A Golden Nuzlocke

[DarkAura]

Welcome to my Nuzlocke of:

Yes, Pokemon Gold! Enjoy the adventures of "..."!

Spoiler: First, Rules:

1) Catch only the first Pokemon in each route
1a) This rule starts once I get Pokeballs
2) If a Pokemon faints, it dies and must never be used again.
3) Dupes clause on
4) Shiny clause on
5) Nickname every Pokemon. The theme will become apparent as this goes on.

Now let's start.

Spoiler: Chapter 1: Of Bites and Men

Hello there.
*snoooore*
A heavy sleeper, I see. *clap*

How imbecilic.
Excuse me?
What kind of professor falls to sleep on the job?
Uh, young man? I had absolutely no idea we were doing the interview today. and can you please back off of my bed?
Your age is getting the best of you, Oak. Shall we resume?
Ah, yes. Very well then, Allow me to introduce mys- wait... How did you...
The introductions, please?

But... didn't you already know that?
Hmm?
You just called me Oak a second ago before I said it.
Your age, professor. Please, for the sake of your job, work on your memory. I said nothing of the sort.
What the... Erhum...! Well then, you know my name. What's yours?

You do not deserve to have any inkling my name. For now, you'll call me ellipses, or "...".
Uh... very well then...

-is about to unfold. Really Oak. Put some more effort when speaking, because you're just sounding repetitive now.
Young man, er, ellipses, you don't know who you're talking t-
Your name is Samuel Oak, your best friend was Gary Hardy, who died in the Kanto war twenty years back, and so you named your grandson Gary to honor his name. I know much more than you think, and I know exactly who I am talking to.
...
Yes, that's my name.
Hmph! Just... just start your journey kid.
Gladly.

Ah yes, my "room". It's really Crystal's room, though I'm afraid she's unable to occupy this here room. I have taken her place, so to speak.

What're you doing here? And... why'd you come out of Crystal's room? Where's Crystal?
My my, Mrs. Meth. Don't you remember? Crystal had perished a week ago in the forest fire. You remember, don't you?
Oh... yes... yes, that's right... That still doesn't explain why you were in her room.
Oh, but it's my room. How could you forget?
Right... right, I keep forgetting. You're going on a journey, right?
Of course.
Then take this PokeGear. It just came back from the shop. You can use it as a phone, radio, and map.
How quaint.

I shall be taking my leave now, Mother
Mmm, take care sweetie!
Oblivious pawn...

I have quite a good feeling about this. I shall start my journey the moment I get my Pokemon from Elm. But, as much as I love a good journey, I simply can't go around here without looking around this setting first.

I was merely staring at the entire town, absorbing the information and architecture.
Get lost. *kick*
Ow... hmph! Ungrateful welch! He has just gotten on my list.

Yes, here I am. Were you expecting me?
You kiddin'? I've been waiting for you all week! Listen, a buddy of my, Mr. Pokemon, has an egg for me, and I need someone to get it for me. Would you go and get it?
Another errand? Really?
I'll give you one of my starter Pokemon.
Very well then. Now to choose...

This one.
You sure? That guy's got some crazy sharp teeth!
I am positive.
Uh, hi?
Hello there. You are my new Pokemon.
Oh, that's nice. And would you mind talking correctly?
There is no correct way. Only unique ways. And wrong ways.
Great, I get the creepy child.
Hey, wanna give a nickname to it?
It? whatever. My name's-
Arthur
Huh? No, it's-

Arthur. That's final.
Wha...? Goddammit.
You know what to do then, right?
Of course. Get the egg and give it to you. I see nothing to misinterpret.
Good. Have fun!
There will be no promises.
Just fucking great. I was the best behaved out of the three, and I get this loser?

