• Welcome to The Cave of Dragonflies forums, where the smallest bugs live alongside the strongest dragons.

    Guests are not able to post messages or even read certain areas of the forums. Now, that's boring, don't you think? Registration, on the other hand, is simple, completely free of charge, and does not require you to give out any personal information at all. As soon as you register, you can take part in some of the happy fun things at the forums such as posting messages, voting in polls, sending private messages to people and being told that this is where we drink tea and eat cod.

    Of course I'm not forcing you to do anything if you don't want to, but seriously, what have you got to lose? Five seconds of your life?

Omegle

Stranger: Heyy
Stranger: Asl?
You: :o
You: None of your Beeswax
Stranger: Ok then
You: @_@
Stranger: Merry christmas
You: Thnx
Stranger: o_O
You: Now! Go **** Bomb!
Stranger: What?
You: lol
Stranger: Wtf lol

Edit: I've got a good one.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: Asswipes
You: No.
Stranger: ?
You: What the hell?
Stranger: ?
Stranger: dunt understand
You: OH SHI-
Stranger: 0_o
You: *Gets blown up by a bomb*
Stranger: 0_o means what
You: Do you believe in Santa? I'd say, that if he was real, he would be a giat Fat ass that couldn't fit thro
You: typo
You: *giant*
Stranger: no
You: Now, I leave. *Bat man music plays as a use a smoke bomb*
You have disconnected
 
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Just bumping this up...

I met some /b/tard. Warning, becuase of that some parts can be pretty disturbing.
Stranger: hey
You: All your base are belong to me
Stranger: no
Stranger: i am in ur base killing ur guys
You: OSHI-
Stranger: wat do
Stranger: i have over 9000 soldiers so..
Stranger: gl
You: Niice. ^^
You: But I'll just do a barrel roll.
Stranger: ramirez stop him from doing a barrel roll
You: IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER! BLAAAAAHHH!
Stranger: my spiderman knows how to shot web
You: Take that, Ramirez or whatever your name was
You: But I can Falcon Punch.
Stranger: i have halo and eh doesnt afraid of anything
You: I have mudkipz, which are experts at invading websites.
Stranger: i have the power of anonymous
You: Oh, you're from /b/?
You: Not me.
Stranger: you aren't from /b/?
You: Nope
You: And before you say anything about it, rules 1 and 2 only apply to raids.
Stranger: no they don't
You: Because I'm aware of all internet traditions.
You: >:#
You: *>:3
Stranger: rules 1 and 2 apply at all times not just during raids
Stranger: get your facts straight
Stranger: newfag
You: NO U
Stranger: i have my facts straight
Stranger: i have been lurking /b/ for 2 weeks now
You: I used to lurk /b/, actually...
Stranger: what caused you to stop
You: Wasn't my thing.
You: But it could be fun sometimes...
You: Some anon thought I was some guy named Dave. xD
Stranger: i am lurking /b/ atm
You: cool story bro
Stranger: what sound does a baby make in a blender
You: No clue...
Stranger: i don't know either, i was to busy masturbating
You: ...
Stranger: ... wat
You: Yeah, you heard me, I said "...".
You: What are you gonna do about it?
Stranger: probably an hero on tinychat
Stranger: wanna watch
You: Nah
 
You: ☎
Stranger: Hey 19 m from new zealand. ur name and asl?
Stranger: ur nt go
You: God, infinity/m/Heaven
Stranger: god
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Okay what the fuck


Also,
QUICK
THERE'S BEEN AN EXPLOSION AT THE SQUID PICKLING PLANT IN SURINAM
WHAT DO YOU DO
WHAT DO YOU /DO/
Stranger: Run
You: NO
You: TOO LATe
Stranger: Eat
You: THE SQUID HAVE SWUM TO SAFETY, THE WORKERS ARE FLOATING IN JARS OF BRINE
You: AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
Last edited:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey''
You: Hello
Stranger: asl?
You: wut?
Stranger: age sex location
You: O dp npt know sign language
Stranger: lol its ok
You: how does that work the the web
You: Unless you have the cams
Stranger: llike dis 17 f usa
Stranger: you?
Stranger: f=feamale m=male
You: f usa?
You: RACIST BASTARD!
You have disconnected.

EDIT:

Mike I stole your idea!!!

Spoilered for language. Do not read if offended by profanity:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: SUp G
You: oh lord
You: asl
Stranger: lol
You: this is gonna suck
Stranger: 19 nyc undeicided
Stranger: you
You: undecided wtf?
Stranger: kik'
Stranger: lol
Stranger: asl?
You: how the hell does that work out
Stranger: m
You: God Infinity/M/Heaven
You: I am god
You: fear me mortal
You: DO you believe in me?
Stranger: if you're real, why don't you cure the amputee
You: because he is not saved
You: he is not in my ranks
Stranger: or heal terminal diseases
Stranger: lol
Stranger: noob
You: AGAIN
Stranger: BURN
Stranger: IN
Stranger: HEAVEN
You: I can only save those who truly believe
You: FUCK YOU
 
Last edited:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: please no horny bastard this tme -____-
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey =3
Stranger: hi there : )
You: not a horny bastard please? =3
Stranger: no.. not really, hate them :P
You: THANK GOD
You: asl? =]
Stranger: 18 M France
Stranger: you? :)
You: 15/f/US
You: =]
Stranger: no.. joking i'm 28 from Boston
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: bi guy. :)
You: awesome =]
You: gays && bis r epic win <3
Stranger: are u bi or gay?
You: bi girl =]
Stranger: nice
Stranger: where u?
You: america~
You: you ?
Stranger: america?
You: yea =3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


~~~~~~~~~~~


Apparently I fail at talking to strangers, and Americans are disliked D=

Aaaand as soon as I finished typing that, I had a successful conversation with some guy from Ohio. But then I don't like long conversations unless it's someone I personally know, who's important to me, so I eventually said my mom was calling and disconnected '^-^
 
Stranger: asl PLEASE
You: 800, none, Jupiter.
Stranger: i will bang u anyways come here sexy
You: No. I do not engage in intercourse with Earth scum.
Stranger: sluty peice of shit stop trying to have sex with me
You: I would rather die.
Stranger: omg im gunna call the cops if u dont stop
You: And how exactly are Earth peacemaker scum going to apprehend me?
Stranger: my dick is so big that it will catch u from here
You: That must be uncomfortable.
You: Do you get your trousers hand-tailored?
Stranger: ur mom does it 4 me
You: She doesn't have the time to hand-tailor such long trousers.
You: She also has no limbs, as she is a native of Jupiter.
Stranger: she does 4 me she is my BITCH just like u are
You: Hmm... I would prefer it if you didn't make any assumptions about me. I wouldn't touch you with a 3 foot-long tlakapod.
Stranger: ur mom did last night just suck my dick allready
You: I have no external mouth, so I would find that rather impossible.
Stranger: will make u an external mouth with my dick my hand isnt doin the job anymore
You: So basically, all you need is a hole. Why not go dig one in your nearest garden?
