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Old 10-01-2019, 04:42 PM
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Default Greenhorn Prometheus

So, uh. This is that secret project/Project Gene I kept mentioning on Discord and a few other places. And after several months of being cryptic I can finally tell you...


It's a crossover Halloween special. And a very silly one at that. I am probably doing one half of the crossover a supreme injustice but I tried I guess (and also removed some problematic bits you're welcome).


This was all already prewritten and is going to be posted in three parts around the beginning, middle, and end of October. Anyway, here we go:


Greenhorn Prometheus



(Art by Chibi Pika!)

Chapter 1: Origin


Thunder crackled across the Kanto sky in the dead of night. Was it the whim of Zapdos or some other Pokemon? It was not clear. Rain pattered down and the dark storm clouds rolled and tumbled.


In the massive estate the thunder and lightning were crackling over. Deep within its confines lay a coffin. Slowly, trembling hands opened the coffin to reveal a human corpse, clutching tightly to a box. They touched the corpse's hands, slowly pried them off, flinched when the corpse seemed to move, then grabbed the box and ran.


----------


At a university in Unova, behind a door labeled DEPARTMENT OF BIOLOGY, a man with red hair was lecturing a class, pointing to a chart of an Altaria's brain and nervous system with a scalpel.


"As you can see, the medulla oblongata connects to-"


"Professor Altamura?" said a student, standing up.


The man's eye twitched. "It's Alti-mira. And call me Silver."


"Is it true you're the son of crime boss and sponsor of mad science Giovanni Altamura?"


Silver sighed and sat down.


"Do not mention my father in this classroom."


"But sir, have you ever thought of using your father's forays into the sciences for goo-"


"My father was a lunatic, and whatever contribution he made to science was through unwitting pawns. I would never think of repurposing it in my life. Sit down or I'll deduct from your grade for disrupting the class."


Silver did not seem to notice or care he had stabbed himself in the leg with the scalpel.


The student opened his mouth, went through several motions including one suspiciously similar to the thinking emoji, then sighed, closed his mouth, and sat back down. During the debate Silver did not notice an old man with a box enter the room.


"Anyway!" said Silver. "I believe it is time for the demonstration!"


Another scientist entered the room and handed Silver a Premier ball. Silver opened the ball to reveal a Braixen.


"Full disclaimer," said Silver, "I have never worked with this Pokemon before and probably wouldn't attempt it on one of my own. I don't really care."


The students muttered nervously. The Braixen gave him a look.


"See, this is an instinctive response, controlled by genes."


He swung a hand toward the Braixen. The Braixen stopped him with a paw.


"This is a premeditated response, controlled by behavior."


He attempted to lightly punch the Braixen. The Braixen rolled his eyes and made Silver punch himself in the face.

"Ow... Anyway! These responses are controlled by specific parts of this Braixen's brain! So what if we suppressed those?"


He produced a headset, placing it carefully on the Braixen's head. The Braixen promptly froze up, but did not move.


"Now then..." said Silver.


He started tickling it. It still did not move.


"See? If you suppress certain parts of the brain or genome or certain other biological functions... everything changes!"


He removed the headset, only to be floored by a fiery blast from the Braixen. The Braixen jumped off the table and stormed off. Another scientist approached the floored Silver, who held up a Poke bill.


"Give his Trainer five hundred will you?"


The other scientist nodded and left. Silver stood up and looked around at the class, only now noticing the scalpel in his leg and sighing.


"Class is dismissed."


The class all sighed in relief and started leaving the room. The one exception was the old man, who approached Silver with the box. Silver looked at him curiously. "Hello, what is it?"


"It's Dr. Fuj- er, Ijuf, at your service."


"What service?"


"Well, I'm here to inform you... Well, first off, your great grandfather, Beaufort Altamura, has passed."


"Oh, I'm... Dreadfully sorry, he and I weren't exactly close but this is still-"


"And on that note... You've inherited the Altamura estate."


"...Oh. Oh no no no."


-------------------------


Silver was sitting in his room, staring at his phone. As much angst potential as there'd be, it'd be a lie to say he was alone - a Feraligatr was curled up at his feet, a Magnezone floated about, a bored Weavile flicked at the drawstrings. Silver looked around at all of them and sighed.


"Well, here goes nothing."


He went to one of his contacts and called them with Watchog Chat. A girl with light blue hair tied in pigtails that pointed upward answered, with a Typhlosion peering over her shoulder.


