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Old 08-13-2016, 04:17 PM
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Default The Mansion

"Alright, time for a water break."
It was as regular as a day could be in the mansion. Dmitri was at his workout session, trying to get as strong as he naturally could. Previously, he'd been doing some 100 lb. bench presses and other weights, but today he was pushing himself. He had been adding weights all day until he reached his breaking point, then stayed at the breaking point, lifting as much as he could. He walked over to his gym bag and took out his water bottle. He took a sip, then spat it out in alarm. Someone had put a ton of soap in his water! He cursed, shook his head, and went to the water fountain to get some new water. He didn't know who had done it, but he had a few ideas. Just to be safe, he was going to get revenge on both of them, even if they had nothing to do with it. He went into his room, opened his closet, and started rummaging.
"Hmm... whoopee cushion? Nah, too overdone. Bucket of water? Maybe, but that's overdone too... hmm... Oh! I forgot I had this," Dmitri said. He deviously smiled to himself. "That'll do for one of them, but I only have one... Hmm..." He put his hand on his chin thoughtfully."Oh, of course!"
He took the equipment to the kitchen, and called their names.
"Set! Spence! There's something in the kitchen I need you for!"
Dmitri plugged in his homemade toilet paper launcher, made out of a leaf blower, a paint roller, and loaded with three rolls of toilet paper, and waited for them to show up. This'll be fun, he thought. All I have to do is wait for them to run face first into my trap. He waited for them to come running into the room, and when they showed up, he'd be ready to blast them in the faces with toilet paper.
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Old 08-13-2016, 05:13 PM
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Default Re: The Mansion

In the middle of the entrance hall Alex stood next to a small box of wires and sensors, glaring frustrating at a screen in the box.

I'll ask Dmitri to program this

He had been working for the past few hours on a probe that could be sent into a dimension, scan the surrounding area for metals, transmit the data back to the mansion, and the be retrieved, as not to leave any extremely advanced tech on a primitive planet. If it would work or not was yet to be tested, because Alex was very bad at programming, and combining a few technologies from seven different dimensions was far outside his ken.

He left his project to go and find Dmitri, who was in the kitchen.

"Dmi-"
whoom
*gets hit with a tp roll*
"Nevermind."
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Old 08-13-2016, 05:26 PM
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Default Re: The Mansion

"Hah!" Dmitri shouted as someone walked into the room.
"Dmitri-" Alex said, being cut off as the gun fired. The toilet paper cascaded over Alex as he walked in.
"Nevermind," Alex said, walking out of the room covered in toilet paper.
Oh, shit, said Dmitri. He's gonna get T.P. all over the place. He considered it for a moment.
Meh, I'll just tell Jordan to clean it up later or something, he thought. For now, I still have to get Spence and Set. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Someone else walked into the room, and before he looked at them, he fired at will.
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Old 08-13-2016, 06:30 PM
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Default Re: The Mansion

Walking over to the kitchen, Spence wondered what Dmitri wanted. I hope he has ice cream for me... he thought. But he also remembered Dmitri's pranks, and decided to take some precautions, and turned colorless. "That should help..." he muttered to himself, as he walked down the corridor to the kitchen.

Opening the door, Spence called out "Hey, Dmitri, you needed me? Do you have ice cream? Wait... did I say that last part out lou...GAH!" All of a sudden, toilet paper came flying out from behind the door, right at him for a solid 6 seconds. When it was over, he was covered in so much toilet paper that his colorlessness was pretty much ineffective at this point. He could also hear chuckling from behind the door. He checks it out, and there stood Dmitri, holding a leaf blower and wearing a wide grin. "Dmitri...." he said with a glowering look, as Dmitri's grin faded a bit. "...thanks man! I seriously look like a mummy or something! That's so cool! I'm probably going to keep this on for the rest of the day!" he said, smiling, as he grabbed some ice cream out of the freezer and a bowl from the cupboard.
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Old 08-13-2016, 08:16 PM
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Default Re: The Mansion

"Well then, I guess YOU didn't do it.... Have you seen Set around? Someone put soap in my water bottle earlier, and I think it was him..."
Spence just shook his head and walked away with his ice cream.
"Guess I'll keep waiting for him then..."
He whirled around as someone else walked into the room and fired.
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Old 08-13-2016, 11:59 PM
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Default Re: The Mansion

Set barged into the room in his hippo form, and quickly reverted back.

