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Old 07-02-2008, 10:29 PM
Drifloon Rocks's Avatar
Drifloon Rocks Drifloon Rocks is offline
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Posticon Paper A Drifloon Diary

It's back! I've updated the story in many parts. I've changed parts around and stuff. But I need a new title for the story. "A Drifloon Day" just didn't cut it. So in order to receive title suggestions, I need to tell you a bit about the plot. It has to do with Arceus and the Plates. That's all I'm going to say. So, without further ado, here's the first part (with some changes). I'm sorry the first two days are badly written. I'll rewrite them when I have time.

~~~~~~~~~~

Day One: Darn that Delcatty!

I woke up and unwrapped my strings from the branch I was holding (I hold on to branches when I sleep so I don't blow away). I floated into the glade where I live to pick some berries. The sky was dark and overcast. It looked like a storm! I love damp weather!

After a quick breakfast or an Oran Berry, I waited for the rain to start. In only about ten minutes, it started to drizzle. I twirled around in the rain and splashed my strings in the mud. A few hours later, when the storm was dissipating, I decided to eat lunch and follow the storm. I picked a Pecha Berry from a nearby tree. Just as I was about to eat it, a Delcatty burst from the bushes and snatched it from my strings. I puffed up in anger and instinctively fired a Shadow Ball at the Delcatty. The Delcatty shrugged it off as if nothing had happened. Then, I remembered that Normal-type Pokemon aren't affected by Ghost-type attacks. I was angrier than before, so, puffing my self up, I used Gust against the Delcatty. It worked. The Delcatty, and my Pecha Berry, were blown from the glade.

I picked another Pecha Berry and ate it as I floated up into the moist clouds and let the wind carry me. I could see the Valley Windworks passing below me and Floaroma Town in the distance. After a few hours of drifting with the storm, it began to get dark, so I headed back to my glade. I arrived about ten minutes after the sun had set. I was tired from my day, so I wrapped my strings around the nearest branch and drifted off to sleep.

Day Two: Delcatty and Friends

I awoke in the glade where I live. Everything was damp from yesterday’s storm. I was eating a breakfast of Pecha Berries when the Delcatty from yesterday showed up, followed by four other Delcatty! All at once, each Delcatty’s mouth glowed bluish-white. They were all going to use Blizzard on me! I’m part Flying-type, so I’m weak to ice type attacks. I panicked.

The glow grew brighter, and then they all used Blizzard at once. I braced myself for the icy blast, but nothing happened. I opened my eyes and saw snow swirling all around me. I was very confused. Once the attack stopped, all the Delcatty looked confused as well. Then I remembered that Delcatty can have the ability Normalize, which makes all its moves into Normal-type. I’m part Ghost-type, so Normal attacks don’t affect me! I had the advantage.

I readied the biggest Gust attack I could muster, and WHOOOSH! All the Delcatty were blown out of the glade. I decided to finish off with a Silver Wind attack to make sure they wouldn’t come back.

I spent the rest of the day playing in the mud and washing off in a stream that had risen from yesterday’s storm. Once I was all clean, I once again latched onto a branch and fell asleep.


Day Three: David and Delcatty

The next morning, I woke up to an icy sensation. Startled, I let go of the tree I slept in and jumped back (more like floated rapidly back). My entire glade was covered in ice! Had it frozen while I slept? Confused, I touched the ground. It was freezing. Suddenly, I heard a noise from behind me.

“Nreeowwow.” I’m glad to see you’re up.

Surprised, I turned around. There sat the Delcatty, licking its front paw.

I puffed up. “Foo, fooloon!” You can’t hurt me! I warned. How dare that Delcatty freeze my home! I prepared to fire a Gust at the pest, but before I could attack, I heard a voice.

“Delcatty!” the voice groaned. “Come on! Quit doing this! You know I hate it when you run away!” Suddenly, a boy burst into the ice-covered glade. He tried to stop, but he kept going and slid into a tree. Grasping the tree for balance, he turned around and I got a good look at him.

He was slightly tall and had long arms. His eyes were dark-brown and spiky purple hair stuck out from his green hat. He wore long, blue jeans, a green T-shirt, and a blue vest.

“Aargh!” he yelled. “Delcatty! You froze, this glade, didn’t you? This is the third day in a row you’ve run off. That’s it! I’ve had it!” He pulled a small, red and white ball from his belt. He pressed a button on the front of the ball and it grew. “Return,” he scowled. A beam of red light shot out at the Delcatty, and when it touched her, she turned red and was sucked into the ball.

I blinked. I had seen humans before, but this one was different. Angrier. He sighed and, as he turned to walk away, he spotted me and gasped.

“Oh! A Drifloon!” His tome of voice had changed to one of excitement. He reached into his vest pocket ant pulled out a blue rectangle. The rectangle opened up and a voice came from it.

“Drifloon, the Balloon Pokemon. Drifloon love damp weather. When it rains, they puff themselves up with happiness.”

“Cool!” the boy said. Then he mumbled, “I wanna catch it, but I don’t want to use that stupid Delcatty, and I don’t have any other Pokemon.” He started to sulk away.

This boy intrigued me. He had gone from being angry to being excited to being gloomy in a few seconds. I floated after him. He didn’t notice me following him, so I kept on floating. After a few minutes, he exited out of the forest and into a clearing. I followed. On the other side of a fence was a large building with a windmill on each side. The Valley Windworks. I knew the windworks well. I often visited to see the windmills spinning and the people walking in and out of the front doors.

