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Metallica Fanboy and エル vs The Omskivar and Lord of the Fireflies

Omski I thought we'd discuss strategy you silly.

OK.

Be a bitch.

UPROAR x3

Also, just to be sure, the clones are gone right? Since I did hit the spider with the Thunder Wave...
 
While Metallica played a guitar solo, the trainers passed on their commands. The referee noted that they contained something... questionable. As Metallica finished a strophe (Plague, darkness, three days long, hail to fire), the referee signaled for the Pokémon to prepare themselves. Rapidly after that, as the numerous fans cheered at Metallica, not at the battlers, in response to not the strategy and the intensity of the commands, but to the sick guitar licks, the referee waved his flags to mark the start of the round.

Pokémon

Team Some Small History
Metallica Fanboy (OO)
Active
Joltik
Hopkins
Joltik with ability Compoundeyes
Health:83%
Energy:85%
Status: Enjoying the music
Condition: Paralyzed (moderate, 20%), Speed +2
Screech@Icarus/Substitute (10%) ~ X-Scissor@Grockle/Substitute (10%)/Agility ~ Bug Buzz@Grockle/Substitute (10%)/Agility

エル. (OO)
Active
Squirtle
Squirtle
Squirtle with ability Torrent
Health:61%
Energy:83%
Status: Preparing for the round
Toxic @ Lotad ~ Brick Break @ Togepi ~ Brick Break / DynamicPunch @ Togepi

Team Thoughtcrime
Lord of the Fireflies (OO)
Active
Togepisoothe-bell
Icarus
Togepi with ability Serene Grace holding a Soothe Bell
Health:64%
Energy:96%
Status: Thinking about the implications of his commands
UPROAR~UPROAR~UPROAR

The Omskivar (OO)
Active
Lotad
Grockle
Lotad with ability Swift Swim
Health:65%
Energy:84%
Status: Asleep
Condition:Asleep (≤5 more actions)
Sleep Talk/Facade@Squirtle/Scald (sweep)~Sleep Talk/Counter~Sleep Talk/Facade@Joltik/Leech Seed@Squirtle


Round 2 begin!

As Metallica again entered the chorus, Hopkins attempted to open her mouth to let forth a Screech. However, she found that she could not. Dreading the worst, she tried again, harder this time. Her fears were confirmed, and she gave up on the commands for this round as he sat back and tried to loosen her muscles in time for the next round. Meanwhile, Squirtle produced some Toxins from somewhere inside him and spat them out at the prostrate form of Grockle, who took the attack without protest.

Icarus, who was busy enjoying the music - So let it be written, so let it be done; I'm sent here by the chosen one - focused now, and, thinking through his commands, looked back incredulously at his trainer. Lord of the Fireflies didn't get the hint, and so, sighing, Icarus, readied himself for the fucking-up he and his trainer would receive after the battle. Steeling his resolve (So let it be written, so let it be done), he went and blasted out an unholy cacophony to last until the rest of the song as loud as he could; rows and rows of fans turned his way and raised fingers in rude gestures while Lord of the Fireflies turned as red as a beet and slunk away in a corner and everyone struggled to hear the music - over Icarus, one could hear the conclusion of the chorus:

To kill the Pharaoh's first-born son
I'm creeping death!


Grockle, waking up, gave a long, hard stare at his alarm clock before preparing himself to retaliate any attack that may come.

Icarus had really fucking done it. Hopkins, intending to forcibly shut the little shit's mouth, trudged with all her might into the stream of sound. Preparing to X-Scissor the Togepi's mouth shut, she found himself bearing the full brunt of the Uproar. That, combined with the burning damage of Creeping Death, was enough to stop her and lock her body back into paralysis while Icarus continued to bitch around with his not-as-good-as-Metallica singing straight at her, causing her to miss some solo guitar licks.

And what sick licks did Hopkins miss! But no use crying over spilt milk; Squirtle, also enraged at the disruption of the music, landed three solid punches on Icarus which, unfortunately, did nothing at all to stop Icarus' loud inharmonious blend of notes which, in juxtaposition with Metallica, could not be called "music" at all. Presented with this new target, Icarus directed his clamour at Squirtle. Grockle, in the meanwhile, did the best he could to enjoy the music while being ready to Counter any strikes but was ultimately disappointed when none came. Then, with difficulty, one could make out Metallica merging into another motif and singing as the battlers felt the effect of the burns.

Die (die!) by my hand
I creep across the land
Killing first-born man;
Die (die!) by my hand
I creep across the land
Killing first-born man


Frustrated to no end, Hopkins just picked a target and prepared to fire a minimal-fuss attack, but then stopped herself, realizing that over Metallica and Icarus' singing, it would have no effect. So instead, she created a substitute in her own image, in the image of herself created she her; female created she her. And Hopkins blessed her. And Hopkins saw the Substitute that she had made, and, behold, it was very good. And on the seventh second Hopkins ended his work which she had made; and she rested on the seventh second and laid back and listened to Metallica.

