Phoenixsong
beep beep coming through
- Pronoun
- she/they/any
Leaf never really bothered thinking about death. Not a lot of fun, to start off. Nobody wanted to die. Nobody wanted to have to leave everything behind for something different, or maybe for nothing at all. It happens anyway, whether you want it to or not, so you've got to accept it at some point, she supposed. But why waste time worrying about it? Why make yourself sad about the future when you could just... live? Whenever it does all come screeching to a stop, well, at least you did and enjoyed everything you had time to. It was just good sense to focus on that, really.
It wasn't going to "just stop" for her, anyway. Not anytime soon. She was still just a kid, had the whole world in front of her. She knew how to take care of herself. She could definitely take care of herself here. Dwelling on what might happen maybe someday somewhere else didn't matter, didn't help. There was no point thinking about it when she had better things to do right now.
But the song was everywhere, its weight inescapable. Fear and aching sadness gnawed at her heart, not for herself, that didn't matter yet, but...
No, Leaf didn't usually think about death. Wasn't like that was hard to do, even. But right now, with the song filling her ears and her head and every inch of her, she remembered that there could've been a future where her heart was broken.
She remembered what her dad had said, too. You could've drowned. No father wants to lose his daughter. I don't want to lose you. What if Tank had managed to find him, fish him out of the water and bring him back safe, but hadn't found her. She remembered hearing the panic and relief in her mother's voice, even through the anger, as they'd argued about Team Rocket. What if Archer's pokémon had cornered her before backup got there, if the room had filled with poison and fire and the cops hadn't found a little heroine but a body. Even Blue, eternally stressed out just by being here, had only come because he'd thought she was in danger, because he'd thought the alternative was never knowing what had happened to his friend at all. Leaf remembered that there could've been a future where their hearts were broken instead, and she understood, and she was sorry.
She didn't regret it, though.
The last notes of the song settled, and as the weight of sorrow lifted it finally left some room to take a breath. Understanding what you're risking doesn't mean it's not worth risking. Just means you better be real damn sure that what you're doing's gonna count. And right now, here on Forlas, where their presence was only temporary anyway, where they literally had nothing to lose while the pokémon here could lose everything, now was the time to take that risk. This counted.
Leaf blinked away the last of the tears, closed her eyes, and, as Shadow and Radiance roiled through her like an electric charge, remembered the storm. Rolling black clouds on a black night. Thunder roaring like a wild pokémon staring down an intruder, because it belonged here and she didn't. Shouting for all the world to hear that it demands respect, and if respect is not given then it will be taken. Light lancing through the sky. A moment of perfect clarity in the dark. A golden shape (or was it orange?), stark against the gloom. Watching. A challenge to prove that no one could hold her back any more than they could the lightning.
Come closer, if you dare. Face me, if you're worthy.
I do. I am. I will.
It wasn't going to "just stop" for her, anyway. Not anytime soon. She was still just a kid, had the whole world in front of her. She knew how to take care of herself. She could definitely take care of herself here. Dwelling on what might happen maybe someday somewhere else didn't matter, didn't help. There was no point thinking about it when she had better things to do right now.
But the song was everywhere, its weight inescapable. Fear and aching sadness gnawed at her heart, not for herself, that didn't matter yet, but...
It was so close. Perched right there, just a little ways up, watching them. Watching her. She could reach it, the rain was getting heavier but she knew she could, just to see what it wanted, what it would do. If she could just climb up there with her team, maybe it would even...
"Wait!" She could barely hear Dad over the rain and the river. (But she was so close, it was right there, this was her chance to show it what they could do. He must not have seen it yet; otherwise he'd surely understand.) "Please, Leaf, come back down! The storm's getting worse. We need to get back to the pokémon center!" (It was a long hike back anyway. Wasn't like they'd get any less wet. They were already here. What would it hurt, just for a closer look, for a shot at proving herself to a legend?) He pulled himself tentatively up onto the rocks below her, trying to keep pace before she was out of earshot entirely. "Leaf!" he tried again, loud as he could. "Please! We have to—"
The rock faces and scraggly mountain underbrush looked plenty rugged, handholds and braces for days, but the sheets of rain left it all slick as ice. There was a shout. The crashing and scraping of something heavy tumbling down. A splash, just one, horrifyingly clear even over the roaring current.
"Dad!"
No time for worrying about climbing, or legends, or thinking. She threw herself into the water after him, had to find him, where was he, where— there, thank god, over there, fighting to keep his head above the surface. "Dad!" she shouted again, but water filled his mouth before he could shout back. Then the current sucked him back under and he vanished downstream (no no no no), and then it didn't matter that she couldn't see him at the surface because it was too strong, too fast, and it pulled her under, too.