"Silver! Hey! Nice hearing from you!"


"I know, Kris, I know... I've been caught up in work for the university."


"I figured, don't worry. So what's up?"


"...Apparently I inherited the family estate."


Kris' eyes widened. Her Typhlosion growled with concern. "Wait... Your family?"


"Yes."


"...Remind me of the deal with them? I mostly know your father and assumed the rest was bad news."


Silver sighed. "First I should go over the one who just died. My great-grandfather, Beaufort Altamura. Founder of Team Rocket."


"So he's the one who started it all?"


"Yes. It started as a small smuggling ring before becoming something bigger and nastier. Eventually it was passed down to his daughter, Mary Louise Altamura... Otherwise known as Madame Boss."


"Never knew much about her..."


"She stayed quiet compared to my old man. Didn't like having her name on anything on anything that could be traced back to her, hence the codename. She had a husband but something happened and he was killed, but not before she could give birth to my dad. She did have a stint with some woman I don't know the identity of but after my dad took over Team Rocket... She left, and no one knows where she went."


He sighed.


"And after my father took over... You know the rest."


"So this family history's finally catching up to you, huh?" said Kris. Her Typhlosion frowned.


"Apparently."


"You want me to come over and help you deal with it? I'm busy with stuff but I can be at the estate when I get the chance."


Silver smiled.


"Thanks. I'd appreciate that a lot."


----------------


Silver gazed out the window of the airplane in Mistralton as the plane prepared to take off. Many thoughts stewed in his mind. What was the estate like after all these years? Would people remember him? What would they do if they remembered him? His fingers clenched tightly to the seat out of anxiety.


It was enough he didn't notice a tall man in a labcoat board the plane and sit down the way.


---------------


Silver stepped out from the airport into the fog. It was dark, late, and there weren't many others around. At least, not that he could see.


It was then he heard a noise. And breathing.


"Hello?"


"Dr. Altamura?"


Silver whipped around to see a tall blond man with a labcoat and glasses staring very intently at him.


"...Alti-mira."


"Well then!" said the man. "It's wonderful to meet you, I've heard so much about your work."


"And you are...?"


"Colress! Researcher of Pokemon power."


"Uh-huh. What are you doing here?"


"There's been reports of Mega Stones being found in the Kanto region! I need to investigate them straight away!"


He looked around.

"Problem is I don't know where to start... Also I don't have a place to stay."


Silver sighed.


"Here's the deal. Since you're a fellow scientist, you can stick with me until you find a place to stay. But don't make my time any harder."


Colress beamed, specifically in a fashion which did not give Silver much confidence his act of kindness was a good idea.


"Thank you! There's so much to discover here... Having your assistance will be beneficial, surely!"


Silver rolled his eyes, and not in an attempt to see the back of his skull. "Yes, yes..."


His gaze then diverted to the large blue... cowlick? Extending from the rest of Colress' hair.

"You know, I had a stint as a tailor... I could probably take care of that swirl for you."


"What swirl?"


There was a long, uncomfortable pause.


"...Never mind. Let's get going."


Silver set off, Colress trailing after.


------------


The two eventually got to a bus stop, waiting patiently in the fog for the bus to roll up. Eventually it did, and Silver and Colress stepped aboard.


There weren't many people on the bus at this hour, so the pair had no trouble finding seats. It was then, however, that Silver noticed a woman with dark hair and magenta clothing eyeing him oddly. He elected to ignore the woman at first, up until he heard a voice in his head.


~You.~


Silver jumped in his seat a bit, naturally earning him a few more looks from the other people on the bus. After a second he attempted to think back.


Who the hell are you?


~Not your concern right now. You know about something I'm looking for.~


And exactly what is that?


~The Altamura estate. Namely how to get in.~


Silver gulped. How'd you get that idea?


~I'm a psychic. I just know.~


Silver paused, took a deep breath. The auric spectrum was a well-documented phenomenon, there is no harm being caused to his brain by this woman poking at his though-


~If I wanted to fry your brain I'd have done it already.~


Silver turned white.


~Now. I want to accompany you to your estate.~


Why?!


~I need to check if the place still has anything nasty left over from the Rocket days. I don't intend to do any harm. At least if you don't get up to anything shifty.~


I intend nothing of the sort!

~Then we should be fine.~


...Fine. But as soon as you get what you want you're leaving with Colress.


~Fair enough. Though since you're helping I'll tell you my name. It's Sabrina.~


...Wait, you're the Sabrina? Saffron City gym leader?


