2vs2 single
Style: Switch
DQ: Standard week
Damage Cap: 99%
Banned Moves: OHKO's
Arena: Kitchen of Madness
It's actually not a food item this time.
The Kitchen of Madness actually isn't that insane -- it's a rectangular room, slightly larger than the size of a normal arena. There are two cooking counters on each side of the arena, and each counter belongs to one of the trainers. Like regular kitchen counters, there's two sinks, large drawers filled with silverware, stacks of plates, bowls... You name it. There are also several knives sitting in a knifeholder on the each counter, as well as some cutting boards. There is a fridge to the left of each counter, and one can pretty much find any food imaginable inside the fridge. To the right of the counter is a oven and a gas-powered stove top, a perfect place to bake some pies or blow up some propane tanks. A few pots and pans are on the stove top as well as in the drawer underneath the oven.
On request, half of the arena can be sunk down and flooded with water to allow water-only pokemon to battle.
This all sounds like a perfectly normal kitchen until one realizes that every single item in the kitchen can be used as weapons. The knives, spoons, plates, flying pans... Yes, even the frozen turkey in the freezer can be thrown at the enemy. After a bit of testing in a test arena, Linoone has made a chart showing the average damage different types of items do on impact (and they do quite a lot of damage indeed...)
Porcelain and glass (such as plates and, well, glasses): 3% on impact, 1% if shards are stepped on.
Small objects (like spoons and spice bottles): 5%
Sharp pointy things (such as knives, forks, and frozen swordfish heads): 10% if hit by the sharp edge (30% chance), 4% otherwise.
Large, heavy things (like frying pans and frozen turkeys): 12%, but only have 90% accuracy.
The referee: Instant disqualification.
The objects generally take 3% energy to throw, but small objects take only 2% and large, heavy things cost 5%. Thrown objects are considered to have 100% accuracy besides large, heavy things, which only have 90%.
The crazy projectiles don't stop there. You can heat up items on the stove and throw them for a chance of burning your opponent, lob ice cubes at them and hope they catch a cold, force feed them rotten eggs and make them get food poisoning... The possibilities are endless.
Ok, fine, so thrown items aren't that insane. So why is this place called the Kitchen of Madness? The true reason is that the referee will get so tired of rolling the dice that he/she/it will go mad. Yup. That's the reason. Oh, and the little flying pieces of porcelain, but I'm sure that's easily gotten rid of.
Other: Wailords are (for once) allowed.
After a spectacular double knockout with dozens of pretty streamers of light, both battlers withdrew their Pokemon and had a brief conversation about the three previous rounds. Crazy Linoone said something about Destiny Bond, and at that Kwak’waka’s Pokeball gave an agitated shake. Muttering something, the Linoone stuffed the quivering sphere in its beret and pulled out another one. This orb split open to reveal a bipedal black and blue canine who hopped from foot to foot as if he was standing on a hot stove. Upon smelling the delicious smells of the kitchen – particularly the ramen Crazy Linoone had just pulled out of its backpack – Riley the Riolu let a dribble of saliva escape from the corner of his mouth.
The next Pokemon to enter the field was understandably less taken with the arena. Psytallica the Bronzor just stood there, balanced on a single steel ball, and blinked once. It remained completely still until its trainer had given it its commands, and even then it only blinked once more in confirmation.
Round Four
Crazy Linoone (xO)
Riley (F) <Steadfast>
Health: 100%
Energy: 100%
Status: Eager to fight, if only for that ramen.
Commands: Dig (down) ~ Swords Dance ~ Swords Dance
Bobino (xO)
Psytallica (N/A) <Heatproof>
Health: 100%
Energy: 100%
Status: Eerily confident.
