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Old 07-06-2008, 07:50 AM
Dragon_night Dragon_night is offline
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Default Fear

Uh, wow. This is just a random burst of writing. Actually, a dream I just had… Let’s just say I’m writing this at one in the morning because of this stupid dream that’s keeping me from gaining my sleep :/ (And just by that fact, it’s probably going to suck worse than anything else I’ve written <_<) But hey, I’ve been putting off writing for half a month, and this was the perfect opertunity.

Anwho, it’s very short (like 330 words or something), and rated pg15 for violence and implied blood.


Fear


Fear is just the unknown. Fear is of illusion. Fear is for survival. Fear is for life. Fear is the end.

Her end.

No matter how she thinks of it, no matter what he tells her. Fear is what helps them live. And fear is what kills them inside. What kills her right now.

The young girl only wanted to play a joke. What would come of it? He would be afraid, and she would laugh. Harmless fun, that’s what she wanted. Some fear in her dad’s eyes and the surprise of her mother when she said she scared daddy. That was all that she wanted from that day.

It started out, with a kiss on her forehead as her parents told her good bye. The young kid, ten years of age, saw them off to their car as they happily went on their way to an auction, where they would sell their things for large sums of money. With a faint shout, the little girl yelled she would be off at her friends place the whole day, and the car started driving away.

After, the girl did as she said, and went to her friends place to simply play and have fun. But, knowing her parents would be coming home very soon, she left her friend’s house, and went back.

That’s when she got the innocent idea for fear.

She smiled wildly as she thought of scaring her Daddy. But where would she hide? Her room. She would make sure to make a lot of noise, and then be really quiet. When Daddy would come up to investigate, she would jump out from behind her door and shout out “Boo!”

With the hunger for innocent mischievousness, she hid up in her room, right behind her door.

When her Father and Mother walked inside their house, she made some noise, and Father quickly reacted. Thinking that his daughter was off at his friends place, he thought that it was an intruder and swiftly grabbed his .45 caliber handgun and headed up the stairs. He aimed it inside each room, his finger ready to slip at the slightest movement. Nothing yielded anything, and there was only on room left to check upon. The daughters.

“Boo!”



The loud noise of a gunshot followed imminently after.

The young girl was shot in the stomach.


Fear is for survival. Fear is for life. Fear is the end.

No matter how she thinks of it, no matter what he tells her. Fear is what helps them live. And fear is what kills them inside. What kills her right now.


The young ten-year-old died in the hospital ten hours later.



END

Last edited by Dragon_night; 07-06-2008 at 05:27 PM.
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Old 07-06-2008, 04:10 PM
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OrangeAipom OrangeAipom is offline
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Default Re: Fear

Maybe I'm dumb, but I didn't think there was any blood in there.
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Old 07-06-2008, 05:23 PM
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Default Re: Fear

^Don't you think there might be a tiny little bit of blood if someone gets shot in the stomach?

Anyway, it's very deep. I'm a terrible critic, but I do have one thing to say: Is it not a little realistic that the family has a gun? I mean, how many average families this days possess a handgun?
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Old 07-06-2008, 05:25 PM
Dragon_night Dragon_night is offline
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Default Re: Fear

Quote:
Maybe I'm dumb, but I didn't think there was any blood in there
Oh, sorry. I guess It's just implied <_<

Quote:
Anyway, it's very deep. I'm a terrible critic, but I do have one thing to say: Is it not a little realistic that the family has a gun? I mean, how many average families this days possess a handgun?
I'm not sure. I though most US people had one lying around :/ Blame the dream.

And thanks for reviewing!
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Old 07-06-2008, 05:30 PM
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Default Re: Fear

Oh, most US people. Forgive me for being unfamiliar with your culture. We don't over here... that's because they're illegal, but anyway, we have this sort of self-defence bat thing. That's all.
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Old 07-06-2008, 06:06 PM
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Default Re: Fear

I thought only police officers or whatever used the bats.
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Old 07-06-2008, 06:29 PM
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Default Re: Fear

Oh, no, not batons. Our one is just sort of shaped like a baseball bat. And it has Spanish writing on it, for some reason.
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Old 07-06-2008, 11:55 PM
Dragon_night Dragon_night is offline
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Default Re: Fear

Hmmm. I guess the gun thing came from the tons of TV I watch, and the stupid news :/ Sorry about the stereotype, but it's what my dream had in it (hard to remember now <_<).
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Old 07-07-2008, 06:03 AM
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Default Re: Fear

That's alright, don't apologise. After all, if it's based on a dream, should it not include all details, however unrealistic? [/Self-contradiction]
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