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Eifie vs. Music Dragon

Hoo boy! I've been so busy, I completely forgot about this! Okay, okay, let me think of something real quick.

Well, Doctor, since you failed to pull off that Power Swap last time, you're gonna have to try again. But this time, let's make it an even sweeter deal, because I like sweet things. Use your Swag to make Mimsy all angry and strong, then follow up with Power Swap to steal her strength! Finally, top it off with a sexy Seed Bomb to take advantage of your newfound muscles. Surely they will make the future bright!

Doctor Proctor: Swagger ~ Power Swap ~ You're my Seed Bomb
Music Dragon: Wake-Up Slap (if Eifie says "Eh, what's up Doc?") / Enjoy puns (otherwise) ~ Wake-Up Slap (if Eifie mentions a "bad hare day") / Enjoy puns (otherwise) ~ Shift Gear
 
god dammit Mimsy if you screw this up I will end you be upset in an appropriate way
 
Eifie (O)
sentret
Mimsy (f) <Keen Eye> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 53%
Energy: 60%
Currently: Giggling. +1 Attack, +1 Accuracy. Getting pumped.
Commands: Flamethrower / Mimic ~ Slash / Flamethrower / Mimic ~ Knock Off / Slash / Mimic
espeon Eifie: 89 health / 81 energy / -1 Attack, -1 Defense, +1 Special Defense; Facade forgotten

Music Dragon (O)
Exeggcute
Doctor Proctor (m) <Chlorophyll> @ Leaf Stone
Health: 44%
Energy: 53%
Currently: Pulling desperately against his vines. Ingrained in the cherry (+1% health/action). -2 Attack, -2 Special Attack.
Commands: Swagger ~ Power Swap ~ Seed Bomb
dragonair Music Dragon: 75 health / 74 energy / -1 Attack, +1 Speed

Field Notes
-There's an exploded Lucky Egg near Mimsy.
-The cream topping has been stirred up, but the cherry is on its side next to the tart.
-Parts of the road have been cracked or damaged by explosions.
-One of the blobs of cream has been splattered all over the road.
-There are a lot of leaves, strawberry juice, and seeds around the tart.

Round 5

Before either battler hops into action, Eifie begins the round with a hare-raising display of her mharevelous rabbit puns, sending everybun on the field into fits of giggles. After he's recovered somewhat, Doctor Proctor decides the puns will be perfect fodder for his next attack. "Hey, rabbit-blob wannabe!" he yells over at Mimsy, who's left her hideing place for the more open road area. "My trainer's rabbit puns are way better than yours!" Doctor Proctor looks over at his trainer for vhareification, but unfortunately, Music Dragon carrot pull a rabbit pun out of his figurative hat on such short notice, and manages only a "What's up, Doc?" joke.

But Mimsy, already infuriated, finds this totally beleafable, and summons up the Flames of Passion and Revenge for some good old-fashioned beetdown. The scorching blasts of heat utterly anniharelate Doctor Proctor's precious vines, cabbageing nothing but blackened twists in their wake, but the Exeggcute is more glad that he's finally free than mournful at the loss of his nutrient source.

There's no time like the present to appreciate his newfound freedom, though! In preparation for his next maneuver, Doctor Proctor links minds with his opponent before giving the telepathic connection a little push. Mimsy's high spirits and Doctor Proctor's exhaustion are given physical form for just an instant, razor-thin pink lines shoot between the Pokemon, trading their mental states. As the unfamiliar emotions set in, Doctor Proctor sees the cracked points of his eggshells sharpening themselves into precise blades, and smirks nefariously.

On the other side of the tart, however, Mimsy feels suddenly tired. Her muscles droop as if she's just carried out an immensely powerful attack, and she feels like she's shriveling up. The Sentret's fatigue is quickly replaced by rage; it must have been that darn egg squad that did it to her! Completely disregarding her trainer's instructions to study and memorize Doctor Proctor's techniques, Mimsy charges straight at what she thinks in her blind rage is her opponent, but succeeds only in getting a faceful of pavement. Her opponent chuckles at her misfortunes, but Mimsy simply stays on the ground and lets the stars swim slowly around her field of view, not trusting her newly-weakened muscles to push herself back up.

