Kivara Starscrape Heaves

[Jackie Cat]

“We did all we could,” he said off-handedly, shoving off the thoughts crawling in the back of his mind, and shrugged. “I guess the mission could be considered a success since we stopped your ‘colleagues’ from doing whatever craziness they were planning, but well,” he motioned to their surroundings with a hand, “it’s kinda hard to consider this the best outcome. But, hm, all things considered we’re fine? So I guess the others must be alright, too? Maybe here, maybe somewhere else.” Before more intrusive thoughts latched on him, Silver focused his entire attention on Matthias. “What about you? What’re you gonna do once you get outta here? Got folks to meet and more missions to sabotage?”

Matthias nodded along with friendly interest. The boy had probably done his best, dissatisfied though he might seem.

"Ah, that I don't truly know," he admitted. "This was never in any of my plans, my dear Silver. Perhaps it is time, at last, to fully turn against the Covenant, as I have meant to for... a long time. But while there remains a chance that I can hold onto my position as it has been... It is too valuable to sacrifice."

There were too many steps between now and then for him to know. Time would tell.

---

"Okay," said Laura, feeling nauseated. "I believe you believe that. But there's nothing to be done about it right now whether it's true or not. We just have to get out of this place. Then we can... talk about, uh. Everything."

Like how to send this guy home, if that was what he wanted.

The Greninja cleared his throat. He'd been so quiet, Laura had forgot the CDE agent was standing just there.

"Sounds good to me," he said, amiably. "I'm sure it is all ðe big non-understanding, ne? Let's get free and safe for ðe present time."

He pointed upwards. "I have seen several of ðese constellations, seems to me like..."

He quickly etched a diagram in the cold ground beneath him, checking with Laura and Malachai when he wanted to confirm something.

"All ðe major constellations, ðe 'Arcana', are here, similar-like to ðe night sky, ne?" He pointed to an empty space in the centre of his diagram. "We gotta go here, okay? Ðat is my feeling."

 

[canisaries]

"Okay," said Laura, feeling nauseated. "I believe you believe that. But there's nothing to be done about it right now whether it's true or not. We just have to get out of this place. Then we can... talk about, uh. Everything."

Ben looked betrayed, but he understood. Laura had just met him, and she's spent a much longer time with Andre, who'd apparently managed to play innocent all this time. He was damn good at it.

"Sorry," he said quietly, grasping his paw.

"All ðe major constellations, ðe 'Arcana', are here, similar-like to ðe night sky, ne?" He pointed to an empty space in the centre of his diagram. "We gotta go here, okay? Ðat is my feeling."

Andre and Ben both gathered around the diagram.

"Well, I have no better ideas," Andre muttered.

 

[Cresselia92]

"No, it's not like that," he said. "I didn't kill his trainer. I just met his trainer, and then his trainer went missing after he left me. I didn't do anything to him. Ben is just making assumptions."

Oh. So Andre could speak his language, too? Well, he might as well respond with something.

“…Ah. So that’s what really happened?” Silver muttered lowly, keeping his tone as neutral as possible to not let his suspicion slip through. Something was off about the way Andre was looking at everyone, but the Sneasel decided to play along for the time being. “Hmm. I guess that matter with Ben’s trainer and your meeting with him was just… a very unfortunate coincidence, then. I apologize for my outburst.”

But I swear to the gods, if you’re trying to gaslight me like my psycho bitch of a ‘grandmother’ has done with me…!

Alas, as much as he wished to listen to his instincts demanding more answers or permission to rearrange someone’s face, that wasn’t really the best place to be discussing that kind of ‘truth’, as Andre had put it. They were still weak, lost, and who knows how far away from civilization.

He glanced at Ben, who seemed even more desperate and frustrated with the situation, until he was forced to admit temporary defeat. That amount of raw emotion… it’s couldn’t be something born out of simple assumptions and conjectures. Gut’s feelings definitely had a role, but Silver knew well that mere belief wasn’t proof enough in a courtroom, and it definitely wouldn’t fly in Forlas where there was no way to gather clues and Andre was one of the ‘good guys.’

