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The Battle for Asber

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Round Six, Act One

Death Canyon has only just arrived on the battlefield but, it seems, the porygon is already eager to leave. It stares up at the legends for a moment, head rotating slowly as it thinks, and then, abruptly, gives up on its fight against gravity.

Death Canyon and its former passengers plummet and, high above, a ripple of shock passes through Giratina's gaseous form. The green smear in the air that marks its position slithers downwards, but Death Canyon is falling much faster than it can flow. Frustration sends literal bubbles through the spectre-dragon's body, but the anger only goes to fuel its psychic abilities; it's just going to have to take its shot and hope for the best. It's a chancy shot to make, but the legend lashes out with a telekinetic snare nonetheless--and its aim proves true. Death Canyon slams to a halt as Giratina's psychic powers freeze it in place, and once it's gotten over the shock, it is quick to restore the levitation that had been keeping the humans afloat. The four of them hang suspended some ways below the battlefield--they can hardly make out Mewtwo and Darkrai, but Death Canyon's swift, pessimistic analysis is that they haven't gone far enough to be out of danger.

The truth of this assessment is driven home a moment later when Mewtwo appears, with no more than a faint fizz of psychic energy, not three feet from Death Canyon, its substitute perched on its shoulders with its tail draped lazily around its master's neck.

The legend favors Death Canyon with a smirk. Welcome to the battlefield, my synthetic friend. It seems you've got yourself in a bit of a bind already. Perhaps you'd care for a little assistance?

The porygon-z lets out a blast of angry binary, and Mewtwo tilts its head to one side as it listens to the whistles and clicks. Well, I've heard politer greetings, but I suppose your rudeness is understandable. Now, look here. I have just the item to help you out of your bind. The legend raises a fist and rocks it back and forth in front of Death Canyon's face. The porygon verbalizes another string of zeroes and ones that suggest that Mewtwo might put the proffered item somewhere uncomfortable. The legend laughs and holds its fist above its head, still concealing whatever is clutched within. Don't believe me? You're making a mistake, my friend. This here is a thing of great power, surely enough to break you out of that telekinesis--and I imagine it would come in mighty handy even after that. Here--want to see?

Death Canyon doesn't have much choice when Mewtwo shoves its fist into the porygon's face, but it can't quite suppress its interest in the mysterious item, and its head floats forward a tad, its eyes spinning gently with curiosity. Almost immediately, Mewtwo yanks its hand away from the porygon-z's bill. Ah, ah, ah. Now, I can't just let something this good go for free, now can I? But I'll make you an excellent deal. That chesto berry there? It's practically a donation, but out of the goodness of my heart, I'll accept it as payment. What do you say?

It's a pity Death Canyon wasn't around to see the fall of Lurline. Like the sableye before it, the porygon is sorely tempted and, with Mewtwo's psychic meddling at work, receives no advice upon turning to its trainer. Yes, it seems too good to be true, but what if it isn't? And what is a chesto berry, anyway? Some $2 item slapped on at the last minute, nothing rare or powerful about it at all. As Death Canyon watches, Mewtwo's fingers tighten around its mystery trinket, and blue lightning crackles and snaps around its fist. Well? This offer won't be on the table forever. I've got a battle to fight here, after all. Death Canyon's head spins in agitation, but as Mewtwo shrugs, its tail lashing as though it intends to propel itself upwards, the porygon-z makes a quick decision and tosses its chesto berry in the legend's direction. Mewtwo snatches it out of the air with a broad smile, then draws closer to Death Canyon, proffering his still-clenched fist. Ah, excellent! I knew you'd come around eventually. A wise choice, my little friend, wise indeed. And now for your prize. It's... the legend turns its hand palm-up and uncurls its fingers to reveal--...absolutely nothing! Thanks, sucker; we couldn't have done it without you. Now--are you ready for the second act? It points upward.

Darkrai has been descending, finding the right altitude that will allow it to pull all its opponents into a dark void, even the distant Death Canyon. This is somewhat below most of the pokémon, but in a moment Mewtwo teleports up to join it, juggling the purloined chesto berry with its tail. The legendaries share a nasty laugh over the incompetence of their opponents, then Darkrai spreads its arms wide, releasing a wave of darkness that rushes out in all directions, pulling all it touches down into the emptiness of nightmare, an emptiness that will only too soon be populated by the darkest conjurations of its victims' subconsciousnesses. For all its anger, Death Canyon has no hope of resisting the black tide of the dark void; it does not go quietly into the encroaching night, but go it does, and its teammates are likewise dragged under.