~That's me.~


What have I gotten myself into?

~Hopefully not much. Hopefully.~


----------


The bus came to a stop at the end of a long, winding trail. Silver, Colress, and Sabrina got off and looked around as it sped off, as if in a hurry to get away from the place.


"Colress? Sabrina here is going to be accompanying us for now," said Silver.


"Oh? You're Sabrina? The Pokestars celebrity?" said Colress


~That's me.~ said Sabrina.


"Wonderful! Your unique perspective could help our research!"


"Don't get too cozy," said Silver. "You both are leaving as soon as I get situated and Sabrina checks out the place."


With that, they made their way up the trail, passing through dark trees with wild Pokemon making eerie noises within - for ambience, obviously. Eventually the trio cleared the trees and came across an impressive sight.


A castle reached upward into the dark sky, its spires seeming to touch the clouds. Faint light shone through the windows, but it seemed less inviting and more foreboding.


"This is... The estate," said Silver. "I remember it a little too well."


"It looks suitably ominous!" said Colress.


~I dig the aesthetic.~ said Sabrina.


"...Okay, neither of you get it, let's just go in."


Silver sighed and knocked on the door.


It slowly creaked open. As it opened wider, it revealed a visage that made Silver and Sabrina's eyes widen.


"...Agatha?"


~Agatha?~


Nearby several Mudsdale neighed in fear at the name.


"Hello, you three."


"Agatha," said Silver, wincing as the Mudsdale neighed in horror again, "how are you even ali- er, what are you doing here?"


"After your father was deposed as the head of Team Rocket, it was decided I would help take care of the estate in his stead, and so with that I resigned from the Elite 4 to pursue a nice little retirement. That is until you all showed up."


"Pleasure to meet you Agatha!" said Colress to further Mudsdale neighs. "It's an honor to meet someone so esteemed in this region!"


~Agatha,~ said Sabrina, being very careful not to broadcast her message to the Mudsdale, ~Are things... all right?~


"Splendid. There's no one here to bother me. Aside from old man Beaufort and he's... You know."


"Er, yes," said Silver. "Can we come in now?"


"Certainly, my dear," Agatha said.


Silver did not like the way she said "my dear", or the longing look in her eyes when she said "my dear", or that she had said "my dear" at all, but he headed in anyway, followed by Sabrina, then Colress. Right before the door closed, however, Colress poked his head out.


"Agatha!"


The Mudsdale neighed in fear as Colress snickered and closed the door.


---------------


Inside the estate, it was about as lavish as you'd expect a damn rich person's home to be. Fancy chandeliers, paintings all over the walls, and lit candles, among other things, decorated the entire place.


"Come now," said Agatha.


She led the three through the estate into a massive library.


"Amazing!" said Colress.


~What's in these books anyway?~ said Sabrina.


"History and literature from where my ancestors came from," said Silver. "Scientific treatises. Books on Ground-types."


"I've been taking good care of it while the family's been gone," said Agatha. "Follow me, please, Silver."


She started leading him up a winding staircase. They eventually got to a large, imposing door, which Agatha opened to reveal a room containing a bed and a second library, and large portraits of Beaufort, Madame Boss, and Giovanni.

"This was your great grandfather's room. It's yours now."


"I see..." said Silver.


He started inspecting the books.


"...Where's the private library?"


"Hmm?"


"These books, they're all the same sort you'd find downstairs, just a bit more esoteric. I know my father and grandparents had a bit more than these to hide."


"Those are the only two libraries I know, Dr. Allymeera."


"Alti-mira. And I think I need to go to bed."


"Would you like brandy?"


"Er, no."


"Warm Moomoomilk?"


"No thank you."


"Ovaltine?"


"...They still make that? Ack, I just want to go to bed."


"Very well. Goodnight."


Silver headed off to another corner of the room to unpack his pajamas, only to see Agatha kissing the Madame Boss portrait and telling it goodnight out of the corner of his eye.


He stood stock still until she left the room and then hurried to bed.


------------


Silver tossed and turned in his sleep, muttering to himself.


"No... I'm not like them... I can't... I'm a scientist, I don't believe in fate... no, I can't say it, I can't-"


He started singing. "Destiny! Destiny! No escaping that for me! Destin-"


A telepathic slap. Silver woke up. "Huh? What was that? How-"


Sabrina walked in the room. ~Next time, have less loud nightmares. I'm trying to sleep too.~


"Fine, fine."