As a show of sympathy, Silver patted the Teddiursa on his shoulder and gave him an encouraging nod. “Hang there! Will… huh, find answers to broken heart. But now, survive place!”

Right. Survive the dungeon. Silver checked out Matthias’ map, humming to himself. He shot a furtive glance at Andre, then nodded in agreement. “Yes! Let us, err, try idea!”

 

[JFought]

Isidora was not happy about the new arrivals and the revelations they brought. One moment it felt like she was figuring things out, and the next she was watching heated diplomacy in a language she couldn't understand because one of the Wayfayers was apparently a murderer the whole time, all while an enemy she had just fought with spectated and made casual conversation from the sidelines.

Looking at Andre now, she wasn't sure what she saw in him anymore. She couldn't imagine a deerling killing anyone out of malice, but he wasn't a deerling. And the look he wore as he was accused... She couldn't understand his words, but she did understand that, and for now, she believed Ben over whatever lies he must've spouted.

Still, he's one of us. It's not like we can just... kill him, or leave him behind. As frustrating as it was, Laura was right that they needed to play nice until they got out of here, and that applied to both Andre and Matthias. But that wasn't going to stop her from keeping her claws extended and shooting the greninja dirty looks. He's an acceptable target between the two, right?

She kept a healthy distance as the group gathered around a diagram Matthias had drawn. So, this dungeon's puzzle revolves around constellations? She glanced at the ceiling. Makes sense. Too bad she knew literally none of them.

"I'm sure Malachai can lead the way," she said with a mischevious smirk. "You already did a good job navigating us to Laura. Solving this puzzle and finding the dungeon's heart shouldn't be too much trouble for you, right?"

 

[Jackie Cat]

Malachai nodded, and cleared his tiny throat.

"Yes, of course. Assuming that the proposed solution is correct, and no supernatural obstacle prohibits entry to the indicated cavern, I should be able to locate it shortly. Please excuse me."

The Noibat took to the air and vanished into the darkness with a clatter of wingbeats.

With the dragon-bat off searching for Matthias' proposed destination, the Greninja looked up at Isidora and answered her dirty looks with a polite smile.

"We need not be enemies," he said, simply.

Laura looked away. There wasn't much chance she could help convince anyone of that. Not in these conditions, at least.

---

Malachai returned swiftly.

"I have found the cavern matching Matthias' description," he called, and immediately set about herding the gathered 'mon towards his findings.

The cave in question was much like the other 'rooms' in this dungeon, but the bioluminescent constellation above was especially prominent, and seemed to glow brighter as the Wayfarers entered. It was an intricate tracery of interlocking spirals, stars in a helical pattern radiating outward.

Looking up at it, Matthias sighed with vindication.

"Auriga," he said. "The World Entire."

Also known as the Beacon of Life.​

"What was that?" hissed Laura, ears pricking.

"What was that?" heard Silver, Isidora, and everyone else, as if Laura had always spoken their language.

Still no sign of Betel, but something had stepped in to restore their ability to understand each other...

 

[canisaries]

Both Andre and Ben's ears pricked up as they heard the mysterious voice.

"Do you think that was the dungeon talking?" Andre said.

"Can they do that?" Ben asked.

"I know there's someone who became a dungeon spirit at Ranger HQ," Andre elaborated. "Sinopa, I believe."

"...What's Ranger HQ?"

Andre sighed. "I can catch you up when we get out of here."

Ben frowned. "Can't someone else do it?"

Andre sighed again.

 

[Cresselia92]

Silver studied the fake constellation shining from above them all, holding his hands on his hips. He couldn’t claim to be a professional stargazer or anything frivolous like that, but even he could admit that the sight of those fake stars was equally beautiful and relaxing.

His ears twitched and his feathers shook when he heard the mysterious voice, and he peered analytically at the walls. He was so focused on his task that he didn’t even turn when he heard the others commenting what had just happened.