I, Rule the midnight air, the destroyer
Born, I shall soon be there, deadly mass
I, Creep the steps and floor, final darkness
Blood, Lamb's blood painted door, I shall pass


Grockle, feeling poison seep into his system, responded with a full-out lash against Hopkins, drawing from the pent-up frustration of having acquired a status condition (admittedly not much at this point), but also from the frustration of his teammate's singing. At least it seemed like was drawing to a close, as Metallica sung the final strophe:

So let it be written,
So let it be done,
I'm sent here by the chosen one;


The blow struck Hopkins' Substitute, which Hopkins saw disintegrate before her very eyes. She glared at Grockle, who shrugged while maintaining his perpetual smile.

Unable to bear it anymore, Squirtle again gave three solid punches to Icarus in an attempt to get him to shut up. No such luck. Whatever, Metallica's song was nearly over - but Icarus had better stop before the next one.

So let it be written,
So let it be done,
To kill the Pharaoh's first-born son,
I'm Creeping Death!


Icarus was able to control himself just as Metallica finished singing. Finding himself before a screaming audience, he bowed modestly, not knowing who they were cheering for (hint: they were cheering for Metallica, not Icarus).

Round 2 end!


Damage and Energy Calculations

Action 1
Paralyzed: 1 energy (disrupted)
Toxic: 4 energy
Sleep Talk => Endure: 3 energy
Uproar @ Hopkins: 17 damage, 6 energy (critical)
Arena Damage: 3 damage to Hopkins, 1 damage to Squirtle, 6 damage to Icarus, 2 damage to Grockle

Action 2
Paralyzed: 1 energy
Brick Break: 10 damage, 6 energy
Uproar @ Squirtle: 10 damage, 6 energy
Counter: Failed, 2 energy
Arena Damage: 3 damage to Hopkins, 1 damage to Squirtle, 2 damage to Icarus, 2 damage to Grockle

Action 3
Substitute: -10 health, 5 energy
Brick Break: 10 damage, 6 energy
Facade: 12 (10) damage, 5 energy (substitute)
Uproar @ Squirtle: 17 damage, 6 energy (critical)
Badly Poisoned: 2 damage
Arena Damage: 3 damage to Hopkins, 1 damage to Squirtle, 2 damage to Icarus, 2 damage to Grockle

Pokémon

Team Some Small History
Metallica Fanboy (OO)
Active
Joltik
Hopkins
Joltik with ability Compoundeyes
Health:47%
Energy:79%
Status: Really, really annoyed
Condition: Paralyzed (moderate, 20%), Speed +2
Paralyzed ~ Paralyzed ~ Substitute (10)

エル. (OO)
Active
Squirtle
Squirtle
Squirtle with ability Torrent
Health:31%
Energy:67%
Status: Satisfied
Condition: Torrent Activated
Toxic @ Grockle ~ Brick Break @ Icarus ~ Brick Break @ Icarus

Team Thoughtcrime
Lord of the Fireflies (OO)
Active
Togepisoothe-bell
Icarus
Togepi with ability Serene Grace holding a Soothe Bell
Health:34%
Energy:78%
Status: Really, really confused
Uproar~Uproar~Uproar

The Omskivar (OO)
Active
Lotad
Grockle
Lotad with ability Swift Swim
Health:57%
Energy:74%
Status: Feeling better now
Condition: Badly Poisoned (2% this round, 3% next)
Sleep Talk => Endure ~ Failed ~ Facade @ Hopkins


Notes:
  • Uproar on actions 1 and 3 were critical. What have you been doing to the RNG's, LotF?
  • Forgive my depiction of Uproar and its effects
  • Hopkins was completely incapacitated on action 1 and completely paralyzed on action 2. Likewise, what have you been doing to the RNG's, Metallica Fanboy?
  • Grockle's Sleep Talk called up Endure
  • Sorry for the unusual amounts of swearing

Arena Notes:
  • Song was Creeping Death; will change in between this round and the next

Next round:
  1. Team Thoughtcrime commands
  2. Team Some Small History commands
  3. I ref (or Skyman takes over)
 
Last edited:
Likewise, what have you been doing to the RNG's, Metallica Fanboy?
I don't know! I've been feeding him and keeping him in shape just like the rest of the team, but he always wants more. He's gonna have to learn to share if he's going to stay in a growing squad like mine.

Also, Lord of the Fireflies, your irresponsible commands made us miss the part where everybody yells DIE. I expect compensantion.
 
sorry

Hey, by the way, Bug Buzz should have failed! Uproar drowns every other sound-based moves (And it was part of the reason why Uproar was such an evident move to make at that point).