~Also could you turn off your easy-listening muzak?~


"What muza-"


Then he heard it. Slow, soft, quiet, but unmistakably some kind of string instrument. Silver didn't really know his strung instruments, granted, but he could recognize one dammit.


"I'm not making that music."


Sabrina blinked, then looked around. ~Hmmm. It seems to be coming from behind this bookcase.~


"Behind it? That can't be right..."


He got up to look. Sure enough, the music came from behind the wall.


"Hmm."


He removed a book from the bookcase. Nothing. "Let me try closer to the noise..."


He started looking over the books on the other side of the bookshelf. "Hand me that candle so I can see, will you?"


Sabrina plucked an old-fashioned candle from the wall and suddenly the bookcase did a 180 rotation, trapping Silver on the other side.


"Ack! Put it back, put it back!"


~Hmm, I think I'll just leave you here,~ said Sabrina.


"This is serious!"


Sabrina pouted. ~Fine...~


She put the candle back. This time the bookshelf did a 360 spin, still trapping Silver on the other side.


"I'm going to have to block it with my body!" said Silver.


~Bad idea but OK.~ Sabrina removed the candle again, Silver trying to wedge his way through only to get stuck.


"Okay maybe just push it?" said Silver.


Sabrina sighed and sent out her Alakazam. ~Fix the bookshelf for the yakuza brat.~


~Most certainly,~ said her Alakazam, locking the bookshelf in a sideways position, Silver stumbling over to Sabrina's side as she gazed in.


~Yep. Hidden passageway.~


"And the music's coming from it..." said Silver. He paused. "We should probably go in."


~I definitely should. This has Rocket all over it.~


Sabrina recalled her Alakazam and the two descended down the passageway.


---------


There were Spinarak cobwebs and Rattata everywhere as they descended. Eventually they reached a door; Silver took the handle in his hand only for it to break. He sighed and pushed the door open; beyond he found strange bottles and tubes and a display of preserved human and Pokemon remains.


"Gross..." said Silver.


He looked down a row of preserved, labeled human heads. Three years dead, two years dead, six months dead, freshly dea-


"Hello!" yelled the freshly dead head, causing Silver and Sabrina to jump back and yell only to realize it was Colress.


"I want to be the very best, like no one ever was-" Colress sung.


"Colress! Enough fooling around!" said Silver. "How'd you get down here?"


Colress removed himself from the display to join the other two. "I came down through the dumbwaiter! I heard the most lovely music, and I headed after it so it could be a source of scientific inspiration! I'm just a hair away from finding it!" he said, pointing to his swirl.


"Wait I thought-" Silver started to say.


~So it wasn't you. Not that you seem to be the musician type.~


"...So someone else must be down here. And the only other door's that way."


"Looks dangerous..." said Colress. "You two go first, I'll do my scientific duties from the rear."


Silver groaned as the group headed onward, to another door. Silver opened it to nothing but darkness. "Are there any lights in here?"


"I see a switch, but it looks dangerous," said Colress.


Silver pulled the switch only to yell as sparks flew.


"Told you!" said Colress.


The switch, thankfully for Silver, did successfully turn the lights on. The group started out in awe at what they saw.


A massive laboratory lay out before them, with test tubes and beakers and strange cylinders and equipment all around. Silver's eyes widened as he recognized flash cloning technology among it all.


"It can't be..."


~The rumors were true after all,~ said Sabrina.


"Rumors?"


~The lab on Cinnabar wasn't the only lab Rocket had. They had this backup the whole time... and probably used it to test prototypes of the Mewtwo project.~


"Exactly," said Silver. "To think it was here this whole time..." He looked around. "It's pretty messy."


"Well, scientific environments need to be sterile but if you want to renovate the place maybe some flowers, throw pillows, Pokedolls..." said Colress.


"Wait," said Silver. The music's stopped, but there's a light behind that door..."


The group crept down and opened the door, only to find a room full of books and papers. Silver looked around to find a violin resting on the table. "Well the music must have been coming from this..."


~What even is this side room though?~ said Sabrina.


"Music room, I guess?" said Colress, inspecting the violin.


Silver inspected the books. "Wait... It can't be... It is! This is the private library!"


He started shuffling through the books and papers, until he came across one book in particular -


How We Did It, by Dr. Fuji and Giovanni Altamura


"...My father and his colleagues weren't ones for subtlety."


-------------


It was even later into the night. Sabrina and Colress were fast asleep, heads on the table, but Silver was engrossed in the book.