"What was that?" hissed Laura, ears pricking.

"Do you think that was the dungeon talking?" Andre said.

"Can they do that?" Ben asked.

"I know there's someone who became a dungeon spirit at Ranger HQ," Andre elaborated. "Sinopa, I believe."

Silver brought a claw to his chin, pondering the strange phenomenon. “Hm, yeah, there’s a good chance this might be some kinda dungeon shenanigan. Maybe this place hosts some spirit or deity, and…”

He trailed off, his eyes narrowing. Something was feeling both odd and right. What was that?

Then he realized whose voices he had just heard, and his eyes widened. It wasn’t only Matthias or Andre, but also Laura and Ben. Not only that; he could also follow their discussion perfectly, without missing or misinterpreting a single word.

Could it be…?

“Wait! Did I just—and y’all—?” he stammered, his mouth running as his brain was still flipping back and forth between languages. He shook his head to clear his mind and stared at the others, a hint of anticipation glinting in his eyes as he settled back to Tojohnese. “Hey! Can y’all understand what I’m saying right now?!”

 

[Jackie Cat]

"Uh, yeah!" exclaimed Laura, a grin creeping onto her face. "Nice to understand you again, Silver."

She turned to Isidora. "Hey! Isidora! How 'bout you?"

And then, silently, to the astral plains, "Are you there, Betel??"

No reply from Betel. Was this not their doing...?

Matthias sighed again, this time with relief. "Ah. That's much better. Now I can understand what you all are saying – communication should be much easier, now."

He gestured around.

"This is the dungeon heart... and it's marked by the Forlasan constellation of Auriga. Traditionally associated with... perspective. Seeing oneself as part of a larger whole, in particular."

All souls speak through this voice. Gossamer wings abuzz. The ache of gum and tooth. Rain sizzling on warm scales. Berry juice stains make such perfect glyphs. The pull of North through lateral line organs. Moonlight on the waves.

Matthias blinked, his face twitching as he reacted to the barely-perceptible rush of feeling that suffused the cavern.

"I believe we need to share... a memory, perhaps. Or a... Hm. Some kind of subjective experience, some 'truth' that is raw and meaningful to us. I guess I have an instinct saying so, aha."

Malachai landed beside Laura, and chuffed irritably. "How wonderfully vague. Perhaps you'd care to demonstrate?"

Matthias smiled wide, bowed, and nodded. "Of course. Within me is the memory... of moonlight, shining silver on the waves of some lake or ocean. I am standing on the beach, damp grains of sand between my toes, looking out over the water. It occurs to me in this moment... that it would be a beautiful place to die. I take a step into the water, and the cold seizes me like a fist. The last thing I think of, is to wonder if this cold water can quench the anger inside me."

There was a pause. Who would jump to speak, after an apparent confession of attempted suicide...?

"And did it?" asked Malachai.

Matthias nodded. "I believe it did. I can no longer remember what caused it to burn so within me."

Overhead, the stars glittered brighter.

All souls – feeling, wanting, needing, searching, bleeding...

 

[canisaries]

"...Sorry to hear that," Andre said, not really equipped to deal with this situation given his own ongoing one.

All souls – feeling, wanting, needing, searching, bleeding...

Yes, bleeding. You'd know all about that, Andre.

Andre pushed aside the thought and dug deep into his mind to find some memory where he would have been exposed to strong auras without resorting to the ones that were tied to his murders.

As he continued searching, Ben spoke up.

"Well, I... don't know if I have anything fancy. I'm just a small time bear trying to make it into the big leagues." He paused to give Andre a venomous look - a look that said, 'which won't happen now that Mike is dead'. Andre was too deep in thought to notice.

