The Omskivar
chah, dude
A short story I wrote for two theater-kid sisters I know, who graduated from college and from highschool, respectively, at the end of the same year. There are numerous references to shows they were in or participated in in some way; off the top of my head there is Aladdin, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, The Little Mermaid, The Music Man, Scrooge, and The Wiz, but I know there's more.
There's going to be a sequel eventually, when Erin graduates from college.
The last names are never mentioned, as far as I know; if they are, they will be changed at time of posting. First names are the same, places are the same, I don't think it matters if people know that I/they live in Wisconsin and go to college in Kansas. That's about it.
Enjoy ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paula and Erin’s Excellent Adventure
A short story by The Omskivar
Once upon a time, very very recently in fact, there was a soon-to-be college graduate named Paula. Emphasis on the "soon" to be. In fact, Paula's graduation was about five hours away when we begin our tale, and she was getting ready to sing at her school's graduation ceremony, in her dorm at Benedictine College.
"La, la, la, LAAAAAA, la, la, laaaaaa," she sang in the mirror, doing fancy schmancy things with her hair and other things that don't have much plot significance. She raised the pitch of her voice.
"La, la, la, LAAAAAA, la, la, laaaaaaa," she sang again, this time in Db. She raised the pitch once more.
"La, la, la, LAAAAAAAAAAA--" CRASH!!!!! All of the windows in the building and all of the windows in every building adjacent to the tangent connecting the building with the other dorm building through an angle greater than or equal to seventy degrees shattered instantly.
Just kidding.
"La, la, la, LAAAAAA, la, la, laaaaaaaa," she finished neatly. She curtsied to no one, and, having finished primping and preening, indulged in a Twinkie lying on the counter in her bathroom. Don't ask me why there was a Twinkie in her bathroom; I haven't the faintest idea.
Paula checked to make sure no one was looking, then popped the whole Twinkie in her mouth, savoring its vanilla-y goodness.
Poof!
She disappeared.
No, seriously. She disappeared.
*Five minutes earlier*
Once upon a time, very very recently in fact, there was a soon-to-be highschool graduate named Erin. Emphasis on the "soon" to be. In fact, Erin's graduation was about five hours away when we begin our tale, and she was nervous as the ice cream truck guy in cannibal territory.
"La, la, la, l-lala--oh dear--" she sang halfheartedly, hoping to calm her nerves. It didn't exactly work. Erin was in the bathroom in her own house, instead of her college dorm, because that would be silly. Like Paula, though, she was doing plotwise-unnecessary things to her hair while singing.
"Luh, lala, la--ohhh dear," she repeated (more or less), her nerves still shot. She was homeschooled; there was no fancy-do graduation ceremony for her, but, as was customary in her family, there was a right of passage to be had when graduating highschool, and that was the Pat on the Back.
Erin vividly remembered her sister Paula's Pat on the Back; the poor girl had nearly fainted on the spot as it happened. Erin hated fainting. She hated spiders, too, but more importantly, she hated fainting, and she was sure that if she got her Pat on the Back without Paula for support then that's just what she would do.
As she exited the bathroom, Erin tripped over a conveniently placed, old-looking oil lamp. In an instant, there was a flash of light and a new beach ball smell, and out of the end of the lamp furled numerous wisps of smoke, which solidified (sort of) into the torso of Robin Willams.
"AAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH" yelled the torso of Robin Williams loudly, stretching his arms. "It feels good to be outta there. It also feels good to plagiarize. Anywho, ten thousand years and all that, now--" the torso of Robin Williams spoke increasingly faster as he continued, now looking around him for...something. "Where's my new master? I hope he's not a really short fella, they're so hard to keep track of--"
Erin coughed twice as she stood up, brushing herself off. Behind her, and unnoticed by her, the torso of Robin William looked under its right armpit to see the back of her head.
"MASTER!" the torso of Robin Williams cried, sweeping the very startled Erin into a midair bear hug. "Oh, I'm so glad you're not a pygmy--not the tallest, but you'll do--so! Down to business!" The torso of Robin Williams picked up Erin by the scruff of her neck and sat her down on the (thankfully closed) toilet seat, in the bathroom that she'd just exited.