Stranger: but u r my garden bitch
You: I feel sorry for you.

Ah, that was so fun. XD And yeah, I took the '800, male, Jupiter' from someone else in this thread...

EDIT: I just had the nicest half-hour long chat with someone on Omegle. Which is really disorientating.
 
Last edited:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: miten kurkkukivun saa pois ?
You: i just talked to you
Stranger: ok
You: STALKER
You have disconnected.
 
You: Hello.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: if you wanna cypersex just fuck off pls
You: I do not.
Stranger: gd
Stranger: are u male?
You: Yes.
Stranger: nice
Stranger: im not gay so i go
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

okay what the actual fuck guy

Stranger: Are You a Na'vi?
You: HEY
You: LISTEN
Stranger: ...
You have disconnected.

You: lkjhgfdsa
Stranger: 24/f/USA looking for role playing
You: 18 m UK randomly dancing. ♪┏(・o・)┛♪┗ ( ・o・) ┓♪┏ ( ) ┛♪┗ (・o・ ) ┓♪┏(・o・)┛♪
Stranger: um ok
You: ♪┏(・o・)┛♪┗ ( ・o・) ┓♪┏ ( ) ┛♪┗ (・o・ ) ┓♪┏(・o・)┛♪
You: ♪┏(・o・)┛♪┗ ( ・o・) ┓♪┏ ( ) ┛♪┗ (・o・ ) ┓♪┏(・o・)┛♪
You: ♪┏(・o・)┛♪┗ ( ・o・) ┓♪┏ ( ) ┛♪┗ (・o・ ) ┓♪┏(・o・)┛♪
You have disconnected.

You: ♪┏(・o・)┛♪┗ ( ・o・) ┓♪┏ ( ) ┛♪┗ (・o・ ) ┓♪┏(・o・)┛♪
Stranger: A WILD ABRA APPEARS!
You: Go, SPINARAK!
Stranger: ABRA USED TELEPORT!
You: SPINARAK used SPIDER WEB first!
You: Ha.
Stranger: ABRA USED TELEPORT!
Stranger: BUT IT FAILED...
You: STRANGER used MASTER BALL!
Stranger: ABRA IS CAUGHT!
You: :>
Stranger: WOULD YOU LIKE TO GIVE ABRA A NICKNAME?
You: "boobs"
Stranger: boobs WAS SENT TO BILL'S PC.
You: :D
Stranger: WILD MEW APPEARS!
You: OH SHIT
You: STRANGER used MASTER BA-
You: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Stranger: MEW RAN AWAY!
You: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: poor planning there
You: STRANGER used DEPRESSION-FUELLED SUICIDE!
You: It's super effective!
Stranger: STRANGER FAINTED.
You: Now who will take care of my poor little boobs D:
Stranger: WHAT? boobs IS EVOLVING!
Stranger: boobs EVOLVED INTO HOMELESSPROSTITUTE!
You: :o
You: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
You: WHRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
You: What about penis, my poor little Metapod?
Stranger: PENIS USED HARDEN!
Stranger: BUT THERE IS NO PP
You: PENIS USED STRING SHOT
Stranger: BUT THERE IS NO PP
Stranger: PENIS USED STRUGGLE
Stranger: PENIS RECEIVES DAMAGE
You: Ouch.
Stranger: worst. trainer. ever.
You: I am :(
Stranger: sorry, broski, but maybe you should stay away from pokémon from now on
Stranger: I hear some Digimon are seaking a tamer.
You: Especially since I called a Metapod "penis" rather than a Grimer.
You: Which knows Harden, Pound AND Gunk Shot.
Stranger: Don't forget bout your Muk "Kum"
You: Oh of course.
Stranger: very irresponsible
You: Grimer learns Explosion and Helping Hand too.
Stranger: What would Prof Oak say?
You: Perfect penis Pokémon.
You: Also, Double Team, but all Pokémon know that.
You: The skanks.
Stranger: Double Team is frowned upon in serious league play
Stranger: for more reasons than one
You: But the Metapod is the classic penis. And I mudt not ruin tradition.
Stranger: Gotta stick with the missionary of nicknames.
You: Exactly.
You: Anyway, Abra guy, I'm afraid that's all the time we have. Twas fun talking to you.
You: STRANGER used TELEPORT!
You have disconnected.

(apparently copy and pasting things over and over prompts Omegle to start giving you captchas. That or they started doing it for everyone just for a one hour timespan I happened to catch. So um.)
Stranger: hey
You: My captcha was just "prostate structure".
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: Hello.
Stranger: ?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Oh come on. You must know "hello". Work with me, Stranger :<

Stranger: hey babe
Stranger: asl>?
You: 18 m UK.
Stranger: ok
You: You?
Stranger: 18/f/uk
You: Cool.
You: How are you?
Stranger: im good, how are you?
You: I'm good too :)
Stranger: good
Stranger: its good we are both god
Stranger: good*
You: It is.
You: Happy birthday!
Stranger: it's my birthday>?
You: Apparently so!
Stranger: since when?
You: Since midnight yesterday, silly.
Stranger: haha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hi?
Stranger: how are you?
You: fine...
Stranger: good
You: good
Stranger: yeah. so how old are you?
You: why do you want to know?
Stranger: i don't know just thought i'd ask
Stranger: just to chat
You: oh
Stranger: you don't want to tell?
Stranger: :D
You: fine then:
You: I am SYREN / I am AGELESS / I come from THE ISLAND / I am THE ISLAND / WHEN I CALL YOU WILL COME TO ME
Stranger: okay, sounds fine to me
You: COME TO ME *sings*
Stranger: i'll come as soon as i find you? :'D
Stranger: might take some time tho. :o
You: The Isles Of Syren! It's simple, just look for the CattRokk Light. It looks like a cat.
You: Then go past the light and...
You: My song will call you!
Stranger: ahhaaa. :o
Stranger: have to follow your voice then
You: Yup. *Sings some more*
You: Although, once you find me I can possess you
You: Gah, shouldn't have told you that.
Stranger: scary. :o
Stranger: now i guess i'm too scared to come to you
You: Yup. And when I possess you, you will have no sense of time passing. You will be immortal until you are DisPossessed.
You: Hey! Don't be afraid!
Stranger: so when would i be dispossessed?
You: Also, if while you are possessed you fall asleep outside of the Peepe, you will die.
You: Gah, shouldn't have told you that either.
Stranger: what is Peepe? :'D
You: DisPossession only occurs if I am killed. The Peepe, not Peepe, is my Dwelling Place.
You: Never read the Septimus Heap series?
Stranger: no sorry :D
You: More specifically, Syren. You should read it; it's a good series.
Stranger: okay, have to find more about it then
You: Yuss. Do that.Stranger: i'll do that
You: Yuss. Do that.
Stranger: yeah. so are you always this scary? =)
You: No. Not /this/ scary. Quite scary, but not this scary.
Stranger: i thought first that you didn't have it all together in your head.. :o sorry about that
Stranger: then you were talking about a book
Stranger: :D
Stranger: *series
You: ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT I AM INSANE? I AM NOT INSANE!
