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  #41  
Old 03-11-2009, 11:13 PM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flora and Ashes View Post
HOW IN GOD'S NAME CAN YOU CATCH A SKUNTANK WITHOUT EVEN DAMAGING IT?!? It's almost completely impossible, unless you have a Master Ball, which I doubt.
According to TCoD's capture calculator, a level 30 Skuntank being attempted with a Pokéball would have a rate of:

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8.091% chance per ball, approximately 13 balls needed on average
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  #42  
Old 03-11-2009, 11:23 PM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

Let me rephrase that:

HOW IN GOD'S NAME CAN YOU CATCH A SKUNTANK WITHOUT EVEN DAMAGING IT AND ONLY USING ONE POKEBALL?!?

There.
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  #43  
Old 03-11-2009, 11:48 PM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

(Uh... Team Rocket is never a rightful Trainer to me.)

Chapter Three

The next morning, Eric and Peggy got up. Pachirisu was on Peggy's shoulder, and the two avengers grabbed their weapons. Mewtwo told them "We need to get others to stop Team Rocket and get out revenge. I will get the other Legendary Pokemon to come here. Peggy, we will certainly need more Rangers. Eric, I heard your father was a Team Snagem Admin. Maybe Gonzap can lend a hand." Eric and Peggy nodded. Peggy then told Mewtwo "I might need that Dragonite to get to HQ." Eric then used his Tropius, which along with Rhyperior and Dusknoir, now shared an unbreakable bond with their new Trainer, to fly to the Snagem base in Orre.

At the Top Ranger HQ, Peggy was welcomed by Professor Hastings. She explained to him about the infamous Team Rocket, and what horrible crimes they commit. Hastings was shocked, and automatically told her "It might be difficult, but we'll send some Rangers over, as soon as we can, to Mewtwo's lair." Pachirisu was ecstatic for some reason. Peggy and Pachirisu thanked Professor Hastings, and went off on Dragonite.

Meanwhile, Eric had just gotten through the Snagem Base, which was like a maze since it still needed renovations. Gonzap was in his office, and recognized Eric's Snag Machines, and said "You must be Shane's son, aren't you? How's he doing, anyways?" Eric's face looked grim, and he explained "My entire village was destroyed by a filthy bunch of thugs called 'Team Rocket.' Only my girlfriend and I survived. We need some allies to take out those miserable Rockets." Gonzap then interrupted and said "We'll do it! Ever since Cipher disbanded for the second time, we've all needed something to do. So... why not? Team Rocket's going DOWN! Those pitiful shits will PAY for what they've done!", as he grabbed his 12-Gauge shotgun and Zweihander sword.

Eric thanked him and went back to Mewtwo's lair.

Mewtwo had called all of the Legendary Pokemon to its lair.

Exactly a week later, eight Rangers, Gonzap, and twelve other members of Team Snagem arrived. Barlow, an important Ranger from Almia, was also there, and greeted Gonzap. Barlow's Makuhita seemed to have evolved into a Hariyama after Team Dim Sun was defeated.

(The next chapter will be the finale)
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  #44  
Old 03-11-2009, 11:50 PM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celestial Blade View Post
(Uh... Team Rocket is never a rightful Trainer to me.)
D:

DDD:

I love Team Rocket. DDDDDD:
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  #45  
Old 03-12-2009, 12:19 AM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

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Originally Posted by Celestial Blade View Post
(Uh... Team Rocket is never a rightful Trainer to me.)
Same here. The point is, even if it WASN'T TR:
a) it's still their Pokemon
b) it's ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE to catch a Skuntank with one Pokeball, at full damage.
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  #46  
Old 03-12-2009, 12:30 AM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

It's a Snag Ball. Snag Balls can catch aaaanything without any honest work.

Note sarcasm.
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  #47  
Old 03-12-2009, 12:32 AM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

Now that I think about it I diiiiiiiiid once catch that Miltank on Colosseum without damaging it.

But that was with an Ultra Ball.
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  #48  
Old 03-12-2009, 10:41 AM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

Celestial Blade is Turbo, y/n?

Even so, if he is this unlikely to listen to your critiques/comments, then why waste the effort? There are MANY fanfiction writers in this forum who would listen and appreciate the nitpicking you're so generously giving Celestial Blade; why don't you try reviewing their work for a change, instead of assaulting Celestial Blade at every opportunity?