Ventus swoops away from the reaching tendrils of the dark void, playing a losing game against the billowing wall of blackness that rushes in to swallow her. Anger and frustration surge through the swellow's breast as tendrils of darkness nip at her tailfeathers and horrors whisper from the shadows. She doesn't have time for this! She can still see her target through the dark haze--Darkrai's down there having a jolly good laugh at the lot of them. Well, Ventus isn't going to put up with this nonsense. Orange energy streams from the swellow's wings as she summons all her strength. She banks straight into the onrushing dark void, a spinning starburst of golden energy drilling through the blackness and protecting her from its touch as she plummets, to ram into Darkrai's head with incredible speed. Mewtwo watches with mild interest as its partner is knocked down, hissing furiously, in a flash of brilliant light. Ventus banks away and rockets off to a safe distance while Darkrai flails uselessly at the air, struggling to catch the bird. You! Why won't you just die? The swellow flings crude taunts back over her shoulder at the furious legend.

By now the dark void has dissipated into empty air, leaving Aries, Ptah, Death Canyon, and Mr. Wonderful in the grips of a tormented slumber--perhaps. The fissures in the spiritomb's keystone glows, the ghost drawn up inside it, but now a questing tendril of gas emerges, testing the air cautiously. Is the nightmare-wave gone? Has Darkrai forgotten about him? Slowly, the whole of Mr. Wonderful's gaseous body unfurls, the spiritomb grinning nastily as he congratulates himself on a well-executed escape. His cheerfulness rapidly dissipates as he takes stock of the field. Apparently some of his colleagues weren't as prescient as him, and it seems there's no one left to provide his accompaniment. The spiritomb does his best, belting out the loudest trololo Asber has ever heard, but it's still not enough; some of his comrades stir fitfully, but none manages to shake off slumber. Darkrai barely appears to notice the noise, but Mewtwo's substitute seems unusually rattled. It covers Mewtwo's ears with its paws so that the legend can inspect the chesto berry it just picked up in peace, but the buffeting it takes from the round is severe. Blobs of psychic power tear away from its body, giving it a nibbled-on appearance that Mewtwo doesn't find very dignified. The legend shoots Mr. Wonderful an annoyed glance, but doesn't seem overly worried.

Team Legend
Safeguard in play: 4 more actions

Kratos Aurion (O)
giratinaof2.png

Giratina (X) <Prankster>
Health: 807
Energy: 943
Used: Telekinesis @ Death Canyon
- Smug.

Pathos (O)
darkrai
Darkrai (X) <Bad Dreams>
Health: 700
Energy: 931
Used: Dark Void
- Delighted.

Kusarigamaitachi (O)
mewtwo
Mewtwo (X) <Prankster> @ Chesto Berry
Health: 944
Energy: 927
Used: Trick @ Death Canyon
- Juggling its new chesto berry. Has a substitute with 10% health.

Team Asber

Derpy (O)
cottonee
Aries (M) <Pressure> @ Sun Stone
Health: 84%
Energy: 64%
Used: Nothing
- Lost in nightmare. Deeply asleep. +3 Defense

Chief Zackrai (O)
gliscor
Ptah (M) <Hyper Cutter> @ Life Orb
Health: 70%
Energy: 67%
Used: Nothing
- Twitching in his slumber. Deeply asleep.

blazheirio889 (O)
swellow
Ventus (F) <Guts> @ Life Orb
Health: 54%
Energy: 52%
Used: Giga Impact @ Darkrai
- Determined.

Wargle (O)
spiritomb
Mr. Wonderful (M) <Pressure> @ Expert Belt
Health: 73%
Energy: 77%
Used: Round
- Warbling away.

Crazy Linoone (O)
porygonz
Death Canyon (M) <Download>
Health: 97%
Energy: 99%
Used: Nothing
- sleep(randint(1,5)) Deeply asleep.
 
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Of course the porygon-z is irrelevant. They all are.

But my, this swarm is just full of suckers, isn't it? Perhaps you should take note, humans, of how little these insects care for the toys you give them.