Stranger: no i'm not
Stranger: not anymore
Stranger: the wierder the better
You: ---Yeah, people's first impression of me is a raving lunatic. @@
Stranger: :D
You: @.@
Stranger: so why do you think people have that kind of impression of you?
You: Uhm. I don't know. Just a vibe that I give off, I guess.
Stranger: in real life or in omegle?
Stranger: :p
You: Real Life. Never visited this thing before.
Stranger: Goodbye.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: from?
You: hi
Stranger: from?
You: hi
Stranger: from?
You: hi
Stranger: u r funny
Stranger: but Stranger: ...You: hi
Stranger: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Stranger: enough?
You: hi
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey asl
Stranger: ??
You: I am SYREN / I am AGELESS / I come from THE ISLAND / I am THE ISLAND / WHEN I CALL YOU WILL COME TO ME
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: e
Stranger: male\
Stranger: u?
You: Genderless :P
Stranger: Male/ Female
You: /x
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: ttg ,/8iyug ,
You: b nhg6f,pp/.iop
Stranger: okkkkayyy
You: dsn7yrsgtjiul890u[p'l;#?
Stranger: frikmjhfdfgdfghrtyp9054
You: 986uy7t654re3 cvt65rgtrytr5y]']#
Stranger: yeaa um ffddfdvdfghjk;lbyeeefdgffdghnnjhhh
You: [#0-0[';80';9['80p9-p'0'9lio'/'[p#';loikjuhygfrdwgrhs7dutikyul'#;plp[po;
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ASL?
You: American sign language?
Stranger: Age, sex.
You: L?
Stranger: Location.
You: (For the record, I knew, it was meant to be a joke.)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Why do people always disconnect from me?
 
More of them.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Cottage cheese
Stranger: what?
You: Pot plant
Stranger: okay
Stranger: Lives in where?
You: Frying pan
You: Someday I'll leave and find myself in the fire
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: nice to meet you
You: youth of today, i don't know...
Stranger: oh, ok
Stranger: I understand
You: never respect their elders
You: are heard and seen
You: not like back in my day!
You: children then were polite!
You: didn't speak unless spoken to!
Stranger: oh,
Stranger: so waht can you do??
You: and we DIDN'T END A LINE WITH A COMMA!
You: what do you mean what do i do?
You: i'm ninety years old!
Stranger: ok, hi
You: i don't kknow, no respect for their elders...
You: and we didn't have internets that made a word repeat its initial letter!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: OMFG Stranger: ITS YOU
Stranger: IVE BEEN SEARCHING FORYOU FOREVER
You: daddy is that you?
Stranger: YES SON ITS ME
You: daddy! i've finally found you!
Stranger: OMG I CANT BELIVE I LEFT YOU IN THAT BASEMENTALL THEEM YEARS
You: why did you do that daddy? :(
Stranger: well you know how it is being a man called fritzl
Stranger: i cant help my needs
Stranger: but you do love the children i gave you dont you?
You: yes daddy they are so beautiful
Stranger: doe the fact they have three arms and 1 leg not bother yuou?
You: kind of but a parent can love any child!
You: except you and me...
Stranger: yeh but i didn ove you
Stranger: but i do now
Stranger: im achanged man
You: thankyou daddy!
Stranger: sex changed man
Stranger: thats what ive been meaning ot tell you
You: oh...Stranger: im now a woman
You: oh...You: so you are now mommy?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: bt you can call me fritlz the second
You: okay mommy
You: i mean fritlz the second
Stranger: eah thats right
You: yay! fritlz II, i'm so happy!
Stranger: so you should be
Stranger: so
You: fritlz II?
Stranger: what have you been doing with yourself since i released you?
Stranger: o yes deary>?
You: why are you walking backwards?
You: why are you going out of the door?
You: and closing the door?
You: and locking the door?
Stranger: IM THE SAME MAN I WAS TEN YEARS AGO
You: LET ME OUT FRITLZ II! LET ME OUT!
You: LET ME OUT!
Stranger: GET IN THE FUCKING BASEMENT YOU LITTLE HIT
Stranger: SHIT
You: LET ME OUT!
You: LET ME OUT!
You: I CAN'T GO BACK TO THAT BASEMENT!
You: DAAAADDDDYYYYYYY.......
Stranger: FUCK OFF
Stranger: AND SHUT UP
Stranger: YOU'LL WAKE THE NEIGHBORS
Stranger: NOW DARLING
Stranger: bend over ;)
You: No! No not again!
Stranger: oh yes
You: Nooooooo.......Stranger: more babies for you
You: Please... no....
You: no more agony....
You: please....
Stranger: beg all you want
Stranger: i think these babies with three arms are quite funny tbh
You: no... don't... please...You: no more babies...
Stranger: look, when your kids gow up, you wil want to have sex with them too
You: there's not enough food in that basement...
Stranger: every parent goes hrough that stage in life
You: no! i would never do that to my children!
Stranger: well youve already got 8 kids.. im sure having 7 wouldnt harm
You: let me out...You: leave me alone...
Stranger: never baby
Stranger: NEVER
Stranger: MUAHAAHAHAHAHA
You: or at least bring me food...
You: please...
Stranger: eat my cock
Stranger: that should fill you up
You: no! i need proper food! i'll die of starvation... please...
Stranger: just pull one of the extra limbs off so of your kids
Stranger: some*
Stranger: ill bring the microwave down if it makes things easier
You: no... they have four limbs... no extra limbs...
Stranger: dont be silly.. theyre inbreds
Stranger: your in denial of the extra limbs that your deformed childrem possess
You: three arms and one leg makes four...
Stranger: hahahahahahahahahhahaha lmao
You: you said it yourself before.
You have disconnected
Well, that was fun.
 
I had a great hour and a half long convo on Omegele with a funny guy.

Spoilered for constant Pedophiliac themes.

[spoilered]You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: pedobear?
Stranger: O,O
You: Yes timmy
You: It's me
You: YOUR FAVORITE TEDDY BEAR!!
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: So you're no pedo?
You: yes
You: I'm pedobear
You: the Pedophilac Teddy Bear
Stranger: will you rape me? D:
You: Sold by Tommy brands everywhere
You: maybe
Stranger: Oh my..
Stranger: well..
Stranger: depends on how old you are..
You: *Locks door*
Stranger: D:
You: No leaving
Stranger: No leaving?!
Stranger: But uhm..
Stranger: I need to be home by 11.
You: You parents won't mind
Stranger: They wont?
You: no
Stranger: Last time they got mad..
You: They know where you are
Stranger: and where is that..?
You: They told me where you were
You: You are in Pedobear's bed
Stranger: NOOOO!! D:
You: Pedobear LOVES children
Stranger: NONONO!!
Stranger: Dont touch me..
Stranger: =[
You: Come here timmy
Stranger: will you hurt me..?
You: Come give uncle Pedobear a big hug
Stranger: uhm..
Stranger: okay..
Stranger: *hugs pedobear nervously*
You: There now
You: was that so bad?
