You're supposed to be resting.
Leaf ignored the hissing in the back of her mind and continued her run, galloping down the highway in the chill evening air. Or, well. It
would've been really cool and stoic if she had ignored it. Unfortunately it was a little hard to tune out the nagging in the back of her mind when her back leg twinged uncomfortably every time it butted in. (Goddamn Alexander. Those stupid sock puppet hand-heads didn't even look like they
had teeth.)
Ignore it. Push through it.
Doc said I'd be fine. Just had to stay in shape, stretch out the stiffness, limber up again.
And I am.
She said you'd be fine with rest. God, it's not even me saying that. It's someone else, someone you're not constantly inventing excuses to argue with, and you still won't listen.
Of course she'd listened. Doc was an actual doctor who was helping her and not a controlling know-it-all. She
had rested, and only battled a couple Escarpa clanners at the party—not even Zapdos!—and anyway she was a pokémon and also a super-strong magic spirit hero and she'd be all healed up before the end of the week. Besides, there was work to do, and she wasn't going to be out of shape for it. Even if she'd almost rather fight another Alexander than fake smile her way through the Coven's yacht club meeting or whatever.
I can handle it.
Ha! This is new. The laugh was entirely humorless.
Usually I have to talk you down from whatever stupid deathwish stunt you're desperate to throw yourself into this week. Now you don't even like this latest plan, and you still won't do the sensible thing and just leave it alone?
Because I have to help. Doesn't matter whether it's my favorite option or not. Everyone needs to be there. They still had Brisa and Jade's friend, and Beetle was there somewhere, and so was whoever'd kidnapped Leona. If this was what everyone else agreed would get them out, then that was that. (Even if it'd be so, so much easier to just go shake down whoever'd been working with Ein. Articuno was basically in charge of the whole thing and even
they were suspicious; why didn't they just round up whoever was behind it and—)
And yet you're not taking this at all seriously.
Yes I am. Leaf slammed her hoof against the ground mid-stride, definitely to put on a higher turn of speed and not because she was seething and wishing she could just leave a dent in the road. Whatever the reason, it was immediately not worth it as acid pain juddered along her leg.
Another hiss.
(Laughing or wincing?) Oh, of course you are! Petulant denial sounds plenty serious to me. You must have an airtight plan for finding the people who were involved, then. Let's hear it, then! Lay it all out for me. Where you'll be starting your investigation, the names of your prime suspects and what related leads you'll be following...
...I don't know, okay? It wasn't my idea. Focus on moving forward, let the wind rushing past her ears and the pounding of her hooves muffle the nagging and the "well
obviously" she knew was coming.
But I trust everyone else. We'll get there, and make them talk, and when we prove that they're kidnapping people on top of everything else we can shut the whole thing down.
Do you hear yourself? 'Make them talk', 'shut the whole thing down', without a moment's thought for the Covenant's size, or hierarchy, or the layers of structure and scapegoats the actual culprits will have carefully hidden themselves behind. Leaf almost stumbled as disappointment dug iron fingers into her side.
I don't know why I expected you might've picked up on any sort of nuance, even after all of this nonsense.
What, don't like me calling the Coven what they are? No Rocket buddies to defend here, so you're sticking up for these assholes instead? That'll definitely get me to take your side, handwaving away all the awful things they've done.
I never defended— I know what they've done, that's why I don't want you— No. We're not starting this. I'm not letting you drag up an irrelevant argument to hide the fact that you don't understand how these organizations work. And you have the gall to tell me that you're taking this seriously. The voice stayed cold and biting, but it felt like the volume was rising in her head, threatening to drown out the hoofbeats. Blood rushed in her ears like the iron fingers were closing her chest.
If you just bulldoze in assuming everyone you run into is equally complicit in that laundry list of crimes, if you don't find the right evidence implicating the right ones, you're blinding yourself to whatever might really be happening, and the Covenant will absolutely take advantage of that. These 'Wayfarer' people are putting in actual work to make sense of this; they don't need you trampling all over that effort, blowing their cover, and endangering them as well as yourself! Stop being an idiot and just stay out of it!
All the evenness in the tone disappeared, rising higher and higher and louder and louder until it forced Leaf's ears back against her head even though the only real sound was the shrieking wind (always shrieking, always shouting, why was there always fucking shouting).
