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"Trans"-ferring. Hah.

Valerunner

Valerunner

Probably shouldn't be here.
Pronoun
She/her
All right, I'm testing the waters full-time. Slowly, anyway. And online.

From here on out, I'm gonna go into my girl-mode full-time to see how it affects me, but since I'm in university, I'm closeted, and I have a roommate, I'm gonna do it on the great, wide, interwebs. Most basement dwellers have already beaten me to it, but I want to see how it affects me being referred to as a girl in half of my social life. The second half comes soon, once I find some support.

Suddenly this feels like a pointless post, but at the same time my heart's racing. Put it this way: I'm a nervous, but forward-moving wreck.
 
Wow, that's great!

Out of curiosity, I recall you mentioning that you were bigender... do you still identify that way? Do you switch between girl and guy mode?
 
... said:
Wow, that's great!

Out of curiosity, I recall you mentioning that you were bigender... do you still identify that way? Do you switch between girl and guy mode?
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Definitely, but I'm still a bit apprehensive with it all. So here we are.
 
How pink is your avatar going to be?

It's a serious question; your current avatar, awesome though it is, and as much as I don't want to see it change, just exudes manliness. It's probably a product of my own mind seeing Kratos, the most violent video-game psychopath ever, as being a manly avatar. Then again, My Little Pony seems to be coming into it's own as 'manly', if the big, hairy biker with a my little pony on his helmet is anything to go by.

It was pink.

I suppose the entire gist of this post could have been replaced by the simple question 'are you going to change your avatar', but that wouldn't have given the reasoning behind the question. Kratos does make great eye-candy after all, and I just had to make it clear that I, for one, would be sad to see him go.

Plus there's something about 'Grimdour' that just demands a Kratos avatar. Awesome names do need awesome avatars, after all.
 
Chibi said:
... Why can't a girl have a "manly" avatar?
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Well, it's not a matter of "can't", it's a matter of how people tend to perceive things. Grimdour wants to be perceived as a female. To achieve that effect, it would be helpful for there to be a girly avatar, lest people's first impressions be that Grimdour is a female.
 
bulbasaur said:
Well, it's not a matter of "can't", it's a matter of how people tend to perceive things. Grimdour wants to be perceived as a female. To achieve that effect, it would be helpful for there to be a girly avatar, lest people's first impressions be that Grimdour is a female.
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Maybe they'd take judgement by her listed pronouns, rather than her avatar... ...

Good luck, Grimdour!
 
Cirrus said:
Maybe they'd take judgement by her listed pronouns, rather than her avatar... ...
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I sure hope they do. I tend to get my first impression from the avatar, though, and it takes some time before I'm used to the person with a "manly" avatar being a woman. I suspect that some others do as well.

But seriously, Grimdour, good luck with this, and I hope one day you'll be able to come out in real life.
 
bulbasaur said:
I sure hope they do. I tend to get my first impression from the avatar, though, and it takes some time before I'm used to the person with a "manly" avatar being a woman. I suspect that some others do as well.
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What the hell makes an avatar manly? How do icons convey gender? No, really! I'm curious now. This makes no sense to me.


Good luck, Grimdour!
 
I think what bulbasaur means is that bloody, uber macho muscle man from and uber bloody, gore filled video game is socially often considered more 'manly' than, say.... the stereotypical flowers and sunshine and kittens....

/overly stereotypicality.... (is that a word?)

My avatar isn't a very... girly one, so? But I understand what bulbasaur was saying. A person's avatar can say a lot about that person. (speaking of avatars, I think it's time for a new theme for me)


Anyways, happy you're making a big step forward Grim!
 