Then again, it's not untrue that this berry is worth little more than an empty hand. If this is all you can equip the pokémon with, perhaps they would do better without you.
 
... What. Mewtwo is not a she. Of all the things I imagined being wrong with you humans, fantasizing genders for gods was not one of them; I don't even want to imagine why.
 
There was no mention of Kusarigamaitachi in this conversation until you brought it in, and it too is not a she. Please, for pity's sake, if you wish to take on the gods, do the minimal amount of research. This is just sad, for me, and I'm trying to kill you all.
 
I am not sure how you all don't see the femininity in Mewtwo.

I mean. Look at her. I even imagine her with a feminine voice
 
Round Six, Act Two

Death Canyon doesn't have long to slumber. In fact, it has only just been wrapped in visions of corrupted data and network lag when a sharp pain in its central processor brings it back to wakefulness in the most unpleasant way possible. Giratina is exerting its psychic powers against the porygon-z again, and in a much more aggressive fashion this time. Death Canyon shudders and reflexively tries to pull away, not that it would benefit much even if it could. The dragon's psychic attack drills through Death Canyon's consciousness, auguring at its most basic function, thinking, and causing it prolonged, intense discomfort.

The view the porygon-z gets after coming out of sleep mode isn't pleasant, either. Mewtwo and Darkrai, still hanging around below the level of most of their opponents, are growing twin orbs of energy between their hands. For a pokémon with battling knowledge as encyclopedic as Death Canyon's, it's easy to identify a focus blast taking shape, and the porygon-z decides it had best be away from here at speed. Unfortunately, Giratina's psychic intrusion isn't over; Death Canyon's neural network is alight with pain as the legend flips bits and overflows buffers with malicious abandon. Death Canyon's form flickers and blurs as he tries to teleport to safety, but try as it might, it just can't summon the concentration necessary to focus on its destination and make the transfer. The porygon-z is a sitting duck when Mewtwo and Darkrai release their attacks, two scintillating golden globes nearly as large as Death Canyon itself striking the porygon-z. When the resulting blast of energy dissipates, the porygon-z hangs limply in the grip of the telekinesis, overwhelmed with pain, its eyes flashing red as all its vital systems report critical levels of damage.

Ventus, meanwhile, is getting tired. She's been doing nothing but hammering away with her most powerful attacks since she arrived in the battle, and she isn't sure how much longer she'll be able to sustain her assault. For now, she does have enough stamina to summon another giga impact, but it takes her longer than usual--or perhaps the loud "ohohoho"-ing coming from Mr. Wonderful is just making it hard for her to concentrate. By the time the swellow has smashed into Darkrai again, the irritating noise has finally managed to drag one of the other sleepers out of his nightmare.

Ptah finds he just can't take eldritch abominations seriously when they're warbling cheerily away. The gliscor opens his eyes groggily, feeling sour and achy as the aftereffects of his bad dreams slowly fade. For whatever reason, the singing that pervaded his dreams is still going on. It takes a few seconds for Ptah to realize what's up, but after that he jerks back to attention quickly enough. A quick scan of the arena finds Aries still asleep while Mr. Wonderful gamely tries to carry a tune by himself. Ptah clacks his claws and considers. No, there really isn't any way for him to get out of it; he's just going to have to get it over with. The gliscor gathers his courage, draws in a deep breath--and sings.

Mr. Wonderful's grin broadens as Ptah's scratchy voice joins the chorus, and the spiritomb redoubles his efforts. The strength of the two pokémon's voices combines and rebounds, the trolololing blaring around the arena enough to drown out the frequent roars of meteors showering down on its outskirts. Darkrai massages its temples and grumbles, while Mewtwo still enjoys the protection of his substitute, albeit not for long. The vicious soundwaves are tearing the construct apart, and once Ptah joins in the song, its disintegration only accelerates. Mewtwo glances up in annoyance as the last of the creature frays away to nothing, leaving no more than a few fading sparks of psychic energy hanging in the air. Sure, avoiding damage was nice, but more importantly the substitute was protecting it from the poor taste of its opponents. Perhaps now it will have to take measures to actually shut them up.

