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You laugh you lose (aka POST ALL FUNNY STUFF HERE)

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Re: You laugh you lose

swimminglessonsrd7.jpg
 
Re: You laugh you lose

About a year ago I would have laughed my ass off at Light's swimming lessons. D:

Have not lost atm.
 
Re: You laugh you lose

^ @SSBB Pic - I've read that fanfic! XD

Yaay Brock Obama's back~

Two that someone who isn't me posted in the old thread and I saved because I thought they were great:

LOLChair.jpg


1201820102636.jpg


Inanimate objects with faces are so great X3
 
Re: You laugh you lose

Not pictures, but...:

Original creepypasta said:
In a small town of Georgia there was an old man who had no legs. The only way he could move around was by dragging himself around by his long, long, nails. He was also a killer. He would sneak around the town and kill people with his long, long, nails. So, because of this, the people were ordered to go inside at exactly 6:00 pm and lock their doors until he was caught.

One night a little girl asked her mom if she could go play at her friends house. The mother looked at the clock, it was 4:00pm. She told the little girl to be home by 5:45 because thats when "click-click" came out. The little girl agreed and was on her way. She played and played but lost track of time because when she headed home, it was already 5:48. By the time she was close to her home it was 6:00 pm. She observed people locking their doors and calling in there kids.

"Shoot, I'd better run" she thought. Finally she reached her street. But that's when she heard the noise...click click drag click click drag. It got louder and louder. She turned around and there he was, Click-Clack! She ran to her front door...click clack drag click clack drag... She pounded on the door but her Mother had fallen asleep...Click Clack Drag Click Clack Drag... The pounding stopped.

Upon waking, and forgetting that her daughter had gone out to play the last evening, Mother opened the door to get her newspaper. She screamed in horror at the sight. Written on the step in blood was, "Mother, why didn't you open the door?" She was never seen again...

This was posted on /x/. /x/philes bash the OP about the girl not being able to run from the legless man.

Then, one awesome /x/phile posts:

In any asylum in any town there was an old man who had no legs and black eyes. The only way he could move around was by dragging himself around by the bloody stubs of his severed arms. He was also a killer lol. He would sneak around the town and kill people with his long, long, optic nerves unless he got APPLES, once a day. So, because of this, the people were ordered to go inside at exactly 6:66 pm and lock their doors until he was caught, or they decided to leave him apples, or they shot him.

One night a little girl asked her mom if she could go play at her friends John's house. The mother looked at the clock, it was 4:00pm. She told the little girl to be home by 5:45 because thats when John became the demons. The little girl agreed and was on her way to see The Holder of the End. She played and played but lost track of time because she was actually a clockwork watch and needed winding; it was already 5:48. By the time she was close to her home it was 6:00 pm, and someone reached out to her from the inky blackness, but she said "nope, not ready". She observed people locking their doors and calling in their kids, as chupacabras began to run the streets and John became a zombie.


"Shoot, I'd better run" she thought. Finally she reached her street, and an old lady gave her a piece of paper to deliver to her friend. But that's when she heard the noise...click click drag click click drag. It got louder and louder until she realised that her watch was digital. She turned around and there he was, the shadow being! She ran to her front door and looked in the keyhole, but it was red...click clack drag click clack drag... She pounded on the door but her Mother had become frozen because she was watching static on the TV...Click Clack Drag Click Clack Drag... The pounding stopped.

Upon waking, and forgetting that her daughter had gone out to play the last evening, Mother opened the door to get the phone. She screamed in horror when she saw the birthmark. Written on the step in blood was, "We don't have a clown statue!" She was never phone again...
Then, even better:

THERE WAS ONCE A MONSTROUS OLD MAN WITH NO LIMBS OR EYES. HE WAS A SERIEL KILLER.
ONE DAY GIRL WAS OUTSIDE PLAYING - MOM SAID "COME BACK BY 6 THAT IS HURR DURR TIME" FOR THAT IS THE SOUND THAT MONSTROUS OLD MAN MAKES WHEN HE LIES ON THE FLOOR DROOLING.