Stranger: noo. not at all actually.
Stranger: [:
You: I have lolipops!
Stranger: you do?|!
Stranger: I love lollipops!
Stranger: Are they the big kind?
You: REALLY BIG
Stranger: : D
You: Grape or Cherry?
Stranger: Cherry please. :3
You: Ok
You: COme over here
You: to the
You: table
Stranger: *goes to the table*
You: Now lay down on it
Stranger: Uhm..
Stranger: but I heard laying down with candy in your mouth is dangerous..
Stranger: I could choke on that sir
You: Fine sit in this chair
You: right here
You: next to my TV
Stranger: Ohh I love tvs n__n
Stranger: *sits in chair*
You: *gives loli*
Stranger: :3
Stranger: Thanks sir.
You: Take the plastic off first
Stranger: Okay..
You: You don't want to die
You: yet
Stranger: *takes plastic off.*
Stranger: Im going to die?
You: What?
Stranger: I dont want to die!!
You: nooooo
You: When did I say you would die
Stranger: Uhm..
Stranger: Never mind sir
Stranger: I must be..hearing things?
You: yes
You: Oh!
You: It must be the TV
You: Oh my
You: this is the Matrix
You: this is not for children
You: bye bye Matrix
You: Wavve bye to the Matrix Timmy
Stranger: *waves*
Stranger: byee Matrix
You: *Changes to show with pink unicorns and a bunny*
You: There go
Stranger: :3
You: the Fuzzy channel
Stranger: fuzzy?
Stranger: You know whats fuzzy?
You: Yeah
You: what
Stranger: Well..
Stranger: you mr pedobear
You: I know I am
Stranger: your chest
Stranger: its nice
You: you want to rub it?
Stranger: Yes please. :3
You: Ok
Stranger: *rubs chest*
Stranger: Does that feel nice pedobear?
You: Yes it does timmy.... yes it does
You: *scream in background*
Stranger: yay.!!
Stranger: OH?
You: What was that?
Stranger: D:
Stranger: Idk
Stranger: Im scared..
You: Here timmy
You: Here's a fuzzy toy bunny
You: cuddle him
You: feel safe
Stranger: *cuddles fuzzy toy bunny*
Stranger: Thank you
Stranger: Thanks alot pedobear
You: Your welcome timmy
You: now pet him while I go get some bunny food
Stranger: okii dokii
Stranger: :D
Stranger: *pets bunny*
Stranger: where'd you go..?
Stranger: O,O
You: I'm here
You: I'm getting a radio
Stranger: why a radio?
You: to play music
Stranger: ohh
You: Just got to find a CD
You: so brb
Stranger: okii
You: Come little children come with me
Safe and happy you will be
Away from you're homes now let us run
With Pedobear you'll have so much fun

Oh little children please don't cry
Pedobear wouldn't hurt a fly
Be free, be free, be free, to play
Come down in my cave with me to stay

Oh little children please don't squirm
Those ropes I know will hold you firm
Pedobear tells you this is true
But sadly Pedobear lied to you

Oh little children you musn't leave
Your families for you will grieve
Their minds will unravel at the seams
Allowing me to haunt their dreams

But surely all of you must know
That it is time for you to go
Oh little children you weren't clever
Now you shall stay with me forever.

You: Music
You: And it's ALL TRUE
Stranger: It is?
You: COME HERE TIMMY
Stranger: D:
You: *Ties Timmy down*
Stranger: WHAT?
Stranger: what are you doing to me?
You: Oh little Timmy you weren't clever
Now you shall stay with me forever.
Stranger: I dont want to stay with you forever..
Stranger: I want to go home now
You: *sings* Oh little Timmy you musn't leave
Your families for you will grieve
Their minds will unravel at the seams
Allowing me to haunt their dreams
Stranger: Youre not going to hurt me are you?
Stranger: =[
Stranger: please dont hurt me
You: *Takes back toy bunny*
Stranger: D:
Stranger: Nooo.. ='[
You: *Sets bunny on shelf and gives it food*
You: Bunnies must eat too
Stranger: what about me?
Stranger: Do I get food?
Stranger: im hungry sir..
You: You will get food
You: Tomorrow
Stranger: But Im hungry..
Stranger: It's night time now..
Stranger: and I missed out on lunch and dinner sir
You: And your parents must be awfully worried
Stranger: Yes, so please let me go home?!|
You: it's Midnight
You: You will live with Pedobear forever
Stranger: What will pedobear do to me?
Stranger: =[
Stranger: I thought he was my friend..
You: *echo*ever.......ever.......ever
Stranger: D':
Stranger: Nooo!!
You: Oh but I AM your friend
Stranger: No
Stranger: friends dont tie friends to chairs
Stranger: Let me GO!
You: They do if they are just 'playing'
Stranger: playing?
Stranger: what are we playing?
You: We're play....
You: um
You: uh
You: what your favorite game
Stranger: I like playing mommy & daddy
You: Ok
Stranger: but i want to go home
Stranger: I dont want to stay here
Stranger: ='[
You: YOU be the mommy
Stranger: ...
Stranger: If I play..
Stranger: can I go home after?
You: ok
You: when we are 'finished'
Stranger: Okay..
Stranger: I be mommy
You: And I'm the daddy
Stranger: okay
Stranger: now what?
You: uh
You: Here's soem.... milk
You: Mommies need milk
You: *gets glass of milk*
Stranger: yes, they do.
You: *unties one hand*
Stranger: thank you.
Stranger: *drinks milk*
Stranger: Yummy.
You: Mommies also need food
You: uh...
You: heres....
You: uh
You: *goes to fridge and looks*
You: uh
You: Here we go
You: *returns*
You: Heres some nice... Pizza
Stranger: pizza?
You: yes
Stranger: okii.
Stranger: *eats pizza quickly*
Stranger: I was really hungry
You: What else do Mommies need
Stranger: love
Stranger: everyone needs love
You: ok
You: *twisted smile*
You: I can do that
Stranger: you can?
You: Yes....
You: *evil laugh*
Stranger: o.o
Stranger: Oh...ok..
You: Well...
You: uh
You: here's
You: heart shaped chocolate
Stranger: :3
Stranger: yay
You: WAIT
DONT EAT IT
Stranger: D:
Stranger: Why not?!!
You: Wrong box
Stranger: Okii..
You: that one had bunnies food
Stranger: Im sorry
Stranger: =[
You: *gives right box*
Stranger: :D
Stranger: *eats chocolate*
Stranger: yummy
Stranger: they're really good.
Stranger: n___m
You: Yes they are
You: They're from Belguim
You: I don't know where that is is but they have good choclate
Stranger: I dont know where that is either sir
Stranger: will you take me there one day?
You: Sure
You: Lemme google it
You: Uh...
You: It says here
Stranger: Okii
You: 'Belguim is a country in Central Europe. It is World Famous for its Chocolate'
You: Where's Eruope
You: Oh wait
You: Here's a map
You: *click8
Stranger: Europe is accross the ocean sir
You: Wow
You: *looks at map*
You: That's far
Stranger: It is..