Commands later!
 
Grockle! Giga Drain! And do try to enjoy the music; get into some moshing if you want to. In fact, if any Fighting attacks come at Icarus, I want you to just jump in front of them and take them like a boss. Then continue with Giga Draining. It'll be fun. Just drain away! At Squirtle of course. Who else?

If at any time Squirtle Protects, set up a Double Team. If you ever have clones active, make sure you're either switching them around constantly a la the three-cup-and-a-stone game, or that you've withdrawn as far as you can underneath your lily pads (make sure you can still see!) so as to hide your shadow, since that makes Double Team a dead giveaway.

If you see him waiting for you to attack, that means a Mirror Coat, generally; in that case, use Swords Dance.

Giga Drain @ Squirtle/Double Team/Swords Dance x3
 
Alright Icarus. Begin with a Yawn at Hopkins, or a Telekinesis at Squirtle if she Protects, Subs or uses Double Team. On the second action, blast a Flamethrower at her (sweep it around if there are clones) if the Yawn failed, but try a Nasty Plot if it worked. Finish with Dream Eater on the spider if she's asleep, Flamethrower if she's not and Swift if you can't do anything else. On the first two actions, Magic Coat away any Yawns.

Yawn@Hopkins / Telekinesis@Squirtle / Magic Coat ~ Flamethrower@Hopkins / Nasty Plot / Magic Coat ~ Dream Eater@Hopkins / Flamethrower@Hopkins / Swift

P.S. Always stay close to Grockle!
 
Okay, use Hydro Pump on Icarus until Grockle is paralyzed. Then use Focus Punch once, and after that switch to Brick Break.

(Hydro Pump / Focus Punch / Brick Break) @ Icarus x3
 
First things first, Hopkins, we need that silly duckplant away from his little buddy. He surely won't make it if he's slowed down significantly -- by, for example, paralysis. Which is what we're going with; try and get him with a Thunder Wave.

If you get Grockle paralyzed right away, Struggle Bug his ass into submission so your partner won't have too rough a time; if didn't manage at your first try but did at the second, then help out with kicking eggman's ass -- cry for Thunder

Thunder Wave@Grockle ~ Struggle Bug@Grockle/Thunder Wave@Grockle ~ Struggle Bug@Grockle/Thunder@Icarus/Thunder Wave@Grockle
 
The trainers took advantage of this break between songs to give their battlers commands for the next round. Of course, they were full of uncertainty, as the referee was the only one with enough sense to have actually obtained a copy of Metallica's program beforehand. And was evil enough to withhold this information from the trainers, who were having difficulty passing on their orders. But Metallica was preparing for their next tune, which the referee thought would be a good time to start the round. He waved his flags up (to the dismay of concert-goers nearby) and readied the Pokémon, and anticipated Metallica's first note before dropping his flags.


Pokémon

Team Some Small History
Metallica Fanboy (OO)
Active
Joltik
Hopkins
Joltik with ability Compoundeyes
Health:47%
Energy:79%
Status: Still annoyed
Condition: Paralyzed (moderate, 20%), Speed +2
Thunder Wave@Grockle ~ Struggle Bug@Grockle/Thunder Wave@Grockle ~ Struggle Bug@Grockle/Thunder@Icarus/Thunder Wave@Grockle

エル. (OO)
Active
Squirtle
Squirtle
Squirtle with ability Torrent
Health:31%
Energy:67%
Status: Ready
Condition: Torrent Activated
(Hydro Pump / Focus Punch / Brick Break) @ Icarus~(Hydro Pump / Focus Punch / Brick Break) @ Icarus~(Hydro Pump / Focus Punch / Brick Break) @ Icarus

Team Thoughtcrime
Lord of the Fireflies (OO)
Active
Togepisoothe-bell
Icarus
Togepi with ability Serene Grace holding a Soothe Bell
Health:34%
Energy:78%
Status: Somewhat less confused
Yawn@Hopkins / Telekinesis@Squirtle / Magic Coat ~ Flamethrower@Hopkins / Nasty Plot / Magic Coat ~ Dream Eater@Hopkins / Flamethrower@Hopkins / Swift

The Omskivar (OO)
Active
Lotad
Grockle
Lotad with ability Swift Swim
Health:57%
Energy:74%
Status: Feeling okay-ish
Condition: Badly Poisoned (2% this round, 3% next)
Giga Drain @ Squirtle/Double Team/Swords Dance ~ Giga Drain @ Squirtle/Double Team/Swords Dance~Giga Drain @ Squirtle/Double Team/Swords Dance


Round 3 begin!

This song had quite a different atmosphere from the previous one. Starting out with a series of rapid cymbal beats and repeated guitar notes, it wasn't as melodic as Creeping Death, but quickly established a rhythmic pattern and launched into a motif.