"These formulas and methods and hypothesis... They all seem like the ramblings of a madman to an outside observer but if you dissect them carefully they're almost genius..."


He gave a manic grin, a dangerous light in his eyes.


"I see how it all happened... And how it all failed. Yet I don't want to stop here..."


"...I want to do one better."


***
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  #2  
Old 10-15-2019, 06:05 PM
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Default Re: Greenhorn Prometheus

Part two! Since I wasn't initially super-clear about this before, this whole thing is a parody-of-a-parody/retelling of Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder's Young Frankenstein, which should give some context but isn't required viewing for this fic (indeed some of the jokes might land better if you don't). Weirdly AO3 has a Young Frankenstein tag but FFnet doesn't. Anyway...


Chapter 2: Construction


The next morning, Silver, Colress, and Sabrina were having a lovely breakfast like nothing had happened.


"Pass the pancakes, Sabrina?" said Silver.


Sabrina telepathically lifted over a platter of pancakes, Silver taking bites while looking at How We Did It.


"...We're going to need a lot of DNA," said Silver.


"How so?" said Colress.


"Some of our own, for starters, human DNA was a vital ingredient in the original Mewtwo project... Then we need Alakazam DNA, Lucario DNA, Mismagius DNA, all sorts of others... And last but certainly not least, Mew DNA."


~That's going to be a tall order...~ said Sabrina. ~Are you absolutely sure you can reverse engineer the Mewtwo project for good?~


"Positive. I know what made the first project fail. I know what to avoid."


"If I may chime in?" said Colress, "I have... Connections that can provide us with every bit of Pokemon DNA that isn't Mew's, as well as more modern flash cloning equipment.


"Really? Colress thank you!"


"Give me one moment..."


He pulled out a phone and dialed a number.


"Yes, hello? Colress here. I have a favor to ask..."


---------------


Silver heard a thud on the side of the estate.


He ran out to see an airship had parked out in front, with men in strange outfits swarming around.


"What in the name of Lugia is this?"


Colress approached. "Oh hey! These are my ex-Neo Plasma friends! They offered blood samples from their Pokemon and, ahem, acquired the necessary cloning equipment!"


"That's great but can they park the airship further from the estate?"


"Certainly! Hey guys, back it up!"


The airship started making beeping noises as it indeed started backing up.


Silver sighed.


------------


In the laboratory, the DNA samples had been lined up in front of a massive machine. Silver placed three samples with the others - one labeled "Silver", one labeled "Colress," and one labeled "Sabrina." The three sources of the samples looked upon the display.


"We just need the Mew DNA, right?" said Colress.


"Precisely," said Silver. "But I'm not sure how to get it..."


~I may have a lead.~ said Sabrina. ~Pewter Museum has some samples of Mew DNA in the back. Including that of one Mew of the Tree Of Beginning.~


"That would be perfect!" said Silver!


"I'll sneak in and get it!" said Colress. "They'll think I'm just there for normal research!"


"Excellent, Colress, thank y-"


Silver stopped and stared at Colress, specifically at his swirl. "Wasn't that twisting in the other direction before?"


"Huh?"


"...Never mind, just go get that Mew DNA."


----------------


It was dark, and stormy and a night. Colress had already made his way into the Pewter Museum and was headed for the back rooms.


He reached through a slot in the door to open it from the inside, and after being briefly startled by his own hand, entered.


There before him were vials of the DNA of various different Legendaries. Colress grinned as he made his way over to one vial in particular - Rotan Mew.


He reached out to take it, but a bolt of lightning hit very close to the museum at that instant, startling him and causing him to drop the sample, splattering it all over the floor. In a panic he looked around, spotting a sample labeled "Abnormal Mew DNA" - well it was still Mew DNA and he didn't see any more, so it'd have to do. He grabbed the sample and spirited it out of the museum.


----------


The samples were ready. The machine was ready. Silver and Sabrina stood before it, at the ready.


"Colress! Are the preparations complete?"


From atop the machine Colress gave a thumbs up.


"Get down from there then! You'll get electrocuted!"


"What?"


"I said get down from there you'll get-"


"I'm down, I'm down," said Colress, suddenly right next to Silver, "no need to shout."


Silver merely stared and shook his head.

~Well this is the last situation I thought I'd be in,~ said Sabrina.


"Well creating an ultimate lifeform to serve as a force of good is pretty new I say-" said Silver.