"Who--who are you?" stammered Erin as fast as she could stammer, before the torso of Robin Williams could interrupt her.
"Why, I'm the torso of Robin Williams, of course," said the torso of Robin Williams. "And I've miraculously been turned into one of my 90's cartoon characters, so I'm here to grant you three wishes."
Erin looked at the torso of Robin Williams skeptically. "I don't believe you."
"Try making a wish!" encouraged the torso of Robin Williams.
Erin thought about it, then blurted, "I wish Paula was here!"
Poof!
Paula appeared.
No, seriously. She appeared.
Paula stumbled a bit, Twinkie in her mouth, disoriented by the random poofing bit. As
she came to her senses, Erin hugged her vigorously and explained to her the whole
story...
*Five minutes later*
"...and then the torso of Robin Williams poofed you here," finished Erin. The torso of Robin Williams bowed theatrically.
Paula, who had held the Twinkie in her mouth for five whole minutes, swallowed it and looked at Erin sympathetically. "It'll be fine. Dad pats you on the back, and it's over. You graduated. It's really not a big deal." They hugged. "But I really do have to go back to my dorm now, so!" She clapped her hands. "Torso of Robin Williams."
The torso of Robin Williams snapped into an erect stance and saluted her. "Yes, SAH!"
"I wish I were back at my college dorm, thank you."
The torso of Robin Williams saluted her again. "As you wish, SAH!" The torso of Robin Williams snapped its fingers.
Poof!
Paula reappeared in her dorm. "Ugh," she said to no one, shaking her head, "that was weird. Really really weird." A thought struck her. "I hope she doesn't wish me back again."
Poof!
Paula appeared next to Erin. She stumbled again, this time falling flat on her bum. She got up just in time to see the torso of Robin Williams fading away.
"Erin!" she cried, panicked. "Did you just use your last wish to bring me back here?"
"Um," said Erin meekly, "no?"
"Agh!" Paula stomped her foot in frustration, then hopped up and down on it, clutching her other foot, which she had just stomped on. "Erin, I think you already know this, but let me stress it to you again: I have to be at my graduation ceremony, singing in front of a bunch of strangers, in less than five hours. I really can't stay."
"But Paula!" said Erin, giving her best puppy dog face, which resembled Wishbone, "My Pat on the Back!"
"...Oh, fiddlesticks," said Paula, reverting to her British accent as she so often did. "Fine, let's go downstairs."
They headed down the hallway and down the stairs. Steve and Becky, their parents, were chatting in the kitchen.
"Oh! Um--Paula," Becky said, surprised, "I thought you'd be at college..."
"I, um...was just on my way there," said Paula, "but I thought I'd stop by to see Erin's Pat on the Back. Support the sister and things."
"Where are you coming from that you passed by here?" inquired Becky.
"Um...college," shrugged Paula.
"Okay then!" said Steve, before Becky coudl press any further. "C'mere, sweet pea, let's make you a graduate!"
Erin shuffled nervously forward, and all of a sudden, there it was, the mentally exaggerated, sweaty palm of her father; she turned away from it, tried to run, but Paula stuck out her foot; it all happened in slow motion, Erin twisting her legs together and falling to the floor, Steve's hand coming down and hitting his own thigh, and then it all snapped back to normal speed. Steve looked down at his daughter, a little confused, but shrugged and leaned down to pat her on the back.
"Congrats, hon," he said, and helped her to her feet. Becky came forward for a hug, saying, "I'm so proud of you!"
Paula shifted nervously. "Um, okay, I'll be going now...." Without waiting for an answer she grabbed Erin by the arm and hauled her out the front door.
"What?" whined Erin. "I'm done! Let me go! Just go back to college!"
"Ohoho, no," said Paula, adapting a German accent temporarily. "You got me out here, now you're going to help me get back! I have--" she checked her watch--"about four hours to get all the way back to Kansas, and by Jove you're going to help me get there."
