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In Progress The Legend of Zelda: The Hero's Power

Lightning Bolt the Druid

The Druid of Life
The Hero’s Power

The Introduction of characters

For this we will come to tell the legendary story of two heroes that will become legends through the journey that they are about to embark on. This is the story of Blitz a man who lived on Outset Island, of a time after the land of Hyrule was destroyed and flooded and then rediscovered by the Hero of Wind. And a simple person from the time of treasure and evil and land of when the people were not themselves but monsters and he is one who stood up against the odds and is fighting with a rebellion to bring down the evil demon king in him castle of black shadows his name was of a boy but as he went through the journey with the rebellion he became a man his name was Luke.

Chapter 1: Blitz

As the waves lapped the Shore of Outset Island Blitz could fell the waves and the breeze of the open sea. He heard his friend yell to him that his mom wanted him. He got up to walk off the beach feeling the wet sand between his toes. He cleaned off his deep yellow shirt and his light brown pants; he then hurried home to see his mom. He could hear the laughter of children playing on the other side of the beach by the dock. The wind blew through his deep black hair, and his tan skin. As he came to the small house but cozy on the inside. He went in opening the door with silence, as he went in even though it was silent his mom had heard him come in.

She walked out of the kitchen and said “Aw Blitz you home at last, I need you to go to Windfall Island and get some special herbs, spices, and meats for a soup that I am making for the whole island for the Festival of Wind to celebrate the hero that left here long ago and found the lost land.” Blitz then looked at her and said “Yes mom I will, but I maybe back in a few day depending on the weather.” As he smiled at her and she smiled at him and said “Well better get going.” He then walked out of the house to again feel the breeze of the sea blow through his hair.

He walked toward the beach watching the kids of Outset Island play in the shallow water and on the beach. He then came to his family’s boat that his dad had left behind when he mysteriously disappeared from the land of Hyrule and the vast ocean. It was a simple red boat with enough room for two people and food and a Sail to be able to get across the ocean. As he put up the sail he went in the direction of the Island, as he went the wind brushed his hair and the seagulls flew beside the ship as it jumped over the waves of the ocean. Blitz thought to himself “What is out there in a different time besides ours? What happened in the past that made ours?” but he did not have any answers to these questions.

He sailed on for a full day with no sleep till he came to the Island of Windfall. It was early and no one was out at the beginning of the morning at least no yet. Blitz looked at the sign that said where the inn was and he headed north toward the inn so he could get some sleep from the all night staying up to get to Windfall. It was not the same on Windfall as it was on Outset; it had more people and more building. Blitz then found the inn and gave the desk woman twenty rupees for the one night, Blitz then walked to his room at the inn and went to sleep.

As Blitz awoke he could feel the noon sun from inside the window of the room. He got up and rubbed his eyes, then looked around remembering his mom’s task. As he walked out of the room and gave the key to it to the woman and walked out closing the door gently behind him. He then headed to the market down the road, to buy the herbs, spices, and meats for the soup. But as he was walking down the road he could hear a buzzing. Blitz then stopped and asked several people if they heard and buzzing and they all said “No why do you ask?” and Blitz replied “No reason at all, but thanks?” as he smiled and walked away. He then walked toward the buzzing sound and it got louder as he got closer. He then saw a swirling Dark Blue vortex, as he got closer he felt it sucking him in. But as he fought to stay it pulled even harder, he then was sucked into it and the world he knew was gone into a dark blue vortex; he then blacked out as he went through.
 
Couple things of note:

1) If you're addressing the person you're spreaking to, such as "Hey, mom!" it needs to be distinguished by commas. i.e: "Hi, Bob, what are you up to?" rather than "Hey Bob what are you up to?" It makes it look cleaner and easier to read.

2) If one character speaks, and it is followed by another character speaking or a description of another character's action, it needs to be a new paragraph. As above, it makes it easier to read and to keep track of who's doing or saying what.

3) a couple of run-on sentences (mostly comma splices). If a clause works on its own, it either needs to be a separate sentence or connected by a conjunction.

Other than that, I'm kinda interested to see how the story turns out!
 
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