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One-Shot The Battle

Evanlyn

Banana
I wrote this for a competition at our local fair. It had to be 1000 words or less. At one point, I went on DeviantART and I entered a competition, I had to comment and use the word 'pineapple' at least once, and that was a really shortened version of this. So yeah, that's where I got the idea.


The Battle

Major Pineapple looked up at Fortress Vegetable, a feeling of victory filling his very being. It was time to crush those vegetables. Time for this war to end. Time for the fruit to be victorious!

“Fruit! MARCH!” he yelled, and they began to move forward, towards the vegetables’ last castle.

***​

In the fortress, a vegetable was staring at a battle plan. This was Colonel Lettuce, and he was sick of fighting.

“Sir!” Lieutenant Cucumber called as he rushed in.
“Please don’t give me bad news,” said the Colonel in a tired voice.
“It’s the fruit army; they are advancing on this castle! If they take it, they will be unstoppable. We… will lose.”
“Then we won’t let them take it.”
“Yes, sir, but their army is so large,” Cucumber explained, worried.
“But we have the fortress, they can’t beat us. Now, go organize the army, Lieutenant.”
“Yes, sir!” he turned, and left the room.
The veggie leader turned to his map of the land surrounding the fortress and began to plan for the upcoming battle.

***​

The time had come.

The Fruit Army had reached Fortress Vegetable, and the Vegetable Army was waiting for them.
The battle begun; the oranges sprayed their juice into the vegetable’s faces, the onions made tears spring to the eyes of the fruit. Apples shot their seeds like a machine gun, and the peas returned fire. Everywhere, there were vegetables falling to pieces, and fruit bursting in a wave of juice.

Major Pineapple looked over the battleground. Their resistance is futile, for we will win, he thought to himself confidentially.

***​

The battle was lasting too long; too many vegetables were losing their lives. Colonel Lettuce made a decision.
“Lieutenant Cucumber!”
“Yes, sir?”
“Send out the tomatoes!” ordered the colonel.
“Yes, sir!” The lieutenant began to head off, when a broccoli almost ran into him.
“Sir, I bring terrible news!” he cried in despair
“What is it? They haven’t broken through our forces have they?” Lettuce demanded.
“No, sir! The tomatoes, they…” the broccoli shuddered. “They have decided that they are fruit, sir, and they have joined the enemy! They have betrayed us!”
“NO!” the frustrated leader screamed. They needed the tomatoes! But no matter… no matter.
“Cucumber, send out the Brussels Sprouts!”
“Sir,” Lieutenant Cucumber said, horrified. “Is that wise?”
“They are our only hope,” explained the Colonel.

Lettuce hoped the sprouts would be able to inject enough fear that the fruit would retreat.
He saw the sprouts head out onto the field. Victory was so close; the colonel could almost taste it. But he had to wait just a little longer…

***​

The Brussels Sprout division began to move forward. It was time to fight.

They knew they might die in the attempt to eradicate the fruit, but they would go down fighting.
As soon as they stepped onto the battlefield, they charged! They reached the front, their masks protecting them from the onions’ and oranges’ juice, and began to fight. They were beating the fruit back. It seemed like the vegetables would certainly win.

Then, the unthinkable happened. A cherry tomato rolled in their midst. A few Brussels turned their attention to it, about to take it down. Then, it exploded. The Sprouts’ leaves went everywhere. There was no hope for them. They were completely unprepared.

Back at the fortress, Colonel Lettuce prepared himself for battle. Since The Brussels Sprout division had been eradicated, he must go out and keep his army going himself, they mustn’t give in to despair!

***​

“Major Pineapple, the plan worked, the sprouts are gone,” informed Pineapple’s lieutenant, Lieutenant Strawberry.
“Excellent!” The fruity leader cried, feeling exhilarated.
“But sir, Lettuce is coming out onto the field. Should you be worried?”
General Pineapple turned to him. “Of course not! Why, I’ll face him myself. And I will defeat him.”
“Yes, sir!” replied the strawberry, a feeling of victory rising inside him. It was time for fruit to rule supreme!

***​

Meanwhile, on the battlefield, the fight raged on. The vegetables had been slightly taken aback by the tomatoes turning on them, and the fruit had been taken aback by the short, but frightening, attack of the Brussels Sprout division.
Vegetables and fruit, fruit and vegetables, they were fighting and many were falling. The odds, at this point, were about even.

Suddenly, the vegetables gave a great cheer. The colonel had come onto the battlefield! Then, the fruit also applauded, for their leader, too, had appeared. The two armies stood back to allow the leaders to pass.

“Prepare to lose!” cried Colonel Lettuce, flaring up his leaves.
“No, you prepare to lose!” yelled the fruity leader.

The lettuce began to charge, but the pineapple was ready for him. He began to shoot his spikes at Lettuce. They all hit him, tearing every one of his leaves to shreds.

A cry of despair came from the veggie ranks. Their leader was gone; there was no more hope for them!
The fruit froze in shock. Their leader, the Pineapple, had lost all of his spikes shooting at Lettuce. He did not seem so frightening now, and he was retreating to his tent. Then, a carrot shot up from the ground, and the pineapple was sliced in half. Both of the leaders were down.

After a stunned silence, Strawberry and Cucumber came forward.
“Well, I guess we’re the leaders now,” the former fruit lieutenant stated in a matter-of-fact voice.
“Yeah, we are,” affirmed Cucumber.
They stood there, feeling awkward, until;
“How about a truce?” suggested the new vegetable leader.
“I agree!” Strawberry replied enthusiastically.
The two moved toward one another, and they shook hands. Well, they shook hands as a fruit and vegetable are able to do so.
Since then, both vegetables and fruit have lived in peace with one another, except for a few rivalries. Both sides have sworn that they would never have war with one another again (unless it is absolutely necessary, of course).

The End
 
Last edited:
Errr... interesting. I would advise adding an spaces in between paragraphs....

Like this.

To make it more readable.
 
Dear God. This is so utterly ridiculous.

It's actually a good story, and very well written. But the storyline is sorta... hilarious.

I know, after I wrote it and reread it I actually thought 'Gosh, this is ridiculous' but I figured that most of the entries in the competition would be really serious and whatnot so I thought I'd put in something different.

Errr... interesting. I would advise adding an spaces in between paragraphs....

Like this.

To make it more readable.

Ok, done. Thanks for the advice!
 
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