The burst of joyful noise is at last enough to rouse Aries; the cottonee snaps back to wakefulness in no time at all and starts to panic when it can't see Darkrai anywhere. Only upon looking down does Aries spot his target--what he thinks is his target, anyway. He has no idea if Death Canyon used round or not, though at the moment the porygon-z hardly looks capable of making a ruckus. Ptah and Mr. Wonderful seem to have the singing thing well in hand, so Aries decides to contribute something a little more his specialty. With the sun still shining brightly, it's a piece of cake to condense a quick solarbeam, and Darkrai's attention is abruptly drawn upwards when a thick beam of solar energy streams down on it from above.

Team Legend
Safeguard in play: 3 more actions

Kratos Aurion (O)
giratinaof2.png

Giratina (X) <Prankster>
Health: 807
Energy: 938
Used: Psychic @ Death Canyon
- Undamaged and unmoved by the singing.

Pathos (O)
darkrai
Darkrai (X) <Bad Dreams>
Health: 653
Energy: 925
Used: Focus Blast @ Death Canyon
- In a foul mood again.

Kusarigamaitachi (O)
mewtwo
Mewtwo (X) <Prankster> @ Chesto Berry
Health: 944
Energy: 921
Used: Focus Blast @ Death Canyon
- Annoyed.

Team Asber

Derpy (O)
cottonee
Aries (M) <Pressure> @ Sun Stone
Health: 84%
Energy: 60%
Used: Solarbeam @ Darkrai
- A little sheepish. +3 Defense

Chief Zackrai (O)
gliscor
Ptah (M) <Hyper Cutter> @ Life Orb
Health: 69%
Energy: 61%
Used: Round
- Reluctantly singing along.

blazheirio889 (O)
swellow
Ventus (F) <Guts> @ Life Orb
Health: 53%
Energy: 41%
Used: Giga Impact @ Darkrai
- Getting tired.

Wargle (O)
spiritomb
Mr. Wonderful (M) <Pressure> @ Expert Belt
Health: 73%
Energy: 71%
Used: Round
- Having a great time.

Crazy Linoone (O)
porygonz
Death Canyon (M) <Download>
Health: 37%
Energy: 98%
Used: Nothing
- Kernel panic.
 
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As much as I'd enjoy Ptah still being asleep, I don't think it can manage trololoing and sleeping at the same time.
 
Round Six, Act Three

Death Canyon collects itself, slowly raising its head and refocusing its optical sensors. It looks as though there will be little point in doing so, however; already Darkrai and Mewtwo are preparing another pair of focus blasts. At least Giratina's stopped hammering away at its mind; at the moment, Death Canyon has to dwell on whatever small comforts it can.

Mewtwo is the first to release its attack, though it's managed to produce a focus blast even larger than usual, the humming ball of golden energy completely engulfing Death Canyon as it strikes and seriously corroding the porygon-z's defense systems. Death Canyon barely has the time to assess the damage before the second focus blast, lobbed by Darkrai, hits home and forces an immediate emergency shutdown. Like Monopole before it, the porygon-z is left hanging limply in the grip of the telekinesis although its own levitation functions have failed. Fortunately for the trainers that were relying on it for support, there's enough power left to hold them on a level with the porygon-z--but as soon as it starts to drop, they'll be going with it.

Giratina is cooking up its own attack, lightning flickering through the green cloud that marks where its essence is drifting. Its target flits about below, oblivious to the dragon's intent, as she tries to find a good angle from which to begin her next attack. Giratina's thunderbolt coalesces and leaps down to electrocute the unwary bird. Taken completely by surprise, Ventus shudders and twists in what she could swear is the legend's most vicious thunderbolt yet, tumbling blindly through the air. Even after the initial blast of electricity dissipates, however, the swellow is dismayed to find that she can't regain control of her wings; they spasm and jerk erratically, and Ventus finds herself losing altitude rapidly as she fights a sudden wave of paralysis.

Ptah sees his teammate plummeting and fears the worst. The gliscor leaves off singing to hiss, a bit hoarsely. The legends have a lot to answer for, that much is for certain. If Ventus is out of the game, it's up to him to pick up the slack and send some flying-type pain Darkrai's way. He leaves Mr. Wonderful to roll over into another stanza of trolololing, shooting straight up as he gathers fiery flying energy about himself. Chief Zackrai wraps his arm more securely around the gliscor's neck and shields his eyes against the brilliant light, then throws himself flat against his pokémon's back as Ptah reaches the apex of his flight and begins a brilliant dive.