Note: I agree totally with the critiques that have been made about Celestial Blade's writing. Details and logic are severely lacking in the work posted so far. However, I think other other works of fanfiction posted here deserve a comment or two more so than this thread.
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  #49  
Old 03-12-2009, 07:08 PM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

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Originally Posted by Keta View Post
There are MANY fanfiction writers in this forum who would listen and appreciate the nitpicking you're so generously giving Celestial Blade; why don't you try reviewing their work for a change, instead of assaulting Celestial Blade at every opportunity?.
Because I simply am not very good at reviewing some of the better works on this forum. :/
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  #50  
Old 03-12-2009, 10:01 PM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celestial Blade View Post
(Uh... Team Rocket is never a rightful Trainer to me.)
(Ah, but it doesn't matter what you think about that, honestly. What does the Skuntank think?)
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  #51  
Old 03-12-2009, 10:03 PM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

(I'll make a sequel, and explain some unanswered questions, while still having a plot of its own)
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  #52  
Old 03-12-2009, 10:25 PM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

(But the story now will suck if you explain nothing and say it'll all be in the sequel.))
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  #53  
Old 03-13-2009, 12:34 AM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

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Originally Posted by Leafpool View Post
Because I simply am not very good at reviewing some of the better works on this forum. :/
That's a terrible excuse; you're assaulting Celestial Blade purely because you say he is one of the worse works on this forum? Although he doesn't seem to give a crap for what critiques you give him?

Critiques aren't everything; you can always PRAISE and ACKNOWLEDGE the good parts of others' work if you don't feel like giving a thorough C&C review o___o
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  #54  
Old 03-13-2009, 12:39 AM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

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Originally Posted by Keta View Post
That's a terrible excuse; you're assaulting Celestial Blade purely because you say he is one of the worse works on this forum? Although he doesn't seem to give a crap for what critiques you give him?
I'm trying to see if there's any possible way whatsoever I can get through to him and get him to improve. It seemed to be working for a little bit.

Quote:
Critiques aren't everything; you can always PRAISE and ACKNOWLEDGE the good parts of others' work if you don't feel like giving a thorough C&C review o___o
I know I'm not the only one that hates getting "I love your fanfic" reviews, am I?
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  #55  
Old 03-16-2009, 10:03 PM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

You just noticed?
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  #56  
Old 03-16-2009, 11:38 PM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

People have been bitching about Turbo's writing for years. Very little has changed. Why bother?


"I love your fanfic" reviews are irritatingly vague, yeah, but "I really liked [this bit]" reviews aren't much harder and people tend to go \o/ over them....
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  #57  
Old 03-17-2009, 11:12 PM
Celestial Blade Celestial Blade is offline
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

Yeah! Why bother? I'm that stubborn and oblivious.

EDIT: The final chapter will be up hopefully this week.
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  #58  
Old 03-19-2009, 10:50 PM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

Hmm... I'm going to try reviewing this, as I *might* understand this. "What if...?" That is the question of authors. So "what if..."

...the reader never read the first story? Then you write about the previous one a little near the beginning so they don't have to read the original just to understand. (In your case, it's "Feral Girl of Sinnoh".) But what if...

...the character kissed a possible "soul mate"? Then you write it like you were one of the people kissing. For example, "A sensation overtook Eric, and it was almost as if the world stopped just for him. He wasn't sure about the way Peggy felt, but at the moment their lips touched, their troubles seemed to disappear temporarily as if by magic." But what if...

...you asked the leader of a criminal organization for help? Then you write how they'd most likely react. After all, Gonzap wouldn't do something like that without a battle, even if your dad was a former admin of Team Snag'em.

...your girlfriend was kidnapped? For this, I am putting myself in that position, which is gross since I'm a girl. Let's see now...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eeveelution's Thoughts as if she were a guy whose girlfriend was kidnapped instead of being killed like everyone else in the village
I am ANGRY! I lost my parents to these guys, and they kidnapped her! The NERVE of those guys!! Why, I oughta-" [CENSORED FOR EXTREME VIOLENCE THAT WOULD GIVE HORROR MOVIE FANS AND SERIAL KILLERS NIGHTMARES] "I'm gonna save her, and avenge everyone they killed!"
...that was pretty much what you said, only that's how they would think. But how you write it is a completely different matter. But what if...

...you were Eric? That is the most important question. Writers must become one with their characters to succeed, as if they were one person, or at least have some weird mental disease that makes them believe they're two people.


This story's plot is good, though. All it needs is more detail and length. With your permission, perhaps I could rewrite a chapter and post it in this topic?

One thing that makes writers stand out from the rest, is that we can create a world that only we control. Even if the character is a "god", they are always below you. Every detail of their life is in your hands, which is why we strive to perfect them--characters are like our children, and like all parents, we want the world to see how amazing our child is.
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  #59  
Old 03-21-2009, 02:35 PM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

(thanks for the tip)
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  #60  
Old 03-31-2009, 11:59 AM
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Default Re: Eric Damon Chronicles: Part Two: "Giovanni's Downfall"

(the final chapter might be delayed)
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