Hopkins saw that the others seemed to be distracted by Metallica for the instant; making the most of this, she decided to fire a Thunder Wave at Grockle, who had recovered from the beginning of the song and was moving closer to Icarus before being hit with the yellow wave of electricity. Struggling back to his feet, he found it difficult to move, but struggled to Icarus' side, step by step.

Squirtle, unnoticed since the beginning, suddenly snapped open his eyes, emerged from his focus (it is unknown how he stayed focussed with all the guitar riffs around him), and launched a punch at Icarus - which Grockle failed to intercept, having not had enough time to make it to Icarus. Felled by this mighty blow, he got back up and was about to let loose a Yawn - before hearing Metallica's first words (If I could have my wasted days back, would I use them to get back on track) and deciding to reflect profoundly about the subject:
Stop to warm at karmas burning
Or look ahead, but keep on turning?


But Hopkins, concerned more about wasted seconds during battle than wasted days during the rest of her life, acted quickly with a curious move: she shot projectiles of Bug energy in all directions, afflicting their targets with a sense of discomfort and awkwardness. Icarus was in particular affected by this - and when Squirtle came along preparing a punch, he Frantically tried to hide behind Grockle, only to find out that Grockle was meditating on the song's meaning :
Do I have the strength to know how I'll go?
Can I find it inside to deal with what I shouldn't know?


And Icarus sure did know how would go. He felt the blow - not as powerful as the first one this round, but enough to knock him out cold - and heard Metallica singing, through his failing hearing,
Could I have my wasted days back
Would I use them to get back on track?

before he passed out and the referee stopped the battle.

Round 3 end!


Damage and Energy Calculations

Action 1
Thunder Wave: 4 energy
Focus Punch: 20 damage, 7 energy
Giga Drain: 12 damage, 6 energy, + 6 health

Action 2
Struggle Bug: 5 damage to Grockle, 6 damage to Icarus, 3 energy
Brick Break: 10 damage, 6 energy
Badly Poisoned: 3 damage

Pokémon

Team Some Small History
Metallica Fanboy (OO)
Active
Joltik
Hopkins
Joltik with ability Compoundeyes
Health:47%
Energy:72%
Status: Pondering about the song's meaning
Condition: Paralyzed (moderate, 20%), Speed +2
Thunder Wave @ Grockle~Struggle Bug

エル. (OO)
Active
Squirtle
Squirtle
Squirtle with ability Torrent
Health:19%
Energy:54%
Status: Alright! Oblivious to his condition
Condition: Torrent Activated
Focus Punch @ Icarus ~ Brick Break @ Icarus

Team Thoughtcrime
Lord of the Fireflies (XO)
Active
Togepisoothe-bell
Icarus
Togepi with ability Serene Grace holding a Soothe Bell
Health:0%
Energy:78%
Status: Knocked out
Failed

The Omskivar (OO)
Active
Lotad
Grockle
Lotad with ability Swift Swim
Health:55%
Energy:68%
Status: Aghast at the loss of his teammate
Condition: Badly Poisoned (3% this round, 4% next), Sp. Atk -1, Paralyzed (Severe, 25%)
Giga Drain @ Squirtle


Notes:
  • Struggle Bug was a critical hit against Icarus
  • Both Struggle Bugs lowered Grockle's Special Attack
  • No Flamethrower caused a burn
  • Icarus was in profound introspection on action 1
  • Because Grockle was paralyzed, he would have had difficulty intercepting his teammate Icarus (that is, no other move on the same action)
  • Since he had the equivalent of four commands each action, unfortunately, he acted randomly.
  • It's sort of useless, on my scale, to pick a target for Struggle Bug

Arena Notes:
  • Song was Frantic; will be the same next round

Next round:
  1. Lord of the Fireflies sends out
  2. Team Some Small History commands
  3. Team Thoughtcrime commands
  4. I ref (or Skyman takes over)
 
Last edited:
Well, I guess Icarus is definitely not getting back on track.

You've been doing your homework, eh, bulbasaur? Pretty nice job with the reffing there.
 
So because of the paralysis, the "defend Icarus" was counted as a conditional? That...sort of makes sense I guess. Oh well, at least we got a Giga Drain off.

Frantic is probably one of my least favorite Metallica songs out of the ones I'm familiar with.

Also, Grockle is not paralyzed at the moment?
 
Looks like we command first as well. So, Grockle, just keep Giga Draining Squirtle. You're already the slowest one the field, so it can't hurt to observe before you move. If Squirtle is knocked out for whatever reason, start Scalding Hopkins. If Hopkins makes any maneuver to block your attack, hopefully you'll have time to switch to Scald; if Hopkins hits you with a Physical attack, use Counter.

I'm not going to do anything this round due to paralysis and Frantic am I

Giga Drain/Scald/Counter x3
 
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