Squornshellous Beta vs Pentimento

Squornshellous Beta (O)
[Bactrian] (F) <Oblivious>
Health: 150%
Energy: 100%
Status: Looking derpier than usual.

Pathos (O)
[Rachel] (X) <Natural cure>
Health: 150%
Energy: 100%
Status: Flailing about.

Round one

For a moment both Pokémon stagger about aimlessly, trying to get their bearings and hardly seeming to be aware of each other. As the rowdy crowd get ever more restless however, Rachel is seemingly spurred into some sort of action.
The Staryu waves her limbs about as her gem continues to flash erratically, then channels forth a torrent of water from her topmost limb. The stream of water gushes through the air with purpose, twisting and turning as it gradually takes the form of another Staryu. Rachel spins about in drunken cheerfulness as the faux Staryu takes shape, melding the creation in place with her psychic powers and adding some of her own life-force into it. When she’s finished, the watery apparition slowly floats in front of her protectively.
Rachel’s gem blinks rapidly as she surveys it. Yesss….her clone army will be ready soon! Or something.
She’s suddenly startled out of her muddled thoughts as the Numel opposite her finally decides to take action. With a garbled cry, Bactrian rushes toward the fake Rachel, and judging by her expression, she seems to take great offence to it. She thumps harshly against the substitute, knocking it backwards and causing it to splash against the tiles. The substitute easily manages to right itself however, and it simply flows back onto its pointed limbs.

Bactrian glares at the substitute with unfocused eyes before she appears to lose track of what she was angry about and starts staring aimlessly at the ceiling.
Rachel lurches forward awkwardly in Bactrian’s general direction, her gem still blinking on and off. She tries to focus her dizzying thoughts, and for some reason her mind abruptly becomes preoccupied with triangles. She irritably shakes herself, trying to push the thought away but… wait!
The Staryu stands bolt upright, overcome by a sudden stroke of sheer genius. She spins around on the spot; almost bumping into a few stray drunkards, then points her top three limbs at her opponent. A stream of electricity, fire and ice blasts out of the points and quickly becomes intertwined in one multi-coloured beam of power. The hissing and crackling blast barrels into the unsuspecting Numel, encasing her in a simultaneously hot and cold bundle of energy. Bactrian lurches about wildly, rolling about on the floor in a panic.
When she manages to get control of herself (as best as she can under the circumstances), she abruptly goes crazy again, and launches herself in a mad charge towards her opponent. Her course is very off kilter to say the least, and a few people are certainly going to go home with in an ambulance tonight, but she gradually manages to catch sight of that elusive starry thingy. Her body glows with a bright white light as she wildly careens towards her, but the glistening substitute quickly launches itself in her path.
Bactrian bashes into the sub with surprising force that’s enough to knock them both flying. The Numel lands harshly on her back while the substitute goes spinning backwards and onto the tiles. Bactrian groggily raises her head, shaking it a couple of times to try and clear it, but to little success. The watery doppelganger on the other hand, abruptly springs back to life, despite looking the worse for wear. Its lost a lot of mass: two of its limbs are only half formed and the rest of its body is dripping water onto the tiles.

Rachel slowly turns towards her substitute, surveying its poor shape with her faceless gaze. I think I’ll call you…. Uh, Drippy! Yes, glad I got that all sorted out.
She happily waves a limb at her creation before she lurches forward in a dizzying spin, much to the dismay of a few rabble rousers.
Bactrian looks blearily at the whirling Staryu approaching her, but quickly looks away again. That dizzy display would be bad enough when you’re sober…
The dizzying display in question jars her out her thoughts by abruptly banging into her, then quickly spinning away. Bactrian glares at the spinny thing as it moves away, vowing revenge against all things spinny and…. Dizzy.
She taps her stubby feet on the tiles and snorts, trying to draw power from her less than ideal surroundings. She blasts out the concentrated energy in a white beam of light, shooting down the substitute where it stands and destroying it in a splash of water. There is a moment of shocked silence as the drunken onlookers wonder if substitutes truly have a soul... eventually they decide that it doesn't and resume their chanting.