Erin pouted for a second; then her face lit up with an idea. Paula covered her eyes, and Erin dimmed her face.
"What about that old car Nick found in the junkyard?" Erin suggested. "You know, that one he rescued from the junkman."
Paula scoffed. "That old thing? He just likes to pretend he's Speed Racer. That's not going to help us."
As if on cue, there came a sputtering like a dying train engine, and a large, mechanical shape rose into the sky from behind the garage. A large, beat-up old car was floating in a cloud of noxious exhaust fumes, and in the driver's seat was Paula and Erin's little brother Nick. He was waving his arms and cackling like a madman.
"GUESS WHAT!" he yelled, as Paula and Erin shared a thoughtful look. "THIS CAR CAN FLY! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Nick cackled as he veered off to the east, promptly hitting a tree and activating the air bag, which only served to catapult him out of the car and somehow give himself a wedgie on the top of a telephone pole. The car miraculously landed gently, untouched.
"GUESS WHAT!" yelled Nick again, "I'M STUCK!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Paula and Erin shook their heads, climbing into the flying floating magical car and revving the engine. Somehow instantly learning how do drive in midair, they left Nick stranded atop the telephone pole, delighted for no apparent reason.
*Five minutes later*
"I think you went the wrong way."
"I didn't go the wrong way."
"I really, really think you went the wrong way."
"I really, really think I know the way to my own college."
"I don't think there's an ocean between Wisconsin and Kansas."
Paula looked down; Erin was right. Nothing to be seen for miles except an endless stretch of blue water and a small deserted island with a grubby-looking man jumping up and down in front of the letters "H-E-L-F" scratched into the sand.
"This never would have happened if you'd just pull over and ask for directions."
"Pull over WHERE, Erin?"
"Let me drive."
"No!"
"You're going the wrong way!"
"Let go of the wheel Erin!"
Snap!
The steering wheel broke in half, which automatically triggered the car's self-destruct mechanism. As the countdown began (in a soothing, womanly voice), Paula and Erin looked at each other fearfully. They leaned forward to hug, but the car lurched suddenly and threw both of them into the ocean.
*Five minutes later*
Paula opened one eye lazily. All she could see out of her half-squint was a large mass of dark purple. Then the mass yelled "CRANBERRY SAUCE!"
Paula jumped up faster than thought, breathing heavily and completely confused. Erin stirred next to her. They appeared to be underwater, in two separate, giant bubbles, which defied the laws of physics and allowed them to breathe at the same time. They were in some sort of cave, with a strange pinkish glow emanating from the walls. The purple mass was a large octopus, with a rather obtuse woman's upper body and an unsightly mole.
"This one's a Turkey," declared the octopus. "Now, what is a Turkey and its girl doing in my kingdom?"
"Please, who or whatever you are," begged Paula, surreptitiously checking her watch and seeing that she had mere minutes left. "I was just trying to get to Kansas, I have to be at my graduation ceremony in a few minutes! Now I don't know what I'll do! There's no way to get from the middle of the ocean to the middle of nowhere in less than half an hour!" Tears welled up in Paula's eyes. The octopus looked at her, pityingly.
"Aww," she said, "isn't that sweet. Maybe Auntie Ursula can help you."
"I don't see how," piped up Erin. Ursula shot her a look that could've frozen Mr. Freeze while he was eating a Freezy Pop. In the freezer.
"Wisen up, girlie, because I happen to be the most powerful Sea Witch in all of the world! Now, I'd be more than happy to get you to your ceremony...for a price."
Paula was skeptical. "What price would that be?"
"Your voice."
There was a moment of silence. Actually, there wasn't, because Paula was smarter than that.
"Then there's no point in going to the ceremony," she argued. "I have to sing."
"Well," said Ursula, advancing on her, "I'm sure you can come up with some interpretive dan--"
Mid-word, Ursula froze entirely. The flickering pinkish lights froze as well, and so did everything else save Paula and Erin. They were bewildered for a moment, then a figure appeared before them.