The boy hopped over the fence and walked toward the building. Cautiously, I followed. I had never been this close to a human building before. When he neared the doors, they slid open. Nervously, I followed him through the silvery doors. He still didn’t notice me.

The lobby of the building was cool and well lit. A few people sat in cushy chairs that lined the left and right walls. At the far end of the room, there was a desk, but no one was behind it. Suddenly, the boy yelled.

“Hey! Does anyone want a Delcatty?! Free Delcatty! Please take her!”

“Excuse me son.” A man stood up from one of the chairs. He was very tall, had white hair, and wore a brown overcoat. He walked over to the boy. He was about to say something when he spotted me. “Is this your Drifloon?”

The boy spun around and stared at me. “Uhh… No… Hey! Are you the same Drifloon from a few minutes ago? Did you follow me?” I bobbed my body up and down in a nod.

“Cool,” he said as he turned back to the man. This boy was very interesting.

“What were you saying, Professor?”

“Hmm. David, what were you yelling about a Delcatty a minute ago?” the man said.

“Oh,” David replied. “You know my mom’s Delcatty? She gave it to me to use on my Pokemon journey, but all it’s been is a pest. It ignores me and froze a glade in the forest with Blizzard! I wanna get rid of it.”

“Hmm. Not so fast, boy. Pokemon don’t deserve to be treated as possessions. You know that.”

“I know, but this one has been really annoying to me and won’t stop escaping from her Pokeball and running away!” He sounded exasperated.

“Now.” The man, whom the boy had called ‘Professor’, reprimanded. “I understand that Delcatty may not like you. Maybe she doesn’t like you because you don’t like her.”

“Professor, I really don’t want to go on the rest of my journey with this Delcatty. It’s been annoying me nonstop for four days! Will you take it off my hands? Please?” David pleaded.

The professor heaved a sigh. “Alright. I’ll take the Delcatty for you. Hmm! Maybe I could study the effects of a Moonstone on its evolution!... But if I take her, you won’t have a Pokemon for your journey. Ah! I have an idea!” he exclaimed.

He walked over to the chair in which he had been sitting. He pulled it aside and revealed a video screen. He pushed a few buttons and a man’s head appeared on the screen.

“Oh! Hello Professor! What do you need?” the screen said.

“Yes. Could you beam one of my starting trainer Pokemon over here, please?”

“Of course sir. Which one do you want?”

The professor turned to David. “Do you have any preference?”

David shook his head. “Surprise me,”

The professor turned back to the screen and chuckled. “You heard the boy. Send over whichever one you feel like.”

“Got it.” The man on the screen smiled. Then, a small tube next to the screen started to glow. In a moment, the glow faded, and there sat another one of those red and white balls. The man picked it up.

“David. Please take this Pokemon. I will take the Delcatty for you. It will be very helpful to my evolution research. Please take good care of this Pokemon. If you don’t like it, please try to cope. I’m sure that over time, you will become great friends.”

The boy handed his red and white ball to the man and the man handed his to the boy. David seemed to squeeze the ball slightly. It opened up, and a white light burst out. The light formed into the shape of a small bird. Then the light faded and a Piplup appeared.

“Piplup, piplup, piiiplup!” Hello! Where am I? It cried. The Piplup spotted the professor and beamed.

“Piiplup!” Hello, hello Professor! Piplup got very excited and started to dance. Out of nowhere, I felt a drizzle, and a few seconds later, it turned into rain. Indoors?

“Uh oh! It used Rain Dance!” The professor covered himself with his overcoat.

The boy smiled as rain streaked down his face. “I like him. He’s cute and playful. Look at him dancing around!”

I was very excited. Rain! My favorite weather! I puffed up and cried out.

“Floooooon!” Woohooooo! The boy turned around.

“Oops! I forgot you were there! You like rain too, I guess. Oh yeah. The Pokedex said you like damp weather. Hehe.”

The boy, the professor, the Piplup, and I laughed. I really liked this boy. David. I wanted to travel with him, but could I do that? I wasn’t sure how people ever got Pokemon into that little ball anyway. I floated over and tapped one of the balls on his belt with my string.

“So you like my Pokeball?” he asked. I tapped it again, then puffed up.

“David,” the professor explained. “I think that Drifloon wants to be yours!”

“Drif, fooloo!” Yes! Yes! I do!

“Really?” The boy tilted his head to one side. I tapped he ball again. “Okay then!”

He pulled the ball out of his belt and pressed the button, making it bigger. Then I saw a flash of red light. Suddenly, I was inside some kind of round room. I felt the room wobble. Once, twice, three times. Then it stopped.

Still Day Three: The Journey Begins!

Immediately after the room stopped shaking, I felt a strange pull. Then, I saw nothing but white light. I felt myself thrust forward and the light faded. I was back in the room with the boy, the Piplup and the professor. It was still raining.

“Wow!” the boy exclaimed. “Two new Pokemon in two minutes! I’ll bet that’s a new world record!”

I puffed up in a smile. “Floo, loon!” This is exciting!

The rain started to dissipate and the Professor said, “David, why don’t you use your Pokedex to check them out?”

“Good idea. Let’s see what moves you know, little guy.” David whipped out the blue rectangle, which the professor had called a ‘Pokedex’, and it opened. I heard a few beeps come from it, and then the boy said, “Hmm… He’s a male, and he knows Constrict, Gust, Shadow Ball, Silver Wind, and Defog. Wow! 5 moves! And one of them is a Bug-type move… How random. Oh well. Let’s see what Piplup knows.” He pointed the Pokedex at Piplup, who was splashing in a puddle. The machine beeped a few more times. “Cool. He’s also male and knows Bubble, Peck, Rain Dance, and Ice Beam.”