"You could not be more correct, mortal. I was the one who put soap into your water." Set laughed, as he grabbed a head of lettuce from the fridge and swallowed it whole. "And I also clogged the toilet upstairs if you wanted to know. The God of Chaos STRIKES AGAIN! WOOHOO!"

Set was so terribly bored he resorted to petty pranks just for his amusement, since he couldn't get away with murder here in the Mansion, thinking somebody was watching remotely, as if there were cameras everywhere.

The Egyptian god of chaos has been known for killing his brother Osiris, TWICE, only to eventually get his red ass handed to him by Horus, so to speak.
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Old 08-14-2016, 01:21 AM
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Default Re: The Mansion

"I mean, those were kind of pointless," Dmitri said. "I mean, we own a plunger. And there's water fountains and faucets all over the place. Pranks should be more original... LIKE THIS!!!"
Dmitri unloaded the remainder of the toilet paper onto Set and said, "Well, now you know what being a mummy feels like." Set glared at Dmitri. "Hey, one question. Do you like iceberg lettuce?"
"Yes, I do, actually," said Set.
"Great, then you should be okay with this!"
Dmitri ran over to the fridge they kept vegetables in, and opened the lettuce drawer. He used one of his implants to freeze the entirety of their stock solid.
"Hmm, I'd say you have... 10,000,000 years until you'll get those ones? Don't worry, I'm sure we'll find a dimension with lettuce soon!"
Dmitri grinned and ran as Set charged after him. Dmitri froze the ground over and skated while Set tripped and fell.
"You're looking more red than usual, pal!"
"I WILL KILL YOU, PUNY MORTAL!!!"
"Hey there, chill out! I'm sure that the lettuce will be ice and fresh by then!"
Dmitri made like Mei and made an ice wall between him and Set.
"You know, you shouldn't have done that," said Jordan as Dmitri ran past him.
"Ah, he'll laugh when he realizes that I only froze some fake lettuce. By the way, don't go in your closet. It's full of lettuce."
Dmitri ran into his room, threw all but 3 of the pillows onto the ground, and took a nap, snuggling with Skittles the fire-ocelot.
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Old 08-14-2016, 02:19 AM
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Default Re: The Mansion

"Oh man, this ice cream is so good. The cookies, the cream..." Spence said, as he walked down the corridor, still wrapped in mummy attire. All of a sudden, he saw Dmitri run by very fast. Fast enough, in fact, that his ice cream cone was knocked out of his hand. As the ice cream tumbled, waffle cone over cream, Spence's eyes widened, and when the cone hit the floor, a single word escaped his lips: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!''

As he rushed over to the kitchen, Spence's day got even worse: the door to the kitchen was blocked with a giant ice wall. Sprinting to his room, he grabbed Ether, and sprinting back, he said "No time to explain, Ether! Frozen dairy product emergency!!". When he got back to the kitchen, he yelled "OK, Ether, use a fire attack! I got some Cookies 'n Cream that's calling my name!!!!" Rolling his eyes, the chameleon turned orange, and spit out a fireball about as big as a grapefruit. It burned through the ice wall easily, but kept on traveling... right to the freezer. A gasp escaped Spence's lips, as the fireball, weakened by the temperature yet still having some power, hit the freezer door and roasted the contents inside. As Spence flung open the freezer, his worst fears were confirmed: his cherished ice cream was little more than a cookie soup. "MY ICE CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!!!!!!!!" he yelled, anguished. He looked up, and saw Set there, looking at him funny. But he was used to that, so he brushed it off. "Yeah?" he asked. Wiping the look of his face, Set said "I share your pain, mortal, for I too have had a precious food taken from me", as he gestured to the block of ice that was probably once the lettuce drawer, but was too frozen over to tell. "That idiot, messing with my ice cream. Oh, and your lettuce too, I guess. Let's make him pay." "Excellent! I shall get my hunting spear..." Set began to say. "Whoa man, lemme stop you at hunting. What we need... is a PRANK." Spence said. "Marvelous! I quite enjoy these pranks, and I shall get an opportunity to avenge my fallen lettuce!" "Yeah, same here! I'm thinking something with his turkey-gravy tin things... but what do you think?"
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Old 08-14-2016, 04:10 AM
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Default Re: The Mansion

Jordan is sitting in his room, taking notes on the mysterious mansion as his pet squirrel begs for attention. Suddenly, he hear incredibly loud noises outside of his door. He puts Milly in a box to keep her safe and awkwardly try to pick up my sword and shield "These look way easier to hold on TV" Jordan whispers to myself. "Whats uh, going-" he tries to say before a massive ball of ice comes only centimeters away from his head.