Frustrated by her Pokemon's condition in a very appropriate way, Eifie lets loose another barrage of puns: Music Dragon shouldn't bouldly take her for granite, since sha'le tickle him if he—Wait, that's the wrong sort of pun! The sudden shift further confuses the already-disoriented Mimsy, who bangs her head on the side of the tart, leaving her woozy and even more bewildered than before. Doctor Proctor throwing a strangely green-looking grenade at her doesn't help, either, and Eifie finally gives in and storms over to Music Dragon before tickling him furiously. The rabbit puns stop for a precious few seconds…

But then music starts to play, sounding vaguely familiar to everyone on the field. The ref is too shocked to end the round—the cloud-turtle starts to move to the beat, but by then it's too late: Music Dragon, acclaimed smooth groover, has already started dancing. Is he doing a jazz interpretation of the robot? No, maybe he's doing the world-renowned original dance, the "paralyzed Klinklang shuffle"…?! The song winds to a halt before anyone can figure it out, and the ref finally recovers and brings her flags down. Doctor Proctor stares his opponent down for the obligatory fifth-round status recap; Mimsy seems to have fewer wounds, but she's definitely in a more discombobulated state than he is.

Eifie (O)
sentret
Mimsy (f) <Keen Eye> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 35%
Energy: 51%
Currently: Not sure what's going on, and not enjoying it. -2 Attack, -2 Special Attack. Getting pumped. Confused (moderate: 30% chance of hitting self).
Used: Flamethrower ~ (confused) ~ (confused)
espeon Eifie: 89 health / 75 energy / -1 Attack, -1 Defense, +1 Special Defense; Facade forgotten / Used: rabbit puns ~ rock rabbit puns ~ Tickle

Music Dragon (O)
Exeggcute
Doctor Proctor (m) <Chlorophyll> @ Leaf Stone
Health: 27%
Energy: 45%
Currently: Grinning evilly. +3 Attack, +1 Accuracy.
Used: Swagger ~ Power Swap ~ You're my Seed Bomb
dragonair Music Dragon: 75 health / 69 energy / -1 Attack, -1 Defense, +3 Speed / Used: enjoy puns ~ enjoy puns ~ Shift Gear

Field Notes
-There's an exploded Lucky Egg near Mimsy.
-The cream topping has been stirred up, but the cherry is on its side next to the tart.
-Parts of the road have been cracked or damaged by explosions.
-One of the blobs of cream has been splattered all over the road.
-There are a lot of leaves, strawberry juice, and seeds around the tart.

Mimsy: 53 - 2 (help) - 2 (bash head against tart in bewilderment) - 14 (Seed Bomb) = 35
60 - 5 (Flamethrower) - 2 (disoriented screaming) - 2 (???) = 51
Eifie: 89 = 89
81 - 2 (rabbit puns) - 2 (rabbit puns) - 2 (tickle) = 75
Doctor Proctor: 44 - 17 (Flamethrower) = 27
53 - 4 (Swagger) - 2 (Power Swap) - 2 (Seed Bomb) = 45
MD: 75 = 75
74 - 1 (enjoy puns) - 1 (enjoy puns) - 3 (paralyzed Klinklang shuffle) = 69
Action Notes
-Breaking news: "rabbity" a word; "appropriate way" a synonym for rabbit puns…?!
-(I'm so sorry)
-Flamethrower was a critical hit and completely burned up Doctor Proctor's Ingrain vines.
-Mimsy confusionfailed on actions two and three.

MD commands next.
 
Welp! This could very well be it, Doctor - the end for us, and this battle! Another critical Flamethrower like that and you're pretty much done for. It's fried eggs for you! Fried eggs!

Let's pour all of your remaining energy into offense this round; maybe you'll get lucky and score a KO before you get scrambled. Attack with Leaf Storm, and you better not miss this time - you've got honed eggshells and everything! You can't miss with honed eggshells!

Now, we're not gonna fall for the same trick as last time, oh no! So if you see Mimsy trying to dodge your attack or hide somewhere, send an Infestation swarm after her. That should make it impossible to escape! Not even fire can repel a bug swarm; only Max Repel™ can. Max Repel™ - bug-types check in, but they don't check out!