She didn't know whether she'd called Tank out herself, desperate for help (she couldn't reach him couldn't fight the current couldn't breathe but Tank could do it he had to do it someone had to save him please), or if he'd sensed danger on his own. The storm didn't care. It ripped her away from the wartortle the second he'd materialized. (Alone, she was alone, they'd been taken away from her, Tank might be okay but Dad needed her, she had to find him had to get him out get him back but she couldn't she couldn't what if she never saw him again. No promises they'd go to the movies when he got home, no picking out cards to send and running out of space to write down everything that'd happened while he'd been gone, no going along to pick him up at the airport after a long work trip and running to meet him at the terminal, no staying up late to play games and seeing him smile as she beat him or maybe he let her win it didn't matter because they were together, no anything no anything no anything—)
Something massive slammed into her back, smashing the last of her breath out of her lungs. But as just soon as the force pushed her down a set of thick claws dug into her arm, and with an almighty lurch and another juddering impact she was above water again. The current roared and churned around her but not over her as she clung to the broad, solid object she'd been thrown onto. She could breathe but she was exhausted and she couldn't think except that he still wasn't here where was he what if he was gone—
The solid thing let out a roar of its own and shot downriver on a massive jet of water, faster even than the storm-swollen rapids. Another grab and heave and something else flew up and out and landed next to her with a heavy squelch. Then the thing lurched again, whipping to the side so quickly that it skipped like a stone out of the river and up the bank before it crashed into a battered chain link fence.
Not much really registered, at first. Firm, motionless earth underneath her. Cold and wet so pervasive she couldn't even feel the downpour anymore. The sound of two people gasping and coughing up water. (Took her a second to realize one of them was her. But it wasn't only her.) More movement, huge arms hauling them up off the ground as Tank (when had he gotten so big?) bundled them both through a break in the fence and up the hill toward a shape looming out of the dark. (Both of them, both of them.) But once he broke into the abandoned building and set them down out of the rain, Leaf threw her arms around her dad, and he grabbed her and pulled her in close, and they didn't let go for a long, long time.
Dad tried to tell her that she shouldn't have done that, shouldn't have gone in after him. Which was stupid. Of course she should have. He'd needed help. Why wouldn't she try to help him? (Especially when it was her fault.) If nobody had helped, then— then— But she could've drowned, he insisted. No father wants to lose his daughter. But she didn't, she shot back. She didn't, and neither did he. She was okay, and he was okay, and that was the only thing that mattered.
But what if he hadn't been. What if Tank hadn't pulled him out of the river. What if the storm had just washed him away. What if he had died. It could have happened. It could have happened. It could have happened.
"Wait!" She could barely hear Dad over the rain and the river. (But she was so close, it was right there, this was her chance to show it what they could do. He must not have seen it yet; otherwise he'd surely understand.) "Please, Leaf, come back down! The storm's getting worse. We need to get back to the pokémon center!" (It was a long hike back anyway. Wasn't like they'd get any less wet. They were already here. What would it hurt, just for a closer look, for a shot at proving herself to a legend?) He pulled himself tentatively up onto the rocks below her, trying to keep pace before she was out of earshot entirely. "Leaf!" he tried again, loud as he could. "Please! We have to—"
The rock faces and scraggly mountain underbrush looked plenty rugged, handholds and braces for days, but the sheets of rain left it all slick as ice. There was a shout. The crashing and scraping of something heavy tumbling down. A splash, just one, horrifyingly clear even over the roaring current.
"Dad!"
No time for worrying about climbing, or legends, or thinking. She threw herself into the water after him, had to find him, where was he, where— there, thank god, over there, fighting to keep his head above the surface. "Dad!" she shouted again, but water filled his mouth before he could shout back. Then the current sucked him back under and he vanished downstream (no no no no), and then it didn't matter that she couldn't see him at the surface because it was too strong, too fast, and it pulled her under, too.
She didn't know whether she'd called Tank out herself, desperate for help (she couldn't reach him couldn't fight the current couldn't breathe but Tank could do it he had to do it someone had to save him please), or if he'd sensed danger on his own. The storm didn't care. It ripped her away from the wartortle the second he'd materialized. (Alone, she was alone, they'd been taken away from her, Tank might be okay but Dad needed her, she had to find him had to get him out get him back but she couldn't she couldn't what if she never saw him again. No promises they'd go to the movies when he got home, no picking out cards to send and running out of space to write down everything that'd happened while he'd been gone, no going along to pick him up at the airport after a long work trip and running to meet him at the terminal, no staying up late to play games and seeing him smile as she beat him or maybe he let her win it didn't matter because they were together, no anything no anything no anything—)
Something massive slammed into her back, smashing the last of her breath out of her lungs. But as just soon as the force pushed her down a set of thick claws dug into her arm, and with an almighty lurch and another juddering impact she was above water again. The current roared and churned around her but not over her as she clung to the broad, solid object she'd been thrown onto. She could breathe but she was exhausted and she couldn't think except that he still wasn't here where was he what if he was gone—
The solid thing let out a roar of its own and shot downriver on a massive jet of water, faster even than the storm-swollen rapids. Another grab and heave and something else flew up and out and landed next to her with a heavy squelch. Then the thing lurched again, whipping to the side so quickly that it skipped like a stone out of the river and up the bank before it crashed into a battered chain link fence.