"But I guess there was that one time I was just a cub. Younger than I look now. I strayed off from my Mama -- er, mother, and got lost in the woods. It was just for a while, but when I saw only trees around me and I called out and my mother wouldn't answer, I started getting afraid. I thought... I might never make it out, never see my mother again. It was the first time I'd felt that kind of finality." He paused. "But I was found by my mother soon enough. She'd followed her nose. Something I hadn't even realized I could have done myself." He huffed. "I know that's stupid. A bear that can't even sniff his way through the woods. But, hey, that's me."

 

[Cresselia92]

"I believe we need to share... a memory, perhaps. Or a... Hm. Some kind of subjective experience, some 'truth' that is raw and meaningful to us. I guess I have an instinct saying so, aha."

Silver breathed out a weary groan, not the least thrilled by the suggestion. Seriously? So now we’ve gotta play a Truth or Dare session without the Dare option?

Before the Sneasel could voice his opinion, Matthias relayed his memory to the group, and of freaking course it had to be the kinda truth that everyone might have preferred to not know (without being mentally prepared, at least!). Hence, Silver stared hard at Matthias, unblinking and feeling deeply uncomfortable with that new knowledge. Wow, man, TMI!

“…Damn, that’s, huh,” he started out uneasily, then paused to collect his thoughts. Gods, why did matters have to get so unbearably awkward? “I’m… sorry that your life got so crappy to the point you sought a way outta it. That’s, huh, a terrible state of mind to be in.” He tapped his claws together, nervous and unsure whether his comment was helping. “But, um, it’s good that you… don’t feel that kinda destructive rage anymore?”

…Because it’s very exhausting to be furious with life all the time.

All souls – feeling, wanting, needing, searching, bleeding...

…Ah. So that dungeon was really a confessional booth of sorts. What a joy, forced into a dungeon version of a sleepover with limitless gossip and creepy secrets, but a hundred times more uncomfortable!

Silver stayed silent as Ben told his own tale, and he managed out a neutral smile. At least that memory wasn’t nearly as overwhelming as Matthias’s.

“I guess… I should tell something, then.”

His expression deflated as he glanced at the others, feeling his confidence faltering when he latched onto a specific memory. The Sneasel took a deep breath and looked up at the glowing constellation. Somehow, the sight of that luminous moss made him feel calmer.

“…It was a stormy night, with rumors that the Guardian of the Sea had awakened for some unknown reason. I dunno, I wasn’t paying much attention to them because I had a much louder storm roaring in my mind.”

His gaze drifted to the floor, refusing to look at the others. Refusing to show weakness so openly.

“I was feeling… empty, so horribly empty and confused, due to still reeling from a few humiliating defeats, and…” He took a shuddering breath. “My efforts, my beliefs, my dreams… I was losing sight of them all. I’ve been told through most of my life that the world was made of winners and losers, and my family taught me how to be a powerful winner.” His troubled expression turned into a pained snarl. “So why do I keep losing? What is it I still lack?”

It took Silver a moment to realize that he just said, and that the feelings he felt that night and the feelings that ravaged his current mind were exactly the same. Against his best judgment, he continued.

“Then there was a flash. A thunderbolt, I believed, but no. It was Ordile. Staring down at me with his bright yellow eyes and his fangs glinting in the dim darkness…” Silver swallowed and rubbed his arms. Despite his thick fur, he felt cold. “Feraligatr are a proud species, so I… I assumed he wanted to lash out at me for failing him so many times. I braced myself for punishment…”

It was then that Silver lifted his gaze to glance at the others, somewhat timidly. Fresh shock swirled into his eyes, almost as if he could barely believe his own past.

“…But it never came. Instead, Ordile, he… he pulled myself to him. Sheltered me from the storm with his own body. Growled words of reassurance. He had no reason to do any of that for me, to comfort me so that I didn’t feel lost and alone anymore, but he… did.” Silver averted his gaze and his ears drooped, looking genuinely flustered. “My face and chest felt much wetter, but I don’t think it was because of the rain…”

 

[JFought]

She turned to Isidora. "Hey! Isidora! How 'bout you?"

