The LGBT Club

[shy ♡]

I see coming out just as a subtle change from being 'in' and being 'out'. Being out of the closet for me is feeling that if someone asks you what your sexuality is, you will give them an honest answer, that other people start to know, etc. For me, coming out is just transitioning from keeping it a relative secret to being open about it. Hence how you can be out to some people but not to all.

I think coming out has a different meaning now, as queerness becomes more accepted. It's still a relevant thing though, or at least I think so.

Yes, I think the difference mostly is if someone asks you, how you answer. That meaning, whether you are out to yourself. Coming out to other people isn't important; coming out to yourself is.

But people usually realize this stuff when they're young, so it just seems like an odd question to me. Well, either when they're young or really old, heh.

 

[Jolty]

Please, ignore me if I'm being invasive.

How are you going to introduce yourself at uni? Will your lecturers/seminar leaders know you're trans if you're on the register as Brandon?

I'd just introduce myself as if I was cisgendered. Like anyone else would.

And I dunno if my lecturers would know, as far as I know the timetables haven't been made for joint honours students yet so they might not have to know at all... but if they did know (maybe the admin people would /have/ to tell them?), so long as they used the right pronouns and everything straight away I'd have no problem with them being aware of it.

 

[Adriane]

I'm registered as Andrew because that's still my legal name, but I'm Adriane Fox to all my professors/peers because that's what I introduce myself as. *shrug*

 

[Amfibbian]

Er. Hi. I belong here I guess?

I'm just your average teenage boy with an 'F' next to the word 'gender' on various documents pertaining to him. :/

But I've only really told two people irl I'm trans, which would be my dad and my best friend, though my dad told my mom (who doesn't seem to get it eugh but at the same time doesn't care). When I told my dad I was worried he would get mad or something but instead he went 'oh. Yeah I've been suspecting that for awhile now. I love you no matter what... Son.' He keeps switching between calling me a guy and a girl but what more can I expect from a guy who points at a guy with long hair running down the street in a really girly manner holding a handbag, wearing short shorts, flip-flops, and a tight T-shirt, and says "HEY LOOK AT THAT HOMO! HAHAHA!" ? (that really did happen.) He knows I like men, too. girls are cute but I'm like 'eew, boobs'

And then I told my best friend over a course of awhile, like I'd mention things at times it was relevant, and then she still didn't really get her so I told her everything, but she still doesn't get it, fff. She keeps calling me a girl (even though everyone who doesn't know me recognizes me as male, 'cause I don't look, dress, sound, or act feminine) I keep telling her to stop it because it's seriously upsetting me now. She keeps telling me I'm a girl who 'pretends' to be a guy and shit like that. Today she said I'm a girl until I 'change stuff' ;-; She's totally cool with the LGBT community and all and supports it, but she just doesn't understands the T part, it seems. :|
I have no clue how to get her to understand and if anyone has anything helpful I could try on her I'd love them forever.

 

[Zeph]

So an interesting subject was brought up in the Sexuality thread - Does anybody beyond friends, family and peers, more specifically teachers at school/university/whatever, know of your, ah, LGBT-ness?

Myself, I'm pretty sure that several teachers probably know from my, uh, somewhat colourful clothing, overhearing conversations with friends and noticing some of the less-than-masculine tendencies I have (I know that feminine traits and colourful dressing isn't always a sign of homosexuality, before I am leapt on for this!), but I've never outright told anybody. Although I think in the GCSE religious studies exam there was a question about homosexuals being allowed to use IVF, and if I recall correctly I mentioned it in passing there as a backup to my opinion, so some examiner somewhere whom I've never met might know!

Also, welcome, Amfibbian!

 

[Minish]

Welcome, Amfibbian! :) Apart from the peculiar "hey look at that homo" thing, your dad sounds very cool. Every time I bring up trans issues to my mum she gets panicky, as if expecting me to suddenly announce that I'm trans myself. She clearly knows nothing about transgenderism, but I'm trying to educate her. I don't even want to bring it up with my dad because, awesome as he otherwise is, it's just something I reeeeally can't imagine him even beginning to comprehend (he's 57, which might go some way in explaining).