"Okay, what the actual hell is going on?" He says, this time with anger in his voice. He tries to hold his sword and shield in a "knightly" manner as he marches through the halls. He opens a door where he believes he hears all the noise coming from but instead he discovers...a huge library. Overjoyed at the discovery, he dashes back to his room to pick up his notebooks, books and of course, Milly and dashes into the library. I hear some low growls from the edge of the library but he's to into the books to really care.

After about an hour of studying "The Science and Magic of Aeromancy" While overjoyed with learning the arcane arts, Jordan decides that "Sword and Shield for dummies" is probably a more practical read. After studying the book, he begins to learn about stance and form, and how to not hold his gear so "knave-like", which was apparently a thing he was doing.
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Old 08-15-2016, 02:54 PM
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Default Re: The Mansion

"Soooooooooooomebody once told me the world was gonna roll - whoa!"
Dmitri started singing All Star by Smash Mouth as he kicked the door open and promptly fell upwards. He then fell back down onto his face and cursed. "Jeez, this place is bonkers," he said angrily. He started walking away from the mansion to try to find food or materials or something, though he just really wanted to take a walk. That day went from strange to bad as these super weird creatures started surrounding him. He cursed, then started running, then skating, then falling to the south as the physics changed again.
Jeez, this place is stupid. I hate it here, he thought, wanting to go home and eat a pizza. But those things were still blocking the way, and he was currently standing on the side of a wall. He decided to wait until the gravity returned to normal. When it did, he fell soundlessly onto a pile of snow he created. He tried to think of a plan, then used it.
Dmitri threw a snowball at the creatures, then as they were running in the direction he threw it from, he skated around them and booked it to the mansion. When he was inside, he flopped on a couch. Using his implants that much tired him out a lot. He needed energy. He was especially tired because Skittles was meowing about something in the middle of the night. Normally he only does that when someone's in his room without permission, but he didn't see anyone... did he? Either way, he couldn't sleep, so he just played Nuclear Throne all night, and gave Skittles some Friskies mixed with charcoal.
Dmitri decided to get up and make himself a cup of coffee. Lo and behold, someone had used all of the coffee beans.He wondered where all of the beans had gone, since they had almost a full five cans yesterday. So he just made himself tea and took a nap. He dreamed of toilet paper forests with giant angry hippos and giant lettuce icebergs.
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Old 08-15-2016, 03:28 PM
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Default Re: The Mansion

Set was bouncing off the walls, as he used all of the coffee beans, thinking they would give him great power. Unfortunately, the god of chaos can not handle his caffeine very well. Set was jittery, and turned into a hippo again and freed the lettuce with his beastly maw, and began eating the lettuce, and finally calmed down.

"You know, what, I think that was too chaotic even for my standards. I guess I'll switch to.... Decaf...."
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Old 08-15-2016, 11:13 PM
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Default Re: The Mansion

Ama opened the door of her room and stepped out into the hallway a little nervously. It'd been a while since she'd left - meals and showers didn't count - but now seemed like a good time to check out the commotion.

Earlier she'd heard the mansion had moved, both from Dmitri's enthusiastic decision to take a walk and the sounds of a snowball fight outside. Maybe it was a decent place to be, this new dimension.

She took a flight of stairs down and wound her way through a few hallways, encountering a library and annoyingly small indoor pool on the way to the main kitchen. Inside was a bit of a mess - Set stood with a small pile of lettuce remains around his feet, muttering something about decaf. The fridge - Dmitri had told her that it wasn't always a refrigerator - hummed happily in the corner, but the real crisis was next to it. The coffee machine stood sadly silent on the counter, drawing her attention to five empty jars of coffee beans.

Huh. Last time she'd been down here, there were about fifteen. Everyone seemed to drink coffee up here.