After you've used Leaf Storm once, you'll be too tired to keep it up, so switch over to Seed Bomb instead and just keep using that. Boring but practical.

Now there is only one thing left to do. We must put our faith in the Easter Bunny, patron deity of all eggs. O Easter Bunny, hearest thou my prayer! Dost thou accepte ye olde Monopoly notes as currency?

Doctor Proctor: Leaf Storm / Infestation ~ Leaf Storm / Seed Bomb / Infestation ~ Leaf Storm / Seed Bomb / Infestation
Music Dragon: Pray to Easter Bunny ~ Pay Day @ Easter Bunny ~ Explosion (if Doctor Proctor gets knocked out) / Gear Grind (otherwise)
 
Mims, you have left us in a precarious situation >:( Not to worry, for I have a plan!

A plan that relies on you not hitting yourself in confusion!

Got it?!

Good. Okay, first of all, that Leaf Storm hitting you should bring your mind back into orbit, I hope, so please, please try to re-focus your energy to stave off that confusion. You'll have a 75% chance! You can do it! If Leaf Storm misses, it'll probably be easier for you to Chill to try to cure your confusion instead.

Then, if Leaf Storm hit and got a crit (hint: that means it really, really hurt! pay attention, k?) we'll have to go for broke with Sucker Punch + Last Resort and hope for a crit of our own, because you won't be able to take another Seed Bomb. :( Otherwise, just plain Last Resort.

Finally, if Last Resort got a crit, go straight for Sucker Punch. If it didn't or you can't tell, Protect.

Mimsy: Focus Energy (clear head) / Chill (clear head) ~ Sucker Punch + Last Resort / Last Resort ~ Sucker Punch / Protect
Eifie: bite fingernails ~ destroy fingernails ~ Rage / Celebrate
 
Eifie (O)
sentret
Mimsy (f) <Keen Eye> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 35%
Energy: 51%
Currently: Not sure what's going on, and not enjoying it. -2 Attack, -2 Special Attack. Getting pumped. Confused (moderate: 30% chance of hitting self).
Commands: Focus Energy (clear head) / Chill (clear head) ~ Sucker Punch + Last Resort / Last Resort ~ Sucker Punch / Protect
espeon Eifie: 89 health / 75 energy / -1 Attack, -1 Defense, +1 Special Defense; Facade forgotten

Music Dragon (O)
Exeggcute
Doctor Proctor (m) <Chlorophyll> @ Leaf Stone
Health: 27%
Energy: 45%
Currently: Grinning evilly. +3 Attack, +1 Accuracy.
Used: Leaf Storm ~ Seed Bomb
dragonair Music Dragon: 75 health / 69 energy / -1 Attack, -1 Defense, +3 Speed

Field Notes
-There's an exploded Lucky Egg near Mimsy.
-The cream topping has been stirred up, but the cherry is on its side next to the tart.
-Parts of the road have been cracked or damaged by explosions.
-One of the blobs of cream has been splattered all over the road.
-There are a lot of leaves, strawberry juice, and seeds around the tart.

Round 6

Mimsy's still a bit out of it when the referee lowers her flags, but she definitely hears her trainer's bold, over-9000-sized "Got it?!" and responds in kind, before sitting down by the tart to concentrate and calm down. This is it. This is her moment. She can't—no, she won't—let her trainer down now…!! And then Doctor Proctor hits her with a whirlwind of pummeling leaves, made even sharper by his manic laughter and held Leaf Stone, and the irrational rage from earlier returns… An ominous thunderclap shakes the skies as the two Pokemon, both tired beyond belief, face off next to the giant tart.

Eifie pauses in the ultimate destruction of her fingernails to watch with everyone else on the field as Music Dragon performs an ornate ritual that has been passed down through the Dragon family for generations! With the exclamation marks!!! Everyone flinches as another ominous thunderclap booms out from the void and a giant ethereal rabbit descends from the skies. "WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WISH, MORTAL?" booms the great visage of the one and only Easter Bunny. Transfixed, Music Dragon summons another flood of monopoly money and arranges it in a pile at the Bunny's feet.