It was dressed entirely in black, from a hooded hoodie to its black boots. It had a long, flowing cloak, that almost looked liek a superhero cape, but didn't. It held out a black-sleeved arm.
"I am the Ghost of Graduation Yet to Come," it said in a hoarse voice; it sounded as if the figure was talking through the back of a fan. "I have come to show you...the future."
"Um, hi," said Paula, waving briefly, "nice to meet you. But we really don't have time."
"Sucks to be you," said the ghost, and it showed them the future.
*Five minutes In teh FuTuRe WoOoOoOo*
Paula and Erin saw Paula's graduation. There was about ten minutes of naptime as Lenny, Paula's understudy, played an accordion, kazoo, and a set of bagpipes at the same time. While this shows great multitasking prowess, Lenny was unfortunately incapable of playing either instrument. The ghost forced Erin and Paula to sit through all of it, then transported them back to their own time.
*In teh PrEsEnT WoOoOoOo*
"So you see," said the Ghost, "It would really be tragic if you didn't make it to your graduation in time. That's why I've come to tell you that the power has been with you the whole time."
Paula held up her hand. "What? Whoa whoa whoa. Power? What power?"
"Tap your heels together three times--"
"Wait, why would I--"
Erin sighed, exasperatedly. "I got it!" She reached down and grabbed one of Paula's feet, hitting the other foot with it frantically.
"This isn't going to--"
"Now say 'I'm a goof!'"
"I don't see--"
"La," urged Erin, just do it!
"I'm a goof, but, you're a--"
Poof!
Paula and the Ghost disappeared, leaving Erin in the frozen chamber.
"The day is saved," Erin congratulated herself, patting herself on the back and straightening up. She looked around and realized she was still in the chamber, at the bottom of the sea, where everything was frozen and her phone got zero bars.
"...Great."
FIN
__________________
I'd really just like to know which parts are your guys' favorites. It doesn't take that long to post a small blurb and the words "I really liked this" or "this made me LOL" and for God's sake there's a quick-reply box, so please actually respond when you view the page, I don't like seeing "Views: 67" and "Replies: 1"
There's going to be a sequel eventually, when Erin graduates from college.
The last names are never mentioned, as far as I know; if they are, they will be changed at time of posting. First names are the same, places are the same, I don't think it matters if people know that I/they live in Wisconsin and go to college in Kansas. That's about it.
Enjoy ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paula and Erin’s Excellent Adventure
A short story by The Omskivar
Once upon a time, very very recently in fact, there was a soon-to-be college graduate named Paula. Emphasis on the "soon" to be. In fact, Paula's graduation was about five hours away when we begin our tale, and she was getting ready to sing at her school's graduation ceremony, in her dorm at Benedictine College.
"La, la, la, LAAAAAA, la, la, laaaaaa," she sang in the mirror, doing fancy schmancy things with her hair and other things that don't have much plot significance. She raised the pitch of her voice.
"La, la, la, LAAAAAA, la, la, laaaaaaa," she sang again, this time in Db. She raised the pitch once more.
"La, la, la, LAAAAAAAAAAA--" CRASH!!!!! All of the windows in the building and all of the windows in every building adjacent to the tangent connecting the building with the other dorm building through an angle greater than or equal to seventy degrees shattered instantly.
Just kidding.
"La, la, la, LAAAAAA, la, la, laaaaaaaa," she finished neatly. She curtsied to no one, and, having finished primping and preening, indulged in a Twinkie lying on the counter in her bathroom. Don't ask me why there was a Twinkie in her bathroom; I haven't the faintest idea.
Paula checked to make sure no one was looking, then popped the whole Twinkie in her mouth, savoring its vanilla-y goodness.
Poof!
She disappeared.
No, seriously. She disappeared.
*Five minutes earlier*
Once upon a time, very very recently in fact, there was a soon-to-be highschool graduate named Erin. Emphasis on the "soon" to be. In fact, Erin's graduation was about five hours away when we begin our tale, and she was nervous as the ice cream truck guy in cannibal territory.