By now, Darkrai has had entirely too much experience with blazing pokémon rushing down on it from on high; the legend can do little more than clench its fists and vow terribly painful revenge on Ptah once it's recovered from the sky attack. Naturally, Aries' next solarbeam arrives a few moments later, and this, too, the legend accepts as only to be expected, if damn annoying. What neither Darkrai, nor any other pokémon on the field, had anticipated was the loud screech from below, followed shortly by the arrival of a comet plummeting upwards, Ventus cloaked in a huge wall of orange energy. The giga impact strikes Darkrai solidly, carrying it several meters into the air before Ventus banks away, the last contrails of normal-type energy peeling away from her feathers and fading as she goes. The swellow is visibly exhausted after the third such attack in a row, but she carries herself proudly despite both that and the way periodic twitches of her wings make her flight slow and wobbly.

Unfortunately, Ventus isn't going to be the only comet plowing across the arena this round, and much to Ptah's dismay, it's headed straight for him. The gliscor does his best to dodge, but doesn't quite make it; the meteor clips an outspread wing and spins him around, and the gliscor tumbles dizzily while Chief Zackrai hangs on for dear life.

Meanwhile, a new pokémon has arrived to take Death Canyon's place. Umbra the lampent, with Legendaryseeker99 gripping one of his arms and levitated by psychic force, rises up by Mr. Wonderful. The spiritomb tries to convey his welcome through the spinning of his ectoplasm and a gentle bobbing of his head, as he can't speak in the interest of keeping up his song. It's a good thing the spiritomb doesn't need to breathe--he'd be having a tough time about now otherwise.

Ptah drops down past Umbra, struggling to regain control of his flight; being sideswiped by a space rock is a rather disorienting experience. Once he does manage to get himself reoriented, though, he is able to brush his own cares aside. Losing Death Canyon was a real blow, but Ventus' triumphant return is a terrific inspiration--as is the way Darkrai clutches at its bloody side and struggles to keep its human host steady in the air.

Team Legend
Safeguard in play: 3 more actions

Kratos Aurion (O)
giratinaof2.png

Giratina (X) <Prankster>
Health: 807
Energy: 930
Used: Thunderbolt @ Ventus
- Unhappy that its attack backfired. Phased out.

Pathos (O)
darkrai
Darkrai (X) <Bad Dreams>
Health: 590
Energy: 919
Used: Focus Blast @ Death Canyon
- Really starting to feel those attacks.

Kusarigamaitachi (O)
mewtwo
Mewtwo (X) <Prankster> @ Chesto Berry
Health: 942
Energy: 915
Used: Focus Blast @ Death Canyon
- Annoyed.

Team Asber

Derpy (O)
cottonee
Aries (M) <Pressure> @ Sun Stone
Health: 86%
Energy: 58%
Used: Solarbeam @ Darkrai
- Feeling a little more confident. +3 Defense

Chief Zackrai (O)
gliscor
Ptah (M) <Hyper Cutter> @ Life Orb
Health: 53%
Energy: 53%
Used: Sky Attack @ Darkrai
- Overjoyed to see Ventus back.

blazheirio889 (O)
swellow
Ventus (F) <Guts> @ Life Orb
Health: 27%
Energy: 29%
Used: Giga Impact @ Darkrai
- Tired, but more defiant than ever. Guts activated. Paralyzed (severe).

Wargle (O)
spiritomb
Mr. Wonderful (M) <Pressure> @ Expert Belt
Health: 73%
Energy: 68%
Used: Round
- Still warbling away.

Crazy Linoone (X)
porygonz
Death Canyon (M) <Download>
Health: 0%
Energy: 98%
Used: Nothing
Knocked Out!

Up Next

Legendaryseeker99 (O)
lampent
Umbra (M) <Flash Fire> @ Wise Glasses
Health: 100%
Energy: 100%
- Ready to serve.

Terrain Notes
The strong sunlight continues (3 more actions).

Final Notes
- Mr. Wonderful's first round was a critical hit on Mewtwo's substitute. Mewtwo's second focus blast and Giratina's thunderbolt were also critical hits.
- Commands are due at 10 pm next Sunday, the 5th of February. I'll be gone from Friday until Sunday, so if you need me for anything, you'll need to plan ahead.
 
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