You: Can you swim?
Stranger: No sir
Stranger: Ill drown.
You: DO your parents own a boat?
Stranger: Yes, they do.
You: Can you drive the boat?
Stranger: noo
Stranger: Im only 10 sir..
Stranger: =[
You: Well Pedobear will have to learn
Stranger: yes
Stranger: i think so
You: *Google how to drive a boat*
You: Uh huh
You: Ok boatign is complicated
Stranger: HAHAA
Stranger: Zomg..
Stranger: You're really good at this..
Stranger: arent you?
You: Yes Iam
Stranger: Do this often?
You: No
Stranger: Hahaa
Stranger: Oh sorry.
Stranger: Now with all honesty..
Stranger: How old are you?
You: 17
Stranger: hahaa
Stranger: lovely
Stranger: as am I.
Stranger: Where you from?
You: New York, New York
You: You?
You: Sorries
You: I must leave
You: Goodbye and this was fun
You: We must do this again
You: Next time you come on just ask 'Is Pedobear back again?' Okies
You: ?
You have disconnected.
[/spoiler]
 
I had a great hour and a half long convo on Omegele with a funny guy.

Spoilered for constant Pedophiliac themes.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: pedobear?
Stranger: O,O
You: Yes timmy
You: It's me
You: YOUR FAVORITE TEDDY BEAR!!
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: So you're no pedo?
You: yes
You: I'm pedobear
You: the Pedophilac Teddy Bear
Stranger: will you rape me? D:
You: Sold by Tommy brands everywhere
You: maybe
Stranger: Oh my..
Stranger: well..
Stranger: depends on how old you are..
You: *Locks door*
Stranger: D:
You: No leaving
Stranger: No leaving?!
Stranger: But uhm..
Stranger: I need to be home by 11.
You: You parents won't mind
Stranger: They wont?
You: no
Stranger: Last time they got mad..
You: They know where you are
Stranger: and where is that..?
You: They told me where you were
You: You are in Pedobear's bed
Stranger: NOOOO!! D:
You: Pedobear LOVES children
Stranger: NONONO!!
Stranger: Dont touch me..
Stranger: =[
You: Come here timmy
Stranger: will you hurt me..?
You: Come give uncle Pedobear a big hug
Stranger: uhm..
Stranger: okay..
Stranger: *hugs pedobear nervously*
You: There now
You: was that so bad?
Stranger: noo. not at all actually.
Stranger: [:
You: I have lolipops!
Stranger: you do?|!
Stranger: I love lollipops!
Stranger: Are they the big kind?
You: REALLY BIG
Stranger: : D
You: Grape or Cherry?
Stranger: Cherry please. :3
You: Ok
You: COme over here
You: to the
You: table
Stranger: *goes to the table*
You: Now lay down on it
Stranger: Uhm..
Stranger: but I heard laying down with candy in your mouth is dangerous..
Stranger: I could choke on that sir
You: Fine sit in this chair
You: right here
You: next to my TV
Stranger: Ohh I love tvs n__n
Stranger: *sits in chair*
You: *gives loli*
Stranger: :3
Stranger: Thanks sir.
You: Take the plastic off first
Stranger: Okay..
You: You don't want to die
You: yet
Stranger: *takes plastic off.*
Stranger: Im going to die?
You: What?
Stranger: I dont want to die!!
You: nooooo
You: When did I say you would die
Stranger: Uhm..
Stranger: Never mind sir
Stranger: I must be..hearing things?
You: yes
You: Oh!
You: It must be the TV
You: Oh my
You: this is the Matrix
You: this is not for children
You: bye bye Matrix
You: Wavve bye to the Matrix Timmy
Stranger: *waves*
Stranger: byee Matrix
You: *Changes to show with pink unicorns and a bunny*
You: There go
Stranger: :3
You: the Fuzzy channel
Stranger: fuzzy?
Stranger: You know whats fuzzy?
You: Yeah
You: what
Stranger: Well..
Stranger: you mr pedobear
You: I know I am
Stranger: your chest
Stranger: its nice
You: you want to rub it?
Stranger: Yes please. :3
You: Ok
Stranger: *rubs chest*
Stranger: Does that feel nice pedobear?
You: Yes it does timmy.... yes it does
You: *scream in background*
Stranger: yay.!!
Stranger: OH?
You: What was that?
Stranger: D:
Stranger: Idk
Stranger: Im scared..
You: Here timmy
You: Here's a fuzzy toy bunny
You: cuddle him
You: feel safe
Stranger: *cuddles fuzzy toy bunny*
Stranger: Thank you
Stranger: Thanks alot pedobear
You: Your welcome timmy
You: now pet him while I go get some bunny food
Stranger: okii dokii
Stranger: :D
Stranger: *pets bunny*
Stranger: where'd you go..?
Stranger: O,O
You: I'm here
You: I'm getting a radio
Stranger: why a radio?
You: to play music
Stranger: ohh
You: Just got to find a CD
You: so brb
Stranger: okii
You: Come little children come with me
Safe and happy you will be
Away from you're homes now let us run
With Pedobear you'll have so much fun

Oh little children please don't cry
Pedobear wouldn't hurt a fly
Be free, be free, be free, to play
Come down in my cave with me to stay

Oh little children please don't squirm
Those ropes I know will hold you firm
Pedobear tells you this is true
But sadly Pedobear lied to you

Oh little children you musn't leave
Your families for you will grieve
Their minds will unravel at the seams
Allowing me to haunt their dreams

But surely all of you must know
That it is time for you to go
Oh little children you weren't clever
Now you shall stay with me forever.

You: Music
You: And it's ALL TRUE
Stranger: It is?
You: COME HERE TIMMY
Stranger: D:
You: *Ties Timmy down*
Stranger: WHAT?
Stranger: what are you doing to me?
You: Oh little Timmy you weren't clever
Now you shall stay with me forever.
Stranger: I dont want to stay with you forever..
Stranger: I want to go home now
You: *sings* Oh little Timmy you musn't leave
Your families for you will grieve
Their minds will unravel at the seams
Allowing me to haunt their dreams
Stranger: Youre not going to hurt me are you?
Stranger: =[
Stranger: please dont hurt me
You: *Takes back toy bunny*
Stranger: D:
Stranger: Nooo.. ='[
You: *Sets bunny on shelf and gives it food*
You: Bunnies must eat too
Stranger: what about me?
Stranger: Do I get food?
Stranger: im hungry sir..
You: You will get food
You: Tomorrow
Stranger: But Im hungry..
Stranger: It's night time now..
Stranger: and I missed out on lunch and dinner sir
You: And your parents must be awfully worried
Stranger: Yes, so please let me go home?!|
You: it's Midnight
You: You will live with Pedobear forever
Stranger: What will pedobear do to me?
Stranger: =[
Stranger: I thought he was my friend..
You: *echo*ever.......ever.......ever
Stranger: D':
Stranger: Nooo!!
You: Oh but I AM your friend
Stranger: No
Stranger: friends dont tie friends to chairs
Stranger: Let me GO!