The Easter Bunny pauses for a few moments, and then…

"haha joke's on you happy april fool's day"

And the trainers aren't even watching when Mimsy barrels into Doctor Proctor with all the force she can muster, blazing with Normal energy, or when Doctor Proctor crawls out of the wreckage barely conscious and throws one last seed-grenade at her, or when Mimsy finally, finally collapses, motionless…

And then Eifie destroys the tart with the help of the Easter Bunny and everyone lived happily ever after.

Eifie (x)
sentret
Mimsy (f) <Keen Eye> @ Lucky Egg
Health: 0%
Energy: 33%
Currently: Ultimate destructioned :(
Used: Focus Energy (clear head) ~ Sucker Punch + Last Resort ~ ultimate destructioned :(
espeon Eifie: 89 health / -926 energy / -1 Attack, -1 Defense, +1 Special Defense; Facade forgotten / Used: ultimate destruction of fingernails ~ ultimate destruction of fingernails ~ ultimate destruction of tart

Music Dragon (O)
Exeggcute
Doctor Proctor (m) <Chlorophyll> @ Leaf Stone
Health: 4%
Energy: 37%
Currently: Doing a victory lap (back in ASB central, of course.)
Used: Leaf Storm ~ Seed Bomb (~ Teleport)
dragonair Music Dragon: 75 health / 66 energy / -1 Attack, -1 Defense, +3 Speed / Used: Pray @ Easter Bunny ~ Pay Day @ Easter Bunny ~ (teleported)

Field Notes
-There's an exploded Lucky Egg near Mimsy.
-The cream topping has been stirred up, but the cherry is on its side next to the tart.
-Parts of the road have been cracked or damaged by explosions.
-One of the blobs of cream has been splattered all over the road.
-There are a lot of leaves, strawberry juice, and seeds around the tart.
-But all of that doesn't matter because Eifie has destroyed the tart in her rage, or something.

Mimsy: 35 - 23 (Leaf Storm) - 14 (Seed Bomb) = 0
51 - 5 (Focus Energy) - 13 (Sucker Punch + Last Resort) = 33
Eifie: 89 = 89
75 - 1 (ultimate destruction of fingernails) - 1 (ultimate destruction of fingernails) - 999 (ultimate destruction of tart) = -926
Doctor Proctor: 27 - 23 (Sucker Punch + Last Resort) = 4
45 - 6 (Leaf Storm) - 2 (Seed Bomb) = 37
MD: 75 = 75
69 - 1 (pray) - 2 (Pay Day) = 66
Action Notes
-IT'S STILL APRIL FOOLS DAY IN MY TIMEZONE DAMMIT
-Focus Energy lowered Mimsy's confusionfail rate by 5% since Leaf Storm was a critical hit.
-Leaf Storm was a critical hit.
-Sucker Punch + Last Resort created a +1 priority Normal move with 20% base damage and 14% base energy that only works when the user is under 33% health and the target is going to use a damaging move.
-Mimsy didn't confusionfail at all! But Sucker Punch + Last Resort needed 30 or under to proc a crit and I rolled 44. Whoops.

And the grand prize of the PACIFIC NORTHWEST RABBIT PUN FACTORY™ (along with the associated MASTER PLANS™) goes to Music Dragon! He gets $9, Eifie gets $4, I get $6, Doctor Proctor gets 2 exp and happiness and can now evolve, and Mimsy gets 2 exp and 1 happiness. Good game, guys, it was really fun to ref! (To claim your extra $1 link to the post where MD used Pay Day on everyone, I guess…?)
 
so this is an April Fool's Day joke, right, Mimsy? right?! you're gonna be a wondrous Furret now, right?!

My god, totally regretting spending the first round on joke moves instead of actual things. We should do this again sometime, MD!

Hold on... I don't get an extra dollar?!

Let's not do this again sometime, MD, bye...

edit: the sequel
 
Last edited:
Ohh! Oh my, we actually did it! I mean - ahem - of course we did! An eggs with a PhD never loses. Also, we kinda cheated with Swagger, so there's that. Anyway!

Thanks for a great battle, Eifie! If you want more sexy dance moves and fake money, you know where to find me. And thank you for reffing, Keldeo! You did a great job.

... Wh-what's happening? The tart - it's... erupting?? I'm outta here!
 
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