Yeah, loads of people at school know about the LGBTness of me and all my friends. One of my friends in particular, rather, considering that she has very short cropped hair and just... yeah. If she weren't so petite and feminine-looking she would be very butch. The students all know us as "the lesbian crowd" (even though none of us are actually lesbians) and used to gossip about us a lot, so I'm sure loads of teachers heard about us. I'm pretty sure at least a few of them have mistaken me and my friend as being girlfriends, and I've had many conversations with teachers about LGBT issues. Considering that not many people talk about LGBT stuff at my school unless they're LGBT themselves, for, I suppose, understandable reasons (we were kind of bullied for a few years because of our bisexuality... yeah, 'our', my three best friends are all bisexual), the teachers probably assume.

Also, our usually-evil head of year told us we could do Day of Silence a few years ago, so I would be shocked if she hadn't figured it out. Once me and my friend had just had a thrilling argument with two boys in our class about gay marriage rights, and when they left, we proceeded to discuss how they were quite clearly going out and in denial. XD It was hilarious.

My school's pretty LGBT-friendly though. Everyone knows us as the out crowd, we act and talk about jolly old gay things all the time, and I've never met a genuinely homophobic teacher there. /ramble

 

[Jolty]

Lower school: already explained about that one teacher who pulled me out of a lesson. Other than her, I think my PE teachers knew too... iirc I told them about how I was bullied in that lesson and how getting changed was kind of the worst thing ever lol.

Upper school: I know an english teacher I had knew. One time we had to make some non-advertising leaflets, and I decided to do mine on homophobia. Lol.
Some other teachers might've known but I forget.

Sixth Form: English teachers again lol. For year 13 coursework we had to read three texts and then kind of make our own question up to write an essay on. If that makes any sense. I did mine on gender and sexuality :B

Uni: ~*who knows yet*~

 

[Dark Shocktail]

Hi. I guess I go here since I'm sexually curious and won't say no to a girl if asked.

I haven't 'come out' so to speak. I've mention to my sister that I sometimes look at girls and think "I'd tap that", but otherwise I haven't really brought it up to anyone. Not my irl friends, my mum or anyone else. I started feeling this way after I left compulsory education, so none of my teachers where ever a bother. I knew a surprising number of lesbians though but it didn't really bother me when we changed for P.E. Me and my friends were pretty lax about that sort of thing and I wasn't their type anyway.

So yeah. Bicurious with no experience of either.

 

[Leaftail]

I've been having gay thoughts since the middle of the sixth grade (which I consider the grade where my life starting to suck). I hated it. There was one kid who said I was gay (really he just said that because I liked Pokemon) at every possible opportunity. I promised myself to prove him wrong.

Eventually I found out I was in fact the one who was wrong all these years. When I was finally able to admit it to myself, I made a new promise - that I would be proud of who I am.

I wanted to tell my friend by the end of the first week of school. I didn't. By the end of the second week, he still doesn't know, but I told five of my other friends (I happened to end up on the same van as the 5 people on my cross country team that I am most friendly with. So I told them (in a rather fun way, actually, but I digress. And considering this post is getting pretty big, I can't afford to digress. But I digress.)).

In English class a few days ago, we got an assignment on thesis statements. We had to respnd to a prompt - "Your girlfriend/boyfriend is upset that you spend too little time with them. Take a position as arguing from the side of wanting to spend more time or wanting to spend less time together." I wasn't going to say I had a girlfriend, so...

In retrospect, I should have been ambiguous with the gender. So now, the teacher knows my dirty little secret.

...Quite a predicament I have gotten myself into. I have him on Monday for the first time since I handed in that paper. Really (and I'm not even sure why), the only thing worse than him bringing up the subject when he gives me the paper is him not saying anything about it. *Sigh* It's gonna be a tough school day tomorrow...

 

[Amfibbian]

Thanks ;)

Haha, my teacher found out. Because on the first day we received credit history sheets to review so we could plan out what to work on this year, I crossed out my name and wrote 'Robert' above it, and then crossed out the F next to gender and put an M in its place. I didn't think we had to give them back though. FFFF oh well. He doesn't care and now calls me "Lieutenant" (hes a strange man, and gives most people random nick names so it doesn't seem weird to anyone he calls me that.)

Oh and I have a counselor who I talk to, she's actually the one who got me to tell my dad, I probably never would have said anything to him otherwise X) But my dad is cool, its fun in restaurants and such when the waiter/waitress calls me Sir and my dad acts normal. I can understand him calling me his daughter or whatever though, I mean, that's what I've been for all my life (though when my mom was pregnant he insisted I was a boy.) to him, so it's hard to suddenly change that.