Isidora sighed with relief. "Yeah, finally about time." Though Betel still appeared to be missing in action. She examined the shining constellation above and wondered. "Could it be Auriga, somehow...?"

She listened to Matthias' explanation of what he believed the next step to be. And her face twisted into disbelief when he demonstrated by telling something way too morbid. She refused to dignify it with a response; instead she wandered over to to one of the room's cavern walls and sat to rest against it. Yeah, let's just share some experiences, like the time I tried to give myself hypothermia -- what the fuck is wrong with him?!

At least Ben and Silver's stories were normal, if a little bittersweet on the latter’s part. Still, what was the dungeon really asking of them? Wasn't the puzzle supposed to be about stars? Why can't we go back to that? Maybe under different circumstances Isidora would've been willing to humor this, but the idea of sharing anything with some of this group made her fur itch.

She decided to speak up. "So that's, what, three 'truths' now?" Her eyes darted off to the side. "And there's seven of us. How many d'you think the dungeon's askin' for? Maybe there’s like, a threshold or somethin'."

 

[canisaries]

Andre sighed silently at Ben's story. He would have liked to tell him that what happened wasn't his fault and that he didn't need to be like the bears of the wild if he didn't want to or felt like he wasn't able to, but those words would mean nothing if they came from Andre.

At Silver's story, he smiled. "I'm glad your mon companion was there to comfort you," he said.

After Isidora spoke, he cleared his throat. "Well, I think I have something I can share." Something that didn't require him to expose his real feelings on murder. "It was just before Midwinter, halfway through my first year in uni. I wasn't doing well. Well, no, I was. Just not by Duval family standards. And I'd also done a lot of thinking regarding the field I was in - economics. Just like my brothers, just like my dad. I was never forced to choose it, but… you could say I was strongly nudged. And I didn't think too hard about it - I always thought that there was work and play, work being studying and, well, work, and play being my art. But…"

He sighed. "When it started getting more and more clear what I was getting myself into, the life I was about to lock myself into, I got pretty anxious. I mean, if studying was so much work that I couldn't paint afterwards, what about actual work later on? I just wouldn't be able to do my art, and… I couldn't accept that. Not… yet, anyway. I wanted a little more time to be an artist. Just a few years. And, after that, when I would return to study up for my real job, I wanted it to be something else than economics.

"Economics just wasn't for me. I wasn't a businessperson. I didn't want to optimise revenue or treat people like they're a bunch of numbers." Oh, so you just let your father do it and reap the benefits. "I wanted to do something that I liked, that meant something to me. Though I hadn't figured out yet what that was. Still haven't…"

He shook his head. "But to the actual point. I decided I needed to tell my parents this face to face, even if that meant I'd be able to sense all the disappointment in their auras. It was them that were putting me through uni, so they should be part of the decision to drop out.

"So, I called them in advance, said I wanted to talk about something serious and that I was coming over. They said they'd be there. So, I started driving. And what an anxious drive that was. May have crashed to someone if I'd been any more stuck in my thoughts. And then I arrived, my heart pounding and my guts twisting and my palms sweating despite the cold. I came in and sat them down and just barely got out the words. They stayed silent as I explained it all, their auras swirling with complex emotions that I was too antsy to properly recognize. Conflict, though, was there - that much was apparent. And then, when I was done, they spoke.

"They said they loved me and that if this was what I really needed to do, they'd support me." A small smile crossed Andre's face. "I can scarcely remember a bigger sense of relief in my life than that."

He sighed again. "I hope that's… emotional enough."

 

[Jackie Cat]

Laura exhaled with deep relief. Good, they could understand each other again. She was looking forward to a conversation she actually enjoyed, if one were possible, with Isidora. Digits crossed!

She winced at Matthias' 'story',

“I’m… sorry that your life got so crappy to the point you sought a way outta it. That’s, huh, a terrible state of mind to be in.” He tapped his claws together, nervous and unsure whether his comment was helping. “But, um, it’s good that you… don’t feel that kinda destructive rage anymore?”