"La, la, la, l-lala--oh dear--" she sang halfheartedly, hoping to calm her nerves. It didn't exactly work. Erin was in the bathroom in her own house, instead of her college dorm, because that would be silly. Like Paula, though, she was doing plotwise-unnecessary things to her hair while singing.
"Luh, lala, la--ohhh dear," she repeated (more or less), her nerves still shot. She was homeschooled; there was no fancy-do graduation ceremony for her, but, as was customary in her family, there was a right of passage to be had when graduating highschool, and that was the Pat on the Back.
Erin vividly remembered her sister Paula's Pat on the Back; the poor girl had nearly fainted on the spot as it happened. Erin hated fainting. She hated spiders, too, but more importantly, she hated fainting, and she was sure that if she got her Pat on the Back without Paula for support then that's just what she would do.
As she exited the bathroom, Erin tripped over a conveniently placed, old-looking oil lamp. In an instant, there was a flash of light and a new beach ball smell, and out of the end of the lamp furled numerous wisps of smoke, which solidified (sort of) into the torso of Robin Willams.
"AAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH" yelled the torso of Robin Williams loudly, stretching his arms. "It feels good to be outta there. It also feels good to plagiarize. Anywho, ten thousand years and all that, now--" the torso of Robin Williams spoke increasingly faster as he continued, now looking around him for...something. "Where's my new master? I hope he's not a really short fella, they're so hard to keep track of--"
Erin coughed twice as she stood up, brushing herself off. Behind her, and unnoticed by her, the torso of Robin William looked under its right armpit to see the back of her head.
"MASTER!" the torso of Robin Williams cried, sweeping the very startled Erin into a midair bear hug. "Oh, I'm so glad you're not a pygmy--not the tallest, but you'll do--so! Down to business!" The torso of Robin Williams picked up Erin by the scruff of her neck and sat her down on the (thankfully closed) toilet seat, in the bathroom that she'd just exited.
"Who--who are you?" stammered Erin as fast as she could stammer, before the torso of Robin Williams could interrupt her.
"Why, I'm the torso of Robin Williams, of course," said the torso of Robin Williams. "And I've miraculously been turned into one of my 90's cartoon characters, so I'm here to grant you three wishes."
Erin looked at the torso of Robin Williams skeptically. "I don't believe you."
"Try making a wish!" encouraged the torso of Robin Williams.
Erin thought about it, then blurted, "I wish Paula was here!"
Poof!
Paula appeared.
No, seriously. She appeared.
Paula stumbled a bit, Twinkie in her mouth, disoriented by the random poofing bit. As
she came to her senses, Erin hugged her vigorously and explained to her the whole
story...
*Five minutes later*
"...and then the torso of Robin Williams poofed you here," finished Erin. The torso of Robin Williams bowed theatrically.
Paula, who had held the Twinkie in her mouth for five whole minutes, swallowed it and looked at Erin sympathetically. "It'll be fine. Dad pats you on the back, and it's over. You graduated. It's really not a big deal." They hugged. "But I really do have to go back to my dorm now, so!" She clapped her hands. "Torso of Robin Williams."
The torso of Robin Williams snapped into an erect stance and saluted her. "Yes, SAH!"
"I wish I were back at my college dorm, thank you."
The torso of Robin Williams saluted her again. "As you wish, SAH!" The torso of Robin Williams snapped its fingers.
Poof!
Paula reappeared in her dorm. "Ugh," she said to no one, shaking her head, "that was weird. Really really weird." A thought struck her. "I hope she doesn't wish me back again."
Poof!
Paula appeared next to Erin. She stumbled again, this time falling flat on her bum. She got up just in time to see the torso of Robin Williams fading away.
"Erin!" she cried, panicked. "Did you just use your last wish to bring me back here?"
"Um," said Erin meekly, "no?"