End of round one

Squornshellous Beta (O)
[Bactrian] (F) <Oblivious>
Health: 138%
Energy: 86%
Status: Dizzy but pleased.

Pathos (O)
[Rachel] (X) <Natural cure>
Health: 135%
Energy: 85%
Status: Seemingly sad about the death loss of her substitute.

Arena notes

The floor near Rachel is a bit wet from the destroyed sub.

Battle notes

- hello have this super late reffing because I completely forgot this was a metronome battle X( I guess you'll probably want to post "commands" even though you don't need to cause uh
- Rachel used Substitute (15% randomized), tri attack and rapid spin.
- Bactrian used rock smash, double edge and secret power.
- Squornshellous Beta posts first.​

Squornshellous Beta (O)
[Bactrian] (F) <Oblivious>
Health: 138%
Energy: 86%
Status: Dizzy but pleased.

Pathos (O)
[Rachel] (X) <Natural cure>
Health: 135%
Energy: 85%
Status: Seemingly sad about the death loss of her substitute.

Round two

Still mourning the loss of her substitute, Rachel is determined to seek revenge… kinda. She really would prefer a lie down to be honest. Nevertheless, the faceless Pokémon lurches forward aimlessly in a bid to get something done.
She points her topmost limb at her dazed foe and blasts a foaming stream of bubbles that splash Bactrian with surprising force. The Numel flails about wildly, her eyes bugging out comically as she’s struck with that hateful substance known as water. Disturbingly, she then begins to make gargling and hacking sounds, and gross looking purple liquid drips from her mouth. Rachel looks on in horror. Did she drown her somehow? Or something? Before she has a chance to think of a more coherent explanation, Bactrian angrily spits the mouthful of toxins at the horrified Staryu, hitting her right on her gem. Rachel makes a weird, startled noise, and flails about in a panic.

Rachel’s gems flashes urgently as the toxins work their way into her system, and her form droops a bit as she begins to feel sick. Despite the nasty setback, she’s determined not to mope around; she must take action for some reason! The Staryu’s disjointed train of thought leads her to conclude that an icy wind is the best course of action, and she sends the freezing gust swirling towards the already shivering Numel.
Although her inner fire softens the cold a bit, the icy wind is still… well, icy. Bactrian shivers violently as the coldness washes over her, chilling her to the bone.
When the breeze does fade, Bactrian is left wondering who the hell left that damn door open, and is strangely oblivious to the fact that Rachel was the source of the attack. She’s still going to attack her though. Bactrian faces Rachel with a determined grin that is somewhat ruined by the fact that she’s shivering violently and her grin is more like a lop-sided grimace. She again begins to draw power from her dank surroundings, and blasts a bright beam of light at the slowly spinning Staryu.
Rachel is knocked down flat by the beam, having already been teetering dangerously in the first place, and seems reluctant to get up again until the poking and prodding of the crowd becomes too annoying.

Having made it back to her feet things, Rachel decides that more coldness is the way to go. The drunken Staryu abruptly sends a freezing, icy beam cascading towards the disgruntled Bactrian, drawing an angry squeal of protest. The ice beam leaves Bactrian coated with an uncomfortable but thin coat of ice, not to mention colder than ever.
Shivering worse than ever, the Numel tries to struggle on, and she manages to shake off the last of the ice as she makes a drunken charge towards her spinny foe. Her progress is slow, but the impact she makes isn't hampered much by her lack of speed. Rachel is bowled over as Bactrian violently bashes into her, almost tripping over herself as she goes.
For a moment, both Pokemon are left sprawled on the tiles, before they slowly regain their balance, spurred on by the wild chants. Both appear somewhat disorientated and shell-shocked, though Bactrian seems to be the worse off.

Round two

Squornshellous Beta (O)
[Bactrian] (F) <Oblivious>
Health: 112%
Energy: 71%
Status: Cold and somewhat dispirited. -1 speed

Hyde (O)
[Rachel] (X) <Natural cure>
Health: 121%
Energy: 70%
Status: "....Stop banging into me like that!" Poisoned (Severe) 1% this round, 2% the next

arena notes

The floor near Rachel is a bit wet from the destroyed sub.