The professor turned to David and spoke. “Well, I have you Delcatty, you have my Piplup, and a Drifloon… I’d say you’re set to start your journey. I’ll be sure to tell your mother what happened so she doesn’t worry.”

“I think I’ll keep you guys out of your Pokeballs for a while.” David said to us. “Come on. I’ll tell you all about myself. We’ll head to Eterna City so I can get my first badge!”

Badge? What was that? Wow. All these new words and things. This was so exciting! I couldn’t wait to begin my journey with David!

**********

The boy started to walk out of the building, so Piplup and I followed him. I assumed he was going toward this ‘Eterna City’ he spoke of a moment before. Piplup and I caught up with him by the time he left the Windworks territory.

“Do you guys mind if I tell you about myself for a while?” he asked us. We shook our heads.

“Cool. Alright… Where to begin. I guess I’ll start with the Delcatty.

“My mom gave me that Delcatty a few days ago. She told me she used to be hers, and she’d never liked her. She thought that maybe I could get her to like me. But since the professor really wanted it and I really didn’t, I gave her to the professor. In return, he game me you, Piplup.” He smiled at the penguin Pokemon.

“I’ve waited so long to go on my own Pokemon journey. Most kids start when they turn ten, but my mom said to wait a few more years. So, here I am, 14 years old, just starting my Pokemon journey.”

“My main goal is to collect 8 Sinnoh badges and participate in, and maybe even win, the Sinnoh Pokemon League. But I have a side goal. You see, I’ve watched Pokemon Contests on TV since I was little. I’ve always thought it would be cool to show off your Pokemon’s moves in creative ways. I also hope to get 5 Sinnoh contest ribbons and participate in the Sinnoh Grand Festival.”

After this, David was silent. He walked, Piplup waddled, and I floated on. We continued on a narrow path through the trees in silence for a few hours. Once the sun had glided past the middle of the sky, David stopped. He sat down on a fallen tree and slung an orange backpack off his back.

“Lunch time!” he announced. He reached into the bag and pulled out a sandwich in a bag, a large metal can, and a small bowl. He popped the lid off the can and filled the bowl with Pokemon food. While he munched his sandwich, Piplup and I sampled the brown pellets. We both enjoyed them much more than we thought we would. Once we were all done eating, he placed the bowl, can, and empty bag back into his pack and slung it over his shoulder.

He stood up and walked on. I guessed that this journey would involve a lot of walking, or in my case, floating.

As we walked, I heard many Pokemon’s voices.

“Bur, burmy!” Quick! Hide!

“Shii-inxx!” It’s a human!

“Starlyyyyyy, starly, star.” Relax, he’s with Pokemon.

Apparently, many humans had walked this path before, as the Pokemon grew used to our presence and relaxed a great deal. We traveled for many hours, being greeted by forest Pokemon. Occasionally, David would talk to us. He told us about trainers and coordinators and how they catch and raise Pokemon. I liked learning about all this. It was a bit confusing- I couldn’t remember it all, but I was sure I would over time.

Once the sky started to turn orange in the setting sun, David said, “Almost dark. Lets set up camp.”

He walked into the bushed in search for a good place to camp. It took him only a few minutes to find a small clearing in which we could sleep. In the middle of the clearing was a small burned patch of ground surrounded by stones. It looked like there had been a small fire.

“Hey, I’ll set up the tent. Will you guys go find some dry twigs and leaves for a fire?”

Piplup nodded confidently. He marched off into the woods. I floated off in the opposite direction. I picked up some sticks and brought them back to David. He was rolling something yellow flat on the ground. I approached for a closer look, and accidentally dropped the sticks I was holding on his head. He yelled. “Ouch!” Then, he smiled and laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m okay. Could you pick these up and put them in the fire pit over there?” He motioned to the black area. I picked them back up and put them in the ‘fire pit’.

I decided to get more in case they were needed. I headed back into the woods and collected more sticks. When I returned, a small tent was assembled and David stood in front of it, dusting his hands. I dropped the sticks into the fire pit and floated over to David. He ducked own and crawled into the tent. I followed. There was a sleeping bag rolled out inside the tent. There was really nothing else to see, so I floated out. Then, David called out from inside the tent.

“Hey, I haven’t seen Piplup in a while. Would you go look for him while I get the fire started?” Nodding, I floated off in the direction Piplup had headed. I knew it wouldn’t be easy to find him in the twighlight, but I looked anyways. After looking for about five minutes, I heard his voice.

“Pluuuup!” Come on! I headed in the direction of his voice. I found him trying to pull a large felled tree toward our camp. Obviously, he wasn’t succeeding. I told him David wanted us back, and we returned to the camp, Piplup grumbling about the tree.

Once we were back at camp, David poured us some more Pokemon food and made himself a can of soup. After we had eaten, He poured some sand on the fire and crawled into the tent. We followed him. He took two small pillows out of his bag and placed them on either side of the sleeping bag. As he curled up in the bag, Piplup and I lay down on the pillows. In only a few minutes, we were all asleep, dreaming about new adventures.