"Good morning," she offered, although she didn't know what time of day it was. Or really, what day it was at all. "Uh, are you okay? Is there no more coffee?"
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Old 08-16-2016, 12:26 AM
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Default Re: The Mansion

"Ech, my head hurts SO MUCH. I could use some coffee..."
When he had woken up on the couch, he saw Ama and Set in the kitchen. Ama seemed perplexed while Set was rocking back and forth on the ground. He walked into the kitchen and saw little green bits on the ground.
"Um, have you gone into Jordan's room?"
"No. I have no idea what you are talking about, mortal."
"Dude. Me freezing the lettuce was a prank. That was FAKE LETTUCE. You just ate 50 of them. Do you need a doctor?"
Set just shook his head and walked away, cursing about decaf...? Ama seemed perplexed.
"Um, if you want to check it out, this dimension has some... interesting physics. It goes bonkers at random intervals, and one time, i started moving like I was in water, so you might wanna check it out if you want... I dunno. There's these weird things with a buncha legs and eyes or whatever. And if you're wondering what happened with the lettuce and all of the melted ice cream in the freezer... Here's a few key words. Soap. Lizard. Iceberg lettuce. Ask Spence or whatever. I dunno. I'm gonna go hang out in my room and play some Nuclear Throne or Spelunky or whatever."
He walked into his room then shouted, "Damn it, Skittles! That's the third litterbox you've melted this month! Don't make me have to buy you one of those super-uncomfortable stone ones!"
He then slammed his door and booted up his computer.
Within 10 minutes he had already thrown a controller at the wall and made a hole in it. He said hi to Jordan through the hole and then went to go get some carpentry supplies.
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Old 08-16-2016, 12:44 AM
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Default Re: The Mansion

"So much for THAT idea." Spence said. He had tried to get Set involved with a prank, but he decided to just thaw out the lettuce instead. He decided to leave at that point, and when he looked back, he saw Set getting into the coffee beans. AGAIN. "Oh well, maybe Alex will help me... in the meantime, maybe I could scare someone!" he said to himself. Deciding to do just that, he reluctantly took off his mummy wrappings and flushed them down the toilet of the nearest bathroom (resolving to find Dmitri after this so he can get TP'ed again), switched into colorless color, and stood in the middle of the hallway, not making a sound. All of a sudden, he heard footsteps coming from the hall a bit ahead and to the right, just outside his field of sight, that sounded like they were coming in his direction. As the footsteps got closer, Spence began to imagine the look on their face when he popped into sight in front of them.
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Old 08-16-2016, 01:35 AM
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Default Re: The Mansion

"Ah, Spence! Just who I was looking for! Don't be surprised, I'm just testing out the sensors on my probe. You are somewhere off to my left, right?"

"Right."

"Ok, then you should be- Ahh!"

"I told you I was off to your right."

"Yes, you did." I just spent the last seven hours programming this, and now the output is mirrored! D___! "Well, there's obviously some problems with this, so I'll just put it aside for now, I need more tea."

The devastation in the kitchen was more than Alex had expected, the frozen fridge with its melted freezer, the ice covering the walls, and several coffee cans scattered across the counter was more chaos than last cycle's prank-a-thon had wreaked. Off to the side of the room, seated at a table, was Set. Ama, if he remembered correctly, stood next to the coffee machine with a startled look on her face.

"I hope no one minds if I take this box of tea back to my room, it appears that Set doesn't need any more caffeine."
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Old 08-16-2016, 01:51 AM
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"Goddamn stupid piece of shit laser aliens... wish you were never born..."
Dmitri was walking down the hall after the Spelunky alien incident, going to go get some drywall or spackle or something. Suddenly, Spence appeared out of thin air and jumped at him, but his instincts told him to freeze whatever was coming at him before his brain could see what it was.
After the adrenaline rush, Dmitri was looking at a shocked Spence frozen a foot deep on each side in a block of ice.
"Hey, you're looking a bit cold there, buddy. Might want to cool it with the pranks for now."
Dmitri slid Spence into the kitchen and simply said, "Someone chip him out." He then got some spackle out of the basement and walked back to his room. When he walked back to the kitchen to go downstairs, he saw a shivering Spence flipping him the bird right next to Ether. Dmitri shrugged, then went into the living room to watch some TV. He set it to play Natrull channels and rolled his eyes as he saw his sister on a celebrity prank show. He switched off the TV and went back into the kitchen to get a snack. He got a Star Crunch out of the giant pantry (he loves goddamn Star Crunch SO MUCH) and went to the mansion's arcade to play some pinball or whatever. He set the fourth highest score, then went back to his room to have some cat time with Skittles. After getting his hair singed by Skittles sneezing, he took a nap to chill out.
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Old 08-16-2016, 02:47 AM
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Default Re: The Mansion

Set was finally calming down, but he grabbed a bottle of pomegranate juice and a six-pack of beer for his next prank, he mixed it in a blender until it looked like blood, and then he summoned his spear, and spilt the red liquid all over his chest after writing a fake suicide note in Egyptian hieroglyphs.