Battle notes

- Rachel used bubblebeam, icy wind and ice beam.
- Bactrian used toxic, secret power (yeah, again) and strength.
- Hyde posts first or something. :D​

Squornshellous Beta (O)
[Bactrian] (F) <Oblivious>
Health: 112%
Energy: 71%
Status: Cold and somewhat dispirited. -1 speed

Hyde (O)
[Rachel] (X) <Natural cure>
Health: 121%
Energy: 70%
Status: "....Stop banging into me like that!" Poisoned (Severe) 1% this round, 2% the next

Round three

The speedy Rachel is the first to come to her senses again (somewhat anyway), and unsteadily turns towards her shivering opponent with her top three limbs once again pointed towards her. A stream of fire, electricity and ice is blasted from each limb in bright blasts of light which quickly intertwine with each other into one single multi-coloured beam. The combined elements forcefully strike the shocked Numel, crackling and fizzling with energy.
Rachel stares over at Bactrian for a moment, watching her writhe and stagger about in the aftermath of the tri attack, before the Numel abruptly begins rampaging towards her. Rachel jumps back in surprise, unwittingly hitting a disgruntled bar patron in the process. Bactrian’s course is just as loopy as before, but she manages to find her target nonetheless, and her small body glows with a white aura as she forcefully charges into the star-shaped Pokémon. Both battlers are knocked flying, and land none too gracefully on the hard tiles.

Both Rachel and Bactrian are left lying dazed and hurt, prompting the crowd to once chant louder in an attempt to spur them back up. Bottles and other objects go flying as the crowd stamp their feet and scream drunken, incoherent chants, and Rachel’s gem begins to flicker feebly as the racket grows in volume.
Slowly but surely, Rachel makes it to her feet things, then gives herself a quick shake to try and get back in the game. Bactrian is also slowly making progress, still feeling somewhat chilly and overall pretty sore and dizzy, but still chugging along.
She looks up blearily, and a horrified squeak escapes her as she sees her opponent spit out a huge burst of water which surrounds her in a swirling wave. The Staryu then spins around a few times and launches herself at the dumbstruck Numel.
Bactrian utters a disgusted cry as she’s soaked by the cascade of water and sent flying into a random drunkard. Her body hisses and sizzles as it’s abruptly cooled down by the hated water and the now miserable looking Numel if left sprawled in the floor in a shivering, sad little heap.
The rowdy crowd isn’t happy about Bactrian sitting around and feeling sorry for herself however, and they immediately begin trying to spur her on to take revenge. Eventually, Bactrian decides to take their advice, and slowly makes it back up on her stubby legs, despite looking worse for wear. Her expression becomes determined (if slightly cross-eyed) as she again charges at Rachel and gives her a thump with her front legs. The teetering Rachel miraculously manages to keep her balance anyway, and Bactrian is left feeling a little embarrassed by her half-hearted attack.

As Bactrian slumps down again, Rachel begins to spin on the spot again, her gem blinking at a steadier pace. She then shoots out a barrage of star shaped projectiles from her blinking gems, created from pure energy.
Bactrian grunts in pain as each star strikes her, then staggers left and right, disorientated and in pain. She eventually manages to pick herself up again, just long to charge towards Rachel for a third time, attacking her in a flurry of tangled limbs.
Rachel is none too pleased by all this ridiculous rampaging about, and flails backwards, batting her limbs at Bactrian to fight her off.

