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Old 05-17-2012, 12:17 AM
Lightning Bolt the Druid Lightning Bolt the Druid is offline
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Default The Hunger

The Hunger (Poem)

As the moon rose a briliant red.
The wolves howling for the blood of the inoccent.
These are the ones who had been banished.
This had been their life in the wild.
The trees now swung against the wind.
Now the moon rose higher.
The wolf pack ran throw the snow.
The cold of it crunched as they ran through.
The wild animals hid in fear from the mighty wolves.
They cowered with such fear.
As the wolf pack ran they smell came clear.
The meal they much sought was near.
The flesh and blood of the inoccent was there meal.
As the wolf pack drew near the inoccent people ran.
They hid in their houses and hid their lifestock.
But for the wolves this was their that they would not get.
For the inoccent had lived for another day.
And the wolves had left back for there home.
To hunt for the small animals that lived there.
But as the sun came up and the moon went down the people knew.
That they would be back again the next moon.
This is the end until another night their hunger would be greater.
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Old 05-17-2012, 01:16 AM
I liek Squirtles's Avatar
I liek Squirtles I liek Squirtles is offline
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Default Re: The Hunger

This is narrative poem, yes? I like the concept, a lot. Kudos to you on that. I also like the alliteration in the seventh verse. Before publishing it, I recommend you review it for any errors. You made a couple, like 'there' for 'their', innocent with 2 c's, and brilliant with 1 l. And you could divide it into 2 stanzas, as well. Also, I had a pretty hard time discerning the rhythm. All in all, a pretty good poem disregarding the errors.




Last edited by I liek Squirtles; 05-17-2012 at 02:03 AM.
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