ um where are we?

Me: Indiana, in the U.S.A. No, you don't have a passport, we told the shippers you were a monkey, and the government thinks you're an eighteen year old orphan that was sent here to become a citizen after you finished high school. Did i miss anything?

Mel: Yeah, why was the crate marked with some other weird country, and Florida?

Me: We may have sent you to the wrong addresses a few times, there should be a sticker from Florida and one from Chile.

Mel: I hate your guts.

Me: I'm well aware. But i have the advantage.

Mel: What?

Me: I have a mom with a brain, and an insane brother that argues with everyone.

Mel: How is that an advantage?

Me: You don't know them. I do. welcome to hell.

Did i mention that i will most likely be adding chapters at least once a week, and no, that program does not actually exist, or my friends sister would actually be here.

Chapter three, cerial.

Mom: We really should send her home.

Me: No, we shouldn't.

Mom: Why?

Me: Because i already spend four thousand bucks to get her into this program, and she has to stay in it for three years for me to get a doubled refund, if she passes her classes.

Mom: Where the hell did you find this program? Especally in indiana.

Me: ONLINE!!! YOU CAN FIND ANYTHING ONLINE!!!

Mom: *headesk*

Mel: *walks in, with bowl of cheerios* Why is your mom banging her head on the table?

Me: I told her that i found your program online.

Mel: What program?

Me: The one i signed you up for. Did i mention the fact that you get to stay here for three years?

Mel: Should i kill my brother now, or later?

Me: If he's not in hiding by the time you get back to australia I'll be in shock.

Mel: Good point. So why exactly did he decide to send me here again?

Me: *speaks really fast* I get eight thousand bucks when you're done with the program, and he wanted to get rid of you. So after subtracting everything spent on you here we're going to split the money.

Mel: wait, WHAT?!

Me: Nothing, nothing at all.

Mom: Eat your ceral. Don't bother asking her questions, you'll never get the real answers.

Me: Exactly.

Mel: Everyones name in this stupid script starts with M.

Brother: Nope!

Mel: GAH! *cerial flies across the room* WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!

Brother: I'm brother, obviously.

Mom: what are they talking about? A script?

Me: I'm not sure.

Brother: You're the one writing this, Char.

Me: SHHHHH!!!! They aren't supposed to know!! *pulls out amnesia ray*

Mel: Hey, what are all those let-

Me: *Clamps hand over Mels mouth* This is going to be a long and interesting summer vacation.

Please tell me if i'm funny or if i'm just wasting my time.

Chapter Four, RIBBIT.

*Falling down esclator*

Me: Why. Did. I. Listen. To. YOU!

Mel: Be.Cause. This. was. Your. IDEA!

Me: To. Fall. Down. An. Escelator?

Mel: It. Was. Not. My. Fault!

Me: Was. TOO!

Mel: HOW!

Me: You. Were. The. One. Who. Wanted. To. See. How. Long. It. Would. Take. Someone. To. Fall. To. the. Bottom. of. One. Of. These. Things!

Mel: YOU'RE. THE. ONE. WHO. PUSHED. US. DOWN!!!

Me: Good. Point!

Both hit bottom.

Me: How long did that take? Check your watch.

Mel: We're going to have to do it again. My watch broke.

Me: ...................................... Fine, lets go back up.

Both go up.

Me: Okay, this time we use the clock on the wall.

Mel: Good, now on the count of three...

Both: One, Two......

Me: *pushes Mel*

Mel: YOU. ARE. GOING. TO. DIE.

Twenty minuites of watching her fall later.

Me: Are you okay?

Mel: no.

Me: What's wrong?

Mel: *comes up escelator, punches me in the gut*

Mel: Now i'm better.

Me: Good, want something from the food court? before the security guard throws us out for playing on the escelator?

Mel: Why don't we just start running in the opposite direction?

Me: Good idea.

Both begin running for their lives, and fall down another escalator.

Me: This. Is. Getting. Stupid!!!

Mel: Yes. you. are!!

Escelator is stopped.

Both begin running again, on the bottom floor.

Me: Quick! Into this conviently placed costume store!!

Both duck inside.

Mel: *comes out of dressing room with frog costume on*

Me:................ We're supposed to have disgusies so that we won't be recognised!! not so that we can go trick-or-treating!!!!

Mel: Says the girl who's wearing a mustache.

Me: Shut up. It was either the mustache or i had to find a different disguise.

Mel: You actually look like a guy.

Me: ......................? Er? Thanks, i think? You look like a frog?

Mel: here they come!! *Gets down on al fours and hides behind dressing room curtain*

Me: Here goes my ability to go to the mall.

SG1: SG stands for security guard!! Not Star Gate!!