End of round three

Squornshellous Beta (O)
[Bactrian] (F) <Oblivious>
Health: 75%
Energy: 55%
Status: "I'm in despair!" Drenched and unhappy. -1 speed

Hyde (O)
[Rachel] (X) <Natural cure>
Health: 98%
Energy: 54%
Status: "....STOP THAT I SAID" Poisoned (Severe) 2% this round, 3% the next

Battle notes

- Rachel used tri attack, waterfall and swift.
- Bactrian used double edge, rock smash and facade.
- Not proofread, I'll get to to that later.
- Squorn posts first.​

Squornshellous Beta (O)
[Bactrian] (F) <Oblivious>
Health: 75%
Energy: 55%
Status: "I'm in despair!" Drenched and unhappy. -1 speed

Hyde (O)
[Rachel] (X) <Natural cure>
Health: 98%
Energy: 54%
Status: "....STOP THAT I SAID" Poisoned (Severe) 2% this round, 3% the next

Round four

After backing away from Bactrian, Rachel takes a moment to reinforce her defenses. Her gem glows a light red as a translucent substance exudes from her limb and quickly coats her body, toughening her coarse skin slightly. With that done, she does a small victory spin, her gem blinking rapidly.
Meanwhile, the wet and sulky looking Bactrian forces herself to get moving by taking an unsteady step forward. Her body is still hissing slightly from the unexpected cool down, but she manages to rush forth and tackle Rachel down again, attacking in another flurry of kicks and thumps.
As she lets loose, she notices that the Staryu’s body is slightly more resistant to her brute force, and Rachel responds by fending her off angrily, her gem blinking in distress.

Shaking herself roughly to keep herself going, the drunken Rachel staggers away from the flailing Numel and points her topmost limb at her foe. A horrible, purple substance oozes from the limb, and Rachel sends the mess hurtling towards Bactrian. The Numel is just in the process of picking herself up when the sizzling venom lands on her back and burns into her skin with a nasty hiss. Bactrian yelps and jumps about in alarm, trying to shake off the poison, but it has already sunken into her bloodstream. Backtrian groans and stops her flailing as a feeling a nausea overtakes her, similar to how Rachel is feeling, but not quite as bad yet.
Grimacing, Bactrian slowly plods forward as she’s egged on by the impatient crowd. She stops for a moment however as a brilliant idea occurs to her… or maybe just a bout of insanity. She rears up onto her hind legs with a slurred sounding battle cry, and charges towards her opponent determinately, much to Rachel’s (righteous) fury. Bactrian shouts something garbled and incomprehensible before bringing her two front legs thumping onto the Staryu’s gem. Rachel is knocked down by the sudden strike, but springs back up quickly with an angry "HA!"

As the two Pokémon back away from each other, Rachel's gem begins to blink again, and she quickly sends another barrage of star shaped projectiles hurtling towards her foe. Bactrian jumps backwards with a small yelp as each energy star strikes her, almost jumping into a random bystander.
When the attack ceases, Bactrian looks up blearily, then shakes her head and drunkenly lurches forward.
If Rachel had a face, she'd definitely be glaring. Since she doesn't, the Staryu settles with her gem glaring a fiery red. Bactrian's stubby legs propel her forward, and she slams herself on Rachel with a full body slam. Rachel wriggles her limbs about in surprise as she struggles to hurl the Numel off her, and Bactrian takes that as her cue to back off. Rachel slowly pulls herself upright again, and even in her drunken state, she can feel fatigue starting to set in. Bactrian appears to be in the same boat, though with her constantly derpy expression, she hides it a lot better.

End of round four

Squornshellous Beta (O)
[Bactrian] (F) <Oblivious>
Health: 69%
Energy: 42%
Status: Slightly less despairing, but not feeling so great physically. Poisoned (Severe) 1% this round, 2% the next

Hyde (O)
[Rachel] (X) <Natural cure>
Health: 79%
Energy: 45%
Status: Also wearing down, but still determined. + 1 defense | Poisoned (Severe) 3% this round, 4% the next

Battle notes

- Rachel used harden, toxic and swift.
- Bactrian used facade, punchdrunk swing and body slam.
- I never thought we'd actually get one of those drunken battle effects since there's such a low chance of them happening. :o
- Bactrian's speed loss wore off. (not that it really matters but still)
- Derpy takes a swig.​

Squornshellous Beta (O)
[Bactrian] (F) <Oblivious>
Health: 69%
Energy: 42%
Status: Slightly less despairing, but not feeling so great physically. Poisoned (Severe) 1% this round, 2% the next

Derpy hooves (O)
[Rachel] (X) <Natural cure>
Health: 79%
Energy: 45%
Status: Also wearing down, but still determined. + 1 defense | Poisoned (Severe) 3% this round, 4% the next

