My life is amazing...

[Autumn]

It's about my friends. I've got a self-esteem complex, see, and more often than I should I have thoughts of "are these people really my friends... or are they being sympathetic because of my asperger's and related social quirks?"

The fact that my best friend has spent a huge portion of the last several months on my futon - willingly, even after she found out I had a crush on her (when I completely rejected the guy who liked me - who, by the way, is the same age difference from me as I am from her, two grades older! - my freshman year) - should have said something about that. But I've never been able to prove that she cares about me (even if only as a friend) to the same extent that I cared about her (platonic or not). It's like, I've wanted to do something like tell my friends I'm suicidal just to see how far they'd go to stop me, which of course is a completely and utterly selfish thing to do and a bad idea but, I mean, I'm insecure about my friends. I don't know how much they really care about me and I want to find out but, like, I can't without it just being a weird topic.

Well, I guess I found out today.

Back in May, the bff mentioned was having issues with an asshole friend who liked her and would not leave her alone about her boyfriend, whom he hated (for no reason other than that he was her boyfriend). These issues took place over text... at a mutual friend's birthday party. Which sorta put a damper on the end for us but we tried not to drag everyone else down with us. Anyway, bff was pretty depressed after that and I was emailing her, being really sympathetic in place of her boyfriend (who, at the time, she never talked to since he had a failure of a computer, no cell phone, and was at a different school), when I realized I needed to do something for her.

Just spent a few hours with a close friend of mine creating a red velvet cake smothered in rainbow icing and rainbow sprinkles. We made it for another good friend of ours. We showed up at said friend's house without her knowing we were coming (her response to us being at the door: "Okay, why?") to deliver this cake.

It's not even her birthday. We made/delivered it because we both felt bad for her because she's had a downright awful couple of weeks.

I. I feel like I've done something productive. <3

She was immediately cheered up.

And again, after she had a falling out with this asshole friend that led to her being mad at me (it's complicated) - that was the first and only time in our friendship of almost-a-year-now that she's ever been mad at me. And it wasn't even directly my fault (but she did have reason to be mad).

(iv: Gonna bake her another cake tomorrow. Less icing this time. :3)

and so I did. She'd already forgiven me by that point...

(I baked her a cake because I felt bad about what happened. When I delivered the cake she promptly asked if I wanted to stay at her house so I did. things are pretty peachy between us ^^ just not so much with ass-friend)

But it was still a nice gesture.

This morning I texted her as soon as I woke up with the word "moping". Her response: "Why?" I went off on a thing about how this was the last free Friday of my childhood (band camp starts next week and then bamf senior year) and I was just generally being pissy, not looking forward to next year much and being generally mopey. I shrugged it off at one point and asked if she'd like to come over, she said she was doing something in an hour but after that she might be good. I asked what time she'd be done and she said one or two. an hour later she said she had to go. I managed to get two texts from her in that time period and I was all like "why won't she text me again. usually she's not SO busy to text unless she's with her boyfriend. But they were together yesterday tooooo xD confuzzle"

then the doorbell rang around 2:20 and I was like "don't tell me that's her, she didn't text to say she was coming!" so I went to see the door and first I see her boyfriend...

then her...

then this.

After what happened two nights ago -

So my bff was over last night and we were talking about the depressing story of her friendship. I know the story - her middle school life sucked because her friends kinda turned on her and treated her like crap (laughing at everything she said and just generally being bitchy), and she didn't expect high school to be much better. Then, the second day of band camp, I went up to her at a water break and started talking. Of course, at the time I didn't know who she was or anything... literally the only reason I ever talked to the girl that is now my best and closest friend is because her hair reminded me of my former crush's. And I was like "Must talk to her. Is she anything like my former crush?" She wasn't. She was annoying and clung to me like her life depended on it after the initial conversations. But I never had the heart to tell her off, and over the course of many months it turned from her not leaving me alone to me not wanting to be left alone. Now she's part of a little posse (which also includes me, her boyfriend, and a few other friends) so she finally has somewhere to fit in after years of never fitting in anywhere.

Anyway, so we're in the middle of talking about this when she suddenly gets up from the futon and pretty much attacks me, awkwardly hugging me while I was still lying down, and goes "Thank you for actually being nice to me! <333" and I was just like ... <3

the knowledge that I've affected her life as thoroughly as I have...

it made my entire existence. <333

I think my self-esteem complex has roughly vanished.

Thank you for the motherfucking cake. <3333

 

[Superbird]

I can tell you're happy because you're not typing shiftless.

Congratulations! I'm happy for you!

 

[Autumn]

I can tell you're happy because you're not typing shiftless.

the sad thing is this is sort of true

Also, bff and boyfriend stayed at my house for several hours afterward. We played Kirby's Epic Yarn, showcased glitches in Blue, went for a swim fully clothed, broke my sister's guitar string trying to tune it, scrambled to get all the weird shipping pictures of bff's boyfriendxthe guy I used to like off the wall before he entered the room, accidentally knocked him unconscious for a few minutes... You know, normal everyday stuff. :V

 

[The Omskivar]

Went to the camp I work at, which is always fun :P There's a talent show every Tuesday and every section of campers does a skit together. A really popular one is the "Useless Onslaught of Superheroes" approach; have a supervillain or two, then throw every single camper against them as superheroes, naming themselves off one by one.

Brave Village, one of the guy's side sections, did this. Their villains were Pointless Insult Man, Strong Girl, and the Kool-Aid Man. They threw kids at them in three groups, all of which failed, and one last group of three, that ended up defeating the villains.

The last kid in the third group was holding some branches with leaves on them. He was supposed to say "I am...Shrub-Man!" But he didn't. He said one word. The word was:

"Bushypuss!"

The whole camp burst into laughter, but only the oldest campers and the staff knew why. To this day we have no freaking clue why he said that. He was ten.