Though I wanna slap my friend for ruining every time I try introduce myself to someone new around her and she steps in and goes "shes a girl" >:c but the rest of our group of friends call me he, because they nicknamed me Sweden (APH nerds. But all these girls are adorable. fff I have a soft spot for nerdy girls, especially chubby-ish ones with glasses and dimpled cheeks.)

 

[...]

My homophobic friend is ready to bitchslap me.

It's hilarious.

 

[Ryan the Terrible]

Okay fun story.

So I had been actually considering the subtle change mentioned in this thread (because I lurk here when I should probably post occasionally), and I was leaning towards setting a day when I would set that change and be prepared for "the question" from then on. Then one day a couple weeks ago, one of my best friends actually came out to me. I acted like I would want a person to act if I told them, like he had just said he's left handed.

Really though, there were a few things going through my head:
-Wow, there's actually another homo in Missouri?
-Wonder how everyone else in Straightsville is going to take this.
-What does this mean for me coming out?

So within the next couple days he tells a few more people, things go around, and it's out there. Apart from a couple of girls who suddenly wanted to know if he wanted to go shopping with them (he didn't :P), no one really cared, even the people I thought wouldn't take it well. Now at this point I felt like a total coward who's been worrying about nothing for the past few months. Dx

So earlier today I was over at his house. We haven't really talked about it much since he told me, but today it came up, don't exactly remember how, and he said, "You know, I was actually really surprised that you didn't mind that." So I just decided what the hell. "Yeah, I just don't really find it to be a very big deal. Actually I'm gay too."

He was actually pretty surprised, I guess I should take that as a compliment. :P After that gayness ensued. (No, not THAT kind of gayness.) He wanted to know what I was planning as far as telling more people, he thinks I should start telling people now but I'm not sure I should, given that he just did. Considering it now, I think I'll just stick to the plan of answering differently. People will probably start asking me soon given the ripple effect misconceptions I predict in the near future (he's gay so all his friends must be too). And of course there'd be whole new crap going around if I said yes, however I'd never be able to avoid that no matter how I timed it, and I don't really care what people think anyway.

Probably I'll just say it. Screw people and what they think.

WOW THAT WAS A WALL OF TEXT. That happens when I space out while typing and just start saying whatever comes to mind. :P

 

[...]

^TCoD needs a like button.

 

[Nope]

Newest bisexual in town, I guess I am. Discovered it last Tuesday, and I kind of "came out " to some of my friends and my family yesterday and today. Is it just me, or is it mentally exhausting even when you know they won't mind? ;(

So, uh, got a big crush on a girl in my class, even though I don't know her too well.

Hi?

 

[Zeph]

Is it just me, or is it mentally exhausting even when you know they won't mind? ;(

Oh no, it was just as bad for me! And I make sure to only associate with/be related to people who are liberal! It took many hours (as in, from start of "There's something I have to tell you" to actually admitting) for me to tell my family, and yet...!

 

[Diz]

Yeah, it's pretty stressful coming out, period.

And I'm never telling my family.

 

[Dark Shocktail]

I haven't really come out to my folks. My friends kinda know (largely because they're a queer bunch themselves) but eh...I don't really want to go up to my folks and announce it, cos that's making a big deal out of it.

 

[Flazeah]

I decided to admit it when the topic came up. When that time came, though, and my mum asked me whether I liked women or something - I was quite nervous. Just forced it out, I suppose.

Then recently I told her I think I might "like both". Thing is, I don't exactly know whether I'm into men as well. I've been trying to think about it seriously, and as matter of interest, attempting to remember any "signs" or indications that I might have liked blokes when I was younger. I've realised that I admired a lot of women, and I didn't really know the reason back then, but I honestly can't remember really feeling that way about blokes. *shrugs* Time will tell? Heh.

 

[...]

I'm prolly never going to tell anyone in my family, even if they ask. Unless I start going out with a guy and they know it, it's not much of a big deal. To me, at least. To my parents, homosexuality of any form is repulsive and is bringing our society down. I ignore their homophobic and anti-gay comments when they come up. I'm not bringing society down in any way now, am I? And surely none of you guys are either. Soo I don't even know what they'd say or do if I ever came out to them. Plenty of my friends know. They don't treat me any different.

 

[Zeph]

To my parents, homosexuality of any form is repulsive and is bringing our society down. I ignore their homophobic and anti-gay comments when they come up.

Next time they say something, you should try and turn it into a debate about homosexuality. Tell them why it's, uh, not repulsive.


...Unless they're the kind of parents who would smite you down instantly for just saying a word against their opinions.