~~~~~~~~~~

Oh! Also, a note about the next chapter: I added another part to it. I will post it in a couple of days. Please re-read it and tell me what you think.

I NEED TITLE SUGGESTIONS!
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Last edited by Drifloon Rocks; 07-13-2008 at 10:50 PM.
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Old 07-02-2008, 11:48 PM
Dragon_night Dragon_night is offline
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Default Re: UNTITLED! (Need Suggestions)

Excellent. You took a while getting this back ^^

Anyway, not much to critique on, but the Arceus thing sound interesting.

Keep it up!
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Old 07-03-2008, 12:00 AM
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Alxprit Alxprit is offline
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Default Re: UNTITLED! (Need Suggestions)

I can't do titles for my life.
But yes, it's good to see this back. And for my friend here to see it for the first time.
It took some sort of change from carefree days to being owned. Ah well, not all Pokémon can end up avoiding it, right? Right?
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Last edited by Alxprit; 07-03-2008 at 10:43 PM.
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Old 07-03-2008, 05:32 AM
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Dragonclaw Dragonclaw is offline
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Default Re: UNTITLED! (Need Suggestions)

Oh yay, it's back. ^^

Title: Drifloon's Diary? I don't know 8D
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Old 07-03-2008, 06:26 AM
Dragon_night Dragon_night is offline
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Default Re: UNTITLED! (Need Suggestions)

Oh, I just thought of some names for your fic!

Driftloon's plates (because Arceus' plates is involved)

Plates of Arceus (Sound interesting, but people might be disappointed after the first few chapters without the plates there)

Life and tales of Driftloon (Meh, now I'm getting lazy)

The Driftloon and the magic plates (Okay, maybe disregard this one >_>)
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Old 07-03-2008, 06:38 AM
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OrangeAipom OrangeAipom is offline
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Default Re: UNTITLED! (Need Suggestions)

I'll think about plates that people eat off of with those titles.
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Old 07-05-2008, 07:34 PM
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Drifloon Rocks Drifloon Rocks is offline
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Default Re: UNTITLED! (Need Suggestions)

