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Beat the Poster above

I crawl out of the wreckage and call you on your cellphone to point out that the American Civil War ocurred 40 years before the first recorded plane flight. The plane you are flying in disappears from existence, and you fall out of the sky. I then make a sandwich.
 
Sends evil plot bunny minions to plant poisonous Gloom leaves in your sandwich. When you detect the stench, the plot bunnies say "To hell wiff this!" in little squeaky voices and jump out disguised in Weavile ninja costumes, eviscerating you with their claws.
 
Comes rolling over you in a tank and several other British inventions, including the Jet Engine, which is appropriately attached to a Harrier Jumpjet which has loads of computers onboard (bites tounge), before jumping out and climbing onto a quad bike before getting off, scoring a goal in FOOTBALL, and climbing onboard the Relian Robin Space Shuttle to return when you least expect it... Or 'til I find a decent Fish & Chip shop, probably in Skegness, or Scarborough, either way somewhere on the East Coast!
 
I send Reshiram to set fire to your lunch. Unfortunately, Reshiram had eaten a Weezing, so his breath was all poisonous. You eat your 300-degrees, poisoned lunch and die.
 
I'm part werewolf, so I survive and come back pretending to be a ghost, haunting you with my ROOT ANBU abilities, thus eventually making you commit suicide jus to get away from me as you keep failing to excorcise me or get rid of me at all!
 
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