You: They do if they are just 'playing'
Stranger: playing?
Stranger: what are we playing?
You: We're play....
You: um
You: uh
You: what your favorite game
Stranger: I like playing mommy & daddy
You: Ok
Stranger: but i want to go home
Stranger: I dont want to stay here
Stranger: ='[
You: YOU be the mommy
Stranger: ...
Stranger: If I play..
Stranger: can I go home after?
You: ok
You: when we are 'finished'
Stranger: Okay..
Stranger: I be mommy
You: And I'm the daddy
Stranger: okay
Stranger: now what?
You: uh
You: Here's soem.... milk
You: Mommies need milk
You: *gets glass of milk*
Stranger: yes, they do.
You: *unties one hand*
Stranger: thank you.
Stranger: *drinks milk*
Stranger: Yummy.
You: Mommies also need food
You: uh...
You: heres....
You: uh
You: *goes to fridge and looks*
You: uh
You: Here we go
You: *returns*
You: Heres some nice... Pizza
Stranger: pizza?
You: yes
Stranger: okii.
Stranger: *eats pizza quickly*
Stranger: I was really hungry
You: What else do Mommies need
Stranger: love
Stranger: everyone needs love
You: ok
You: *twisted smile*
You: I can do that
Stranger: you can?
You: Yes....
You: *evil laugh*
Stranger: o.o
Stranger: Oh...ok..
You: Well...
You: uh
You: here's
You: heart shaped chocolate
Stranger: :3
Stranger: yay
You: WAIT
DONT EAT IT
Stranger: D:
Stranger: Why not?!!
You: Wrong box
Stranger: Okii..
You: that one had bunnies food
Stranger: Im sorry
Stranger: =[
You: *gives right box*
Stranger: :D
Stranger: *eats chocolate*
Stranger: yummy
Stranger: they're really good.
Stranger: n___m
You: Yes they are
You: They're from Belguim
You: I don't know where that is is but they have good choclate
Stranger: I dont know where that is either sir
Stranger: will you take me there one day?
You: Sure
You: Lemme google it
You: Uh...
You: It says here
Stranger: Okii
You: 'Belguim is a country in Central Europe. It is World Famous for its Chocolate'
You: Where's Eruope
You: Oh wait
You: Here's a map
You: *click8
Stranger: Europe is accross the ocean sir
You: Wow
You: *looks at map*
You: That's far
Stranger: It is..
You: Can you swim?
Stranger: No sir
Stranger: Ill drown.
You: DO your parents own a boat?
Stranger: Yes, they do.
You: Can you drive the boat?
Stranger: noo
Stranger: Im only 10 sir..
Stranger: =[
You: Well Pedobear will have to learn
Stranger: yes
Stranger: i think so
You: *Google how to drive a boat*
You: Uh huh
You: Ok boatign is complicated
Stranger: HAHAA
Stranger: Zomg..
Stranger: You're really good at this..
Stranger: arent you?
You: Yes Iam
Stranger: Do this often?
You: No
Stranger: Hahaa
Stranger: Oh sorry.
Stranger: Now with all honesty..
Stranger: How old are you?
You: 17
Stranger: hahaa
Stranger: lovely
Stranger: as am I.
Stranger: Where you from?
You: New York, New York
You: You?
You: Sorries
You: I must leave
You: Goodbye and this was fun
You: We must do this again
You: Next time you come on just ask 'Is Pedobear back again?' Okies
You: ?
You have disconnected.

The song/poem whatever you want to call it, is from Smogon. The subject was that Hypno was a Rapist.
Original lyrics are:
Come little children come with me
Safe and happy you will be
Away from you're homes now let us run
With Hypno you'll have so much fun

Oh little children please don't cry
Hypno wouldn't hurt a fly
Be free, be free, be free, to play
Come down in my cave with me to stay

Oh little children please don't squirm
Those ropes I know will hold you firm
Hypno tells you this is true
But sadly Hypno lied to you

Oh little children you musn't leave
Your families for you will grieve
Their minds will unravel at the seams
Allowing me to haunt their dreams

But surely all of you must know
That it is time for you to go
Oh little children you weren't clever
Now you shall stay with me forever.

When I read the poem it goes to the lullaby tune of Hush Little Baby.
 
Last edited:
Stranger: hi i am 19 m looking for girls to do smt naughty:)
You: Like what?
Stranger: camsex
You: Oh.
You: I was thinking maybe apple-scrumping.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: do you dress up for your partner?
You: What partner?
You: I have a partner?!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: I know something you don't know.
You: Would you hug a stingray if it was lonely?
Stranger: Nope.
You: Aww.
Stranger: They might fuck me like they did with that dude
You: Steve Irwin?
Stranger: Yeah
You: No, you have to jump on them for that to happen.
You: And also make a career out of pissing off dangerous animals on national TV.
You: That was in fact a hit.
Stranger: Isn't that ironic?
Stranger: He messed with crocdiles, sharks and lions
Stranger: didn't had a scratch
Stranger: then a single stingray put him on heaven
You: Exactly, nobody suspects the stingray.
You: I prefer to think of him in Valhalla anyway.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Over the course of your life, if there was one life lesson or general piece of knowledge you've acquired that you feel is important for other people to know, what would it be?
You: If you put a spatula underwater it's easier to move it sideways than vertically.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

True story.


Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: 18 f UK
Stranger: cool 19 m
Stranger: alone :P:P
You: nice, im with my dad mind if he joins in?
Stranger: msn id?
You: Dammit, this is where you get mindfucked and disconnect. You suck at this. D:<
You have disconnected.

You: Hello.
Stranger: are you horny girl ?
You: Yes. Yes I am.
You: Are you?
Stranger: asl please
You: 18 male UK.
Stranger: ım horny male and ı have big dick :D
Stranger: 19 male tur :D
Stranger: you want to see my cock ? :D
You: No thanks, I'm straight.
Stranger: do you have msn. omegle is very bored
You: It is?
You: We must find a way to excite it. like, say, having a proper, decent conversation instead of trying to wank!
Stranger: baby msn ?
You: MSN? For babies?
You: I'M GOING ON DRAGON'S DEN WITH THAT
Stranger: baby
You have disconnected.

Stranger: heyy babeyy
You: Hi.
Stranger: asl
You: 18 m UK.
You: And yourself?
Stranger: fack yeaa, you hot?
Stranger: im 16 f aust
You: No.
Stranger: your not hot?
You: Nope, not one tiny bit.
Stranger: i bet you aree
Stranger: i like a boy with confedence
Stranger: its a turn on
You: You probably won't like me much then.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Stranger: horny female?
You: Yes.
Stranger: cyber?
You: Okay.
Stranger: you make me cum then i'll make you cum
You: Alright
You: So I get out my dick
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: ☎
Stranger: RING RIGN
You: *PICKS UP*
You: HELLO?
Stranger: HELLO DUDE
You: HI SUP
Stranger: JUST CHILLING! U?