I think "A Drifloon Diary" would be the best title, since it's a day-to-day thing. Here's the next chapter, with some major modifications.

~~~~~~~~~~
Day Four: The Secret of the Old Chateau

“I’ll bet that’s Eterna Forest!” David yelled as he ran ahead of us. “My Poketch says it’s just ahead of us! I had learned that a Poketch was a machine humans wore that did many different things. Apparently, his Poketch had a map function.

About a mile ahead of us, the trees thickened. Near (but not at) the far end of the forest, I could see the top of a large building. Beyond that, there was nothing but more trees. Just looking at the building made me feel strange. It was somehow… sinister. Piplup was also staring, but I could tell he didn’t get the same uncomfortable feeling I was getting.

“Come on, you guys! We’ll see the building once we get there! Right now, we need to keep walking. It looks like a storm may be approaching.”

He was right. The sky was overcast and he clouds near the horizon were very dark. I could see flashes of lightning lighting them up. As we hurried toward the forest, I could hear the shuffling of Pokemon getting ready for the approaching storm. In ten minutes, we had reached the edge of Eterna Forest.

As we traveled through the thickening trees, David spoke. “We need to find someplace to camp pretty soon. That storm looks like it will be here in only a few hours.”

The journey continued in silence for about an hour. Then, David spotted something purple in a nearby tree. “Is that a Pokemon?” He whipped out his Pokedex to check it out.

“Cherrim, the Blossom Pokemon. Cherrim curl up their petals when the sun doesn’t shine. When it’s sunny, they open up to absorb the light.”

“Cool! A Grass-type! I’m gonna catch it!” He looked at me. “Grass-types are weak to Flying-type moves. Drifloon, use Gust!”

He had never told me to use an attack before. I wasn’t sure what to do. This Cherrim hadn’t done anything to me. It looked young and was curled up peacefully in the tree. But I didn’t want to make David angry, and he said he wanted to catch it, so maybe the Cherrim would be my friend. I attacked.

The Cherrim quickly opened up. Once I was done attacking, it fired three glowing yellow seeds at us from the top of its head. One seed hit each of us and melted into our skin like a snowflake on a warm rock. Uh oh. I could feel the seed doing its work. So could David.

“Huh. What was that? Eww… It feels really weird.”

While David was distracted, the Cherrim darted off. I knew what attack it had used: Worry Seed. We wouldn’t be able to fall asleep for at least a day. That wasn’t a good thing.

“Well, the feeling’s gone now. At least it didn’t hurt. Now where’s that Cherrim?” He looked around. “Dang it! It escaped!” He sighed and walked on. Another uh oh. I didn’t think David knew what the attack was.

About four hours later, the sky had darkened with the twighlight and the overhanging storm clouds. “I’m really tired. Let’s take a quick break,” David said. He sat against a tree and started to pat Piplup and me on the head. I liked it, but Piplup was ecstatic. He was jumping up and down and spinning around. Then he started to dance.

“No, Piplup!” David yelled. But it was too late. The clouds dumped gallons of water on us all at once. “Great. You started the storm. Now our tent will get wet and we won’t be able to make a fire. At least we can stay dry under this tree.

No sooner than he had spoken, a bolt of white lightning hit a nearby tree and a blast of thunder slammed our ears. The tree exploded into thousands of tiny splinters and a smoldering stump was all that was left of it.

“Okay, who votes we run?” David asked shakily.

“Piiplup!” I’m with you!

“Floon!” Me too!

We ran. All around us, lightning shattered trees and thunder boomed. We had only run for a minute when we came into a large clearing with an equally large building in the center. Instinctively, he and Piplup rushed towards it. I stayed behind for a moment. This was the building I had seen from the edge of the forest. It felt even more sinister now that I was closer. But I had to follow David. Once he reached the front doors, he flung them open and we hurried inside. Then he shut the doors and called out.

“I’m sorry for barging in! It’s raining buckets out there! There’s lightning hitting the trees!” He paused and waited for an answer, but none came. “Hello? Is anyone home?” Silence. David looked around the room. The room was lit with a large chandelier. There was a door straight ahead and one to the right. A stairway in the back led to another floor with a few more doors. I could sense something in this room. Pokemon. Ghost Pokemon. Hundreds of them. I couldn’t see them, but I could feel them.

Suddenly, a large orange tongue came out of the air and licked David. “Ouch! Where did that come from?” As he spoke, a misty Ghastly appeared in front of his face. David screamed.

“Ghasssssss!” Gotcha! hissed the Ghastly. As if on signal, hundreds of Pokemon appeared out of thin air. Ghastly, Haunter, Gengar, Froslass, Mismagius… Every ghost Pokemon I knew of. They floated around us and stared into our eyes. Then, their eyes turned pink. They were all using Hypnosis!

The stared for more than a minute. “What are they doing?” David wondered aloud. The Pokemon stopped, dumbfounded. They all cried out at once.

“Fross, froslass?” What happened?

“Blim, bloon?” Why didn’t it work?

“Foolooonoo.” Now we won’t get to play with them.

“Misdreevuss.” Maybe they have Insomnia.

