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  #1  
Old 07-30-2014, 12:30 AM
Shut the Hell Up Shut the Hell Up is offline
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Default An Original Poem

This is one of my first attempts at poetry, so I'm sorry if it's not very good. But hopefully it's not totally crap!

Flying High

Above the fields of Hyrule
Flies Zelda on her lavender unicorn
With her golden hair flowing in the breeze
And her unicorn's tail gently navigating behind.

Her crystal blue eyes, perpetually alert and loving,
Survey her vast land below
As she gazes fondly on the kingdom
Her father entrusted to her care.

Zelda's heart swells with pride
As she continues her journey
And sees her people happy and working hard
And the landscape lush with new spring grass.

As long as she lives, Zelda vows,
She will do all she can to protect her lovely land.
And with her faithful unicorn perpetually by her side,
She will be able to do just that.
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Old 07-30-2014, 09:19 AM
Saumond Saumond is offline
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Default Re: An Original Poem

It's nice, but how you write makes your text stammering. Also pay attention to your final statement, it doesn't make you want more. You see, I think that the final statement is most important part in one's poem, and if it's not good the whole poem will taste bad. Hopefully you find this helpful!
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Old 07-30-2014, 09:47 AM
Shut the Hell Up Shut the Hell Up is offline
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Default Re: An Original Poem

Yes, it is helpful! I didn't know that the final statement was so important. I'll be sure to work on that, as well as my writing style. Thanks for the comments!
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Old 07-04-2018, 07:40 AM
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Jackster 136 Jackster 136 is offline
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Default Re: An Original Poem

They plagiarized from here : http://ilovewriting.wikia.com/wiki/(Safe)_Flying_High
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