In Progress Aku no Story [Vocaloid fanfic.] {4-part} (PG-13)

[PokeNinja]

Ok...Let's see
I'm writing my take on Daughter of Evil, Servant of Evil, Regret Message and Re_Birthday in here. I recommend you hear the songs before reading this.
This is based on the Aku no Musume Series by Akuno-P
And...I guess I'll start with Daughter of Evil. Oh no wait some stuff first!
Len: Oh pweeas can I read it :3
Rin: I'm reading after you!
Me: *facepalm* ok, go ahead
Len: Thank you Akuno-P for creating Aku no Musume series!
Rin: Thank you Crypton for creating Vocaloid!
Both the twins: Soundares's translation of the song is used, so thanks to him.
Me: Ok, we're done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ch 1:
Aku no Musume

Pov: Kagamine Rin

"Rin...hey,Rin."

I opened groggy eyes to find Len's smiling face.
"Mmm...Len? Is it breakfast time?"
"Is my Lady tired?"
"Not if we can eat breakfast really soon."
My name is Rin. I rule the yellow kingdom. I became the queen of this place at only age 14. Aha! I can do anything I want! Everything is mine! Glamorous, luxurious furniture!
Len....Len is my brother and my servant. He is one of the only people who makes me happy.
But, enough of that. Let's get to now, during breakfast! Brioche on my plate, a banana in my hand, today looks like a good day, until Len said something rather surprising:
"Rin, people are calling your place a kingdom of treacherous inhumanity..."
"Damn,Len! Why are you bringing this up now?"
"That way, you know why people had caused an uproar, if there was one."
"Ugh, seriously, Len. I'm not thinking about crap like that. "
He laughed that laugh of his and said,
" Ah, sorry if it scared you, onee-sama.
.....but aren't you the one who said:
'If the money lacks, extort it from the foolish citizens.", and you also said
' Those who oppose me, will die' ...?"

I stammered for a sensible answer, but what came out was
"ButbutwellIuhhhokyeahbutlookatmeI'myoungyouunderstandright?"
He just smiled and asked if I need any more assistance for now.
I replied with a "No, Len. I'm fine." I just wondered what if I really were that bad.

Evil flower blooms with vivid colorations. As for the weeds around, they became nutrients and are now decaying off​

"Len! Get your stuff ready! We're visiting the blue kingdom!"​

I'm getting away from my "crappy inhumane treacherous kingdom"....I sure do hope I can find a king as well...

~​

"LEN! I want that bitch dead!"

You're asking why I'm shouting? That, I can tell you.

~​

So there was me in the blue kingdom. I actually fell in love with the boy of my dreams. His name....It was Kaito. He... I wanted him to be my queen. However there was one problem. The apple of his eye was a girl from the green kingdom. Hatsune...Miku. Well, that did it. That bitch, I wanted dead. I got mad with envy and one day called Len.

~​

Len was silent, staring at me in shock for some reason. He then fell to the ground with tears.
"Oh..crap." He stood up and said
"I'm sorry, Princess...I....will do it."
"Really? You will?" I hugged him and said farewell with a "Good boy, Len!"
Numerous houses burned down as well, lives were lost. I don't care. Let those fools experience hell. As long as I'm happy.

~​

"Oh, time for the snack!"
Evil flower blooms daintily in maniacal coloration. Although it is a beautiful flower, oh, it has too many thorns it can't be touched.​

...
...........
..................
...............................................
"Len...! I..I'm scared!"
"Rin! Don't worry!"
Len was right. This is why people had caused an uproar. Meiko, the swordswoman, led a crowd no larger than a flock of birds.

The anger that had piled up now engulfed the whole country.​

My soliders couldn't protect me. And..and..

"Damnit! Rin, they've broken in!"​

~​

POV: Third-person
All the servants ran away. The lovely, dainty princess had been caught. Her reply?

"Oh, how disrespectful a man!"​

.....
A long time ago in a far away place: the kingdom of treacherous inhumanity.
And there, reign in apex, had been the princess of age 14. "Time of execution is at 3 in the afternoon she was told." The time when the church bell rings its haunting sound. And the person who had been called the princess...what thought does she have bored in jail? And when the execution came on the guillotine, she said this:
"Oh, time for the snack!"

Evil flower, scatters daintily in vivid coloration. The people of latter day talk about her. Oh, she was truly the Daughter of Evil.​

End of Chapter 1 ​

OH THANK GOD I FINISHED IT!
Get ready. For the better part. I didn't have a long song to work with, so I just used what I had. I don't think I showed Rin's evil side enough....
anyway, I'll post an epilogue to this chapter, because I like to do that.

EPILOGUE

Spoiler

The grieving bystander was confronted by Kaito.
"Do you see what the pain of loss feels like? I hold nothing against you."
The bystander looked at the man with teary eyes and said
"Kaito....I'm sorry. I..I"
"Say no more."
Meiko came up. You killed my family. I kill the one closest to you. Do you understand?
The girl nodded. Kaito and the red swordswoman walked away.
Kaito said to Meiko "I think Rin really will learn from this."
Meiko only said " Will she?"
Next chapter: Servant of Evil
(Watch it. It's going to make you cry. T.T I'm writing a nice big detailed version, and when I finish it I'll post it. Chya
~RinRin

 

[PokeNinja]

Ok, I finished writing second part.....
Here's a little something

From a Pv of daughter of evil

Thanks to NicoNicoHorizon

 

[PokeNinja]

HO-k!

while I'm waiting for response, I'm posting Links to the songs in the series.

Daughter of Evil and Servant of Evil (1 and 2)
(normally, they are separate songs. But I like the animation in this PV so I think it would be best to put a link that combines them (one leads into the other. Daughter of Evil is first. Servant of Evil is second) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JziPCm-N_7U&feature=channel_page

Regret message (3)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3XqQ1hTPTU

Re_birthday (4)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRjokGch7Qo&feature=related
(no subs with this PV, but it's from the same dude who made a PV for the link I posted of Daughter/Servant of Evil. I think there is subs on ONE of the other PVs....

And...that's about it.... damn....I have to type up the longest chapter I have ever written in a writing journal.....and that's Servant of Evil...

 

[OrangeAipom]

I just skimmed this, but I found a problem with tense.

Brioche on my plate, a banana in my hand, today looks like a good day, until Len said something rather surprising:

Looks is in the present tense, but said is in the past tense. You should be consistent with your tense and choose one.

I'll try reading this again once I'm less distracted.