Set mixed beer with pomegranate juice because mortals did that once to trick the raging lioness-like deity Sekhmet into getting drunk and reverting into her alter ego Hathor, the cow goddess of beauty.

Set groaned loudly for a second, and stopped, now playing dead.
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Old 08-16-2016, 04:08 AM
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Ama nodded to Alex with his box of tea and picked up a box of cereal for herself. She quietly left the kitchen before Something Else interesting could happen, hearing the sounds of a blender behind her as she headed down the hallway to the living room. One of the bigger rooms in the house, it was supplied with a decent amount of technology from just about everywhere the mansion had been, comfortable couches, and some of those enchanted windows scattered around the place.

She sat down on one of the couches and picked up the remote to the TV, flicking through channels. Somehow they were set entirely to channels from a world she wasn't familiar with.

It didn't matter. Hopefully no one would explode today, that wasn't usually fun. She opened her box of cereal and nibbled at the marshmallow pieces carefully - it was all colorful and quite pretty, if you looked at it the right way. The cat came and sat by her feet as she watched the confusing show.
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Old 08-19-2016, 01:28 AM
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"Erm, why are you covered in alcohol on the ground?"
Dmitri had walked into the kitchen to get some more tea. Before he even saw Set on the ground, the strong scent of alcohol made itself known. Dmitri walked into the kitchen and saw Set on the ground. After he had asked that question, he noticed a note on the ground by Set. However, it was written in a language he wasn't familiar with.
"Sorry pal, feel free to tell me what you wanted later. And please pick up your spear. Someone's gonna roll an ankle."
Dmitri then went to get his tea, then let loose a string of curses. Someone had taken the tea box too! That's the second caffinated thing that had been taken lately. I bet it was Jordan... he's been in that library for a while now, he'd need a lot of caffeine... I'll ask him later or something.
Dmitri grabbed a can of soda out of the fridge and sat next to Ama on the couch.
"Erm, do you like Natrull shows or something?"
"Oh, this is from your dimension? Huh. I thought they were sort of weird..."
"Um, you know that you can change the dimension that the TV picks up, right? There's sort of a screen that you can search for a dimension on. I just set it to Natrull to see how it's going there... you can set it to whatever you want... *sigh*."
Dmitri walked away, seeming to Ama with something on his mind.
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Old 08-21-2016, 07:28 PM
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Default Re: The Mansion

"M-M-Man, I d-do-on't even l-like p-p-p-po-psicles..." Spence said as he walked down the corridor, shivering violently, Ether perched on his shoulder. Dmitri had froze him like a popsicle earlier, and he was burning up about it. Metaphorically, of course. In reality, his internal body temperature had dropped to 8 degrees Fahrenheit lower than normal. "E-Ether, h-hit the w-wall w-w-with a fi-fireball" Spence said, and Ether looked at him as if to say Are you out of your MIND!? "P-please?" he asked, and Ether rolled his eyes, hopped down, turned orange, and launched some fireballs behind him, setting the wall behind him on fire. Spence ran over to the wall-flame and put his back to it, to get warm again. "Aaaaaah, man, this is better. Man, makes me wish I had some marshmallows, for wall s'mores. W'mores, that's what I'd call them... Oh shoot, Ether! Water!!!" he said, for the wall flame had started to spread. Ether, thinking quick, turned blue and launched a jet of water about as powerful as a garden hose from his mouth at the flame, putting it out instantly, and in the process, leaving a giant black charred mark on the wall. "Oh shoot..." Spence said, noticing the mark. "Um... I'll say it was interdimensional mold or something. Anyway, I still gotta prank that Popsicle-loving, ice-cream-hating Dmitri. Maybe Alex or Ama will help me... but where are they?" Spence muttered to himself. Deciding to look for him, he continued roaming the corridors, with Ether still on his shoulder.
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