SG2: Shut up.

SG2: *looks under dressing room curtain*

Mel: RIBBIT!

SG2: Just a frog.

SG1: Boss, i don't think tha......

SG2: It's a frog!!!!! You dare doubt my judgement underling!!!??

SG1: No! Okay, okay, it's a frog!!!!

SG2: Good. Now we shall ask this strange man if he has seen those two girls run by.

SG1: Sir?

SG2: yes?

SG1: ............ you know what, never mind.

SG2: Hello sir!! Have you seen two children with bruises all over their bodies run by? they were caught playing on the escelator!!

Me: They went out to the parking lot, very rude, they knocked me over while i was walking by.

SG2: Thankyou sir!! *runs off singing superhero theme song*

SG1: I should just kick you both out now.

Me: But you won't, will you?

SG1: no. honestly, you two falling down the escealtor gave me at least an hour of down time, and something to laugh at.

Me: Then why do you want to throw us out?

SG1: He's not going to stop singing, or running, until he either falls asleep or catches the wrong person.

Me: Oh.

SG1: Right, well, just don't fall down the escelator anymore. And you may want to get out of here for today. *walks away*

Me: Yeah.............

Mel: RIBBIT!

Me: You can stop that now.

Mel: RIBBIT!!

Me: ..................................

Mel: RIBBIT!!!

end of chapter four.

Chapter five. MMLLLLLAAAAA!

Mel: What's with the title?

Me: I couldn't think of anything, this episode is brought to you by your brother.

Mel: Oh god.

Me: Don't worry, it's actually not that bad.

Mel: What is it?

Me: We have to make Sushi at a Karaoke Concert.

Mel: ................................................................

Me: And we have to ba at the mall in five minutes.

Mel: THE MALL IS HALF AN HOUR AWAY!

Me: Not if i steal some random car off the street and speed.

Mel: O_o You're not serious.

Me: Well, think of it this way, if we get pulled over you get sent home.

Mel: *Runs out to street and smashes window of weird looking hippie van.* HURRY UP!!

Me: Don't be so pushy, I don't even have my permit yet.

Mel: O_O *thinks to self: Oh dear lord what have I done now?*

Me: You're thoughts are annoying. Hurry up, get in.

Mel: You're lucky you're the writer, or i would never do this in a million years.

Me: I know, just buckle up, and duck from cops.

Mel: Why?

Me: Because this whole thing has taken about five minutes, and we only have ten left to get there!!

Mel: I thought we only had five in the first place?

Me: I lied and changed my mind. *floors it*

The car speeds off, screeching out to the highway.

News report on the radio: All of the cops seem preoccupied with chasing some guy in his underwear and socks. The reason all of them are after this guy is because he also robbed a bank, saying that he really needed the cash. Apparently this is true, back to you, Stu.

Stu on the radio(don't eat it!!): Yes, and there also seems to be a maniac teenager driving down the street at a disturbing speed, but since all of the cops are chasing the guy in his underwear, they so far have failed to notice her....

Me: *Turns off radio, looks at mel with evil glint in her eyes*

Mel: What?

Me: Wanna have some fun?

Mel: Isn't that the purpose of the Karaoke thing?

Me: I changed my mind again, we're picking up the bank robber!! *speeds past cops and stops next to underwear guy*

Mel: Oh god.

Me: GET IN THE BACK, QUICK!!

Rob(shut up, it's short and all i could think of): Do you have donuts?

Me: o.0 Maybe? We didn't exactly check before we stole the van.

Rob: *Climbs in back of the van* TO THE CLOTHING STORE!!!!!

Mel: Thank god I’m in the front seat.

Me: yep. Throw him back that strange out fit that just appeared on the floor.

Mel: *throws* Why did the cops randomly stop chasing us?

me: I don't know, lets turn on the radio!

Mel: If you start rhyming everything i'm going to be forced to kill you. *turns on radio*

Radio: The police have been stopped by the FBI, they are supposedly looking for a young girl who goes by the name of Mel. The reason for this sudden search for the missing person, is that although the son knows where she is, the mother of this girl is hysterical, and will not listen to the young mans explanation.

Mel: You really should send me back.

Me: FOR THE THIRD TIME, NO!!

Rob: Dude, you don't have to yell.................. why are you on fire?

Me: I'm a genetic experiment, sometimes that happens.

Mel: You have a tail, and it's on fire...

Me: I'm fully aware.............. But not of where we are.

Mel: SO now you're on fire AND don't know where we are?!

Me: Yep.

Rob: Take a left at the next shrub.

Me: that was very helpful, now where are we?

Rob: I don't know, i just wanted to see if you would fallow my instructions.