"Agh!" Paula stomped her foot in frustration, then hopped up and down on it, clutching her other foot, which she had just stomped on. "Erin, I think you already know this, but let me stress it to you again: I have to be at my graduation ceremony, singing in front of a bunch of strangers, in less than five hours. I really can't stay."
"But Paula!" said Erin, giving her best puppy dog face, which resembled Wishbone, "My Pat on the Back!"
"...Oh, fiddlesticks," said Paula, reverting to her British accent as she so often did. "Fine, let's go downstairs."
They headed down the hallway and down the stairs. Steve and Becky, their parents, were chatting in the kitchen.
"Oh! Um--Paula," Becky said, surprised, "I thought you'd be at college..."
"I, um...was just on my way there," said Paula, "but I thought I'd stop by to see Erin's Pat on the Back. Support the sister and things."
"Where are you coming from that you passed by here?" inquired Becky.
"Um...college," shrugged Paula.
"Okay then!" said Steve, before Becky coudl press any further. "C'mere, sweet pea, let's make you a graduate!"
Erin shuffled nervously forward, and all of a sudden, there it was, the mentally exaggerated, sweaty palm of her father; she turned away from it, tried to run, but Paula stuck out her foot; it all happened in slow motion, Erin twisting her legs together and falling to the floor, Steve's hand coming down and hitting his own thigh, and then it all snapped back to normal speed. Steve looked down at his daughter, a little confused, but shrugged and leaned down to pat her on the back.
"Congrats, hon," he said, and helped her to her feet. Becky came forward for a hug, saying, "I'm so proud of you!"
Paula shifted nervously. "Um, okay, I'll be going now...." Without waiting for an answer she grabbed Erin by the arm and hauled her out the front door.
"What?" whined Erin. "I'm done! Let me go! Just go back to college!"
"Ohoho, no," said Paula, adapting a German accent temporarily. "You got me out here, now you're going to help me get back! I have--" she checked her watch--"about four hours to get all the way back to Kansas, and by Jove you're going to help me get there."
Erin pouted for a second; then her face lit up with an idea. Paula covered her eyes, and Erin dimmed her face.
"What about that old car Nick found in the junkyard?" Erin suggested. "You know, that one he rescued from the junkman."
Paula scoffed. "That old thing? He just likes to pretend he's Speed Racer. That's not going to help us."
As if on cue, there came a sputtering like a dying train engine, and a large, mechanical shape rose into the sky from behind the garage. A large, beat-up old car was floating in a cloud of noxious exhaust fumes, and in the driver's seat was Paula and Erin's little brother Nick. He was waving his arms and cackling like a madman.
"GUESS WHAT!" he yelled, as Paula and Erin shared a thoughtful look. "THIS CAR CAN FLY! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Nick cackled as he veered off to the east, promptly hitting a tree and activating the air bag, which only served to catapult him out of the car and somehow give himself a wedgie on the top of a telephone pole. The car miraculously landed gently, untouched.
"GUESS WHAT!" yelled Nick again, "I'M STUCK!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Paula and Erin shook their heads, climbing into the flying floating magical car and revving the engine. Somehow instantly learning how do drive in midair, they left Nick stranded atop the telephone pole, delighted for no apparent reason.
*Five minutes later*
"I think you went the wrong way."
"I didn't go the wrong way."
"I really, really think you went the wrong way."
"I really, really think I know the way to my own college."
"I don't think there's an ocean between Wisconsin and Kansas."
Paula looked down; Erin was right. Nothing to be seen for miles except an endless stretch of blue water and a small deserted island with a grubby-looking man jumping up and down in front of the letters "H-E-L-F" scratched into the sand.
"This never would have happened if you'd just pull over and ask for directions."
"Pull over WHERE, Erin?"
"Let me drive."
"No!"
"You're going the wrong way!"
"Let go of the wheel Erin!"
Snap!
The steering wheel broke in half, which automatically triggered the car's self-destruct mechanism. As the countdown began (in a soothing, womanly voice), Paula and Erin looked at each other fearfully. They leaned forward to hug, but the car lurched suddenly and threw both of them into the ocean.