Round five

Rachel slowly begins to spin on the spot; this time drawing upon her psychic abilities to attack. Her red gem begins to glow brightly as she tries to focus her muddled mind, and she eventually manages to send out crippling waves of psychic energy towards her foe. Bactrian gives a startled squeak as her body is suddenly wrecked with phantom pains from the invisible strike of psychic power. She writhes about helplessly, tripping up a few drunkards in the process, before Rachel gradually releases her mental hold, leaving the Numel twitching on the tiles.
After some slurred chants of encouragement, Bactrian shakily rises to her feet again, trying to regain some sense of balance. She shakes her head to try and clear it, but it only serves to make her even dizzier, so the dazed Numel forgoes all caution and staggers forward in a clumsy charge towards the teetering Staryu.
Rachel is too focused on a particularly interesting tile to notice Bactrian’s zig-zagging approach, and is only made aware when Bactrian bashes into once again and delivers a swift thumping with her stubby legs. Both battlers are sent tumbling backwards in a tangled heap by the un-coordinated attack, and the two drunken Pokémon are left twitching and muttering in confusion for a few moments.

The speedy Rachel is the first to get up again, despite looking even more unsteady than before, and she clumsily lurches away from her stupefied foe. Her confused thoughts are on something much more otherworldly…
Rachel's body begins to glow with a dazzling white light as she draws power from the cosmos, causing many onlookers to either grumble in annoyance or give an over dramatic scream.
The dazzling display of cosmic light doesn’t do much to impress Bactrian though; it just hurts her eyes and makes her head feel worse. She squints her eyes and slowly advances on the irritating glowy star, determined to dim that bulb. She shouts angrily at Rachel about being inconsiderate or something, but her words are hopelessly slurred and Rachel doesn’t pay her any attention;, much to her annoyance. Bactrian scowls and stomps forward, trying to hold her head up. Her attempt at looking confident is somewhat undermined by her wavering badly from side to side, but she advances proudly nevertheless, and delivers a swift and harsh thump to the nasty glowy star with her two front legs.
Rachel’s gem blinks once, perhaps as an expression of surprise, and the unearthly light around her diminishes as she faces the unruly Numel.

Although Bactrian's attack wasn't strong enough to knock her over, Rachel is left teetering worse than ever. As she wavers left and right, she points her topmost limb at Bactrian and unleashes another chilling blast of wind.
The disgruntled Bactrian immediately begins shivering as the chilling breeze blows against, causing her teeth to chatter. The shivering Numel forces herself to move and shake off the last slivers of ice, then blindly rams into her foe. She's unpleasantly surprised by the resistance Rachel puts up this time, and the Staryu again manages to remain upright (somehow).
As both drunken Pokémon stagger away from each other to regroup, they both look worse for wear. Rachel's top limb droops as she feels the effects of the worsening poison, while Bactrian teeters two and fro. Neither appear ready to give up though, and the onlookers cheer on with even more bravado.

End of round five

Squornshellous Beta (O)
[Bactrian] (F) <Oblivious>
Health: 55%
Energy: 30%
Status: Cold and looking even more confused than usual. - 1 speed | Poisoned (Severe) 2% this round, 3% the next

Derpy hooves (O)
[Rachel] (X) <Natural cure>
Health: 66%
Energy: 31%
Status: "I am one with the cosmos... or something." + 2 defense, + 1 special defense | Poisoned (Severe) 4% this round, 5% the next

Battle notes

- Bactrian used strength, Rock smash and tackle.
- Rachel used psychic, cosmic power and icy wind.
- I wish Bactrian would generate more variety!
- Sqourn posts first.​

Squornshellous Beta (O)
[Bactrian] (F) <Oblivious>
Health: 55%
Energy: 30%
Status: Cold and looking even more confused than usual. - 1 speed | Poisoned (Severe) 2% this round, 3% the next

Derpy hooves (O)
[Rachel] (X) <Natural cure>
Health: 66%
Energy: 31%
Status: "I am one with the cosmos... or something." + 2 defense, + 1 special defense | Poisoned (Severe) 4% this round, 5% the next