“Duskulll, skull.” Humans can’t have Insomnia.

I wondered why the attack didn’t work. Then I remembered. The Worry Seed that the Cherrim had used prevented the Pokemon from putting us to sleep. Confused and scared, David spoke to the multitude of Pokemon. “Umm… Hello. I’m sorry for barging into your house. Please don’t hurt me. It’s really raining outside. I just want to stay here until the storm goes away.”

The Pokemon all looked at one another, and then nodded. A sigh of relief escaped David’s mouth. “Hmm… I think they’re all Ghost-types. Was that pink eye thing an attack?” He pulled his Pokedex out of his pocket and scanned the Ghastly that was still in front of him. “Hmm…” David liked to say ‘hmmm’ a lot. “Lick, Mean Look, Shadow Ball, Toxic, Protect, Nightmare and Hypnosis.” He turned and scanned a nearby Duskull. “Mean Look, Hypnosis, Will-o-wisp, Curse, and Astonish.” He scanned a Froslass. “Icy Wind, Ominous Wind, Tackle, Mean Look, Hypnosis, and Ice Punch.”

David thought. “They all have Mean Look and Hypnosis. I think it was mean look since their eyes turned pink, bit I’ll double check.” He pressed a few buttons on his Pokedex and the screen changed. “Let’s see… ‘Mean Look: Normal-type. Mean look traps the foe and prevents their escape. When used, the Pokemon shoots a red ball of light from its eyes at the foe .Once it hits, the foe won’t be able to escape for at least 30 minutes.’ Well, that’s not it. It must be Hypnosis.”

He pressed a few more buttons. “’Hypnosis: Psychic-type. Hypnosis puts the foe to sleep for a while. When used, the Pokemon’s eyes glow pink. Don’t look at them or you’ll fall asleep.’ But I looked. Why didn’t I fall asleep?” He kept reading. “’Hypnosis will not work if the foe has the ability Insomnia, Vital Spirit, or had been hit with the move Worry Seed.’ Worry Seed? What’s that?” He pressed a button. “’Worry Seed: Grass-type. Worry seed does not damage the foe. It will, however, prevent them from falling asleep for at least 24 hours.’ Oh! That must have been that weird see thing that Cherrim used on us! That’s why we didn’t fall asleep when they used Hypnosis!”

Good. Now David knew what had happened to us. I was sighing in relief when a chilling voice snapped me out of my thoughts

“Hhhheeeeeellllllppppppp uuuussssss…”

Night of Day Four: The Ghosts of the Old Chateau

“W-w-what was th-th-that?” David stuttered.

The voice came again, louder than before. “Hhhhhheeeeeelllllpppppp uuuuuuuussssss…” I didn’t think that was the voice of a talking Pokemon. It sounded more like a human. But not quite. There was something different about it. I couldn’t tell exactly what it was, but I sensed something abnormal about the voice.

The voice scared Piplup and David, too. In spite of the storm, they turned to run out of the building. I followed. I didn’t want to be in a building with that scary voice anymore. We were only a few feet out of the door when David stopped. At first, Piplup and I didn’t notice, so we kept going. But a few seconds later, we looked back and saw David frozen at the door. The Ghastly was behind him, a red glow fading from his eyes. It had just used Mean Look. David was trapped.

The Ghastly spoke to us telepathically. “Come back. Stay and play with us.” Piplup and I looked at each other. We couldn’t leave David behind. We had no choice but to reenter the building.

Once we were back inside, a two Haunter appeared on either side of the Ghastly. Their eyes turned red and two small glowing orbs shot out at us. Once they touched us, we were trapped as well. But what he did next surprised me. His eyes glowed a very bright red and a huge red orb burst from them. The orb broke into hundreds of smaller orbs, and each one of them touched one of the Pokemon in the room. Had he just used mean look on all of the other Pokemon as well?

“You will all stay. Stay. Stay and play with me.”

David tried to go out the door again. His feet kept walking, but his body didn’t move past the doorway. He turned to look at the Pokemon.

“Let me go!” All the fear in his voice had been replaced with anger. His voice echoed through the large room. The Pokemon were silent. “Where am I anyway?” David looked at his Poketch. “The Old Chateau? What’s that?”

Suddenly, a noise came from the doorway upstairs. Everyone in the room turned to look. Out of the opening came a small girl with red hair tied up in a bun. She wore a yellow dress. The child moved down the stairs without touching them. She kept gliding forward until she stood right in front of a shaking David.

“Hello. I apologize if I frightened you by calling for help earlier. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rose.” She stuck out her hand to shake with David. Unsure of what else to do, he reached out to receive the greeting, but his hand went through hers as if it were smoke.

“Oh, yes. I do apologize. I keep forgetting that I’m a ghost. I’ve been trapped here so long, you see.”

David stood, dumbfounded. He kept opening and closing his mouth, ad if to speak, but no words came out.

“If you would please follow me to the dining hall, I will introduce you to my father.” She turned and glided straight ahead to the door. Unsure of what else he could do, David followed. Piplup and I trailed behind David. Once we were through the door, Rose called out.

“Daddy, we have some visitors. Please come greet them.” A tall man in a grey suit appeared and glided over from the other side of a long table in the center of the room.

“Hello, sir.” He bowed. “Please call me Damien.” He smiled

