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Funny Moments at School V2

Forogt to mention this yesterday ^^;

Jeanine: *goes from being all like I'LL KILL YOUUUU to HI JESS!*
Me: How'd did you go from those emotions so fast? *and kinda scared because Jeanine was yelling at her earlier*
Jeanine: Bipolar.
Me: You're ruining my day! *runs away*
Later...
Me: Did you get that pun I made?
Jeanine: No, I-OH!

Made me very happy.
 
So, we're studying cell biology in science right now.

Me: Will we get to look at anything under a microscope?
Teacher: Yeah. We'll get to look at onion root cells and [long list goes here] and we'll get to look at human egg and sperm cells.
Me: Wha- where did you find those?
Teacher: I found them in the supply closet. I swear, someone in this class asks that every year.
Someone: How did they get there?
*giggling ensues*
Teacher: They're not fertilized! And they're frozen in a plastic casing. I don't quite know, but I would assume someone bought them.
Me: You can buy babies.
Teacher: I said they're not fertilized.
Me: You can buy baby ingredients.
Teacher: We will never get through the reproductive system in this class.
Jordan: What's the reproductive system?

And we once argued over the strongest muscle in the human body.

Girl: I can't remember if it's the eyes or the tongue...
Girl2: I still say it's the tongue.
Girl3: Me too.
Me: Well I say it's the jaw.
Someone: Why don't you Google it on the computers over there?
Me: Good idea. *Googles*
Me: *reads* Okay, so it's undetermined because of the factors, but the candidates are your eyes, tongue, jaw, thigh, and... uterus?

In band

*band finishes playing song as practice for a concert*
Zane: ...YEAH!

In LA

Me: What's Paradise Lost?
Teacher: I don't really know.
Me: It seems like a poem, 'cause it's quoted at the beginning of my book.
*teacher reads*
Me: I think it might be old, because I don't know how clouds can be pregnant.
Me: ...Cloud babies. *thinks about Up*
 
Every day in my 2nd period history

Learning about planes in World War I
Teacher (is German): Can anyone tell me what type of planes these are and who made them?
Me (also German): The Fokker Triplane made by the Germans
David: Because we all know those Germans were a bunch of Fokkers
After which, he was literally tossed out of class by the teacher

World War II Test
Student Teacher: *explains whats on the test*
Luca: Is the test really difficult?
Student Teacher: Its long and very hard
Tseng: That's what she said!
Everyone: LMAO

Also, this is kind of cruel, but there used to be an old substitute teacher that we would get a lot and he had been through the Vietnam War, so, when he would turn around and start the lesson, 90% of the class would drop their textbooks on the ground at once and cause him to jump back from the board and crouch under the desk since he still jumped at any loud noises due to his experiences in the war.
 
Today...

Me: *going to the bathroom to wash hands because my pen exploded and notices a sign that says "National Honor Society office"* Of course.

That is a long, complicated story that involves an awesome band XD
 
And we once argued over the strongest muscle in the human body.

Heart. Unless you can think of another muscle that works for 99.9% of your life. But yes, from striated muscles it is probably the jaw.
 
In Medical Room cause I had swine flu
School Douchebag: *Walks in* What's wrong with you?
Me: Uhh, got swine flu.
School Douchebag: You can't have that. Liar.
Me: Why can't Ii have it?
School Douchebag: Because it's not been on the news, that means it's not around anymore.
It took all my willpower not to burst out laughing. Every single drop of it.
 
*Jeanine pulls me out onto the gym floor*
Me: Hey, she told me to stay still, so-
Jess: Huh?
Me: You told me to stay still!
Jess: Yeah, for the three seconds that I was standing there!

Oops.
 
Posting due to pure awesomeness. Just yesterday, One of my classmates was reading a made up story he made. The teacher noticed that he/she wasn't reading the entire thing, but skimming through it, and said she would soon read the Uncensored version.
The entire class gasped.
 
Me: Aaah that song won't get out of my heaaaad...
Jeanine: *throws manga* read this.
Me; i doubt that'll help but okayyyy...
Jeanine: OH WAIT *gives synopsis*
Me: OHMYGOD THIS MANGA IS MY LIFE. IN MANGA FORM.
Jeanine: *realization dawns* OH MY GOD IT IS.