Viki said:
What the hell makes an avatar manly? How do icons convey gender? No, really! I'm curious now. This makes no sense to me.
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It's hard to qualify it, but it's like how you can tell if a room is a boy's room or a girl's room, or if clothes are boy's clothes or girl's clothes. You notice a pattern - this avatar has elements x, y, and z and belongs to a male; this avatar has elements a, b, and c and belongs to a female; this avatar has elements a, b, and c and belongs to a female; this avatar has elements x, y, and z and belongs to a male. When you come across another avatar then, with elements x, y, and z, you tend to think that the avatar would belong to a male.
 
bulbasaur said:
It's hard to qualify it, but it's like how you can tell if a room is a boy's room or a girl's room, or if clothes are boy's clothes or girl's clothes. You notice a pattern - this avatar has elements x, y, and z and belongs to a male; this avatar has elements a, b, and c and belongs to a female; this avatar has elements a, b, and c and belongs to a female; this avatar has elements x, y, and z and belongs to a male. When you come across another avatar then, with elements x, y, and z, you tend to think that the avatar would belong to a male.
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Please stop using 'female' and 'male' as nouns.

How exactly do you plan on IDing a room as belonging to a boy or a girl? Hint: it's probably hard to qualify because it's bullshit. :V
 
Viki, I know you're a mod, but can you lay off? -please don't ban me- This is a happy thread, and you're harshing the happy. I am so fucking tired of these gender/sex/whatever arguments.

Just be happy for Grim for becoming more comfortable with herself and just push off with the unhappy 'grrrr-ness'.
 
Viki said:
Please stop using 'female' and 'male' as nouns.

How exactly do you plan on IDing a room as belonging to a boy or a girl? Hint: it's probably hard to qualify because it's bullshit. :V
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I didn't say that it's not bullshit. It's the way most people's minds work, though. If you really wanted me to, though, I could qualify a room as female or male as would perceive society, with some confidence. Color would be a way to begin; the arrangement of things in the room could give hints; everything from the colour of the sheets to the kind of the wood the bed is made of. Note that these only work when there is one exclusive gender. Of course, there are neutral colours, neutral grains, neutral arrangements, etc.

oxford english dictionary said:
female
n adjective
1 of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs. Ørelating to or characteristic of women or female animals. Ø(of a plant or flower) having a pistil but no stamens.
2 (of a fitting) manufactured hollow so that a corresponding male part can be inserted.
n noun a female person, animal, or plant.
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EDIT: Yeah, if you want to continue the discussion, let's move it over to Gender.

Just curious, Grimdour, did you reveal this to anybody in real life yet?
 
bulbasaur said:
I didn't say that it's not bullshit. It's the way most people's minds work, though. If you really wanted me to, though, I could qualify a room as female or male as would perceive society, with some confidence. Color would be a way to begin; the arrangement of things in the room could give hints; everything from the colour of the sheets to the kind of the wood the bed is made of. Note that these only work when there is one exclusive gender. Of course, there are neutral colours, neutral grains, neutral arrangements, etc.


EDIT: Yeah, if you want to continue the discussion, let's move it over to Gender.
Click to expand...

Please do!



bulbasaur said:
Just curious, Grimdour, did you reveal this to anybody in real life yet?
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I think she already said that she was only doing this online for a while or something like that.
 
Hawke said:
Viki, I know you're a mod, but can you lay off? -please don't ban me- This is a happy thread, and you're harshing the happy. I am so fucking tired of these gender/sex/whatever arguments.

Just be happy for Grim for becoming more comfortable with herself and just push off with the unhappy 'grrrr-ness'.
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Personally I'd find being told to change my icon to SOMETHING PINK just because I'm changing pronouns infuriating! Now, I don't know if Grimdour was bothered by that or not, but either way that's a pretty rude thing to do and seeing that certainly harshed my happy. I'm happy for her being more comfortable with herself. I just also want people to just be happy for her being comfortable with herself and I would honestly not be surprised if she was bothered by that post and was unwilling to be confrontational about it. Because it's a thread about her being more comfortable with herself.
bulbasaur said:
[dictionarying]
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Oooh, I never realised that pulling a dictionary out made referring to women as females less rude! Thank you for enlightening me. --;


I'm sorry for getting argument in your thread, Grimdour, but I'm not sorry about speaking up. I wish you the best of luck :Db just ... I'd also like threads like this to be a safe space.
 
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