Not much really registered, at first. Firm, motionless earth underneath her. Cold and wet so pervasive she couldn't even feel the downpour anymore. The sound of two people gasping and coughing up water. (Took her a second to realize one of them was her. But it wasn't only her.) More movement, huge arms hauling them up off the ground as Tank (when had he gotten so big?) bundled them both through a break in the fence and up the hill toward a shape looming out of the dark. (Both of them, both of them.) But once he broke into the abandoned building and set them down out of the rain, Leaf threw her arms around her dad, and he grabbed her and pulled her in close, and they didn't let go for a long, long time.
Dad tried to tell her that she shouldn't have done that, shouldn't have gone in after him. Which was stupid. Of course she should have. He'd needed help. Why wouldn't she try to help him? (Especially when it was her fault.) If nobody had helped, then— then— But she could've drowned, he insisted. No father wants to lose his daughter. But she didn't, she shot back. She didn't, and neither did he. She was okay, and he was okay, and that was the only thing that mattered.
But what if he hadn't been. What if Tank hadn't pulled him out of the river. What if the storm had just washed him away. What if he had died. It could have happened. It could have happened. It could have happened.
No, Leaf didn't usually think about death. Wasn't like that was hard to do, even. But right now, with the song filling her ears and her head and every inch of her, she remembered that there could've been a future where her heart was broken.
She remembered what her dad had said, too. You could've drowned. No father wants to lose his daughter. I don't want to lose you. What if Tank had managed to find him, fish him out of the water and bring him back safe, but hadn't found her. She remembered hearing the panic and relief in her mother's voice, even through the anger, as they'd argued about Team Rocket. What if Archer's pokémon had cornered her before backup got there, if the room had filled with poison and fire and the cops hadn't found a little heroine but a body. Even Blue, eternally stressed out just by being here, had only come because he'd thought she was in danger, because he'd thought the alternative was never knowing what had happened to his friend at all. Leaf remembered that there could've been a future where their hearts were broken instead, and she understood, and she was sorry.
She didn't regret it, though.
The last notes of the song settled, and as the weight of sorrow lifted it finally left some room to take a breath. Understanding what you're risking doesn't mean it's not worth risking. Just means you better be real damn sure that what you're doing's gonna count. And right now, here on Forlas, where their presence was only temporary anyway, where they literally had nothing to lose while the pokémon here could lose everything, now was the time to take that risk. This counted.
Leaf blinked away the last of the tears, closed her eyes, and, as Shadow and Radiance roiled through her like an electric charge, remembered the storm. Rolling black clouds on a black night. Thunder roaring like a wild pokémon staring down an intruder, because it belonged here and she didn't. Shouting for all the world to hear that it demands respect, and if respect is not given then it will be taken. Light lancing through the sky. A moment of perfect clarity in the dark. A golden shape (or was it orange?), stark against the gloom. Watching. A challenge to prove that no one could hold her back any more than they could the lightning.
Come closer, if you dare. Face me, if you're worthy.
I do. I am. I will.
Leaf (227 STM, 13 TMP, +1 SPD, +4 ACC, 0 SHD, 0 RAD)
- Walk to Jackal's Precipice [Defiant active, Loner active]
- Swords Dance (-18 STM, +2 TMP)
- **Act:** RADIANT Focus (Awaken) (+5 TMP)
- AGILE RADIANT Thunderous Kick @ Powehi (-40.5 STM, +5 TMP, +24 RAD)
- CRITICAL Thunderous Kick @ Powehi (-27 STM, -15 TMP, +5 TMP)
- CRITICAL Shining Stormlance @ Powehi (-40 STM, -10 TMP, +5 TMP, +36 RAD)
Net change: -118 STM, -3 TMP, +30 SHD, +80 RAD
Net totals: 109 STM (184 after regen), 10 TMP, 30 SHD, 80 RAD
- Walk to Jackal's Precipice [Defiant active, Loner active]
- Swords Dance (-18 STM, +2 TMP)
- **Act:** RADIANT Focus (Awaken) (+5 TMP)
- AGILE RADIANT Thunderous Kick @ Powehi (-40.5 STM, +5 TMP, +24 RAD)
- CRITICAL Thunderous Kick @ Powehi (-27 STM, -15 TMP, +5 TMP)
- CRITICAL Shining Stormlance @ Powehi (-40 STM, -10 TMP, +5 TMP, +36 RAD)
Net change: -118 STM, -3 TMP, +30 SHD, +80 RAD
Net totals: 109 STM (184 after regen), 10 TMP, 30 SHD, 80 RAD
Blue (Aux)
- Rogue @ Powehi [-1 Atk; proc Hex Resist]
- Rogue @ Powehi [-1 Atk; proc Hex Resist]
- Blue
- Anubis
- Lyra
- Silver
- Leaf
- Koa
- Anubis
- Lyra
- Silver
- Leaf
- Koa