You: SAME
Stranger: YAY
Stranger: YOU HAVE A NICE PHONE VOICE
You: THANKS YOU TOO
Stranger: THANK YOU
You: ANYWAY SORRY I GOTTA GO. TALKING TO SOMEONE ON OMEGLE.
Stranger: :(
Stranger: ME TOO
You: *HANGS UP*
You: Sorry about that.
You: Had a call.
 
Stranger: asl PLEASE
You: 800, none, Jupiter.
I say this to everybody who asks this. Except I use 746 and made it up on my own without viewing this thread because I am ~unique~. (Most of the time this prompts them to disconnect, but I did have one long conversation with someone where we talked at length and I made up a whole bunch of shit about Jupiter culture. It was pretty fun.)

Other responses to commonly asked questions that I use are:

Stranger: How are you?
You: Melting rapidly.
(Prompted one conversation where I ended up describing in detail how I came to be melting, and another where someone suggested I get inside a freezer and I said I would and left.)

Stranger: u horny?
You: No, but this one is ----> U

Stranger: Pasta?
You: Fffffuuuuuuuuuuuu-
(Previously prompted them to tell me that I had lost yet again and that I should kill myself, nowadays I fill that part in for them to save them the trouble.)
 
You: HOLY CRAP
You: IT'S A METAL SUIT OF ARMOR
Stranger: ASAAAAAAAGH

Stranger: NOWAI

You: HE'S MOVING BY HIMSELF
You: NO BODY
You: SHIT
Stranger: AAAARGH

Stranger: PENIS
You: AND HE HAS THE VOICE OF A TEN YEAR OL-what
You: that's not scary at all >:|
Stranger: THATS PEDOFI- waitwut?

You: If only I knew :v
You: OH SHIT WHAT'S THE CIRCLE FOR
You: AAUUUUGHH I'M MELTING
You: HELP
You: HELP DAMNIT
Stranger: ur supposed to be melted homo
You have disconnected.
 
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hello
Stranger: asl
You: Had it surgically removed.
Stranger: lol
You: Yeah, it was growing eyes and shit.
You: And I was like
You: "No man, not cool."
You: And then I had it removed by a witch doctor.
You: The problem now though is that I'm a monkey.
Stranger: thats awesome
Stranger: did they conduct studies on you
You: Nah
You: Fortunately, I knew how to operate a gun.
You: I did get a shot on the news though.
You: ...
You: *rimshot*
Stranger: lol
Stranger: zz
You: Excellent.
You: He's fallen asleep.
Stranger: yess!
You: Now's my cue to steal his wallet and-
You: OSHIT.
Stranger: ?!
You: Erm...
You: *shoots*
You: ...
Stranger: uh oh
You: *shoots again*
Stranger: im worried
You: Why?
Stranger: shots?
Stranger: bad sign
You: I'm shooting you fool.
Stranger: i know
You: ...
You: Anyways
You: Can you hurry up and die now?
You: I have an appointment in like fifteen minutes.
Stranger: me?
You: Yeah.
You: ...
You: You dead yet?
Stranger: mhm
You: HOLY FUCKING SHIT A ZOMBIE
You: DIE ZOMBIE
You: *shot* *shot*
You: ...
You: *shot*
You: ...
You: *shot*
You: *steals wallet*
You have disconnected.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT A ZOMBIE
 
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi random stranger!!
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: are you there steve
You: talk to me steve
You: will you marry me steve?
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: why won't you marry me steve
You: STEVE
You: YOU CHEATED ON ME
You: HOW DARE YOU STEVE
You: im sorry i yelled steve
Stranger: i'm not steve
You: what?
You: why are you saying that steve
You: marry me steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
Stranger: okay
You: please marry me steve
Stranger: i'll marry you
Stranger: even though i'm not steve
You: YES!
You: i know you are steve
You: i know everrything steve
You: everything
You: i also know how you went to that prostitute
You: who gave you crabs
You: and that you gave me crabs steve
You: im angry at you for that steve
Stranger: LoL
You: steve
Stranger: why don't you eat them?
Stranger: they are expensive
Stranger: at the restaurant
You: why eat crabs when you can have lobster?
You: steve
You: why steve
You: why
You: i like lobster steve
You: you should buy me more lobster steve
You: lobster
Stranger: no
You: no?
Stranger: why not some clams?
You: clams give me diarrea
You: you know that steve
Stranger: xD
You: you know that
Stranger: okay okay
Stranger: i'll buy you some lobster
You: yes steve
You: but me lobster
You: like the good little puupy you are
Stranger: xDDDDDDDDDD
You: then ill give you some dog food
Stranger: what do you want for dessert?
Stranger: god hell no
Stranger: i like cat food
You: sherbet steve
Stranger: not dog food
Stranger: which falvour?
You: sherbet
You: flavor
Stranger: flavour
You: sherbet the flavor of sherbet
You: now you understand steve
You: now you understand
You: steve
Stranger: what?
Stranger: there are
Stranger: lemon sherbet
Stranger: orange sherbet
Stranger: pineaple serbet
Stranger: wich one?
You: i want caviar sherbet
Stranger: lol
You: served with gasoline topping
Stranger: you are expensive...
Stranger: what was your name?
You: yes steve
Stranger: olivia?
You: you know my name steve
You: you know
Stranger: yes olivia
Stranger: but I want a threesome
Stranger: if you want to marry me
You: yes steve
You: ?
Stranger: i want a threesome
Stranger: menage a trois
You: with who steve
Stranger: with my sister
You: YOU KNOW I DISAPPROVE OF INCEST STEVE
You: YOU KNOW
Stranger: why!!!
Stranger: you did it with your drandpa!!
Stranger: why can't i do it with my sister?
You: I DID NOT STEVE
Stranger: it looks less awful to me!!
You: NO STEVE
Stranger: YOU DID!!
You: No
You: no
You: no
You: no
You: no
You: no
You: no
You: no
You: no
You: no
You: no
You: no
You: no
You: no
You: no
Stranger: and your vagina tasted like an old man for 4 months!!
You: no
You: it did not
Stranger: it did
Stranger: yes you did
Stranger: don't deny
You: i taste it daily
You: it did not
You: i want a chihuahua steve
You: steve
Stranger: why?
You: steve
You: steve
You: stev
Stranger: you want to do it with it?
Stranger: a portable dildo dog?
Stranger: wtf olivia
You: i will leave you if you dont stop this steve
Stranger: stop asking me for those nasty things!
You: i will sue you
You: repeatedly
You: in the butt
You: until you die
Stranger: you know what?
Stranger: i'm not marrying you
You: GASP
Stranger: i'm going to marry shanon
You: THAT PROSTITUTE
Stranger: she's not a prostitute!
You: YOU WILL NOT DO THIS STEVE
Stranger: she is a firewoman!