David stuttered. “Umm… E-excuse me, uh… sir, but… I don’t understand this. What’s going on?”

“I apologize. Allow me to explain.” Damien floated over to a small dining chair and sat down. “Do you have time for a story?” David nodded, still a little dumbstruck. “ Good. You see, I used to be the butler for the family that made their residence here. My daughter Rose and I lived here with the family. One day, the owner of the house, a kindly old man by the name of Felix, received news that his mother from the Orre region was very ill. He immediately left with his family to take care of his mother. He left me in charge of the house until he returned. But he never did. I still do not know what happened to him and his family.”

David seemed a bit more relaxed, but he still has his doubts. “But… But Rose told me she was a ghost, and you floated over that table.”

“Ah, yes. You see, one stormy morning, I heard a sound from the foyer and thought that a vase had simply fallen over, so I went to go pick it up. Instead, I found a small, injured Ghastly that had entered the house looking for shelter. The Ghastly and I became the best of friends. We cleaned the house together every day, awaiting the return of the family. After a couple of months, I was beginning to doubt that the family was coming back, but I still stayed with Rose and Ghastly.”

“Then, one night, a terrible crash awoke me. It had come from the kitchen. I rushed downstairs to see what had made the noise, Ghastly following behind me. A large cupboard had fallen over. I could see Rose’s leg sticking out from the fallen shelf. The sight horrified me. It took all my strength to remove the cupboard from her small body. I bent down to see how hurt she was. She was breathing, but barely. She choked out a ‘Help me, Daddy.’ I knew it would be too late to save her by the time I got to the hospital. I laid my head on her and cried. Then, to my astonishment, Ghastly approached her. I really can’t explain quite how he did it… He sort of pulled her spirit out and her body disappeared. There she stood, my daughter a ghost.”

“I stared for a minute, thinking. After a while, I asked Ghastly to do the same with me. I didn’t want to be separated from my daughter. Ghastly agreed, I felt a sort of pulling, and my body was gone. It seemed to have been harder for Ghastly this time because I was fully living. Rose and I started to fade away into the next world. Ghastly looked sad. Then, his eyes glowed red and a small ball shot out and touched us. I don’t know what he did- I think it might have been a Pokemon move. But whatever it was, it trapped us in this world. It had been about a hundred years since then. Many ghost Pokemon have come to live here. About every half an hour, Ghastly will come and shoot a glowing red ball at us, preventing us from leaving. If we could simply avoid that happening for a while, we would be free, but wherever we try to hide, Ghastly finds us.”

David stood staring at Damien, hardly believing what he had told us. “Well,” David said with an air of uncertainty, “Maybe if we distract the Ghastly, it might give you enough time to escape?”

“That is quite the idea. Do you have any Pokemon?” David motioned to me and Piplup. “Oh, silly me, of course. Well, It’s been about 25 minutes since they used that move on us. A Pokemon should be coming any minute. I believe that if you can stall them for five more minutes, we can leave this world.

“Alright.” David looked at his Poketch. “It’s 11:53. We have to stall them until 11:58.” He pressed a few buttons. “I’ve set the timer. Are you guys ready?” David asked excitedly.

“Flooon!” I’m ready!

“Plup!” Me, too!

“Then let’s go!” He ran back into the main room. Piplup and I ran after him.

We burst into the foyer. “Piplup, use Ice Beam and Drifloon, use Shadow Ball on that Ghastly!”

The Pokemon in the room turned in surprise. Piplup fired an Ice Beam and I threw a Shadow Ball. The attacks hit dead-on, but the Ghastly only seemed to get angrier. He flew over and licked me.

“Driiiiiii!” Oowww! Lick was a Ghost-type move, which hurt me a lot.

“Piplup! Quick! Use Peck to get that Ghastly off Drifloon!” Piplup‘s beak glowed white, and he drove it into the smoky body of the Ghastly. All three of us were flung back against the wall.

“Drifloon, keep using Shadow Ball! Piplup, a barrage of Bubble!” We attacked. Once the bubbles and smoke cleared, the Ghastly sat, dazed on the floor.

Then, David’s watch beeped. Rose and Damien appeared in the middle of the room. The two ghosts started to fade from our view.

Suddenly, Ghastly jumped up. His eyes glowed red and a huge ball of energy almost filled the room. Once the glow cleared, Damien and Rose were still there. Trapped.

“STAY… AND… PLAAAAAAAAY!”

Oh no! I thought the Ghastly had gone crazy. I turned to David.

“Drifloon, use Shadow Ball! Piplup, Bubble!” We attacked again. Once again, as the smoke and bubbles cleared, we saw Ghastly. He was glowing green.

“It used Protect! David, you have to attack between Protects!” Damien screamed.

Ghastly floated up over the balcony and into a door on the top floor. “Follow it!” David yelled. Everyone followed.

We all burst through the door into a silent hallway. All the Pokemon had followed us. Then a thought entered my mind. Why hadn’t the other Ghost Pokemon been fighting us? Were they on our side? If so, why weren’t they attacking Ghastly? And why did they try to hypnotize us? Was Ghastly somehow controlling them, or were they just too scared to attack him?