Matthias smiled kindly at Silver. There was a tinge of sadness to the expression.

"There are worse things than anger," he said, in a quiet voice. "But it's kind of you to say such a thing. May all who bear such inner turmoil find a warmer peace than that which I sought."

"At least you have a hold of yourself now," remarked Malachai, drily. He didn't sound wholly contemptuous.

Matthias just nodded pleasantly at the little dragon.

"Well, I... don't know if I have anything fancy. I'm just a small time bear trying to make it into the big leagues. [...] I thought... I might never make it out, never see my mother again. It was the first time I'd felt that kind of finality. [...] I know that's stupid. A bear that can't even sniff his way through the woods. But, hey, that's me."

Laura tried to think of how to articulate something to the effect of 'well, you're clearly really human-socialised, it makes sense you'd be omn the back paw in that situation' without sounding patronising. She couldn't manage it before someone else started speaking.

She settled for a sympathetic nod his way.

“So why do I keep losing? What is it I still lack?”

“Then there was a flash. A thunderbolt, I believed, but no. It was Ordile. Staring down at me with his bright yellow eyes and his fangs glinting in the dim darkness…” Silver swallowed and rubbed his arms. Despite his thick fur, he felt cold. “Feraligatr are a proud species, so I… I assumed he wanted to lash out at me for failing him so many times. I braced myself for punishment…”

“…But it never came. Instead, Ordile, he… he pulled myself to him. Sheltered me from the storm with his own body. Growled words of reassurance. He had no reason to do any of that for me, to comfort me so that I didn’t feel lost and alone anymore, but he… did.”

Malachai looked away, wordlessly troubled by something. At length, when Silver was done, he spoke up.

"In the due course of things, you may well meet with many failures. Not because of your own shortcomings... but because you face insurmountable challenges. Do not think that every loss you suffer is yours to own. That... is a kind of arrogance."

He was addressing Silver, of course. But perhaps he was addressing someone else, too.

"Accept that you will fall down. That is life. It is then that you must continue. You must get back up."

Laura bit her lip. She'd heard this kind of thing from Mal before. Never what kind of thing he'd got back up from, though.

"So that's, what, three 'truths' now?" Her eyes darted off to the side. "And there's seven of us. How many d'you think the dungeon's askin' for? Maybe there’s like, a threshold or somethin'."

Laura grinned in Isidora's direction.

"You trying to wriggle out of it?" she bantered. She glanced up. "I dunno, looks like the stars up there are at about... forty, forty-two percent brightness? Four more oughta do it, I bet."

"The girl is obviously reluctant," stated Malachai, ruining it. "As are you."

"H-hey, I'll go next!" protested Laura.

But Andre, pensive since the first tale, already had a story in mind.

I'd also done a lot of thinking regarding the field I was in - economics. I was never forced to choose it, but… you could say I was strongly nudged. [...] When it started getting more and more clear what I was getting myself into, the life I was about to lock myself into, I got pretty anxious. [...] Economics just wasn't for me. I wasn't a businessperson. I didn't want to optimise revenue or treat people like they're a bunch of numbers."

Laura's eyes widened. Fuck, that was exactly what she'd been through. Goddamn. A point of real connection with Andre. She could commiserate with that. Howls, she'd worry about sounding like she was ripping the guy off if she shared her version of this story.

She braced herself with a sympathetic grimace as he continued, talking about going to tell his parents that he was done. She knew that couldn't possibly have gone well, oh gods... Poor guy. Well, she sure could empathise with shitty fucking parents—

"They said they loved me and that if this was what I really needed to do, they'd support me." A small smile crossed Andre's face. "I can scarcely remember a bigger sense of relief in my life than that."

She was gonna be sick. His parents had accepted him and he could do what he wanted with their support and she was gonna be fucking sick. Could jealousy actually fucking kill a person? She sure was finding out in real time! Verdict wasn't in yet, could go either way...