Round six

Rachel slowly begins to spin again, her gem flashing erratically, and she abruptly launches herself towards her foe. Bactrian looks up blearily as the spinning star barrels towards her and knocks the breath out of her.
The Numel gives an indignant squeak, but doesn’t appear overly hurt, and manages to keep her balance as Rachel spins away. She takes a wavering step towards Rachel, who is now slowly rotating, and then begins to concentrate on building up some intense fire power. It isn’t an easy task in her current drunken state, and as her body heats up, a stray blast of errant flame hits an unlucky onlooker more than once. (as if the poor ambulance staff weren’t overworked enough already)
Eventually, Bactrian’s body glows white hot and a streamer of flame blasts from the hump on her back. She stamps her feet against the tiles then triumphantly charges towards her seemingly oblivious opponent as raging fire pours from her body. Bactrian strikes the unsuspecting Staryu in an impressive display of blazing fire, drawing a strange, distressed cry from her. The white hot flames billow around Rachel, scorching her coarse skin and causing the majority of the crowd to scatter.

As the angry inferno dies off, an exhausted looking Bactrian slowly backs away from her foe. A harsh hiss of smoke smoulders from her hump as the Numel flops down on the tiles with a grimace.
Rachel is left lying on the scorched and blackened tiles, still seemingly shocked by the sudden heat. She is surprisingly quick to rise though, thanks to her body’s natural defences against fire. Her gem gives a couple of erratic blinks as she regains her bearings (as much as she can under the circumstances) before she suddenly spins towards her foe like a shuriken. Bactrian has the breath knocked out her once again, but she isn’t given an opportunity to recover this time, as Rachel follows up her initial attack with a series of swift pummeling. The Staryu delivers some impressive shots with her limbs as she vents out her anger over her current discomfort.
When the barrage ends, Bactrian is left looking even more dazed than usual, and teeters alarmingly. Eventually, she decides that flopping onto the tiles once again is the best course of action, and she does just that. Rachel sways on the spot, her gem glaring a bright angry red as she faces her still foe. This lack of action is making her nervous, especially since that zany Numel appears to be glowing with an eerie looking blue aura. Well, it looks like an eerie aura to Rachel anyway, some might describe it as calming. As the glow grows in intensity, Bactrian's expression seems to become more and more worried, while Rachel becomes more and more puzzled.
Eventually, the aura surrounding Bactrian begins to dim, and she utters a pained cry before simply toppling over, looking utterly drained. For a moment there is silence, then the remaining drunkards start hollering a slurred retention of "Don't stop me now".
The drunken singing seems to wake the confused Rachel up a bit, and the intoxicated Staryu suddenly twigs to the fact that her opponent is out for the count.

Squornshellous Beta (X)
[Bactrian] (F) <Oblivious>
Health: 150%
Energy: 0%
Status: Knocked out!

Derpy hooves (O)
[Rachel] (X) <Natural cure>
Health: 51%
Energy: 24%
Status: "WHAT." + 2 defense, + 1 special defense | Poisoned (Severe) 5% this round, 6% the next

The whole bar is suddenly filled with chaos as both equally drunk trainers try to recall their Pokémon (but only succeed in bashing in each other on the head with the Pokéball), the drunkards continue singing and staggering around aimlessly, the frustrated looking ambulance staff try and escort several burn victims to safety and the harassed looking ref tries not to get lost in the crowd.
All through the madness, Rachel stands tall. She isn't overly pleased about how she won, but whatever. She really feels like she should quote a meaningful line from a timeless masterpiece or something, but instead she just falls flat on her gem.

Battle notes

Rachel generated rapid spin and facade. Bactrian generated overheat and friggin' rest.

I apologize for the lame ass ending, I groaned when I saw rest pop up... It's been said before, but these drunken battles really need to start the battlers off with more energy than health. :P

Anyway, the win goes to Shai. He gets $8, Squornshellous Beta gets $3 and I get $5.
Rachel gets two experience points and Bactrian gets one.​