I had no more time to think. A loud boom behind a door to our right startled me. “ He’s behind that door!” David was passionate. He wasn’t scared at all anymore. Determination and strength filled his voice.

David burst through the door. It was a large room with several couches and cushy chairs. In the back of the room was a machine that looked like the screen from the windworks, but much larger and thicker. A thick cord connected it to a power outlet on the wall. Aside from these, the room seemed to be empty.

“I know you’re in here! Why are you keeping Damien and Rose trapped here? They can’t stay here forever!”

Then, the Ghastly appeared in the middle of the room. “You will stay here. You will stay and play with me FOREEEVERRRRR!”

He fired a purple ball of shadow at us. “Piplup! Counter it with Bubble!” Piplup opened his beak and a stream of bubbles collided with the Shadow Ball. The room filled with steam.

“Drifloon, Defog!” I swished my strings and a few blue streaks of light danced around the room and cleared the steam.

Ghastly floated over and licked Piplup.

“Drifloon! Silver Wind!” I fired. The wind blew Ghastly back to the middle of the room and Piplup tumbled back into a wall. Sudenly, I felt much stronger. What happened? Had the Silver Wind strengthened me?

Drifloon! Finish off Ghastly with a Shadow Ball!” I fired. The power of the attack surprised me. The ball of energy hit Ghastly and sent him flying backwards. He crashed into the machine and made a large hole in the screen.

“The television…” Damien whispered.

“Damien!” David said excitedly, looking at his watch. “There are only about ten minutes left until the Mean Look wears off! And with Ghastly fainted in the TV, you’ll be able to leave!”

Damien kept staring at the screen. “What’s wrong?” David asked.

“It’s just that…” He paused. “My late wife gave me that television years ago on our anniversary. She worked for a whole year to save up enough money to buy it. It stopped working a few days after she died. And now it’s completely broken.” He frowned.

David looked at the ‘television’. “Well, you’re about to be going to the ‘next world’, right? The TV won’t really matter to you, right?”

Damien sighed. “I know. I’m just sad because it was a special memory I had of my wife. But I’ll see her soon. I know it.”

We all looked at the television in silence. Suddenly, a flash of lightning and an explosion of thunder rocked the mansion. The lights dimmed and flickered, and a “POP!” was heard as a spark flew from the TV. Had lightning just hit the Chateau?

“Wow! That was loud!” a shaken David exclaimed. As he spoke, a quiet buzzing could be heard.

“What’s that?” David wondered aloud. The buzzing got louder. It sounded like it was coming from the TV. We turned towards it to see what was happening. Then, a spark flung from the hole in the screen of the television, followed by another.

We stared as the shower of sparks got bigger. The machine started to rock back and forth and the screen flickered blue. The lights in the room dimmed again.

“What’s happening to Mother’s television?!” Rose screamed. The TV started to bounce frantically around.

“The lightning…” Damien whispered. The TV shook and flashed as hundreds of sparks flew from it. Then it was still.

We waited for something to happen. “Is it over?” David wondered.

Then, it shuddered and the screen flashed. Suddenly, the whole machine exploded. Shards of glass, metal, plastic, and wood, along with sparks flew at us and we ducked. Once all the pieces had fallen, as the dust cleared, an eerie blue glow filled the room.

“Wha…” David stammered.

“R-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-o-o-o-o-t-t-t-t-t-o-o-o-o-m-m-m-m-m!”

~~~~~~~~~~

Ooh! A Cliffhanger! XP
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  #8  
Old 07-05-2008, 10:11 PM
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Alxprit Alxprit is offline
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Default Re: UNTITLED! (Need Suggestions)

Hmm? You added a Rotom to the mix...

That wasn't there before, right? If not, then I think it was nice to add.

There were plenty of spaces after opening Quotation marks throughout the story, too. Look through and fix them on your own time.
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Old 07-11-2008, 03:39 AM
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Drifloon Rocks Drifloon Rocks is offline
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Default Re: UNTITLED! (Need Suggestions)

Eep! My flash drive is acting up, and I can't find the rest of the chapter. I keep saving it from my laptop onto the drive, but it won't appear on this computer. I need to buy a new flash drive.

Anyway, how do I change the name of the story? I can't find how to do it anywhere!
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Old 07-11-2008, 05:00 PM
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OrangeAipom OrangeAipom is offline
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Default Re: UNTITLED! (Need Suggestions)

You have to edit the title of your first post.
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Old 07-11-2008, 05:03 PM
Dragon_night Dragon_night is offline
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Default Re: UNTITLED! (Need Suggestions)

Or just click the box near the thread title in the fan fic section. I think if you double click to the right of it, it should give you a box to change it.
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