I mean, Coal was always the strongest and the most annoying, so why didn't he pick Coal? I can get not picking Razz, but why me? Why?! WH- Fffffffaaaah...!
Any more complaints? Or would another stomp to the tail be pleasure to you?
What the hell?! Why did you go and stomp my tail?!
You are mine now. And since you belong to me, I have quite a few rules.
If you complain, a stomp to the tail.
If you do not train when you should, a cut to the hand.
If you refuse to fight, a stomp to the tail and a cut to the hand.
If you faint in battle, you will die.
D-die?
Did I stutter? You faint, you die.
B-but... how?!
Would you like me to demonstrate?
No! Nope!
Good. I'm perfectly alright if you do something that doesn't break the rules, however, so that is a positive addition to you, no?
Yeah...
Good. Now we must get going. I would like to get this errand out of the way and get to this journey already.

 

[Keldeo]

Nice! The screenshots are a little big, though.

 

[Dar]

You're the best trainer ever!

 

[DarkAura]

I know Absoul; That's because I don't have an emulator and have to play this as a flash game, which is muuuuuch bigger.

And thanks Dar!

Spoiler: Chapter 2: The Tail Of Despair-o

Ah, Route 29. This marks the start of our journey, Arthur.
Weren't we going to start it after this errand?
This will mark the start of our journey, Arthur. Is that better?
Uh, yeah.
Now then, Arthur, I must teach you how to battle.
You kidding? I know all about battling!
Oh?

Then how would you defeat this Pidgey?
Scratch it, duh.
No, Arthur.

You must lower its defense by using Leer first. Then you will be able to use Scratch to its full effect.
But it wastes a turn!
Think of it this way: If it takes three normal scratches to defeat it, and one leer plus two scratches, they're both three turns. Why not be tactical with those three turns?
Guess you're right...

Alright! I did it!
Very good.

Huh? That's strange. I feel stronger.
That is what's known as leveling up. You are now level six, and you have become stronger because of it.
Oh, cool!
I've taught you the basics as of now, so let's head out to Cherrygrove.

What a quaint little town.
Yeah, it's pretty little.
Which makes it much easier to navigate through. Why, I even see Route 30 already!
*goes through the route*

Yes, I am "..."
Elm told me a feisty young trainer would come by!
He really said feisty? Er, yes, he was right. I came. The egg, please?
Oh, yes, yes! Here you go!
Thank you. Arthur, hold the egg.
Hrrf! Man! This thing's heavy!
It will only be for a few minutes, Arthur.
Fiiiiine.
Now then, Mr. Pokemon, was it? I assure you I will bring this egg to Professor Elm.
Thanks a bunch! You know, it's a Pokemon egg!
I would have never guessed.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell with the way you talk.
The DayCare couple makes eggs for a living.

No, really! Thy usually never give out eggs that aren't from the original owner, but they made an exception for me since I'm Mr. Pokemon.
I see. I have been meaning to ask...
Hmm?
What is Professor Oak doing here?
Ah, he's here to examine the egg. It truly is a special egg!

Mr. Pokemon: Hey, Professor Oak! Come here!
Oak: Yes?
Mr. Pokemon: This here's the trainer Elm sent!
Oak: Oh, of course! And what might your... name... be...
My name is "...".
Oak: Haven't we... haven't we met before?
Hmm? I assure you, you are a new face to me.
Oak: Hrr...

I said that, did I not?
Oh hush. It's just formalities.
Hey asshats, my arms are getting tired.
Formalities, of course. And what is your profession?

I see. Your profession is being a professor?
Uh, yeah. Look...

...but you are one freaky son of a bitch. *sigh* Nevertheless, if Elm sent you, you must be capable to put this into good use. *hands it over*
This is a Pokedex, correct?
Correct! Wow, you actually know what it is! Let me tell you what it is...

You can look up anything about nearly any Pokemon!
This seems quite nice. Thank you very much.
Hey, it's no problem. But you better get that egg to Elm!

