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Old 11-03-2010, 01:04 AM
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Mewtwo Mewtwo is offline
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Default Shadows in the Night (My NaNoWriMo novel back-up, plus I want to see what people think of my rough draft)

Prologue: Fifty years ago

The young girl froze; yes, she heard something. Someone, something in the woods was spying on her. She did a quick 360; nothing visible to the human eye…

She crouched down on all fours, hair bursting from her body as her bones and muscles rearranged to form the body of a grey wolf. She sniffed the air, trying to catch the scent of her enemy.

Yes. There it was.

She started growling, a low rumble at first, progressively getting louder. The first shot rang through the forest, zipping through trees and narrowly missing her skull.

That way.

She lifted up her muzzle to the night sky, her deafening howl echoing through the forest. She heard the hunter’s footsteps as he ran. Karen was determined to not let him get away, however.

He’s a threat to the forest. She dashed after the hunter.

He killed my family. She was catching up; the wind was in her favor, she could follow the hunter’s scent easily.

He could kill off the entire forest, without a second thought. She put on a burst of speed, shortening the distance between her and the hunter. She could see him now, his camouflage clothes sticking out all too much, his footfalls louder than they should be.

He is a threat to the entire shape shifter community. She leapt, the distance shortening until it finally closed, and her teeth locked around his neck.

Her fangs dripping with blood, she lifted her muzzle to howl once more before melting into the night.


Chapter One

“What?!” Mark exclaimed.

I sighed. We just got back our Social Studies tests, and, yet again, Mark has failed. Epically.

“Hmmm, an eighty-six percent. Not bad. Not bad at all.” I heard Stevie say in that cunning voice of his. All of the girls in the room sighed, while the guys just politely ignored them. Stevie was the school’s heartthrob, but I wasn’t attracted to him; he was more like a brother to me.

“Hey, Karen!” Richie yelled across the room in that fake-seducing voice of his. He was the school’s player, but he knows he can’t get me, so he doesn’t even try anymore.

“Karen, what did you get?” I heard Suzie’s shy, barely-there voice whisper.

“Ninety-two.” I replied.

“I got a ninety-seven.” She whispered.

“Good job, Suzie!” I said.

I looked over at Melanie; she was just kind of sitting there, staring at nothing, like usual.

Let me explain something. My name is Karen Morgan, age thirteen. I attend Maxfield Middle School as an eighth grader. I have reddish-brown hair, and brown eyes, with flecks of darker brown surfacing whenever I zone out. And perhaps the most important detail?

I’m a shape shifter.

As in, I can turn into a wolf.

Not a werewolf, mind you, because all of my friends are shape shifters too. Mark can turn into a hawk, Stevie into a fox, Richie into a snake, Suzie into a bear, and Melanie into a bobcat. Yeah. We’re not the most normal group of kids. Normal kids do stuff like… hang out at Dairy Queen, or the library, or the park. Normal kids, to put it this way, don’t spend their free time in the forest. You could probably find out names in the dictionary, under the word abnormal.

Anyways, back on subject… school’s not going to well for Mark.

“Finally, lunch time!” Mark yelled, punching the air above his head, or at least trying, but accidentally hitting me in the chin. “OH MY GOD KARIE! I’M SO SORRY!” he yelled, immediately going into hyper-active oh-my-god-what-did-I-do mode. He put his hand under my chin, our eyes meeting in an awkward moment. He looked away, then pressed a little and said “Does this hurt?”

“OWW!” I yelled. He immediately pulled his hand away.

“OhmygodI’msosorryKarie-” he said in a long string of words before I cut him off.

“It’s fine, okay?” I said, starting for lunch, him walking alongside, silent for once.

“Hey, Karen.” My heart stopped. I looked for the source of the voice… sure enough, it’s Brenden, smiling at me.

“Hey, Brenden!” I squealed in that high-pitched tone that I don’t normally have, but… I can’t help it around him. He’s got raven-black hair, which fits because his name’s origin means raven-like. He’s got the prettiest blue eyes, too…

My thoughts were interrupted by Mark clearing his throat. I had been staring, and Mark was looking out for me by warning me.

“What happened here?” Brenden asked in that sweet tone of voice that made my heart melt.

“Oh, Mark was trying to do a huzzah fist punch, and smacked me instead…” I said. I’m pretty sure I was blushing.

“Oh, well then. See you later!” he said, doing his signature peace sign wave thing. By then my knees were like Jell-O.
Mark sighed. “Coming to lunch, or what?”

“Lunch…? Oh yeah, right! Coming!” I said.


By the time we got to the cafeteria, everyone else was already there.

“What took you so long?” I was surprised; Richie almost never sat with us.

“Brenden.” Was simply all that Mark said. Everyone else did an “Ooooohh.” type thing. I sat down and opened my lunch; today, it was a hamburger and fries, with a soda packed to drink.

“Hey, Karen, I’ll trade you lunches!” it was Stevie, who has a peanut-butter jelly.

“Nah, I think I’ll stick with mine.” I replied in the same mocking tone he used. We all had a good laugh.