~Not that. Getting neck deep in former Rocket shit.~


"...Oh?"


~Rocket was always interested in my powers. Ever since the Black Fog incident. They offered me a job with them but I refused, and have been keeping my eye on them and their since.~


"Black Fog incident?"


~...Never mind. Let's just get this done.~


The group started making more preparations.


"Colress, release the safety valve!" said Silver. As Colress turned to do so Silver turned to Sabrina with an almost-like-his-father's grin.


"Can you believe it? A second Mewtwo! We'll have achieved this all ourselves!"


Sabrina simply raised an eyebrow as Silver turned to the machine. A manic look appeared in his eye.


"From that fateful day when stinking viscous slime first crawled from the seas and shouted to the cold stars... I am mon! Our greatest dread is our inferiority to the gods... But tonight! We shall hurl the gauntlet of science straight into the face of Arceus themselves!"


The machine activated, started glowing, whirring, churning.


"Tonight! We shall ascend into the heavens! We shall mock Groudon! We shall command Zekrom's thunder!"


On cue lightning cracked outside.


"And we shall penetrate the sacred domain of Xerneas himself!"


Something started forming inside the machine.


"Pull the first switch!"


Sabrina pulled it. The machine glowed brighter.


"Second switch!"


Colress pulled that one. Brighter.


"Third switch!"


"Not the third switch..." said Colress.


"Did I stutter?!" said Silver.


Colress and Sabrina pulled it. The machine gave off an ominous glow.


"Give my creation life!"


The thing inside the machine grew, sprouted limbs, a torso, a head. Eventually it stopped. The machine whirred to a pause. Silver pressed his face very close to the thing within.

"Speak to me... Speak to me..."


Nothing. Nothing but the cold, hard glass and the lifeless meat doll inside.


"...Nothing..."


~...Silver, I'm sorry-~


"No no, you're alright... If science teaches us anything, it's to accept our successes and failures with... quiet... dignity and... grace..."


There was a pause before Silver started angrily pounding on the glass, Sabrina and Colress trying to hold him back.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS YOU BASTARD SON OF A BITCH! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!"


After a bit he curled up on the floor somberly. "Worthless... you're all worthless..."


~That's a mood,~ said Sabrina.


"Quiet dignity and grace, huh?" said Colress.


---------------


At Viridian City Town Hall a crowd of people and Pokemon had gathered, two people standing in front.


"Now I assure you," said one to the crowd, "this one is different! He's only been back for what, a few days?"


Another man came to face the first two. "He's an Altamura! They're all alike!"


There were yells of assent from the crowd.


"It's in their blood, they can't help it! They say they're working for us... When what they really want is to rule the world!"


More yells.


"Enough!" said the first man."These are very serious charges you're making, in particular because we still have nightmares about the first three times! We haven't heard from the one man most qualified to judge this fairly."


There was a knock at the door.


"Oh! Inspector Looker! Come in!"


Looker entered the room. Notably, he had bags under his eyes, and was tightly clutching a box of tissues.


"Dreadfully sorry, came down with a cold..."


"A what now?"


"A-" he sneezed - "Cold."


"Oh, then go on."


"Well, see, a riot is an ugly thing... Once you get one started, there is little chance of stopping it, minus bloodshed. I think before we go around jailing people we had better-" he sneezed, causing the others to recoil "-make damn sure of our evidence. We need to confirm the fact that Altamura is following in his father's footsteps - I've met him and he doesn't seem like the type."


There was a chorus of "whats" from the crowd, Looker's clogged nasal passages rendered him so illegible. Looker sighed.


"He's probably not following in his father's footsteps."


There were several "ohs" from the crowd.

"I think what is in order is for me to pay a visit to him, have a nice chat, you know?"


There were disgruntled murmurs among the crowd. Looker sighed. This was going to be a long assignment.


----------------


Silver was slouched over the dining room table of the estate, muttering the word "reputation" to himself. Sabrina looked at him and sighed.


~You really shouldn't do this to yourself.~


"I should."


~Could you at least stop thinking about it? My powers keep picking up your angst and it's dragging me down.~


"No."


~At least touch your food.~


Silver leered at the plate of macaroni and cheese in front of him and started aggressively poking it. "There. Now I've touched it. Happy?"


Sabrina just scowled.


"You know, this reminds me of my mother," said Colress. "When these things would happen to her, she'd always know what to say..."


"Like what?" said Silver, a brief glimmer of hope returning to his eyes.