"I'm sure that was deeply cathartic," remarked Malachai. "Well, Laura? You said you'd go next."

Laura forced her jaw open, her temple pulsing sharply from how hard she'd grit her teeth.

"Sure," she said. The word tasted like bile.

"I didn't have a lot of friends growing up," she began, feeling the car crash coming well in advance, but not feeling any desire to stop it. "I was pretty lonely, really. The friends I did have, well, they ended up going away on journeys. Pokémon league circuits, stuff like that. Now, me and my partner – a purrloin, Salem – we wanted that for us. Wanted it so, so much. But, uh. My parents sent me away to study, as a condition of their supporting me financially and all that. Economics, finance, like Andre here – I liked it about as little as you did, actually. Anyway. They'd already moved the goalposts a dozen times already, what was one more time? So I went. Didn't have much choice. Couldn't even take Salem with me."

It was gonna be bad. It was gonna be bad and she was gonna push them all away and everything fucking sucked but wouldn't it be a relief to stop pretending like there was a chance things could get better?

"I kinda... dissociated my way through my first term there. Didn't make any new friends, barely looked after myself in student accomodation, was probably doomed to flunk the course. My parents could've expected as much, I did tell them it was a bad fit. Anyway. They, ah, said they'd look after Salem. So that kept me going. Came home for the winter hols, and would you believe it? They'd let Salem run off. No fucking clue where my only friend had gone. Obviously fucking neglected her, should've expected as much from them, and they wouldn't even let me be fucking mad about it, like it was childish, like I was being hysterical."

Malachai was looking at her. She felt like she had no skin and fur, like she was just naked flesh, stinging and burning in the air. Like his glare was gonna cook her like a piece of meat.

She swallowed, crossed her arms tightly, didn't look at Andre.

"So of course I realised I'd been a fucking idiot, and I never should've gone along with any of their shit to begin with. And I fucked off into the world and, y'know, made myself scarce. Figured I'd, like, look for Salem? Find her somehow, make everything okay. And 'cause I'm stupid, I've been fucking around chasing leads that might piss off a corporation who could sue me shitless, or disappear me, or something. For my cat partner who might fucking hate me now for all I know, for leaving her like that, because I'm a coward. And of course I've been bumming curries off the wild area rangers to get by, because I'm useless, and I need to rely on other people to survive, and I'm too proud or stubborn or whatever to rely on my parents, I guess, and—"

She gulped air, cutting herself off. She imagined bursting into tears in front of everyone. That'd fix everything, huh? Fucking pathetic.

"—and I haven't got any idea what my future even looks like any more, if I even have one," she managed, ears flat against her head, tail thrashing like a disturbed snake, claws digging into her arms. "And y-you know, hhnh, you know what? I wouldn't— I mean if I could go back— I wouldn't do a bloody thing differently. Howls, I'd have done it sooner. Because I'd rather starve and shiver and fuck up out there where I can do what I want, than slowly suffocate somewhere I never asked to be."

Malachai was still staring at her. She didn't meet his eyes. She had no idea what he was thinking, but it was probably something about her being a fucking embarrassment. Well, she somehow got through that disaster without crying or sniffling, and she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of having a meltdown now. She straightened up, and looked into the middle distance, her ears hot with shame and anger.

 

[canisaries]

Andre listened to Laura's story with an empathetic look. He didn't really have advice for her. Her parents sounded awful, but so did being... what, homeless? Poking her nose into the business of a corporation that could disappear her? It sounded all too dangerous for... well, someone from a world like his, and not some crazy place like Nova or Mhynt were from.

Ben had listened in silence as well, covering his mouth with a paw. "Oh dear," he breathed when she was done.

Andre glanced at Ben, then thought for a moment before responding to Laura. "It sounds like you have every right to be upset with your parents," he said. "I'm... sorry they couldn't be more responsible about your companion. I hope you find her." He did not think she would, but, well, he could still say this. He did want them to reunite, so why not hope.