“So, what’d Brenden have to say?” A chill went down my spine; Melanie means well, but the way her voice sounds kind of gives me the creeps, no offense.

“He just asked about this.” I pointed to my chin. Everyone did a double-take.

“Karen, what happened?” Suzie asked, louder than normal, but still pretty quiet.

“I happened.” Mark said. Everyone went “Ooooohh.” Again, and continued to eat their lunch.

“So. The social studies quiz. Who else did bad?” Richie asked. He got a fifty-one percent, but he’s proud of that score. Which kind of scares me a little bit.

“Me…” Mark said. We all had a laugh at that one.

“Suzie did well, I did well, and of course Melanie did well.” I said. Melanie always gets perfects, and if not perfect, then close to it. I guess she actually studies.

“All right, no more trash or trays, group one is dismissed.” The principal said, and we watched as the stream of kids went by. For a split second, I think Brenden was looking at me as he walked past my table.


RIIIIIIIINNNGG!
The final bell rung, sending kids from all grades running through the halls, trying to get to their lockers and out of this stupid school.

I’m ashamed to say that I’m one of them.

I mainly just want to get into the forest near my house. I know it’s supposed to be off-limits (with the exception of the hiking paths) but… I can’t help it. I need somewhere to let out the wolf in me.

I walk the five minutes to my house, and the group is already there. “How…?”

“We took the bus.” Stevie said. I nodded, and we all climbed over my fence and trekked into the forest.

Chapter Two

I went behind a tree and stripped so that my clothes wouldn’t be torn to shreds. As soon as I was done, I welcomed the warm feeling course through my veins, the warmer blood that is a wolf’s. I felt the fur poke its way through my skin, which isn’t too pleasant. The most unpleasant feeling of all, however, is when my bones and muscles rearrange themselves to form the anatonomy of a wolf. I let out a gasp of pain. You’d think after three years of this morphing crap, you’d get used to it. After I heard the remaining five gasps of pain, I emerged from the shadows.

“Ready, everyone?” To normal people (and other species of animals) that would have been a series of growls, yelps, and barks. My group, however, can understand each other, even through different species’ speak.
After everyone’s nod of approval, we slipped into the forest. I noticed all of the squirrels and other small prey were hiding, as usual, but the other predators welcomed us like always. They have come to respect us as the leaders of the forest, the odd group, etc.

“Karen.” I heard a gruff voice say.

“Hello, Conry.” I replied. Conry was the alpha male of a pack of wolves who lived in the forest. I noticed he had the alpha female, Faoiltiana, with him. They had such odd named, but then again, our names were odd to them. I looked a little closer at Faoiltiana… and gasped.

“You – what – she’s-”

“Yes, Karen. We are expecting puppies.” He said. I noticed his voice had a hint of proudness. “Why don’t you all come back to Hazar-shual? I’ve heard rumors of a beast killing animals left and right. We’ve recently lost a couple of our own to the monster…” His head drooped in grievance. “Gunnolf and Kweeuu were both lost.” I gasped. Gunnolf was the pack’s best fighter, save the alphas themselves, and was also the beta male. Kweeuu was little more than a pup, eight months old, and Gunnolf’s daughter.

“Looks like you need a new beta male.” I said. “Hey guys, do you want to go to Hazar-shual?” I asked. Hazar-shual was what they called the area where they made their dens. The pack themselves were called the Blood-red Stalkers, as they were the stealthiest pack in the forest.

“Sure, let’s go hang out with a bunch of wolves that could kill us at any time!” Richie said in that snarky tone of his.

“Oh, come on. I’ve known this pack for three years; they are very trustable. If you guys want to go on, I don’t care.” I said. Everyone else headed off, deeper into the forest. I sighed. “Sorry about them; they don’t trust very easily.”

“No offense taken.” I heard Faoiltiana’s soothing voice ring. “They probably think that we could kill them at any time. We probably could, too.” I wondered how she could tell what others were thinking so easily as I laughed (Well, more of a snorty thing, but close enough to a laugh) with her.

“Well then, Karen, the pack is waiting.” He said, and disappeared into the trees, and Faoiltiana and I followed him.


The trees slowly thinned out to reveal a small clearing, where the Hazar-shual was busy with the wolves who didn’t stay up at night.

“Karen!” I heard tiny voices squeal. I looked over and saw Ruelle and Vargynja bounding over. I chuckled at the sight. Ruelle was a young red she-wolf who was clumsy on her paws and kept tripping. Vargynja was a small ginger wolf, somewhat of a lighter color than Ruelle. Vargynja was very small for his age, and kept making Ruelle fall over him, which didn’t help her situation. Ruelle and Vargynja are also litter-mates, and you can definitely see the resemblance.

“Hey, Ruelle, Vargynja. What’s going on?” I asked, dodging Vargynja’s feeble swipe at my tail.

“It’s pretty boring for us.” Ruelle squeaked. “Chanteloup is always busy helping the pack.” I knew Chanteloup; she had the best voice of all of the pack, and her howls sent chills down my spine from the sheer beauty of the voice.