*Five minutes later*
Paula opened one eye lazily. All she could see out of her half-squint was a large mass of dark purple. Then the mass yelled "CRANBERRY SAUCE!"
Paula jumped up faster than thought, breathing heavily and completely confused. Erin stirred next to her. They appeared to be underwater, in two separate, giant bubbles, which defied the laws of physics and allowed them to breathe at the same time. They were in some sort of cave, with a strange pinkish glow emanating from the walls. The purple mass was a large octopus, with a rather obtuse woman's upper body and an unsightly mole.
"This one's a Turkey," declared the octopus. "Now, what is a Turkey and its girl doing in my kingdom?"
"Please, who or whatever you are," begged Paula, surreptitiously checking her watch and seeing that she had mere minutes left. "I was just trying to get to Kansas, I have to be at my graduation ceremony in a few minutes! Now I don't know what I'll do! There's no way to get from the middle of the ocean to the middle of nowhere in less than half an hour!" Tears welled up in Paula's eyes. The octopus looked at her, pityingly.
"Aww," she said, "isn't that sweet. Maybe Auntie Ursula can help you."
"I don't see how," piped up Erin. Ursula shot her a look that could've frozen Mr. Freeze while he was eating a Freezy Pop. In the freezer.
"Wisen up, girlie, because I happen to be the most powerful Sea Witch in all of the world! Now, I'd be more than happy to get you to your ceremony...for a price."
Paula was skeptical. "What price would that be?"
"Your voice."
There was a moment of silence. Actually, there wasn't, because Paula was smarter than that.
"Then there's no point in going to the ceremony," she argued. "I have to sing."
"Well," said Ursula, advancing on her, "I'm sure you can come up with some interpretive dan--"
Mid-word, Ursula froze entirely. The flickering pinkish lights froze as well, and so did everything else save Paula and Erin. They were bewildered for a moment, then a figure appeared before them.
It was dressed entirely in black, from a hooded hoodie to its black boots. It had a long, flowing cloak, that almost looked liek a superhero cape, but didn't. It held out a black-sleeved arm.
"I am the Ghost of Graduation Yet to Come," it said in a hoarse voice; it sounded as if the figure was talking through the back of a fan. "I have come to show you...the future."
"Um, hi," said Paula, waving briefly, "nice to meet you. But we really don't have time."
"Sucks to be you," said the ghost, and it showed them the future.
*Five minutes In teh FuTuRe WoOoOoOo*
Paula and Erin saw Paula's graduation. There was about ten minutes of naptime as Lenny, Paula's understudy, played an accordion, kazoo, and a set of bagpipes at the same time. While this shows great multitasking prowess, Lenny was unfortunately incapable of playing either instrument. The ghost forced Erin and Paula to sit through all of it, then transported them back to their own time.
*In teh PrEsEnT WoOoOoOo*
"So you see," said the Ghost, "It would really be tragic if you didn't make it to your graduation in time. That's why I've come to tell you that the power has been with you the whole time."
Paula held up her hand. "What? Whoa whoa whoa. Power? What power?"
"Tap your heels together three times--"
"Wait, why would I--"
Erin sighed, exasperatedly. "I got it!" She reached down and grabbed one of Paula's feet, hitting the other foot with it frantically.
"This isn't going to--"
"Now say 'I'm a goof!'"
"I don't see--"
"La," urged Erin, just do it!
"I'm a goof, but, you're a--"
Poof!
Paula and the Ghost disappeared, leaving Erin in the frozen chamber.
"The day is saved," Erin congratulated herself, patting herself on the back and straightening up. She looked around and realized she was still in the chamber, at the bottom of the sea, where everything was frozen and her phone got zero bars.
"...Great."
FIN
__________________
I'd really just like to know which parts are your guys' favorites. It doesn't take that long to post a small blurb and the words "I really liked this" or "this made me LOL" and for God's sake there's a quick-reply box, so please actually respond when you view the page, I don't like seeing "Views: 67" and "Replies: 1"