Commands: Psychic ~ Psychic ~ Psychic
While Psytallica blinked and blinked again as it expanded the reach of its psychic abilities, Riley struck savagely at a floor tile to split it apart and reveal the hard stone underneath. He grimaced; it would be hard to dig through. Nevertheless, he was valiant, and the going was made easier when the stone gave way to clay two or three feet down. When the bipedal canine was sure he was beyond the range of anything Psytallica could throw at him, Riley scooped away some clay with his paws to form a small underground chamber that he could move around in – though he had to duck to avoid hitting his head on the ceiling. Satisfied with his work, the Riolu sat cross-legged on the earth to regain his breath.
Apparently, though, the tunnel wasn’t deep enough, because after several seconds Riley felt a sharp pain in his temples. This was followed by a full-out psychic assault; up on the surface, Psytallica’s eyes were closed in concentration as it sent pointed psychic pulses at various parts of Riley’s brain. The canine screeched in pain and clutched at his head – he looked like he was on the verge of ripping out his short fur – and even the fact that it hurt less than he was expecting it to provided little comfort. Fortunately, Psytallica couldn’t sustain the attack for long, and the agony slowly faded away to be replaced by a dull headache.
Still wincing slightly, though it was mostly covered up by the magnificent scowl that had worked its way across his face, Riley stood up and began to trace slow figure eights with one foot. He spread his arms wide and then abruptly leapt into an active dance, soft paw pads pounding out a rhythm as forepaws swiftly blocked and retaliated against an invisible enemy. All throughout this, the Riolu’s eyes remained closed in deep concentration. Adrenaline pumped through his veins along with the desire to excel in any fight or clash, and confidence poured into his body. Remembering his trainer’s commands, Riley let a torrent of laughter bubble from his throat. The chuckles quickly morphed into something that bordered on ‘evil overlord’ laughter, and the sound of the Riolu’s mirth drifted up to escape from the mouth of his tunnel. The referee blinked.
As soon as the Swords Dance winded down, Riley felt another painful tingle in his skull. He only had time to groan in exasperation before the pain started again, setting his cranium aflame and forcing him to grind his teeth together to stop himself from screaming. Emotionless as his opponent was, Riley was determined
not to give Psytallica the satisfaction of hearing him wail like a baby. Like before, it wasn’t long until the Bronzor’s focus ran out, but to Riley it felt like hours.
Despite having a full-out migraine, the Riolu managed to stumble to his feet without pitching over on his side. Even more amazing was the fact he was still able of graceful, coordinated movements. Yet again Riley slid, twisted, and turned in his little underground chamber, flexing his muscles and filling his mind with the conviction that he could win. This time, he settled with a simpler variation of his dance, afraid that he’d stumble and bump his head on the roof of his hollow, or trip over his own paws. Even so, it had the same effect: by the time Riley sat down again, he was bursting with vigour. His headache, though now not as severe, still plagued him, so he decided to skip the ‘insane laughter’ part of his commands. He’d already done it once, anyway.
Another stinging pulse at Riley’s temples signaled a third psychic invasion. This time he knew what to expect and braced himself. It still hurt, though – if anything, it hurt even more than before – and his skull felt like it was going to split open by the time Psytallica’s concentration slipped. Riley was left curled up in the fetal position, panting, his mind clouded with pain.
Crazy Linoone (xO)
Riley (F) <Steadfast>
Health: 60%
Energy: 85%
Status: Hurting. A lot. +4 Attack, -1 Sp. Def.
Bobino (xO)
Psytallica (N/A) <Heatproof>
Health: 100%
Energy: 79%
Status: Still eerily confident.
Terrain notes
Nothing to note.
Final notes
Crazy Linoone attacks first next round.
I had Riley’s Dig take a bit more energy than normal because I figured no-one in their right mind would build a kitchen on top of plain earth/clay/what have you.
Psytallica’s Psychics took a bit more energy as well due to the distance. On top of that, damage was slightly reduced.
The second Psychic lowered Riley’s special defense.
Damnit I was looking forward to writing evil laughter, but I forgot about it during the second Swords Dance and I couldn’t find anywhere to plug it in.