"'Oi, what the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night?! Why don't ya get out of there and give someone else a chance?!'"


Silver and Sabrina stared.


"What? My mother was Galaran."


"No, about the bathroom-" Silver started to say.


"That was the only place I could set up my chemistry set!"


Silver breathed a deep sigh of relief before he started slouching again.


~Don't do that again, unless you want me to beam my mental image straight to everyone else's brains,~ said Sabrina.


"Maybe it's better this way," said Silver, pointedly ignoring them. "The damn thing. Maybe it's better off dead."


----------------


In the deep dark of the basement the being's hand twitched. There was an unearthly moan.



------------

The moan was heard up above.


"Glad you guys like the mac and cheese at least," said Silver.


~Uh, no,~ said Sabrina, ~That was-~


"That sound. You made a sound like it was good. It should be obvious."


"Neither of us made a yummy sound." said Colress.


"But you did," said Silver, "I just heard it."


"Wasn't me!"


"Well if it wasn't either of you what was-"


There was another moan.


~...It's coming from the laboratory,~ said Sabrina.


There was a long pause before everyone jumped from the table and ran.


---------------


The three ran up to the machine, where the new Mewtwo, eyes wide open, was shifting around inside.


"Alive! It's alive!" said Silver.


~She's alive.~ said Sabrina.


"...You can tell?"


~Once you pinpoint the brain patterns behind gender it's pretty easy. And more accurate than... you know.~


"Aha! Stand back then..." said Silver.


He once again got uncomfortably close to the Mewtwo, who stared into his eyes oddly.


"Hello there girl. I'm going to set you free now..."


~Mmmmmmm,~ said the Mewtwo, her moans now more distinctly feminine.

"Is the sedative ready?" said Silver.


Colress held up a rather large syringe and gave a thumbs up.


Silver pressed a button on the machine. The fluid drained, the glass lowered, the tubes connected to the Mewtwo detached, and she wobbly floated out of the device that birthed her.


"Stand... On your feet," said Silver.


The Mewtwo touched down and looked around, then stumbled.


"Now... Walk... You can do it..."


The Mewtwo attempted to alternate between using her feet and hovering. Silver took her arms and attempted to help her along.


"Yes... Good.... Good..."


Suddenly, a spark came off the machinery, and a loose piece of paper caught fire. The Mewtwo's eyes widened and she let out a frenzied psychic moan, attempting to psychically throttle Silver.


"Ack! Quick, give her the-"


The throttling cut him off, resorting to him attempting to pantomime as the Mewtwo tugged him around like a marionette.


"Okay, charades!" said Colress.


Silver started pointing rapidly at the Mewtwo's side.


"Uh, tickling? No, that can't be it... Spinal cord?"


The jabbing continued.


"Oh! The sedative!"


Colress fortunately managed to plunge the syringe into the Mewtwo's backside, knocking her out cold within seconds. Silver gasped and panted upon being freed from the psychic grip, and Sabrina put out the fire.


~Are you okay?~ said Sabrina.


"Yes, yes, absolutely fine, but... Colress? May I speak to you for a moment?"


Colress scooched over to Silver.


"Now that Mew DNA you gave me... Was it that of the Mew Of The Tree Of Beginning?"


Colress shifted nervously. "No."


"Ah, good. And you mind telling me what DNA I did put in?"


"You won't be angry?"


"I will not be angry."


"...Abby-someone."


"Abby someone? Abby who?"


"Abby Normal. A bit of an esoteric Mew specimen apparently."


"Abby Normal."


"I'm almost sure that was the name," Colress said, sweating.


Silver gave a joyless smile and chuckle.


"Are you saying that I put abnormal Mew DNA into a six foot seven, two hundred and sixty nine pound... Demigod?!"


At that last word he stood up and started throttling Colress.


"Is that what you're telling me?!"


Colress started holding up fingers and mimiming two hands moving apart as he was throttled


~Okay, charades,~ said Sabrina. ~V? No, a valley, toss him off a cliff? Oh, wait, separate you two.~


Sabrina was about to separate the two when a loud knocking echoed through the estate. Silver paused and let go of Colress.


"...Who could that be at this hour?"


-------------------


Looker was continuously pounding at the door with what little energy he had.

He really wished he wasn't here right now.


---------------


Silver shook his head. "Sabrina, go see who it is. Colress, make sure the Mewtwo is contained!"


"Alright what are you doing?"


"I'm going to wash up," said Silver, a manic look in his eyes. "I've got to look normal. All of us, have to behave normally!"