Me: Are you still in your underwear?

Rob: No, i put those clothes on.

Me: Good. Because we're almost out of gas. *turns around to talk to rob, crashes into cactus*

Mel: Where did the cactus come from?

Me: I have on clue, but there's a pay phone next to it, anyone have a quarter? I need another one.

Rob: Who the hell uses pay phones anymore?

Me: I think that cell phones are evil. *puts change in phone, calls mom*

Mom: SHE WON"T STOP CALLING ME!!

Me: Hey mom, yeah i know, her mom won't stop calling, i just heard a report on the radio. We have a slight problem...

Mom: Let me guess, it has something to do with you being in jail because you stole that weird van from across the street?

Me: Close, I did take the van, then we picked up some bank robber who was in his underwear, threw some magically appearing clothes at him, listened to the radio, and now we're out in the middle of nowhere because I crashed into a cactus and ran out of gas.

Mom: o-o o_o

Me: Are you there?

Mom: No. This is a recorded message. >_>

Me: Oh. Well, I don't know how to get you here to pick us up since we seem to be in the middle of a desert or something.... mom? MOOOMMM!?

Mel: You ran out of time, and we don't have anymore money, now what?

Me: We find something random out here that we wouldn't expect to and somehow get home.

Rob: HEY!! I found some weird cart, it looks like it will stay together too!

Me: See.

Mel: I hate being in this story.

Rob: What story?

Me: MEL! SHUT UP! There is no story. What's with the cart?

Rob: we could ride in it, but it needs to be pulled by something.

Me: *Looks at mel*

Mel: No. I think you should have to pull it because you're the one who got us in this mess.

Me: BUT-

Rob: Yeah, me too.

Me: You can't do this!!

Mel: Why not?

Me: Because i can't pull that much for one, and for two the van probably has something in it.

Rob: Why should it? It's not like the people who previously owned it had motorcycles and bottled water back there...

Me: :D

****************************************************

Mel: I think this is the longest one you've written!!

Me: SHUT UP!

Rob: What are you two talking about?

Me: The fact that these motorcycles haven't gone down in gas and we've been riding them at a ridiculous speed for three hours now!!

Rob: LOOK! A highway!!

*all ride up to empty highway*

Mel: Lets go left.

Rob: Agreed.

Me: Why left, and why do you keep taking her side?

Rob: Because right will inadvertently lead to a large wall and we'd all crash, leading to our dooms. I always agree with her because she's nine, and you're a teenager.

Mel: *Sticks tongue out at me as we turn left*

Me: LOOK! A TOWN!!

*All ride up to and enter small town*

Me: No one is here.

Rob: Must be a ghost town.

Mel: Aren't those only in old western movies?

Me: Sometimes.

Rob: We seem to be in Peach town. Weird name.

Me: Well, since no one is here we may as well stay the night in one of the buildings.

End of chapter five part one. Yeah. I needed to end it there, so tomorrow I should have the rest of it.

Yeah.........

CHAPTER FIVE PART TWO

Mel: It's your fault we're out here. Fix it.

Me: Gladly, with this time machine. *Points to cardboard box with the word "time machine" on it in sharpie. Rolls eyes*

Rob: You know, that actually might work.

Mel: How could that possible work! We're in the middle of nowhere! That’s cardboard!! You're both nuts!! *Is screaming*

Me: *watches patiently* Are you done now?

Mel: Yes.

Me: Good. Now, since someone siphoned our gas last night, my guess is the vultures, we have to continue walking.

Rob: Or we could use the space time machine-

Me: It's not a Space time machine, it's only a Time machine!

Rob: I wrote Space on it in sharpie.

Me: Oh. Okay. Then yes, we could take the space time machine.

Mel: Or we could just go get our gas back from the vultures.

Rob: ARE YOU NUTS!? they'd eat us alive!

Me: Vultures are scavengers.

Rob and Mel: *stare at Me like I’m growing a second pair of eyes*

Me: What?

Rob: that would explain the gas.

Mel: Why don't we let Rob test the time-

Rob and me: SPACE time.

Mel: *sigh* Okay, the Space time machine, and see if it actually works?

Me: I thought you thought it wouldn't work.

Mel: At the very least it will go at regular speed and travel at a regular pace.

Me: True.

Rob: SWEET! I'm the first to try the Space Time machine!! *Gets under cardboard box* Okay, what do I do now?

Me: Say: yesterday at Eight in the morning, hippie van across the street!

Rob: *repeats what i said*

Mel: *whispers* it's not doing anything!

Me: I know, come on! *Drags down street.*

Mel: What are we doing!?

Me: He was getting weird, so we're leaving him behind.

Mel: what if he figures it out?

