Bad Genie!

[ValyceNegative]

You found a magic lamp! Upon stroking it, a genie comes out. You're granted one wish; little you do know, every single thing you ask for will be slightly tweaked by the genie, making you instantly regret your choice.

E.g.: Poster 1 goes: "I wish for superpowers!"
Poster 2 replies: "Granted! Your superpower is laser vision, but only when your eyes are closed. They obliterate your eyelids instantly. :V
I wish for... endless money!"
And so on!

Let's start: I wish for a vacation overseas!

 

[Kung Fu Ferret]

Granted. Welcome to Antarctica! Don't mind the penguins!

I wish I was ruler of my country.

 

[ValyceNegative]

Wish granted! You're the ruler of your own country, a teeny tiny deserted island: you're the only citizen.

I wish my room would tidy up by itself!

 

[Kung Fu Ferret]

Granted but you lose everything

I wish could travel back in time to save Harambe

 

[ValyceNegative]

Harambe lives! But turns out he's a "pineapple on pizza" apologist. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wish I could meet my celebrity crush.

 

[Kung Fu Ferret]

I actually like pineapple on pizza. Also Harambe was a gorilla btw.

Granted, they're a lousy person .

I wish covid would buzz all the way off

 

[ValyceNegative]

(Out of game: pineapple used to flavour meats, especially ham, works perfectly imo. Maybe it's the tomato+cheese pizza base that throws people off? And yeah I know Harambe! I remember when Internet went crazy over that.)

Aack. Never meet your heroes :c

Wish granted! Covid *as a disease* has gone. Covid is now the name of a giant lovecraftian monster terrorizing nations D:

Hhm. I wish for a new source of renewable energy that could save us from enviroinmental crisis.

 

[Kung Fu Ferret]

Granted. It's nuclear energy, which lots of people are scared of.

I wish my dog was immortal

 

[ValyceNegative]

Granted! Doggy is immortal, but not immune to aging and organic decay.

I wish my city had more green.

 

[Kung Fu Ferret]

Granted, but it's that go away green Disney parks use for restricted areas

I wish I was a zookeeper

 

[ValyceNegative]

Granted, somehow the lions always find a way to lock you into their cage. Dinner time!

I wish I could complete my drawings instantly just by imagining them.

 

[Kung Fu Ferret]

Granted. But you're constantly disappointed.

I wish my neighbors would stop slamming the doors so much

 

[A_Polished_Scyther]

Granted, but now they've begun blasting music at two in the morning when you're trying to sleep. Oh, and they're still slamming the doors, except not as often.

I wish for the genie to stop tampering with the wishes. Not today, Mr. Monkey's Paw. lol

 

[Kung Fu Ferret]

Granted, but now it's an even worse genie.

I wish Kanye West would just admit to being a gay fish

 

[ValyceNegative]

The genie grants this by turning Kanye into a gay fish. And everyone else too. Do you like fish sticks now? :P

I wish Facebook never existed.

 

[Kung Fu Ferret]

Granted but all the minion memes plague Twitter instead.

I wish for caffeine

 

[ValyceNegative]

Granted! They put a teaspoon of salt instead of sugar. >:C

I wish for a softer pillow.

 

[Kung Fu Ferret]

Granted, but it's never cool on any side.

I wish I would stop procrastinating

 

[ValyceNegative]

Granted, now you will never be able to sit still and rest anymore. :3c

I wish for mosquitoes to disappear forever, I'm sick of them!

 

[Kung Fu Ferret]

Granted, but ecological collapse is imminent!

I wish for revenge, don't ask