He stormed off. Colress just nodded slowly.


----------


Silver and Looker were sitting together, playing New Super Mario Bros. co-op.


"So," said Looker, stomping on a Shroomish in-game, "how's it been since I last saw you?"


Silver paused. Not paused the game, just paused. "Remind me?"


"When you were a child. I was on the trail of your father, and I sought out you."


"Oh, yes, now I remember," said Silver. "It's... been good. I turned my life around, became a Pokemon professor, I have a stable life and income and all that, my Pokemon are faring well..." He sighed.


"That's good to hear!" said Looker. "I've been all over the world, chasing new assignments, coming up with different disguises..." He frowned. "Though, it's not all sunshine and rainbows; I lost my dear Croagunk partner."


"...Oh. Oh." said Silver. "I'm... sorry to hear that."


"I appreciate your sympathy," said Looker.


He thought a bit. "The people of Viridian are concerned about... you being here."


Silver kicked a Torkoal in-game. "Why?"


"They're concerned about the usual. Organized crime and genetic monstrosities,"


Silver scoffed. "Genetic monstrosities are passé, like ghost stories."


"Well see to them it's real," said Looker, sniffing and wiping his nose. "Especially with an Altamura in this house."


"So?"


"I'm not worried, but they're worried about... Things like genes and chromosomes and behavioral similarities. All probably bullshit of course but to them it's-"


Silver twitched. His character fell into a pit and floated back out as a bubble.


"They have nothing to worry about."


"Something upsetting you?"


"No, no, this whole thing is deeply... amusing."


"Very well! I'll go reassure them that you have no interest in the family business! If that's alright with you."


A telepathic voice echoed from the basement.


~Mmmmmm.~


"I'll take that as a yes!" said Looker.


"Mmmmmm," said Silver.


"Very well. Until we meet again," he sneezed, "Silver."


"Same to you."


Looker got up and left. Silver sat there for a moment before turning off the game and taking his own leave.


-------------


In the laboratory, the Mewtwo stirred and moaned in her prison. A figure approached, in awe at the sight of her.


"Oh... Mary, Mary we've done it!"


The figure stroked the glass.


"I'm going to set you free. Would you like that?"


~Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.~


The figure pressed the release button.

"They wanted to hurt you... but I'm going to help you!"


Suddenly Silver, Sabrina, and Colress entered the room. "Thank Lugia that's over with," Silver said. The three froze in shock upon seeing the figure.


"Agatha!" Silver said. More Mudsdale winnies.


"Don't come any closer," said Agatha.


"What are you even doing?" said Silver


"I'm going to set her free!" said Agatha.


~That's a really, really bad idea,~ said Sabrina.


"She'll kill you!" said Silver.


"Not this one!" said Agatha. "She's as gentle as a Mareep."


On cue the Mewtwo emerged from the chamber, an angry glow in her eyes.


"Stand back, she has unstable DNA!" said Silver.


"It's not unstable!" said Agatha. "It's good DNA!"


"It's unstable I tell you!"


The Mewtwo turned her head in Silver's direction, eyes glowing further.


"Ix-nay on the unstableway," said Colress.


"I am not afraid!" said Agatha. "I know what she likes!"


She pulled out a suspiciously familiar violin and started playing. The Mewtwo's eyes stopped glowing, and she adopted a happy expression as she started pawing the air in a cat-like fashion.


"That music..." said Silver.


"Yes!" said Agatha. "It's in your blood! It's in the blood of all Altamuras! It reaches the soul when words are useless! They used to play it to the Mewtwo your father and Fuji were making..."


"Then it was you all the time!" said Silver.


A chord. "Yes!"


"You played that music in the middle of the night!"


Another chord. "Yes!"


"To get us into the laboratory!"


And another. "Yes!"


"And it was you who left out my father and Fuji's book for me to find!"


"Yes!"


"So that I would-"


"YES!"


"And you and my grandmother were-"


"Yes, yes, say it! She was my girlfriend! She's almost as foxy as Oak!"


Sparks flew from an old machine. The Mewtwo panicked, and used a blast of psychic force to break out through multiple layers of ceiling into the cold, stormy night, the lightning only panicking her further.


"You'll never catch her now!" said Agatha. "She's free I tell you! Free!"


"Gone... Gone!" said Silver. "We've got to find her before she kills someone!"


He slumped to his knees.


"What have I done... Oh Lugia what have I done..."


***
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