THE GIRL WAS LATE FOR HOME AND THEN SHE HEARD IT "HURRR DURRRRRRRRRR" GETTING LOUDER "HURR DURRRRRR", SHE LOOKED BEHIND HER AND THERE HE WAS, LYING ON THE FLOOR, NOT DOING MUCH, DROOLING.

"OH GOD" THE GIRL SCREAMED BASHING HER FACE AND HANDS ON THE STEEL DOOR.
SHE BEGAN BLEEDING AND BROKE HER NOSE AND FACE, BUT CONTINUED FOR IT WAS HER LIFE SHE WAS SAVING, HER ENTIRE FACE AND ARMS PEELED OFF WHICH IS WHEN SHE DROPPED DEAD NEAR THE OLD MAN AND DIED.

THE POLICE ARRIVED 10 MINUTES LATER TO FIND THE OLD MAN LYING IN A POOL OF BLOOD AND THE DEAD GIRL WITH NO FACE BESIDE HIM
"MURDERER!, TAKE HIM AWAY"

AND THE TOWN WAS SAFE, END.
I couldn't stop lol'ing for a good ten minutes when I first read that one.

Then, even more parodies (the first one is decent at first):

Once upon a time, there was a small town in Georgia terrorized by a serial killer. Like any serial killer, this one had his idiosyncrasies. He would only strike after 6PM. So very quickly, a 6pm lockdown was imposed upon the entire town, to be lifted when this horrible killer was caught.

People get curious. Those that dared to peer out their windows after six reported seeing a skeletal old man dragging his legless body through the streets, accompanied by the eerie clicking of long fingernails that scrabbled and scratched across the pavement for purchase. Police patrols sent to apprehend the old man were found in the morning with their throats slashed and their legs ripped off.

Running low on manpower, the police gave up their manhunt and the residents of the town resigned themselves to live perpetually in fear of the crazed old man.

One night, a little girl was late getting home from a playdate. The worried mother stayed up, frantic for the safety of her little girl when she heard a soft scrabbling at the front door and a whispered "Let me in, mommy, before Mr. Click clack gets me" The woman rushed to the door and opened it, only to recieve the mutilated corpse of her daughter in her arms. Then two long-nailed hands clamped on the dead girl's arms and slowly, inexorably, pulled the legless body of the ancient serial killer over her body until he was face to face with the horrified mother.

"You're next," The old man whispered in the same high-pitched voice as her dead daughter and reached for the woman's face with his wizened claws.

Just then, the phone rang. And automatically, the woman picked up the phone and pressed it to her ear, listening intently for several seconds before turning to the old man, ashen-faced. "It's for you," she said. "They say they're your legs."

"Impossible!" The old man wheezed, nails clicking as he reached for the telephone, "My legs are dead!"

THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
Jennifer stood watching the clock. It was nearly closing time and she couldn't wait to close up the salon as she'd had a long day and her feet were aching. 5.58pm. "Come on, come on. I wanna go home." All her colleagues had finished their shifts but because she owned it, she always stayed longest, dealing with the latest appointments. 6pm. "Finally!" Jennifer put away the nail polish and cleared the surfaces.

CLICK CLACK DRAAAG
CLICK CLACK DRAAAG
CLICK CLACK DRAAAG

The sound was un-nervingly close and it made Jennifer go numb. Her breathing got heavier as she felt the chill in the air and the feeling of something being wrong. Jennifer turned around and screamed. A mere few feet away from her was the body of legless man, dragging himself closer and closer to her. His eyes were pale and sunken and they seemed to pull her in. Jennifer tried to back away and in her haste she tripped and fell, hard to the floor. She scrambled away.

"Don't hurt me!"

Jennifer didn't know what to do and as she backed into the wall, sobbing, waiting for what she believed to be her impending doom, the man closed in on her. He pulled himself so that his face was an inch from hers and the foul stench of his breath was almost impossible for her to bear.

"Sorry for being late, my appointment was at 5.30pm but this fucking town doesn't allow me out until 6pm for God knows what reason. My nails are in bad shape as you can see, so can you please just give them a cut and a file? And maybe a polish, I have a hot date with a woman with no arms tomorrow and I aim to please."
 
Re: You laugh you lose

Since Dannichu likes objects that look like faces so much:
Foto029.jpg
 
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