Trust me, I remember exactly what they've done. All the same things they'd do to you or the others if you give them an excuse! What are you going to do when they lock you up in whatever prison they've hidden out in the middle of nowhere? Or shove that meowth girl into the same cell as her friend? What if they decide they're not done with their radiance experiments, and drag that chimera back with them to replace the one they lost? What if—
Shut up! That's not going to happen! She wouldn't
let it happen. (But what if it
happened.) This was
stupid, they weren't even there yet and already she was blowing this out of proportion. (What
else was the Coven doing that they still
didn't know about?) It didn't matter; they were going to find out, that was the
point.
I'm only even agreeing to this in the first place because I know the others know what they're doing, and I'm
going to do what they ask! (
Try do to it. Try, because she
was trying, and hope that she didn't just lose her patience and
screw it up.)
The voice sank low, still acidic as the phantom shadow buzzing along her side.
Why is being careful and thorough tolerable when these other people suggest it, but whenever I try to give you reasonable advice and keep you safe you're too bullheaded to even stop and consider that I might be right?
Maybe because they don't make me feel like an idiot when they do it! Leaf slammed on the brakes, too furious to care about the surge of pain that raced up her flank.
Because they at least give me a chance
to understand where they're coming from without screaming at me and assuming I never will! A blade of psychic energy whirled through the air, shearing the branches off a bedraggled tree by the side of the road.
If you
ever considered taking ten fucking seconds to explain yourself when you think I'm wrong instead of just shutting me down, maybe I'd
actually consider hearing you out!
...I wish they'd tell you to come home.
The smallness of it stopped Leaf short. She blinked, but then shook her head slowly, like it was suddenly heavy.
...I'm tired of this. The heat from the run had evaporated and the cold of the night snapped in, made her shiver as she sank to the ground by the shattered tree.
Tired of hearing your voice all the time when you're not even here. Even when it's not shouting. Being here and not home
should've been nice. But I don't even get that! You're not here
. I don't know why this keeps happening. Fucking... shadows or whatever. I hate this.
She stared down the highway at nothing in particular, not registering the stars that were winking into the sky.
Keep saying you wish I'd 'come home', keep calling me stupid or stubborn, but there's no point. I'm already here. Sitting on my hands and doing nothing isn't gonna send me back. And it won't make the danger go away, either. Doing nothing will just let them get worse! For me, and for the other Wayfarers, and for everyone else. For Leona, and Brisa, and Betel, and god knew who else.
You say you're trying to keep me safe. Why aren't I allowed to want that for anyone?
There was nothing, for a few seconds. Her head buzzed and her ears rang in the silence left behind by the phantom shouting.
...Fine. I can't pull you out of this surreal nightmare world. I can't get through to you and convince you to come home on your own. I can't stop you. But at least... let me help you. Let me... try.
Leaf snorted.
Tell me how a bunch of shouting in my head is supposed to help me.
I don't—! Ugh. No, I don't mean... No. That... that would only distract you. There was another pause, more ringing silence, but the sensation ebbed as the voice came back. Softer this time.
No shouting. I promise.
If I can't dissuade you from getting involved, then the best way to keep you safe is to help you get through this. Let me help you focus. Stay level-headed. Take the time to fully understand whatever situation you're in so you can make a good choice about what to do next, even if the others aren't there. And if you really can't stay out of a fight... then the faster you can end it, the better.
Hmph. We'll see. Leaf picked herself up from the roadside, grunting when it was her bad leg's turn to take the weight. There was another hiss, but it just seemed pained, annoyed. (Might've just come from between her own gritted teeth.)
And I'm certainly not letting that happen again.
I'm sure you won't.
(It did hurt like hell, though. Not having the Coven thugs try to pull her apart like a roast chicken
would be ideal, probably.)
God. She couldn't get to her bed at the Haus fast enough. Or... slow enough. Probably it was best to just walk back to town, this time. It was probably gonna be a while before she got another chance, what with the trip out to Alexandria right around the corner. And she had a feeling that, no matter how plush the lodgings Articuno offered them were, she wasn't going to be sleeping too comfortably until they left this Congress thing behind.
She'd manage, though. Get through it. They all would. Maybe a little easier, even, if she double-checked with Laura or Gladion or someone about the plan.
...This had better not be a mistake. If something happens—
It won't. I won't do anything.
You say that, but... hm. The iron grip that wasn't there eased up, slowly, until it really wasn't there at all.
All right.
Leaf learned Umbral Vigilance!
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