That song didn't get out of my head till play practice yesterday. Though that was wacky in itself...
 
once when the teacher left the classroom a few student went upfrount and started to spotanisly dace, more people joined in too.

but then the teacher came bace and there all got detencion D:

not really funny but..*shugs*
 
Funny moments on school trips count, right? Well, they do.

While I was in Russia, on the first day in St Petersburg, half our group got stuck in a metro station on Nevsky Prospekt, having gone in thinking it was a shop of some kind and unable to leave because it was one-way. Half of us went back out anyway, and the rest had to walk all round the station until they came out in some sort of shopping centre, and they then had to walk all the way around that to get out and find their way to the coach before we were late for Yusupov's Palace.

Also, my friend who I was sharing a room with made a habit of trying to sneak underneath my bed while I was trying to sleep. One night he went to the toilet, came back crawling silently along the floor, found the bed was far too low to fit under and popped up to find I'd swapped beds while he was in the bathroom.

And on the overnight train to Moscow, I got my Russian phrasebook out and jokingly asked one of the four in our carriage what on earth "anteefreez" could be Russian for. One of them seriously said "deodorant".
 
There are these two people in my class called Gary and Donna who ask the most stupid questions, we all laugh our backsides off at them;

In History, discussing the 1916 Rising;

Gary: Sir, do you think all the Africans should move to Russia by choice?
Mr. O' Driscoll: Excuse me?
Gary: The Africans. Do you think they should all move to Russia and melt the ice?
Mr. O' Driscoll: I don't understand the question. Do I think that the Africans should move to Russian and melt the ice?
Gary: By choice.

In Irish, discussing the Legend of Fionn MacCumhail and the Salmon of Knowledge;

Gary: Miss, would Fionn have died from using more than 10% of his brain?
Ms. Merrigan: ...what?
Gary: You know the way people only use 10% of their brains-
Ms. Merrigan: No, I don't know the way because people use all of their brains.
Gary: No, I read it on the Internet.
Ms. Merrigan: Gary, shut up.

In Maths, discussing how gamma-ray bursts could wipe out life on Earth;

Donna: So they could just, like, hit us?
Mr. Brennan: Yes, that's right.
Donna: But I don't want to die.
Mr. Brennan: ...

There's also my geography teacher, Mr. Morrissey who just takes the piss out of everyone in class.

*Nathan asks Mr. Morrissey what he was just talking about for the fifth time*
Mr. Morrissey: Nathan, I'm just going to ask you this once. Were you dropped on your head as a child?
Nathan: No, that's Gary, not me!
Mr. Morrissey: Actually, you're right, Gary was dropped on his head, you were dropped on your face.

*Mr. Morrissey is looking for suggestions for a geography trip*
Donna: Oh, let's go to Dublin Zoo, I went there once.
Mr. Morrissey: I'm just surprised they let you back out.
 
I was playing ERS (a card game in which the deck is divided evenly with each player, and whoever runs out of their cards first loses) with my friend Wes the other day. He started with two cards and I started with the rest of the deck... and he still won. It was the most fun I ever had losing at something, though.
 
Band class was funny today.

First, one of the snare players was texting and not paying attention to what was going on. Then the teacher started a song that has everyone playing in the beginning. The snare player jumped and almost dropped his phone.

Then:

Teacher: How do you know the tempo when the drums aren't playing?
*no response*
Teacher:There is someone very important in this room who keeps the tempo going.
Trumpet player: Brandon?
Teacher:*points to herself*
Trumpet player: Perpetual?
 
One of my friends gave Jeanine gummi worms. Not smart; she gets on an insane sugar rush. As a result:

Jeanine: *grabs my arm and starts swaying*
Me: *gets dragged along*
This goes on for a bit...
Tia: *recording on camera*
Me: *notices and points out to Jeanine*
Jeanine: *hides behind me*

Uh, yeah.
 
We had a substitute teacher in a class a while ago. When she wasn't looking, one of the kids took the seating chart thing that shows where all the kids sit, and added an extra desk in and wrote the name "Megan Fox" in it. Nobody knew he did this until she was checking who was there and who was absent and asked if anyone knew where Megan Fox was and whether or not she was sick. Maybe you had to be there but it was pretty hilarious at the time
 
We have a substitute teacher, who is famous (in the school) for bringing his guitar, and playing a couple of songs at the end of the block. One of his most famous songs that he plays is "Pollution", by Tom Lehrer. One day, in Spanish, we were about to start learning about environmental issues, and he popped in and sung the song. You'd have to be there, but it was amazing.
 
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