“As expected; the camp has a lot to do, seeing as you now have to replace the beta male.” I lowered my head out of respect. “Let’s just hope they actually pick someone Rontu gets along with!” I’ve had more than my share of laughs today, but I couldn’t help but laugh again. “Coming by someone Rontu likes is very rare. We were lucky to have Gunnolf in the first place. Do you know where they are mourning for him?”

“Over there, in the center of the clearing.” Vargynja pointed with his muzzle, and I saw wolves lying down, muzzles on Gunnolf. I walked over, and placed my own muzzle down.


After a few hours of sitting in the clearing, I got up, shook my fur, and stretched. The sun was setting; Mom was probably wondering where I was.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t stay longer and help, Conry, but I’m afraid my mother will worry about me if I’m out any longer.”

“Ah, I see. Would you like me to walk you to the edge of our territory? Technically, our territory ends where yours begins, over the barrier.” The barrier was, of course, the fence.

“Sure, that would be great.” I said, grateful for the offer. When the sun starts setting, the creatures of the night arise. I’ve only been in the forest after dark a few times, but that was all I needed to deem the forest night scary. Together, Conry and I set off for where I had dumped my clothes before morphing.
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Quote:
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The forum got herpes when I wasn't looking? >:/

I guess it was hooking up with Serebii again. Goddamn it.

Skiyomi of SerebiiForums for the Espeons.

Last edited by Mewtwo; 11-03-2010 at 01:43 AM.
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  #2  
Old 11-03-2010, 01:10 AM
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Superbird Superbird is offline
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Default Re: Shadows in the Night (My NaNoWriMo novel back-up, plus I want to see what people think of my rough draft)

Question: When the story is happening, it's in past-tense, and when you're describing it it's in present-tense. I'm sort of confused about that. Otherwise, I think it's quite good. I can't wait to see how future chapters elaborate on these abilities nd the characters' backstories.
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If I'm reffing your ASB battle, you can find my reffing scale in this document. Mostly it involves details on stat modifications and status conditions, as well as my interpretation of the damage formula, other clarifications regarding the specifics of certain attacks.
...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pokémon Showdown VGC
[02:22:35] +Superbird: ok seriously tho can I get some opinions on modern art
[02:22:42] +Superbird: its important
[02:23:18] @amr97: Modern art includes artistic works produced during the period extending roughly from the 1860s to the 1970s, and denotes the style and philosophy of the art produced during that era.
[02:23:20] @amr97: The term is usually associated with art in which the traditions of the past have been thrown aside in a spirit of experimentation.
[02:24:26] +Superbird: opinions, amr97, not definitions
[02:24:49] @amr97: oh
[02:24:52] @amr97: i don't get it
[02:24:56] @amr97: is my opinion
[02:25:04] +Superbird: oh ffs
[02:25:28] +Superbird: maybe i should give up and try a different room
[02:25:32] @amr97: probably tbh
[02:26:19] @SamVGC: i think this chatroom
[02:26:22] @SamVGC: is an art form
[02:26:26] @Dog-for-Dinner: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Opinions+on+Modern+Art
[02:26:47] +Superbird: dong-for-dinner that is not a thing to be goggled
[02:26:50] +Superbird: *dog
[02:26:51] +Superbird: *google
[02:27:02] @amr97: dong-for-dinner lmao
[02:27:07] @amr97: that had to be intentional
[02:27:18] +Superbird: 100% wasn't
[02:27:28] +Superbird: i'm so used to typing dingram's name that
[02:27:45] +Superbird: anything starting with the same first letter
[02:28:17] @Dog-for-Dinner: why is it not a thing to be googled
[02:28:23] @Dog-for-Dinner: google is the story of my high school
[02:28:33] +Superbird: you dont google opinions
[02:28:36] +Superbird: you google facts
[02:28:52] @Dog-for-Dinner: seems like a science student is trying to study humanities
[02:28:56] @Dog-for-Dinner: and is having a hard time
[02:29:00] +Superbird: ^
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  #3  
Old 11-03-2010, 01:11 AM
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Mewtwo Mewtwo is offline
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Default Re: Shadows in the Night (My NaNoWriMo novel back-up, plus I want to see what people think of my rough draft)

The prologue is present-tense, but in the past. I'll probably edit it so that it's also third-person, when I'm not obsessing about word count.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterfree View Post
The forum got herpes when I wasn't looking? >:/

I guess it was hooking up with Serebii again. Goddamn it.

Skiyomi of SerebiiForums for the Espeons.
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  #4  
Old 11-03-2010, 01:39 AM
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Mewtwo Mewtwo is offline
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Default Re: Shadows in the Night (My NaNoWriMo novel back-up, plus I want to see what people think of my rough draft)

Chapter Two is up, but that's all I'm writing for the night.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterfree View Post
The forum got herpes when I wasn't looking? >:/

I guess it was hooking up with Serebii again. Goddamn it.

Skiyomi of SerebiiForums for the Espeons.
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