You: YOUNWILNOT
Stranger: the only firewoman i've ever met
You: I NOW PRONOUNCE US MAN AND WIFE STEVE
You: ITS TOO LATE STEVE
You: ITS TOO LATE
You: too late
You: now give me my sherbet flavored sherbet
You: or else
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: i want a cat
You: i will name him steve
You: and he will be steve when you are not steve
You: you are not steve a lot steve
You: why don't you say anything steve
You: why steve
You: do you not like me anymore steve
You: do you not like your own wife steve
You: dont leave me steve
You: i love you steve
You: i want kids steve
You: one of them will be named steve
You: and the other will be name banana
You: and they will be happy kids
You: and then we'll die
You: and they'll grow up
You: and we'll be buried next to each other
You: and we'll be buried at the same time
You: because you will commit suicide if i die
You: and ill do the same if you die steve
You: doesnt that sound nice steve
You: it will be nice
You: and ill frolic around in heaven
You: but youll be sent to hell steve
You: because you went to that crab ridden prostitute steve
You: that will be your punishment steve
You: if you dont talk, youll go mute steve
You: and then youll spread the mutness to our kids
You: and they'll be mute too steve
You: i dont want that steve
You: if you dont say something, ill leave steve
You: im leaving steve
You: youll never find anyone like me steve
You: and then youll commit suicide steve
You: and ill hear about it and be happy steve
You: you will never find another olivia
You have disconnected.

I totally named him Steve.
 
guys you need to bump this more otherwise i get ridiculously long backlogs of stuff to post and then this happens

You: DRINK
Stranger: pickle to u too
You: FECK ARSE
Stranger: cumbag
Stranger: nobcheese
You: DRINK
Stranger: i 13 piss off
You: ARSE
You: FECK
Stranger: dick
Stranger: go suk a platapussy
You: FECK
Stranger: retard nob
You: DRINK
Stranger: nobsukka
You: DRINK
Stranger: nobcheese cumbag twat
You: DRINK
Stranger: liva damage
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
cool insults bro

Stranger: i see you
You: o rly
You: then what am i weating
Stranger: yeahh
You: *wearing
Stranger: a sexy nothing
You: NO.
You: A BADGER SUIT.
You: HA.
Stranger: where r u from?
Stranger: pakistan? somalia?
You: I'm from ʥ.
Stranger: where's this
You: Next to asdfghjkl
Stranger: o rly? ive been to ʥ
You: Where in ʥ?
Stranger: it the east
Stranger: in *
Stranger: blah
Stranger: your a dog
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Δ
Stranger: hello
You: Hi
Stranger: can you please help me?
You: With what?
Stranger: i am looking for a job
Stranger: im a 23 yr old guy
You: Want to be a hired assassin?
You: I need someone to take out the president of the USA.
You: I'll pay you $1.
Stranger: put this 1 dollar up your ass
You: Fine.
You: But now I've told you my plan, you'll have to be destroyed.
You: Good day.
You have disconnected.

You: 18 m uk not horny.
Stranger: 18 usa
Stranger: and why arent you horny
You: Why should I be?
Stranger: because ur talking to mee
You: And are you a magic horniness fairy?
Stranger: noo im just really sexii
Stranger: lol
You: Oh
Stranger: lol
You: I can't see that from here, of course.
Stranger: yeaa
You: I think I've found the flaw in your logic.
Stranger: n whats that?
You: I just explained; your being "really sexii" has no bearing on my hormones because I can't detect this.
Stranger: i knno that
Stranger: lol
You: Thus your reason why you think I should be horny is null and void.
Stranger: ur mean
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: [number removed to protect the irritating] call me. or texttt me (: we can have a great timeeee. 19 year old girl.
You: Omegle can also be used for communication, just so you know.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: if i put u in a cage what would u do?
You: Escape.
Stranger: but theres a acid pit if u escape
You: I'm immune to acid.
Stranger: u also have to fight bane out of batman
You: I'm immune to bane out of batman.
Stranger: ur a weirdo
Stranger: r u blak??
You: You're the one who locks people in cages >:(


Stranger: Doctor im a sex addict and im a very naughty girl can u help me?
You: No.
You: I'm not a doctor, see.
Stranger: so u can help me ):
You: No, you'll want a registered medical doctor.
You: Good luck getting help.
Stranger: ur mean.
You: Well I could go and study for a medical degree if you like, but you'd be faster finding someone who already has one.
Stranger: why cant u just fuck me?
You: For a start I've applied for Law, not Medicine.
You: Because that would worsen your problem, like giving a smoking addict a fag.
Stranger: Omg. please.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Apparently not being horny makes you a bad person now

Stranger: thn?
You: What?
Stranger: u bitch y ru here!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Uh, yeah
(wtf)

Stranger: HEY
Stranger: MALE 18 UK
You: YES, I AM
You: HOW DID YOU GUESS
You: ARE YOU BRIAN BLESSED
 
Stranger: horny 16 male!
You: Hm...
You: Interesting.
Stranger: ?
You: Horns, eh?
You: I could use those...
You: Hm...
You: Where's my cutting blade...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Yo dawg, Beaty McStandardRapper here.
You: Imma bout to lay down a funky beat...
Stranger: ovly here nu?
You: ..ABOUT FRIENDSHIP!
You: OOH BABY~
Stranger: r u a rapper
You: OOH OOH
You: WE HAVE THE POWAH
You: THE POWAH
You: THE POWAH OF FRIENDSHIP
You: OOH OOH
You: WITH IT
You: WITH IT
You: WE CAN'T BE STOPPED
You: OOH OOH
You: OOH
You: OOH
Stranger: yup
You: FINALLY THE TIME HAS COME
You: TO USE THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP
Stranger: i like psychadelic trance
You: BUT YOU AREN'T MY FRIEND
Stranger: i m a raver
You: SO IT WON'T WORK
You: NOW WE'RE DOOMED
You: TO A THOUSAND YEARS OF DARKNESS
You: FOR ALL ETERNITY
You: OOH OOH
You: BECAUSE
Stranger: u like trance
You: BECAUSE
You: YOU WOULDN'T GIVE ME THAT COOKIE IN 5TH GRADE
You: OOH OOH
You: YEEEEEEEEEEAH~
You have disconnected.

The Power of Friendship is now available on iTunes.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Tits.
You: I have too many.
You: Quality Tits
You: 30 dollars.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi!
You: Hello
Stranger: 16/F/Germany you?
Stranger: Cute!
You: I dunno.
Stranger: you want to see my dirty slideshow?
Stranger: take a look :D <link removed>
You: I don't know where I am to be honest.
Stranger: hope you enjoy!
You: I don't remember much after the zombies swarmed...
You: Oh god.
You: I remember
You: They killed my sister.
You: VENDETTA!
You: VENDETTA!
You: VEND-
You: ...
You: There's some cake here.
You: It wasn't here earlier.
You: Wait
You: FFFFU-
You: THE CAKE IS A LIE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: ZOMBIES
You: TAKE THIS SHOTGUN
You: WE MUST DEFEND THIS FORT TILL MORN'.
You: Remember
You: Children give you bonus points
Stranger: the must something wrong with your brain
You: Prolly the virus.
You: Now quick
You: Shoot those humans!
You: BEFORE THEY KILL US ALL
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
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