Oak: *leaves*
Mr. Pokemon: Well, what are you waiting for? Get going Ellipses!
Very well then. Hand me back the egg, Arthur.
Fucking finally. *hands it over* That thing's heavy!
Rest assured, you won't be holding it anymore. I shall put this in my pack so no one has to carry it.
You... could've done that this whole time? I'd do something, but I'm too tired to.
I did not want to make it seem like I did not care about the egg infront of the t-
RING RING
Ah, my Pokegear, I presume? I must be getting a call.
Change the ringtone. That shit is blaring.
Oh, quiet. Ahem. Hello?
"..."! I-It's a disaster!
What's wrong?
I-It's...!*bzzt* You gotta *bzzt* back he- *bzzt* -ow! *bzzt*
Professor? Professor Elm? I think it hung up! Arthur! No time for our journey now. We must go see what happened to Elm!
'Kay.

Please step aside sir. I am in a hurry.
You don't recognize me, do you?
What do you... you. You are the one on my list.
Really? A list? And what kind of horrible thing will you do with me on your list, huh?
I wo-
Oh, is that a Totodile?

Of course.
What a waste. A wimp like you doesn't deserve a cool Pokemon like that.
Excuse me?
I'm awesome? Hot damn, yeah!
Don't you see what I'm saying?
I see that you're being a rather harsh individual who is, quite blatantly, a dick.
That's not what I mean.
But it is true, no?

...you poser
What?
I am the only one who has a name made of ending marks.
Oh, but this is my real name.
Tauros. No one would give a name like that to their child. "..." is my name because no one deserves to know my real name. And I think everyone deserves to know your name, don't you think?
Get real. You think I'd give my name to someone like you?
I'd imagine so.
Hmph! Whatever. Let's battle.
With pleasure. Arthur, go on up.
With pleasure! Man, I can't wait to see what this kid has. A Pidgey? Rattata? Whatever. I can take them all!

Wha- Razz?
Hey.
...pfft.
What's so funny?
You said a wimp like me doesn't deserve a Totodile, and yet you pick a Chikorita over a Cyndaquil? For shame. Arthur, take it down.
But this is my friend.
Take it down.
Urf... Sorry Razz.
Eh, it's fine.

Adding insult to injury...

Very much so. Now then, tell me your name.

That's what you'll call me, and you're never knowing my real name. *leaves*
Well then... if he doesn't "have a real name", I suppose I'll give him one. The repercussions for his actions will be quite severe.
I'm afraid of what you're going to do next.
As of right now, we're going to Elm's first. That pesky kid set us behind. We must hurry!
*finally gets to Elm's lab*

A Poke... oh, now I get it.
What?
Do you not get it, Arthur? You said beforehand that this Razz was the Chikorita at the lab. Take a guess who has the Chikorita.
oooooh!
Wait, you're saying you know who took it?
Yes. I battled him on the way here. It's a shame I didn't realize he was the thief, otherwise, I would've caught him.
Can you at least give me his name?
With pleasure.

Dude, that's really harsh.
There will be no mercy for the ones on my list.
Thanks kid! I conduct a search right away! *leaves*

My Chikorita...
Hold on for a moment. Do you mean this was the disaster you were telling me about? How come the PokeGear was disconnecting?
Yeah, Johto isn't known for it's good connectivity. PokeGears disconnect often. And uh, sorry for sounding so frantic over the PokeGear. It was just a shock to me, you know?
Yes, I see. Well then, would this egg make you feel better?

M-My...! This is the egg?! This is it! Oh Mewtwo, it's this! THIS!
Please Elm. Sit back down.
Yes, yes, sorry. It's just... this is a really rare and valuable egg. I'll have to conduct a study for it at once!
Well then... since you have your egg, there are no more errands for me?
Nope! You're free to go on your journey! But... talk to your mother first, okay? She'll need to know that you're leaving.
Very well then, I'll talk to my, ahem, mother.
The quicker we do this, the quicker we leave.
I agree.

 

[hopeandjoy]

It's super easy to get VBA, though. (Just to keep in mind for your next Let's Play, obviously it's too late now.)

 

[DarkAura]

Yeah, I know, but the thing is, this isn't my computer; it's my mom's, and she won't let me get a VBA. Which is sad, really, because I'd get normal screenshots, less of a pain getting the screenshots, gameshark codes, and turbospeed... T^T

When I get my own laptop, you bet your ass I'll get VBA.