Me: he won't.

Mel: Why?

Me: because the Space Time machine just disappeared.

Mel: .......................... what if he comes back?

Me: Remember how i said that it went at regular speed?

Mel: Yeah?

Me: Well, apparently it doesn't. But it should only go forward.

Mel: You sent him to yesterday. What will that do to the machine?

Me: Probably some sort of a black hole time warp.

*both are suddenly surrounded by cars with government labels*

Me: Oh God what now?

Mel: It must be those FBI people.

Agent: You are all under arrest!

Me: Aren't you the security guard from the mall? The non crazy one?

Agent: Shut up. You're the one who hired me for this stupid script.

Me: Isn't the crazy guy supposed to be the FBI agent though? I also just realized that you're the same person as Rob.

Agent: No, he's my twin. You're never actually going to give me a real name, remember?

Me: Oh yeah.

Mel: what do we do now?

Me: There's about to be a convenient sandstorm and we're going to kidnap Agent here.

Agent: Please give me a name.

Me: I can either give you something random from a name generator, or give you something from a book. Extra points if you know the book. (Readers who know get a cookie)

Agent: It doesn't matter, you'll give me a name from a book anyway.

Me: Good point, and it's probably going to change depending on what I’m reading.

Agent: Great.

Me: Your name is now.... erm... hold up a minute, I have to figure out how to spell it.

Mel: You really started something here now. We're never going to get out of this chapter.

Agent: I know. And I’ll never get to actually arrest you two.

Me: Aragorn.

Aragorn: Oh god.

Mel: That sounds vaguely familiar.

Me: It should.

Mel: here comes that sandstorm.

Me: I know.

*Sandstorm hits with a whoosh!*

Me: *steals car, with Aragorn and Mel inside*

Mel: Here we go again.

Me: It could be worse.

Mel: How?

Me: I could have named him Roran.

Aragorn: You just need to shut up now.

Me: Probably.

Mel: So. Let me guess, we're going to drive through this thing and be on a road you recognize, right?

Me: Probably.

*sandstorm ends*

Aragorn: Every chapter i'm in is going to involve the mall, aren't they?

Me: Probably.

Mel: we're at the mall.

me: Probably

Aragorn: i'm getting out.

Me: Bye, i hope you find your brother, we sent him into some sort of time warp.

Aragorn: YOU WHAT!?

Me: you heard what i said.

Aragorn:................................. I give up. *leaves, goes into mall*

Mel: we should head to your house.

Me: probably.

Mel: I wonder what happened to rob, really?

me: Yeah, me too....................

Mel: I just realized that you answered almost everything in the last few lines with Probably.

Me: Probably.

NOT QUITE THE END.

*Four hundred years from now*

Rob: Where am i? *Steps out of box to find himself in the middle of a jungle*

Monkey: *Screeches*

Rob: BANANNASSSS!!!! *Tackles monkey*

END OF CHAPTER FIVE

Hey, this is funny! But what I'm surprised by is that you're from Indiana. That's where I live!! o_o What county?

Also, is the name you made, Aragorn, supposed to be "Eragon"? If not, I don't know where it's from.

Eeveelution said:

Also, is the name you made, Aragorn, supposed to be "Eragon"? If not, I don't know where it's from.

Click to expand...

Have you ever heard of The Lord of the Rings?

Right well...
Production on this story has ended. You will never know what happened to Rob or get to see me make more stupid referances to random books, movies, and comedy bits.
The reason for this is that the person who is Mel, in real life, somehow got ahold of one of the chapters from her brother, and it aparently made her cry. Since it was really just a character based on my knowledge of her brother and a collection of extreme randomness from me, i now feel like an ***hole for making a nine year old cry because of a simple script i wrote just to burn off some randomness from an idea i got while talking to Ninja.
Yes, i know that the sentance above makes no sence, but i'm sure that you know what i mean.
Randomness shall now come in small doses within my other stories.
Except for one-shots.
I have a tendancy to write extremely depressing one-shots, although i have no clue why.

Chapter four was the one she got hold of, if anyone cares.

I can't believe that i made a nine year old cry.
I'm such a freaking jerk.

Awww, that's horrible!! I can't believe it made her cry... *sigh* Maybe you could just tell us the ending or something?

But you're not a freaking jerk. Sometimes we do things without really thinking. I was once suspended on another site for posting without thinking in the boards. After that I avoided the boards for a while. (Luckily the site's mostly a game.) Everyone makes mistakes, and you're no exception. Besides, you never met her in real life. How were you supposed to know what she was really like? Don't worry, she'll get over it. As my social studies/math teacher always says, "Will this matter in ten years?" I doubt it. There's only a .000001% chance that it will.